Ostap Bender's catchphrases. Catchphrases and favorite quotes from Ostap Bender
Ostap-Suleiman-Berta-Maria Bender Bey (Transdanubian), or simply Ostap Bender - main character novels by Ilya Ilf and Yevgeny Petrov “The Twelve Chairs” and “The Golden Calf”, “the great schemer”, “the son of a Turkish subject”, “an ideological fighter for banknotes”, who knew “four hundred relatively honest ways of taking away (diversion) money.” One of the most popular heroes of a picaresque novel in Russian literature.
1. Kitty, you are a dense provincial! Nowadays no one uses the cash register anymore; there is an administrator window for this.
2. Keep in mind, dear Shura, I don’t intend to feed you for nothing. For every vitamin I feed you, I will demand many small favors from you.
3. Everything is taken into account by a mighty hurricane...
4. I have all the vulgar signs of being in love: lack of appetite, insomnia and a manic desire to write poetry. Listen to what I sprinkled last night under the flickering light of an electric lamp: “I remember wonderful moment, you appeared before me, like fleeting vision, like a genius of pure beauty." Is it really good? Talented? And only at dawn, when the last lines were written, I remembered that this verse had already been written by A. Pushkin. Such a blow from a classic! A?
5. Mother-intercessor, three-handed police! What kind of banal, disgusting bureaucracy is this?
6. Don't overthink it. Keep quiet. And don't forget to puff out your cheeks.
7. Well, hello, great country. I don't like being the first student and receiving marks for attention, diligence and behavior. I am a private person and have no obligation to be interested in silos, trenches and towers. I am somehow of little interest in the problem of the socialist transformation of a person into an angel and a savings bank depositor. Vice versa. I am interested in the pressing issues of caring for the personality of single millionaires.
8. You need to think. For example, I am fed by ideas.
9. Tell me, Shura, honestly, how much money do you need to be happy?... Not for today, but in general. For happiness. Clear? So that you feel good in the world.
10. There are people who don’t know how to suffer, somehow it doesn’t work out. And if they do suffer, they try to do it as quickly as possible and unnoticed by others.
11. Here's some gray hair in your beard! Here's a devil in your ribs!
12. - What does this mean?
- This means that you are a retarded person.
- Why?
- Because! Sorry for the vulgar question: how much money do you have?
- What money?
13. - Is it possible to do this - chairs in the morning, and money in the evening?
- Can! But money goes first!
14. The first move is E2-E4, and then... And then we’ll see.
15. You are amazingly resourceful, dear stool hunter, as you can see, there are no diamonds.
16. Why are you looking at me like a soldier at a louse? Stunned with happiness?
17. Half of mine is half of ours...
19. You workers are like a sieve made of a dog’s tail.
20. Transport has completely gotten out of hand, there is only one thing left - to convert to Islam and travel on camels.
21. And in general - the gasoline is yours, and the ideas are ours!
22. I am an ideological fighter for banknotes!
23. In passion, as in happiness, we all seek constancy,
But nothing lasts forever under the sun - no.
24. - Never, never did Vorobyaninov extend his hand!
- So stretch your legs, you old fool!
25. It's hit or miss. I choose the gentleman, although he is clearly a Pole.
26. Cold soft-boiled eggs are very tasteless food, and a good, cheerful person would never eat them.
27. Well stated, dog.
28. This is all that remains of the ten thousand. 34 rubles. And I thought. that we still have seven thousand current account. How did it happen? Everything was so fun, we were preparing horns and hooves, life was delightful and the Earth was spinning especially for us, and suddenly...
29. For some reason, in the sandy steppes of the Arabian land, three proud palm trees grew.
30. What a cold country we live in! Everything is hidden with us, everything is underground. Even Narkomfin with its super-powerful tax apparatus cannot find a Soviet millionaire.
31. Don’t make a cult out of food!
32. There is no girl in the world who would not know, at least a week in advance, about the impending expression of feelings.
