How do I know if I'm making the right decision? Why do people make bad decisions? Basic criteria for the right choice
Throughout his life, every person often has to make an important decision. He also faces the need to make choices throughout the day: what to wear, what soap to use, what products to buy for home, what TV series to watch, and so on. And sometimes even such small everyday issues can put a person before a choice, the result of which can depend on one’s mood or even one’s fate.
Big and small problems
If you look at it this way, then our whole life is a chain consisting of links of choice options. It’s good if these are minor problems: how to cook rice porridge, what color is the tie would be better suited to the shirt... Such little things usually do not leave a trace in the memory. It’s another matter when a person’s future life is decided by choice. For example, what profession to choose, whether to tie your fate with the person you like or invest in a business. In these cases, the price of the issue is determined by other measures. If, having cooked porridge incorrectly, a person risks being left without lunch, then the price for a wrong decision can be the loss of money or even several years of life.
For this reason, making the right decision of this kind is often accompanied by stress. And the longer a person thinks, the more this condition worsens, which ultimately affects his well-being and ability to resolve the situation.
Why is it important to make a quick decision?
Every person wants something more in this life: to build a house, earn money, buy expensive furniture, have a beautiful appearance, raise smart children. At first glance, everything is simple - just take it and do it. But there is a small nuance: the possibilities have become so extensive that a person is at a loss for choice. Some turn off the right path, while others continue to go towards their intended goal. Therefore, before you do correct solution, it is necessary to analyze and weigh everything well. Today our world is structured in such a way that it is not “the big eats the small”, but “the nimble eats the slow.” Speed is everything. A small but actively developing company can unexpectedly absorb a clumsy giant.
In order to open your own production and start doing what you love, a person needs not only funds and desire, but also a decision to change his life once and for all. And this is not easy, because there are always doubts. How to take this step, how to decide to burn all the bridges behind and plunge into the world of new opportunities? In fact, there are many ways that help you overcome doubts and make the right decision.
Time to choose
If you have time to think about each question, you should think through each answer option, since you don’t know in advance which solution is correct. The more versions, the more chances to find best option. You can even write down on paper different situations and their possible solutions. Naturally, this will take time, but there will be an opportunity to analyze and think about everything.
Essentially, the choice is unique property man that nature gave him. With its help, he can control the reality in which he lives, so as not to become a hostage to unforeseen situations. If a person does not have time to make a choice himself, others will do it for him - parents, social environment, boss, friends. Choice is everything! Therefore, if a person is afraid to make choices himself, he cannot control his destiny, which means he will not achieve his goal. If he does not believe in himself, in his success, he will not have the courage to choose. What helps you make the right decision and how to take an important step?
Fear of failure
When making a decision, a person is afraid of the disapproval of others, failure, losing what he has, responsibility, poverty. Sometimes these fears are justified, but they make it possible to understand one truth: no matter what decision is made - right or wrong - loss cannot be avoided, it is this moment that becomes the cause of torment. Therefore, before quickly making the right decision, you need to kill the fear in yourself. Because of it, the need to choose is perceived as a painful burden - an attempt by all means to avoid it or delay it for some more time.
In addition, a lot depends on the person: under the same circumstances, someone makes a decision, and someone tries to transfer responsibility to another. Because everyone sees the world differently. Two people, having lived the same situation together, will talk about it differently.
The world through the prism of beliefs
We see our world through the prism of our beliefs and knowledge. They, like filters, are able to pass only the information that is necessary. On its basis, important conclusions are drawn. Before making the right decision, one must not give up, one must not give up, otherwise the person will not see a way out of the current situation. “I can’t do anything. I'm a small person. I have nothing left except work. I will always have to live in poverty,” such beliefs prevent you from being free, decisive, purposeful, persistent, believing in yourself, and deprive you of choice. Due to such blocking important information does not reach our consciousness, we simply reject it.
Is there a choice?
Of course, situations are different, but, regardless of the circumstances, the decision is made by the person himself. But what it will be like, conscious or not, is the question. A conscious decision is a clear vision of the future result. The unconscious is expressed in automatic action under the influence of an impulsive, passionate desire: “It happened,” “I couldn’t restrain myself.” In other words, the person himself does not understand how he committed this or that action, and as a result cannot understand the consequences.
In reality, we cannot know everything, and sometimes we are not able to perform actions that are competent in all respects, but we need to strive for the best, knowing not only ourselves, but also the world. A clear and clear understanding of how to find the right solution to a problem is the basis for effective choice.
Correct criteria
The main question today that many people ask themselves is: “How to get out of this or that situation?” Experts are sure that there is always a way out if you install correct criteria that we define for ourselves.
