Why can't natural parents be godparents? Girl's christening: rules and ritual, folk signs

The godfather (father) must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be someone who has fallen away from the Church (who does not regularly receive communion), a representative of another religion, or an atheist. The recipient is required not only to know the Creed and read it at Baptism, but also spiritual education godson in the future, daily prayer for him.
The godfather must be a church-going person, ready to regularly take his godson to church and raise him in Christian faith.
After the Sacrament of Baptism has been performed, the godfather cannot be changed, even if he has gone missing or fallen from the faith.
Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents to both boys and girls.
The father and mother of a child cannot be godparents, and a husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child; other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.
A person should only have one godparent. According to the Trebnik, only one recipient is considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person. The presence of a second godfather is an unwritten, albeit ancient, custom of the Church.
Monks and nuns are not allowed to be ordained.
The rite of the Sacrament of Baptism assumes the presence of recipients in person during its celebration. As a last resort, infant baptism is allowed even without godparents, then the priest himself is considered godfather.
Marriages between the baptized person and the recipient are prohibited: the recipient cannot marry his spiritual daughter, and the godfather cannot marry the widowed mother of his spiritual daughter (VI Ecumenical Sob., Rights. 53).

It is reckless to invite a non-church person to be godparents: what can someone who does not know the subject teach? It’s like choosing a guide on a dangerous journey, where the price at stake is life (in our case, Eternal), a rogue who does not know the route.
It is also unreasonable for a church person to take vows before God to raise a child in the Christian faith, whose parents are not only outside the Church, but also do not intend to become a church member, to instill their child in Christ the Savior.
If you are invited to be a foster parent by parents who are not only not against baptizing a child, but are themselves ready to become members of the church community, then it is reasonable, before taking your own vows, to make your parents vow to fulfill the Commandments, to pray daily for their children, come to church with them, try to give them communion weekly. Ideally, it would be good to advise parents to go to Sunday school or catechesis classes: after a couple of classes it will be clear whether they are serious about spiritual life, or whether they view Baptism as a magical rite.
According to the ancient church rule, during the Baptism of infants, only one recipient was considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person (Great Trebnik, Chapter 5, “see”). The rule about “being one recipient at Baptism” belonged to the first centuries of Christianity and was strictly observed in the Eastern and Western Churches until the 9th century. In our time, the custom of having two godparents at Baptism has become widespread: the godfather and the godmother.
Only Orthodox successors or successors have ecclesiastical significance. Their names are remembered in prayers and included in certificates of Baptism. The recipient “represents the person of the person being baptized and makes vows to God for him, makes the Symbol, confesses and is obliged to instruct the adopted son in the faith and law of God, which neither an ignoramus in the faith nor a person of other faith can do” (Book on the Positions of Parish Presbyters, 80).
According to practice ancient Church Just as people of other faiths are never allowed to adopt children, so it is indecent for an Orthodox Christian to be the adopter of children from parents of other faiths, except in those cases when the children are baptized into the Orthodox faith. The canons of the Church also do not provide for such a case as participation at baptism as a recipient of a non-Orthodox person.
The insane, completely ignorant of the faith, as well as criminals, obvious sinners, and those who came to church while drunk cannot be recipients. For example, those who, due to negligence, did not attend confession and Holy Communion long time cannot give guidance and edification in life to their godchildren. Minors (under 14 years of age) cannot be recipients, since they are still incapable of teaching and are not firm in their understanding of the faith and power of the Sacrament (except in those cases when it is completely impossible to have an adult recipient).
The Ancient Russian Church did not know such a rule that would eliminate monks from succession. It is known that the godfathers of our Russian grand ducal and royal children were for the most part monks. Only later were monks prohibited from succession because it involves the monk in communication with the world (Nomocanon at the Great Trebnik). Parents cannot be recipients of their own children from the baptismal font. It is inconvenient for a woman who is in normal purification to be a recipient. In such cases, you can postpone Baptism or invite another recipient.
Church rules do not prohibit siblings, father and daughter, or mother and son from being the adoptive parents of the same baby. Currently, priests do not allow husband and wife to share the same child. To prevent violations existing rules Regarding the successors, the priest usually finds out in advance from the parents who they want to have as the successors for their children.