33. Statistics know everything.
34. Let's walk on the lawns and be fined.
35. I would stuff your snout, but Zarathustra does not allow it.
36. Be strong! Russia will not forget you! Abroad will help us!
37. “There’s no time to hug,” he said. Goodbye darling. We separated like ships at sea.
38. The most important thing, said Ostap, walking around the spacious room of the Carlsbad Hotel, is to bring confusion into the enemy camp. The enemy must lose peace of mind. It's not that hard to do. In the end, people are most afraid of the unknown.
39. In our vast country, an ordinary car, intended, according to pedestrians, for the peaceful transportation of people and goods, took on the menacing shape of a fratricidal projectile.
40. You always think: “I’ll still have time for this.” There will still be a lot of milk and hay in my life.” But in reality this will never happen again. So know this: it was the best night of our lives, my poor friends. And you didn't even notice it.
41. I have often been unfair to the deceased. But was the deceased moral person? No, he was not a moral person. He was a former blind man, an impostor and a goose thief. He put all his strength into living at the expense of society. But society did not want him to live at its expense. But Mikhail Samuelevich could not bear this contradiction in his views, because he had a hot temper. And that's why he died. All!
42. No need for applause! I didn't make the Count of Monte Cristo. We'll have to retrain as building managers.
43. I am 33 years old - the age of Jesus Christ, but what have I done? He didn’t create a teaching, he squandered his students, he didn’t resurrect poor Panikovsky!
44. Here I am a millionaire! An idiot's dreams come true!
45. Panikovsky will sell you all, buy you and sell you again... but at a higher price.
46. The main thing is to eliminate the cause of sleep. The main reason is existence itself Soviet power. But in this moment I can't eliminate it. I just don't have time.
47. Since you live in a Soviet country, then your dreams should be Soviet.
48. I am certainly not a cherub. I don't have wings, but I respect the Criminal Code. This is my weakness.
49. Comrades!.. The political situation in Europe... Our response to Chamberlain...
50. I had problems with the Soviet regime Last year serious disagreements. She wants to build socialism, but I don’t want to. I'm bored of building socialism.
51. Abroad is a myth about afterlife. Whoever gets there does not return.
52. Since there are some banknotes wandering around the country, there must be people who have a lot of them.
53. Women love: young, politically literate, long-legged...
54. I don’t need an eternal primus needle, I don’t want to live forever.
55. “It seems that it has arrived psychological moment for dinner,” thought Ostap.
56. Don't be a lady's cow.
57. Well, what do you say, Shura?! Maybe we should go for a ride too!?
58. A sultry woman, said Ostap, is a poet’s dream. Provincial spontaneity. In the center there are no such subtropics for a long time, but on the periphery, in the localities, they still occur.
59. The time, he said, that we have is money that we do not have.
60. I will ask you, citizen, to clean the chair.
61. It’s time for you, leader, to be treated with electricity.
62. “You are a rather vulgar person,” Bender objected, “you love money more than necessary.”
63. You are a dude, the son of a dude and your children will be dudes!
64. Why are you yelling like polar bear in warm weather?
65. The financial abyss is the deepest of all abysses; you can fall into it all your life.
66. When I see this new life, these shifts, I don’t want to smile, I want to pray!
67. Speaking of childhood, when I was a child I killed people like you on the spot. From a slingshot.
68. We don’t need rude people. We are rude ourselves.
69. - Life! - said Ostap. - Victim! What do you know about life and sacrifice? Do you think that if you were evicted from a mansion, you know what life is? And if a fake Chinese vase was requisitioned from you, then do you know what a victim is? Life, gentlemen of the jury, is a complex thing, but, gentlemen of the jury, this complex thing opens simply like a box. You just need to be able to open it. Those who don't know how to do it disappear.
70. You are an interesting person! Everything is fine with you. It’s amazing, with such happiness - and in freedom!
71. In the big world, people are driven by the desire to benefit humanity. The small world is far from such lofty matters. Its inhabitants have one desire - to somehow live without feeling hungry.