For example, if a woman wants to create a harmonious relationship and sets herself the task of meeting an athletic, dark-skinned, wealthy and intelligent man, then this will not be enough. Since such a desire determines only the external forms of the goal. It is necessary to fill the task with content. After all, you can meet many men according to established criteria, but how do you know if there is “the one” among them? This is where you can get confused and make a mistake.
Basic criteria for the right choice
For the right choice the task should be filled with many sub-points: what kind of relationship you want, what kind of character the chosen one should be. And you need to carry this goal in your heart and understand that you are the one worthy of it. Under no circumstances should there be any doubt. You need to believe that you will definitely meet a worthy person on your way. It is important to look at internal qualities: will you be comfortable with this man, do you feel joy and calmness, do you trust him? Only by answering these questions can you make an informed choice.
In a trap
Before choosing the right decision, you need to understand that the situation can change in any direction, so our future life depends only on our choice. Global changes require informed decisions, for which you need to be prepared. And this depends on the desire to manage your life and the ability to be responsible for your actions. The biggest mistake people make is an outburst of emotions that leads to rash actions. Any deadlock situation requires reflection, which takes time. Haste leads to negative consequences, and the person drives himself into a trap. There is no need to rush, otherwise you will have to start all over again. But, as they say, you learn from mistakes. And this is the kind of experience that brings wisdom.
Choice without lot
How to make the right decision, spending a minimum of time and without risk to health? As a rule, when making a choice, a person weighs the pros and cons. Psychologists even recommend writing down arguments in table form. But what if the result is a 50x50 proportion? How to find the right solution to a problem without resorting to drawing lots? Here are some standard tips to help deal with this problem:
When making a choice, you should look several steps ahead: what results will this or that result lead to. The only correct decision must come consciously, after carefully weighing all possible consequences.
Hopeless situations
Surely each of us has encountered unforeseen situations that required immediate decision-making: some were able to accept them, while others were not. As practice shows, some unforeseen situations do not forgive doubts and mistakes, so every person should know how to quickly make the right decision in order to protect themselves and loved ones from unpleasant situations. The main mistake of many people is unconscious actions in an emergency or an attempt to leave due to fear of responsibility. Therefore, it is better to be prepared in advance so as not to pay the price for unawareness and ignorance later.
How to make the right decision
There are circumstances when a problem needs to be solved right here and now, but a person cannot do anything because he does not know how to do the right thing. In such situations, you need to remain calm before making the right decision. After all, how the problem is resolved depends on this. Gather your thoughts, look into your subconscious, ask your intuition to suggest a way out of the current situation. And what solution comes to mind first is the answer to your request. Even if you have never developed your subconscious mind, it is worth using your intuition. It is important not to make decisions under criticism and pressure, since being in an unbalanced state can lead to rash choices.
So, what helps you make the right decision? This is life experience, lack of fear, intuition, subconscious, situation analysis and logical thinking.
Our whole life is woven from many decisions that we make every minute. It happens every second, and even unconsciously. At some moments we think about how to make a decision, at other moments making a decision is required only to perform some actions that are familiar to us. But one way or another, in order to start doing something, you must first make a decision.
Did you know that there are a huge number of things, even life-changing ones, that you can achieve by thinking about it for just one minute. Just 60 seconds of our time.
Is 1 minute a lot or a little?
Perhaps some of you will smile now and think to yourself that this does not happen. And that serious and business people should weigh the pros and cons... Yes, I agree with this, although this already comes after you have decided to act in this direction.
Let's say you've been thinking about changing jobs for a month. So, sometimes, after gossip with colleagues or a meeting with a successful classmate who, in the same time as you, has achieved much more in his life. But then, this unclear desire under the onslaught of everyday and daily routine completely disappears from your field of vision. And in Once again someday it will appear timidly and disappear just as strangely.
But you just need to distract yourself from all other matters at such a moment, concentrate, ask yourself a few serious questions and decide now and here: how much I want to leave this job. For those who have particular doubts, you can draw on a piece of paper or in your imagination the well-known “pluses and minuses” (the pluses are why I like all this and am happy with it, the minuses are all the things that make me unable to continue working here), We determine what is more and quickly make a decision.
Yes, I know, I know. Now say that if you hurry, you will make people laugh. Yes, this happens too. But you must clearly understand that almost any decision can be made in a minute. Almost anything. It is clear that not all. Here, too, the mind must be turned on.