Our baby was already one year old when we decided to baptize her. For a long time they could not decide on godparents, because they had no idea by what criteria they should be chosen. Everything became clear after going to the priest’s church, where we were going to baptize Sonechka. Father Alexy suggested who can be godparents and who is not allowed, and I will tell you so you don’t waste time.

Baptism at any age marks spiritual birth and becomes the day when the guardianship of a Guardian Angel is established over a person. The thoughts and motives of the people taking part in the ceremony must be full of sincerity and purity, therefore the choice of godparents for the child must be conscious and combined with the rules of the Orthodox Church.

Who is suitable for the role of godparents?

Both real parents and godparents bear responsibility before God at the moment of baptism, so the important point is the sincere faith of the parents in Christ, supported by leading a full church life. They are the ones who give Orthodox vows in place of the child. Besides, God-parents must know the Creed and be ready to further engage in the spiritual education of the little man.
If it is possible to invite only one godfather, it is preferable to choose a person of the same gender as the child (for a boy - a man, for a girl - a woman), but no one forbids a woman to baptize a boy or a man a girl.
Pregnancy and the absence of a ring on the finger and a stamp in the passport give women the opportunity to become godmothers to both boys and girls.

Who is prohibited from being a godfather?

Believers who have fallen away from the Orthodox Church, representatives of other faiths, and atheists cannot become godparents.
Actually, the child’s parents, unlike other relatives, cannot take on the role of godparents.
Spouses and couples about to get married are prohibited from being godparents to one child.
Monks and nuns cannot become recipients. IN Ancient Rus' There was no such church rule, and they became godfathers of many princes and representatives of royal dynasties. Many years later, a rule appeared prohibiting this action, so that the monks would not become involved in worldly affairs.
People who have not reached adulthood still understand little, both in terms of life and spiritual knowledge. In addition, if the parents die, they will not be able to take responsibility for the baby.
People who have shrouded themselves in depravity.
It is better for women during menstruation to refrain from baptismal rites.
You should not take strangers or unfamiliar people as godparents.
Incapacitated people, people suffering from mental disorders, and obvious violators are not suitable for the role of recipients God's commandments, criminals and people under the influence of alcohol.

Any of these cases is considered sufficient grounds for refusal to carry out Epiphany rite. Of course, who can stop you from leaving something unsaid, but is it really worth it? After all, you go to church not to deceive the priest, but to connect the fate of your child with two worthy people.

How many babies can you become godfather for?

There is no clear guidance in this regard: the number of baptisms depends directly on the desire of the person. If you want, there will be one, if you want, at least ten. At the same time, we should not forget that the vows made before God are inviolable and provide for responsibility for the spiritual future and moral character of the little Christian. You will have to answer for your obligations throughout your entire life.

A church myth says: the godmother, making vows for the second child, “removes the cross” from the first. The Church categorically disagrees, citing the example of the birth of another child. A mother who has a second child does not abandon the first. The situation is similar with the godmother: being a godmother at least four times, she is equally responsible for each of the children. It is quite difficult to devote time to all the godchildren, so think about who can be the child’s godparents, whether the person has enough strength, energy and time, and only after that offer such a responsible post.

Some useful information about baptism

After the completion of the Epiphany Sacrament, it is impossible to make personnel changes: the child has the same godfather and godmother for life, even if the person has disappeared or left the church.
The presence of godparents at the church baptism procedure is mandatory. Extreme cases involve performing the Sacrament without godparents.

Let's sum it up

You should not choose a person for the role of godfather who has no idea about church traditions. His main duty is to teach the basics of religion to a little Christian, and what can someone teach who doesn’t know anything?

It is reckless to accept responsibility for raising a child in the traditions of the Orthodox faith, whose father and mother are unchurched and do not intend to change the order of things, also without attaching importance to the spiritual education of the child and teaching him the basics of religion.

Accepting an invitation to become godfather or godmother to a child whose parents support the idea Orthodox baptism your child and are ready to join the church, before making your own vows, you should make promises from them to follow the Commandments, pray for the child every day, attend services and churches, and try to make communion daily. Advise parents to attend Sunday school or cahetization classes in advance to understand how serious their desire to enter Orthodox Church, do they not consider the Sacrament of Baptism as a tradition of the past, some kind of magical rite.