72. Kitty, let us also be immortalized. Let's fill Mika's tanks. By the way, I also have chalk! By God, I’ll go ahead and write: “Kisa and Osya were here.”
73. Give me the sausage, give me the sausage, you fool! I will forgive everything!
74. An idea is a human thought, presented in a logical chess form.
75. - Well, uncle, are there any brides in your city?
- Whose bride is the mare?
- More questions I do not have.
76. He loved and suffered. He loved money and suffered from its lack.
77. Life dictates its harsh laws to us.
79. Or maybe they’ll give you the key to the apartment where the money is?
80. Closer to the body, as Maupassant said!
81. A car, comrades, is not a luxury, but a means of transportation!
82. Secret alliance of sword and ploughshare! Complete secret organizations!
83. I consider the evening of memories closed.
84. Well, you, a victim of abortion!
85. What money? I think you asked me about some money?
86. The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury!
87. All smuggling is done in Odessa, on Malaya Arnautskaya Street.
88. Boy... Is he bad? Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me!
89. I will command the parade!
90. - For what purpose is the fee charged?!
- For the purpose of repairing the failure.
- So as not to fail too much!
91. We are strangers at this celebration of life.
92. When they beat you, you will cry!
93. Rio de Janeiro is the crystal dream of my childhood: don’t touch it with your paws.
94. We will wear cambric foot wraps and eat Margot cream.
95. - I'm buying a plane! - the great schemer hastily said. - Wrap it in paper.
96. Fate plays with man, and man plays the trumpet.
97. Only an insurance policy can give a person complete peace of mind.
98. The investigation into the Koreiko case can consume a lot of time. How much - only God knows. And since there is no God, no one knows. Terrible situation.
99. You are not in church, you will not be deceived.
100. The hearing continues, gentlemen of the jury.
Ilya Ilf and Evgeny Petrov are one of the most notable satirists and humorists of the Soviet era, whose books make us laugh and surprise us to this day. And quotes from Ostap Bender and other heroes have already become real classics. In this post, I propose to recall everyone’s favorite phrases of the heroes.
The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury, the ice has broken.Maybe I should give you another key to the apartment where the money is?
Ostap walked into a room that could only be furnished by a creature with the imagination of a woodpecker.
Is this your boy?
Boy, is it bad? Typical boy. Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me!
The client must be accustomed to the idea that he will have to give money. He must be morally disarmed, his reactionary possessive instincts suppressed.
I'm certainly not a cherub. I don't have wings, but I respect the Criminal Code. This is my weakness.
This mental exercise seems to have exhausted you greatly. You are becoming stupid right before your eyes.
You need to show him some paper, otherwise he won't believe that you exist.
The financial abyss is the deepest of all abysses, you can fall into it all your life.
He loved and suffered. He loved money and suffered from its lack.
Being a beggar is not so bad, especially with a moderate education and a weak voice!
However, you can leave, but here, I warn you, Long hands!... He stayed - the “long arms” made an unfavorable impression on him.
Ostap quickly snatched it from Panikovsky’s hands, saying:
- Don’t make a cult out of food.
After that he ate the cucumber himself.
Monsieur, it’s not mange pas sis jour. Goeben mir zi bitteetvas kopek auf dem stück ford. Give me something former deputy State Duma.
Cold soft-boiled eggs are very tasteless food, and a good, cheerful person would never eat them.
Over the past year, serious disagreements have arisen between me and the Soviet authorities. She wants to build socialism, but I don’t want to. I'm bored of building socialism.
Don't knock your bald head on the parquet
You are not in church, you will not be deceived.
How much is opium for the people?
Life, gentlemen of the jury, is a complicated thing, but, gentlemen of the jury, this thing opens as simply as a box.
You just need to be able to open it. He who cannot open it disappears
I will command the parade!
Pedestrians must be loved. Pedestrians make up most humanity. Moreover, the best part of it. Pedestrians created the world.
The gasoline is yours, the ideas are ours.