Well, would you agree that such a non-trivial desire, how to become a millionaire, can be accepted in a minute? No, I hear it in the comments... I bet you, you can read about this in a very fascinating and interesting book"One Minute Millionaire" by Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen. A book about business, I think many will be interested in reading it. The authors claim that you can make the decision to become a millionaire in just a minute. Everything that follows is no longer relevant to making a decision. Do you agree?
And in our fairly common example of the desire to change jobs, there was simply not that minute of time to stop for a minute and make the right decision. You know, I also had such life situations when the decision took a long time to mature, but I did not dare, because of the large number of pluses, to make the decision that I needed. Until the moment when there were more minuses. Most likely, this is normal, and it is quite possible that if I had acted faster, I would not have missed so many opportunities.
The secret of successful people
Do you know the secret of successful people, and why they are so much more effective in their lives than many of us? They just manage to do more in the same amount of time. And they don’t just manage to do more, but they manage to do more IMPORTANT things. Here's a simple secret. If we come to an agreement with ourselves and do one more important thing every day than the previous day, I assure you that our personal effectiveness will increase significantly in a short time.
This means that the next day we will have to spend not one minute making a decision, but two, since we also should have not one, but two tasks. It is clear that no one forces us to go on forever; nevertheless, all our affairs must first of all be brought to a logical result. But if you approach this moment wisely, then the main things will appear regardless of our participation with enviable regularity.
The most important thing: how to make a decision
And here I will give a few more interesting thoughts on how to make a choice.
heads or tails
You are walking along the seashore and notice a strangely shaped bottle half sticking out of the sand.
You pick it up and open it.
A light mist emanates from the bottle, which turns into a fairy-tale genie.
Unlike other genies, this one does not offer to grant you three wishes.
He gives you the right to choose.
Option one:
You will receive five extra years of life if another person, chosen at random, has their life shortened by five years.
Do you want to prolong your life under such conditions?
Option two:
You can get twenty thousand dollars if you agree to get a tattoo the size of a dollar bill.
Will you take this money?
If so, where will you place the tattoo and what design will you choose?
Option three:
When you wake up tomorrow morning, you will be able to acquire a new quality or skill.
What will you choose?
Not a bad test. And how many similar alternatives appear in our lives when you cannot decide what to do in a given situation. Experts advise developing your own system for evaluating options, which is based on many factors: logic, reason, practical experience, emotions, feelings.
The level of our intellectual form depends on how actively we participate at the moment of decision making. That's why it's so important to learn how to choose wisely. It’s not for nothing that they say: “You are what you choose.” By the way, this statement comes from management consultant John Arnold. The apt statement very quickly became an aphorism.
What do you need to do to make a decision?
Let's stop for a minute and find out the most important thing that will help us learn how to make the right decision:
1. These are truisms, my friends. I'm sure you know all this. In fact, you know all this, you just don’t apply it. The problem is that you still need to DO it. And if you do unusual things, it means that you need to leave your comfort zone. But this is already uncomfortable. Is it true? That's why Let's start and get out of our comfort zone.
If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter which path you choose.
Brothers Karamazov, outstanding jugglers
3. Defining the parameters, which our goals must correspond to. It is not difficult. Let’s ask ourselves just three important questions.
What do I want to receive?
What do I want to avoid?
4. Are looking for alternative solution . We try to ensure that our requirements obtained by answering the listed questions themselves generate alternative solutions.
5. We evaluate and verify the chosen solution. Here the queen is mathematics. We will have to compare according to criteria, parameters, technical specifications, degree of risk, size of resources, etc.
Fast decisions made are not true.
Sophocles, poet and playwrightHe who thinks too much does little.
Johann Friedrich Schiller, poet and playwright
6. Introducing the Consequences the decision we made. The most interesting point, in my opinion. It already depends on the power of our imagination. Under no circumstances should you consult with relatives, friends and neighbors at this stage. For them, you must always remain as you are. They will advise you...
7. Required we feel ourselves and our own intuition. We must try to choose correct option and make the right decision, that is, what we feel is right.
8. We make a decision and we are not afraid of what we did incorrect choice. We also need mistakes, though not large quantities. Mistakes are experiences that will subsequently allow us to quickly evaluate the decision we make.
9. Once you have made a decision, you need to understand that will have to act in accordance with it.
I hear your indignant remarks: And all this can be done in a minute? Well, at first, it may not be possible to do it in a minute, but over time, the actions of our thought process will be brought to automaticity, and making decisions will become much easier than now. Well, then, no one is stopping you from developing your own decision-making methodology, I hope that you will definitely share it with us.