Baptism is one of the important events in the life of an Orthodox person. It is believed that he receives some kind of pass into the Kingdom of God. This is the moment of a person’s spiritual birth, when his previous sins are forgiven and his soul is cleansed. Special attention One should pay attention to the choice of godparents for the child, since they have an influence on the spiritual life and salvation of the believer. That's why Godfather, whose duties and responsibilities include all of the above, must be worthy.

The role of a godfather in a child's life

Now let's take a closer look at what role the godfather plays in Orthodoxy, whose responsibilities include not only gifts for holidays. The most important thing he must do is to provide assistance in the spiritual life of his godson. So, let's look at the responsibilities in order:

Set a worthy example for him with your life. This means that in the presence of a godson you cannot drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or speak swear words. You need to be noble in your actions.
Prayers for your godson are obligatory, especially in difficult moments.
Visiting a temple with your child.
Spiritual education of the godson is mandatory (stories about God, teaching the Bible, etc.). If there are problems in life situations, then provide all possible assistance.
The responsibilities of the godfather also include financial support if necessary (if the parents a difficult situation with money or work).

What do you need to know to choose godparents?

So, how to choose a godfather or godfather? What should you be guided by? Firstly, you should know that in the spiritual life of a child, the most important thing is a godfather of the same sex (for a boy - a godfather, for a girl - a godmother). However, according to established tradition, two are chosen as godfathers.

Of course, the decision about who will be the child’s spiritual educator throughout his life is made at the family council. If there are any difficulties when choosing, then consult with your priest or spiritual father. He will probably suggest a suitable candidate, because this is quite an honorable duty.

It is very important that godparents do not get lost in life, that they continue to spiritually care for the child throughout his life. Both the godmother and the godfather, whose duties and functions are described above, have their own responsibilities before the Lord.

Based on all this, Christians who are over fourteen years old are suitable for the role of spiritual parents. They take responsibility for the future spiritual life of the child, praying for him, and then teaching him to live in the Lord.

Who can't be a godfather?

When choosing a godfather or mother, you need to know who cannot be for your child:

Those who are going to become spouses in the future or are already such in the present.
Parents of the baby.
Those who accepted monasticism.
Unbaptized people or non-believers in the Lord.
Can't be taken in people's godparents who have mental illness.
Those who profess a different faith.

All of this should be taken into account before a godfather is chosen. His responsibilities are quite extensive, so the person who agreed to be him must be clearly aware of everything.

Necessary items for the ceremony

You should talk in more detail about what items are needed for this ritual:

Kryzhma. This is a special towel on which a cross is embroidered or simply depicted. A child is wrapped in it during anointing, as well as when prayers of prohibition are read. Sometimes the baby's name and the date of his baptism are embroidered on such a towel.
Baptismal swaddling cloth. It's not really required attribute, but should be when it's cold. This diaper is used to wipe the baby after dipping into the font, and then wrap it again in the kryzhma.
Clothes for baptism. This could be a christening set (dress) for a girl or a special shirt for a boy. It is advisable that these clothes be purchased as a gift by the baby’s successor.
It is necessary to have a pectoral cross with you for a future Christian. Usually it is acquired by the godfather. Responsibilities at baptism for him, of course, are not limited only to this acquisition, but they will be written about them below.
It is necessary to take with you an envelope for the baby's cut hair.
You should also purchase icons for the child and make a donation to the temple (this is an optional condition).

Is there any special preparation for recipients before the ceremony?

You should also pay attention to preparing for christening. The most the right step there will be an appeal to a confessor or priest for advice. However, you should know that usually before the sacrament it is necessary to confess and receive communion. Before this, you need to fast (the priest should tell you about the number of days). You may need additional actions, such as reading prayers, spiritual literature, etc. It is also advisable not to attend noisy parties, various entertainment venues, or watch TV at this time. All free time It is advisable to devote time to prayer.

If this is your first time in the role of godfather, then it is advisable to familiarize yourself with how the sacrament is performed, what prayers are read, and what the order of chants is. This is necessary because when you become a spiritual educator of a little person, you need more than just a formal presence. Required sincere prayer, which should not stop even after the completion of the sacrament, because this is the essence of becoming a godparent.

More details about what responsibilities the godfather has during this ritual will be discussed below.