In our vast country, an ordinary car, intended, according to pedestrians, for the peaceful transportation of people and goods, has taken on the menacing shape of a fratricidal projectile.
The sunset was pure, naive, as if it had been painted by a provincial young lady long before the first, terrible thoughts about men came into her head.
If you see an American laughing, it doesn't mean he's funny. He laughs for the reason that an American should laugh.
You can be a sweet and smart boy, do well at school, do an excellent course in university sciences - and after several years of regularly visiting the cinema, turn into an idiot.
Rio de Janeiro is the crystal dream of my childhood, don’t touch it with your paws.
There is always that person who tries his best to be the last to speak.
He got so drunk that he could already perform various minor miracles.
Just don't shoot at the chandelier, it's unnecessary.
He courted a typist whose modest hips unleashed his poetic feelings.
You are a rather vulgar person, you love money more than necessary.
- Don’t you like money?
- I do not like.
- Why do you need sixty thousand?
- Out of principle!
Although we are not in Paris, you are welcome to our hut.
You are an interesting person! Everything is fine with you. It’s amazing, with such happiness - and in freedom!
The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury, the ice has broken.
Maybe I should give you another key to the apartment where the money is?
Ostap walked into a room that could only be furnished by a creature with the imagination of a woodpecker.
Is this your boy?
Boy, is it bad? Typical boy. Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me!
The client must be accustomed to the idea that he will have to give money. He must be morally disarmed, his reactionary possessive instincts suppressed.
I'm certainly not a cherub. I don't have wings, but I respect the Criminal Code. This is my weakness.
This mental exercise seems to have exhausted you greatly. You are becoming stupid right before your eyes.
You need to show him some paper, otherwise he won't believe that you exist.
The financial abyss is the deepest of all abysses, you can fall into it all your life.
He loved and suffered. He loved money and suffered from its lack.
Being a beggar is not so bad, especially with a moderate education and a weak voice!
However, you can leave, but I warn you, we have long arms!... He stayed - the “long arms” made an unfavorable impression on him.
Ostap quickly snatched it from Panikovsky’s hands, saying:
- Don’t make a cult out of food.
After that he ate the cucumber himself.
Monsieur, it’s not mange pas sis jour. Goeben mir zi bitteetvas kopek auf dem stück ford. Give something to the former State Duma deputy.
Cold soft-boiled eggs are very tasteless food, and a good, cheerful person would never eat them.
Over the past year, serious disagreements have arisen between me and the Soviet authorities. She wants to build socialism, but I don’t want to. I'm bored of building socialism.
Don't knock your bald head on the parquet
You are not in church, you will not be deceived.
How much is opium for the people?
Life, gentlemen of the jury, is a complicated thing, but, gentlemen of the jury, this thing opens as simply as a box.
You just need to be able to open it. He who cannot open it disappears
I will command the parade!
Pedestrians must be loved. Pedestrians make up the majority of humanity. Moreover, the best part of it. Pedestrians created the world.
The gasoline is yours, the ideas are ours.
In our vast country, an ordinary car, intended, according to pedestrians, for the peaceful transportation of people and goods, has taken on the menacing shape of a fratricidal projectile.
The sunset was pure, naive, as if it had been painted by a provincial young lady long before the first, terrible thoughts about men came into her head.
If you see an American laughing, it doesn't mean he's funny. He laughs for the reason that an American should laugh.
You can be a sweet and smart boy, do well at school, do an excellent course in university sciences - and after several years of regularly visiting the cinema, turn into an idiot.
Rio de Janeiro is the crystal dream of my childhood, don’t touch it with your paws.
There is always that person who tries his best to be the last to speak.
He got so drunk that he could already perform various minor miracles.
Just don't shoot at the chandelier, it's unnecessary.
He courted a typist whose modest hips unleashed his poetic feelings.
You are a rather vulgar person, you love money more than necessary.
- Don’t you like money?
- I do not like.
- Why do you need sixty thousand?
- Out of principle!
Although we are not in Paris, you are welcome to our hut.