Make a decision in 1 minute
You can do a lot in one minute. You can just dream or regret. You can say “I quit,” you can say something important, or you can let something important happen through your silence. You can decide who you want to live with, what you want to do, whether you like doing it. In one minute you can determine your most important desire and understand why life is worth living. In one minute you can read this article and find out how to make a decision.
Find those things, those things, those tasks to start with that you can decide on in just 60 seconds. In just one minute of our time. Value your time and don’t do things that will make you regret the missed opportunities later. Let's act quickly!
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Why, for last years Has making decisions become much more difficult? Today in this article we will talk about how to make the right decision when in doubt.
First of all, this is due nervous tension and excessive workload due to the accelerated rhythm modern life. Adoption difficult decisions requires willpower, good self-control and a rational approach.
How to make the right decision when in doubt?
1. When making decisions, you should consider the situation from several sides. There are four questions that need to be answered when starting a particular task:
— What will happen if the supposed event happens?
- What will not happen if it happens?
- What will happen if this doesn’t happen?
- What will not happen if this does not happen?
This technique is known as “Descartes Square”. The value of this method lies in the ability to look at a problem from four sides. Usually, when making decisions, most people pay attention only to the first aspect: “What will happen if this happens?”
2. When deciding serious problems, you need to think through all the options for your own actions in any outcome of events. If you fail, it will be easier to cope with failure if alternative solutions are available.
3. You need to be able to separate important issues from trifles. Often, emotional people tend to exaggerate the significance of what is happening. Excessive worries can interfere with rational assessment.
There are many ways to cope with this task. One of them is the visualization method. You need to mentally move into the future 10 years and imagine how important this issue will be at that time. This method will help you take a more sober look at the situation.
4. After determining the direction, you need to learn to let go of the situation and move on calmly, without being tormented by regrets about a possible mistake or doubts about the correctness of your choice.
Sometimes the very fact of choosing a path is much more important than how correct this path turns out to be. Procrastination can cause more losses than mistakes. After all, mistakes made bring experience and knowledge.
Many people waste years in dead-end jobs or meaningless personal relationships simply because they lack the determination to change anything and take action in a different direction.
In fact, the question is not how to make the right decision when in doubt, but it is much more difficult to take responsibility for its consequences!
Decisiveness is very important quality, without which it is difficult to achieve success in any area of life. If desired, this quality can be developed in oneself, starting small and moving on to global problems.
Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - to do this or that, agree or refuse.
And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponement of decision-making.
So how? make the right decision and learn to make the right choice?
Here are 10 ways.
1 - Just make the decision that you like.
According to statistics, 7 decisions out of 10 managers of large companies turn out to be wrong. 40% of companies that were on the Fortune 500 list 20 years ago best companies the world no longer exists.
Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.
So relax, make a decision and start taking action.
You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.
You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.
Even if you make a mistake, you have a second, third, or as many attempts as you like. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better begin to understand how to make the right choice.
2 - Determine the price of your solution.
What happens if you do this or that and the choice turns out to be wrong? Write it out possible options consequences and make a decision based on this. But you should know that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.
For strategic tasks, it would be a good idea to write down possible consequences your decision. With Canva, you can create an online decision tree that will help you visualize possible alternatives and make it easier to make the right decision. - https://www.canva.com/ru_ru/grafik/derevo-resheniy/
3 - Determine the best result - Which decision will move you the most forward? Those who strive for more win in life. And those who are afraid to take risks are content ordinary life. Think, maybe sometimes it's worth taking a risk. Yes, you can lose more. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always return to another decision. So go for it. Success favors the brave.
4 - Ask your subconscious - most people try to make a decision based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.
Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and possible solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution should you choose?
And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what is worth doing.
All our experiences are stored in our subconscious. And we only get access to it in our dreams. Plus, the subconscious can connect to the unified information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev discovered his table in a dream.
So ask your subconscious a question and go to bed. You will learn more about this technique in this video.
5 - Do something- To make the right decision you need to have certain information. But where can I get it? Books, videos, articles are just theories. Only the practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.
If you are in doubt or choosing from several options, just do something in the direction of each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.
6 - Ask more successful person - Such a person can help you in literally 5 minutes. He knows and can do more than you. Look for successful people around you. Sign up for training. Ask your question on a thematic forum or group. The only thing is that you don’t need to ask everyone. Listen only to those who have actually solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience in overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then
7 - Introduce yourself super hero - Put yourself in the shoes of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about what solution he would choose.
Often, decisions are hindered internal fears and doubts. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, all this disappears and making a decision becomes much easier.
8 - Expand the number of options - Often people choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more possible solutions. Gather information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most informed decision.
9 - Let your brain sort everything out - Modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in a time-poor mode.