Present

Considering the question of the duties of a godfather at a christening, it should be said that on this day it is customary to give gifts, both to the baby and to the godfather. If desired, you can give a gift to your parents.

It is appropriate for a child to give both an educational toy and something more important for spiritual life, such as a Bible for children with pictures. By the way, the gift can be discussed in advance with the parents, because something else may turn out to be more important at this moment.

There is one main gift that his godfather must give the baby. The responsibilities during baptism are not only to hold the baby, but also to show the first example of honoring the Lord. After all, children understand everything from birth at the level of feelings. In addition to reading prayers, such a gift is a pectoral cross, which is baptismal. It must be bought and presented by the recipient.

For parents, especially for the baby’s mother, a prayer book containing the necessary prayers for the whole family would be a good gift.

How were christenings celebrated in ancient times?

Previously, as now, christenings were a very significant event in people's lives. This sacrament was necessarily performed no later than two months after the baby was born, and sometimes earlier, on the eighth day. This happened because there used to be a high infant mortality rate, so it was very important for loved ones to baptize the child before the irreparable happened, so that his soul would go to heaven.

The celebration of the little man's joining the church was celebrated with a large number of guests. This was especially noticeable in large villages. Many people gathered for such a holiday, who came with gifts and Best wishes baby. At the same time, they brought mainly various pastries - kulebyaki, pies, pretzels. In the house where he lived little man, a sumptuous table was laid for the guests, and there was practically no alcohol (there could only be red wine in very small quantities).

There were traditional holiday dishes. For example, a rooster baked in porridge for a boy or a chicken for a girl. There were also a lot of shaped baked goods, which symbolized wealth, fertility, and longevity.

It was customary to invite the midwife to the table, who would receive the baby. They could also call the priest who performed the baptismal ceremony. During the celebration, numerous songs were sung, thus wishing the child all the best. They saw off all the guests, presenting each with sweets.

How is baptism performed? Responsibilities of a Godfather

Now let's look at how the ceremony itself takes place, what should be done at this time and what responsibilities each of those present has. In our time, this sacrament usually occurs on the fortieth day after birth. Parents or future godparents must go to the chosen temple in advance and sign up for the chosen date, as well as agree on the process itself. After all, you can hold individual christenings or general ones.

The responsibilities of the godfather during the baptism of a girl are the same, and that of a boy are different (although they differ slightly). If the child is not yet a year old and cannot stand on his own, then he is held in his arms all the time. For the first half of the ceremony (before immersion in the font), boys are held by their godmothers, and girls by their fathers. After the dive, everything changes. Since the main thing for a boy is the father, it is he who accepts the child, and the mother accepts the girl. And this continues until the end of the ceremony.

The service itself lasts about forty minutes (more time is required if there are many people). It begins after the celebration of the liturgy. The performance of the sacrament begins with the laying on of hands on the person being baptized and the recitation of a special prayer. After this, you should renounce Satan and his works. Adults are responsible for a child who cannot speak.

The next step in the ritual will be the consecration of the water in the font. Before immersing the person being baptized into it, he should be anointed with oil (back, chest, ears, forehead, legs and arms.) Only after this does immersion into the font occur. The priest reads prayers. This action symbolizes dying to the world and resurrecting to the Lord. This is how a kind of cleansing occurs.

Then the child is handed over to the godfather, he is wrapped in kryzhma (as mentioned above, the boy is handed over to the father, and the girl to the mother). Now the baby is anointed with myrrh.

So, now you know the responsibilities of a godfather when baptizing a boy and a girl. As you can see, they are slightly different.

Baptism at home

In addition to baptism in the temple, it would not be reprehensible to perform this sacrament at home, with your family. However, it is better to do it in the right place. This is based on the fact that after baptism, boys must be brought into the altar (girls simply venerate the icons).

After the ceremony is completed, the little man becomes a full member of the church. This can be felt most strongly only in the temple. Therefore, home christenings are possible only if the baby is unable to withstand the ceremony in church. They are also committed when the child is in mortal danger (illness, etc.). If the whole sacrament takes place in a home environment, then the godfather has the same responsibilities for baptism as if the ceremony was performed in a church.