You are an interesting person! Everything is fine with you. It’s amazing, with such happiness - and in freedom!
After reading and laughing, you understand why the main character of “The Twelve Chairs” and “The Golden Calf” Ostap-Suleiman-Berta-Maria-Bender-Beit, aka the son of a Turkish citizen, became our favorite hero
Popular joke:
Those who say that you need to drink less, and those who say that you need to drink more, agree on one thing: You need to drink.
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| According to N. Aksenova, candidate of sciences from Kharkov... |
Who doesn't know the wonderful adventurer Ostap Bender? He easily finds a way out of any situation, his adventures are distinguished by originality. And some of his phrases were so loved by readers that they became catchphrases. And even if you haven’t read the books about his adventures or watched the films based on them, most of Ostap Bender’s quotes will seem familiar to you.
About finances
Ostap Bender loved luxury. He always dreamed of going abroad and living for his own pleasure. But this requires money. Therefore, with amazing tenacity, he searched for various ways to quickly get rich. Or the adventurer could spend months planning the scam. But there was only one goal - to immediately receive huge sums, which would be enough for a comfortable life. Quotes from Ostap Bender about finances, even after a long period of time, still remain relevant.
“The financial abyss is the deepest of all abysses. You can fall into it all your life” - what could the great schemer mean? It's very simple: a person who finds himself in a difficult financial situation may not get out of it. More often this happens due to improper spending of funds. After all, if a person is not able to manage his funds wisely, then a financial abyss will open before him. Therefore, dear comrades, approach your savings wisely!
On the importance of thinking
Ostap Bender was inexhaustible with ideas for enrichment. And all of them were distinguished by a non-trivial approach and careful preparation for large scams. But, if necessary, the great schemer could just as quickly earn money for the bare necessities. Some quotes from Ostap Bender are about how important it is to be able to quickly generate ideas.
“You have to think. For example, I am fed by ideas” - if you have read or watched a film about a great schemer, you will have noticed how easily he comes up with ideas for getting rich. And it doesn’t matter whether it concerns huge sums or finding money for travel to the appointed place. And anything could inspire him. Bender simply had an extraordinary mind, was more observant than most people, and had a creative approach to the task at hand.
"Religion is the opium of the people"
This opinion was shared by famous revolutionary figures K. Marx and V. Lenin. But it became so popular thanks to the well-known combinator Bender. "How much is opium for the people?" - Ostap asked this question to Father Fedor, his competitor in the search for diamonds. And it was this phrase, said in such a humorous and satirical manner, that became popular.
"How much is opium for the people?" - It was not by chance that Ostap asked such a question to his opponent. After all, Father Fedor was different from the usual image of a priest: he was not at all against getting rich. That's why Bender asked him, implying that he was misleading people with his apparent piety and modest lifestyle. But in fact, he is the same adventurer as Ostap.
Secret society
Ostap Bender knew that those who were dissatisfied with the Soviet regime. These are nobles from whom all their property was taken away and given to the state. But they still had some savings. Therefore, the great schemer needed their help.
He created a secret society and began to convince people that Soviet power would soon fall, things would be like in Tsarist Russia. And for greater persuasiveness, Bender said the phrase: “Foreign countries will help us!” And this was a weighty argument, because the former nobles remembered the times when they calmly traveled abroad. Therefore, the great schemer quickly won their trust. "Foreign countries will help us!" - meant capitalist countries whose governments did not like Soviet power. Ostap knew about this, which is why he said such words.
Characteristics of a combinator in one phrase
Ostap Bender is a bright, charismatic personality. And, despite the fact that his main income is various financial frauds, he evokes sympathy among readers and viewers. Quotes from Ostap Bender remain relevant to this day. Even people who do not know about this character have heard them and use them in their speech. One of these is “I will command the parade!”