But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking too much, then a lot becomes clearer and a decision is chosen by itself.
There is a good expression: morning is wiser than evening. So just disconnect from the problem, do something pleasant and make a decision with a fresh mind.
10 - Write down all the pros and cons and compare
Choose 2-3 options and write each on a separate sheet. And make a list of pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and it immediately becomes clear to you which solution is more beneficial for you.
That's all.
But remember, a decision is not a decision until you act on it.
To make it easier for you, here are 50 step-by-step instructions
Throughout our lives we often have to accept various solutions. And it often happens that we hesitate: should we do this or that way?Or we don’t even understand what to do... What to do in such cases? How to behave so as not to regret what you did later? In fact, there are many ways that will help you.
Method one. Reasoning.
It is suitable for people who think rationally and are used to reasoning with.
Try to calculate the consequences of this or that action. It's best to write down all the pros and cons on a piece of paper to make it clearer. Let's say you were offered new job, but you doubt whether to agree or not. Take a sheet of paper, divide it into two halves and on one half write down all the advantages of the proposed position, for example, “high salary”, “growth prospects”, “social package”, on the second - negative factors - “work far from home”, “irregular schedule” , “little information about this company”, etc.
Look at both halves of the sheet and count how many pros and cons you have. Now highlight what is your priority. After all, let’s assume that salary and career can completely compensate for some inconveniences. And it also happens that money and career are not the main thing for you, but you want to return home early and spend the weekend with your family. This method will simply help you visually put everything into categories, and this will make it easier to finally make a decision.
Method two. Intuition.
Suitable for people with an intuitive type of thinking. Listen to what. If you have been offered a job or, say, marriage, and the offer seems good, but for some reason you are not inclined to accept it, then maybe it’s not worth it? And, on the contrary, if your mind doubts, but your heart tells you to do just that, shouldn’t you follow its lead? If your intuitive premonitions have already been justified before, then that means you can completely trust them.
Method three. Try your luck.
This is for magically minded citizens. We're talking about different ones. Not even necessarily traditional ones, like cards or the I Ching. You can simply wish: “If the next candy I take out of this bag is green, then I will go to this place, and if it is red, then I will refuse the trip.” The main thing is to get the candies without looking.
You can also “tell fortunes” using a watch. Experts say that if on the dial, when you glance at it. there will be a “jackpot” - say, 11 hours 11 minutes, then you can rest assured: the upcoming meeting or undertaking will be successful for you. If the first two digits are greater than the second two, say 21 hours zero three minutes, you should not rush to make a decision. If, on the contrary, for example, the clock shows 15:39, it means that time is pressing for you: hurry up so as not to miss your chance.
Now special balls for decision-making have appeared on sale. You formulate a question, shake the ball and look at the answer in the window. Just remember that the ball does not predict the future, but only tells you what to expect and how best to act in a given situation.
Method four. Reading the signs of fate.
Suitable for those who are interested, if not in mysticism, then in psychology and. When thinking about a solution, pay attention to what is happening around you. Suppose you are planning to go somewhere, but you are not sure whether to go or not. And then suddenly the phones start ringing and you are bombarded with requests from friends, you lose the keys to your apartment and discover that the sole of your shoe has fallen off... Most likely, Providence is telling you: it’s not worth going to this meeting.
Or someone offers you cooperation, and his last name turns out to be the same as that of a person whom you knew many years ago and with whom you had some kind of unpleasant situation... Is it a coincidence?
Or you are planning a tourist trip, and suddenly you... strange coincidence, I come across a post on the Internet from a former client of that same travel company, who recalls with horror how he used its services...
They ask you a large sum into debt, and then the title of the note catches your eye: “Company N has gone bankrupt”...
You have had a stabbing pain in your lower back for three months now, but you can’t decide whether to go to the doctor. And then you catch a snippet of someone else’s conversation on the subway: “I did an ultrasound yesterday, they said there was a kidney stone...”
You are wondering whether to go on a date with the gentleman who invited you, and on the radio they sing: “Don’t go to meet him, don’t go. He has a granite pebble in his chest.” Why not a hint?
A “picture” can also carry a hint. For example, you are not sure whether you should connect your destiny with this particular person. And suddenly you see a couple of tender swans on the pond. Or, on the contrary, you meet a couple of cats desperately fighting on the street... Draw the appropriate conclusions.
Of course, you shouldn’t take literally every little thing for granted. But if a word or event caught your attention, stuck in your memory, or it clearly seemed to you that “it’s all about you,” that it’s connected specifically to your situation, then it makes sense to take it into account. Good luck with your decisions!