This phrase fully reveals the personality of the great schemer. A person who boldly and openly makes a statement that he takes upon himself the entire organization of the event already shows himself as strong personality. After all, not everyone can take control into their own hands and be ahead of the rest. Ostap Bender is a leader with excellent organizational skills, knowledgeable in psychology, and therefore he could find an approach to any person. But at the same time, he is not devoid of a sense of justice, which he carefully concealed in order to preserve his image of a strict and stern leader.
"I will command the parade!" people say when they take charge of organizing an event.
Ironic attitude towards a woman
Ostap Bender was not at all sentimental and did not dream of high feeling. More than anything in the world, he loved money. But sometimes the young adventurer became interested in beautiful people. Although, more often than not, this was necessary for his adventures.
Once, in a provincial town, he met a young attractive person, about whom he said: “A sultry woman is a poet’s dream!” The impressionable lady dreamed of passionate love. Ostap then condescendingly noted that in big cities Such women no longer exist, but they still exist in the provinces.
This is an ironic statement about overly temperamental representatives of the fair sex. Why do poets dream about them? Because they always write about sublime feelings. Likewise, these women dream of the same poetic passions.
"12 chairs"
Witty and memorable quotes from Ostap Bender appear on almost every page of the book. It is difficult to determine the most popular, because they are all distinguished by their worldly wisdom, dressed in humor and sarcasm. Quotes from Ostap Bender from “12 Chairs” have long become catchphrases, but we can highlight special ones that will be known to everyone.
“The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury, the ice has broken!” - who hasn’t heard this exclamation? That's what they say when you're working on challenging task the first successes appear. Such a comparison is most likely associated with spring: after all, if the ice begins to melt, it means that it is warm. Now this statement is one of best quotes Ostap Bender.
"Golden calf"
In the second part of the adventures of the great schemer there are many funny episodes that readers remember. Comrade Bender is still witty, resourceful, and loves to give advice. Not indifferent to money. In "The Golden Calf" there are many apt and sarcastic quotes from the young adventurer, which quickly began to be used in speech by everyone.
One of the most memorable episodes was associated with a car rally - Ostap’s original adventure. And then he said the famous phrase: “A car is not a luxury, but a means of transportation!”, thereby showing that people greatly exaggerate the importance vehicle, mistakenly believing that only the rich should have it.
Writers I. Ilf and E. Petrov managed to create a character that readers fell in love with, despite the fact that he was involved in various scams and frauds. Ostap Bender is a person whose charm fell on everyone who knew him. In his phrases one could read a mockery of human stupidity and the shortcomings of the Soviet government. Therefore, many of his quotes resonated with readers and later became catchphrases.
How well do you know the popularly known character in the books by I. Ilf and E. Petrov? We are glad to present to your attention the most remarkable quotes from the ideological fighter for banknotes Ostap Ibrahimovich Bender or Ostap Berta Maria Bender Bey:
The twelve Chairs
You are truly a hero of labor. You need to erect a monument not made by hands!
You have been deceived. They gave you much better fur. These are Shanghai leopards.
Wine, women and cards are provided for us.
Here's the police for you! So much for the high cost of chairs for workers of all countries! Here's to girls' night outings! Here's some gray hair in your beard! Here's a devil in your ribs!
The time we have is money we don't have.
All smuggling is done in Odessa, on Malaya Arnautskaya Street.
What regiment did you serve in?
After all, you are not my mother, my sister, or my lover. (To Vorobyaninov)
You are a vulgar person, Kisa!
There are also sleeves from a vest, a donut hole and dead donkey ears.
Abroad will help us.
The trial continues, gentlemen of the jury.
A sultry woman, a poet's dream.
What money? I think you asked me about some money?
I will command the parade!
The office writes.
Who do you think this powerful old man is? Don't say, you can't know. This is a giant of thought, the father of Russian democracy and a person close to the emperor.
Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me! (about Vorobyaninov)
The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury!
Maybe I should also give you the key to the apartment where the money is?
We are strangers at this celebration of life. (To Vorobyaninov, meaning only both of them)
I would stuff your snout, but Zarathustra doesn’t allow it.
Don't be a lady cow.
Bye then! Write letters!..
Well, you, abortion victim!
He loved and suffered. He loved money and suffered from its lack.
You can get the ears from a dead donkey from Pushkin...
Give me the sausage, you fool! I will forgive everything!
How much is opium for the people?
The subject of my lecture is a fruitful opening idea. What, comrades, is a debut and what, comrades, is an idea? The debut, comrades, is “Quasi una fantasia.” And what, comrades, does an idea mean? An idea, comrades, is a human thought, clothed in a logical chess form.
Five hundred rubles can save a giant of thought.
Russia will not forget you!
Soon only cats will be born.
Doubt our money?!
The secret union of sword and ploughshare! Complete secret of the organization!
Wipe your eyes, citizen. Each of your tears is a molecule in space.
This is typical foppery: robbing a poor widow.
I'll give you parabellum.
You are not in church, you will not be deceived!
Golden calf
But we don’t need rude people. We are rude ourselves.
A car is not a luxury, but a means of transportation.
Oh, did you think? So you think sometimes? You are a thinker. What is your last name, thinker? Spinoza? Jean-Jacques Rousseau? Marcus Aurelius?
So, do I look like a person who might have relatives?
The gasoline is yours, the ideas are ours.
The wreckage of a shipwreck floats in this naval borscht.
All to Avtodor, comrades!
You did not come from a monkey like all other citizens, you came from a cow. You're taking too long to figure it out!
The Countess runs across the pond with a changed face.
Load oranges in barrels Karamazov brothers
Go, go, I only serve on Saturdays.
I will command the parade!
By the way, about childhood. When I was a child, I killed people like you on sight. From a slingshot.
Who is Studebaker? Is this your Studebaker cousin? Is your dad a Studebaker? Why are you stuck to the person? ...Experts! Such experts must be killed! Give him a Studebaker!
Mother intercessor, three-handed police!
I am thirty-three years old - the age of Jesus Christ. What have I done so far? He didn’t create a teaching, he squandered his students, he didn’t resurrect the dead Panikovsky.
Maybe we just want to go for a ride?
We will not forgive them for this! We will remember this for them!
- ...on a silver platter.
-...call me not Monsieur, but Situain...
Don't make a cult out of food.
Don't eat raw tomatoes at night!
No need for applause! I didn't make the Count of Monte Cristo. We'll have to retrain as building managers.
No, this is not Rio de Janeiro, this is much worse.
No, I won’t smother him with a pillow or hit him on the head with a blued revolver...
Don't you recognize it? Meanwhile, many find that I am strikingly similar to my father.
Original design, the dawn of motorism. You see, Balaganov, what can be done from a simple sewing machine Singer? A small device - and you get a lovely collective farm binder.
There is everything inside: palm trees, girls, blue express trains, the blue sea, a white steamer, a little worn tuxedo, a Japanese footman, your own billiards, platinum teeth, whole socks, dinners on pure animal oil and, most importantly, my little friends, fame and the power that money gives.
Just don't shoot at the chandelier, it's unnecessary.
Let's hit the roads and sloppiness with a motor rally!
The broad masses of billionaires are getting acquainted with the life of a new, Soviet village.
Shura, my dear, restore the status quo!
I have often been unfair to the deceased. But was the deceased a moral person? No, he was not a moral person. He was a former blind man, an impostor and a goose thief. He put all his strength into living at the expense of society. But society did not want him to live at its expense. But Mikhail Samuelevich could not bear this contradiction in his views, because he had a hot temper. And that's why he died. All!
Is this the governor of Borneo?
I am not holding out my paw for the sour executive committee ruble.
I'm not a surgeon, I'm a neurologist, I'm a psychiatrist. I study the souls of my patients. And for some reason I always come across very stupid souls.
- ...I, you know, am not a financier. I am a free artist and a cold philosopher.
I'm certainly not a cherub. I don't have wings, but I respect the Criminal Code. This is my weakness.
Church of the Savior on potatoes.