Church life of new Christians

You should know that after baptism, a person’s spiritual life just begins. The first acquaintance with church rules begins with the prayer of one’s own mother and godmother. This is how, invisibly, the word of God is instilled in the baby. And in the future, when he sees everything for himself, you can slowly introduce him to family prayer, explaining its value.

Special mention should be made about baptismal accessories. Kryzhma and special clothing (if you purchased it) should be stored separately and not used in everyday life. A christening shirt (dress) can be worn when a child is ill (or simply wrapped in it). The icon that was used during the sacrament should be placed near the baby’s crib or on the home iconostasis (if there is one). The candle is used on special occasions and is also kept for life.

The responsibilities of a godfather at baptism are just beginning. In the future, when the child grows up, he will need to go to church with him, take communion and attend services. Of course, this can be done with parents, but it is better if it is a godfather. By the way, you need to take your child to church from an early age. It is there, in the bosom of the church, that he will be able to realize all the greatness of God. If he doesn’t understand something, you need to patiently explain the difficult moments.

This is how addiction occurs and has a beneficial effect on the human soul. Church chants and prayers calm and strengthen. During growing up there may be difficult questions. If godparents or parents cannot answer them, then it is better to turn to the priest.

Conclusion

So now you know what the responsibilities of a godfather are. They need to be taken seriously from the very beginning, as soon as such an offer is made to you. If necessary, consult with the priest about what you should do for your child, how to educate him in the spiritual life and what support to provide. Be careful, because from now on you and your godson are spiritually connected forever. You will also be responsible for his sins, so upbringing should be treated with special importance. By the way, if you are not confident in your abilities, then it is better to refuse this.

Baptism is the most significant event in the life of every Orthodox person. And of course, you need to take a responsible approach to choosing godparents. After all, they are second parents and play important role In human life. There are many superstitions about godparents. And many people wonder: who can be a godfather and who cannot. Let's try to answer the most frequently asked questions on this topic.

Can children be godparents?

According to church rules, children from the age of seven already bear full responsibility for their actions. They are no longer allowed to take communion without confession. Therefore, if a child is sufficiently churched, he can become a godfather. But, choosing in godparents of the child, think carefully. Godmother or the father should raise his godson in Orthodox faith, and the child himself is just learning the basics of Orthodoxy. Still, it is better to choose an adult, accomplished person as godparents. After all, if something happens to the child’s blood parents, the minor will not be able to take responsibility for the godson. If you nevertheless decide to take a minor as godparents, it is better that this is a child who has reached the age of 15.

Can there be one godfather?

There are situations when a christening has already been scheduled, an agreement has been made with the priest and guests have been invited, but one of the godparents cannot attend the baptism. Or you couldn’t find a second receiver at all. What to do in such a situation? The Church allows baptism with one godparent. The second one can be recorded in absentia on the baptismal certificate. But there is one here important point. When a girl is baptized, a godmother must be present, and for a male infant, a godfather must be present. During the sacrament, the godfather (of the same sex as the child) will pronounce on behalf of the baby a vow of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ, as well as the Creed.

Can a sister be a godmother?

If the sister is a believer, Orthodox man, she can become a godmother. But it is desirable that the godmother is already quite an adult, because she will have to bear responsibility not only for herself, but also for her godson. Many who have adult sisters take them as godparents. After all, no one will take care of his godson as much as dear person.

Can an ex-husband be a godfather?

It's more of a moral issue. If you have excellent friendly relations with your ex-husband, and he is not the natural father of your child, he can become a godfather. But if your ex-husband the natural father of the child, then he cannot be the adopter, since natural parents cannot be the adopter of their child. Well, again, the godfather becomes practically a relative, so discuss with your current husband whether he will be against your such a close relationship with your ex-husband.

Can the godfather's wife be a godmother?

The godfather's wife cannot be a foster child if we are talking about the same baby, since the church prohibits spouses from being foster children of the same child. During the sacrament, they acquire a spiritual connection, which means that there cannot be an intimate relationship between them.

Can a brother be a godfather?

A sibling or cousin can become a godfather. The Church does not prohibit close relatives from being godparents. The only exceptions are the child's parents. Grandmothers, brothers, aunts and uncles can be godparents. The main thing is that these people are Orthodox, baptized, and take a responsible approach to fulfilling the duties of godparents. That is, to teach a child the basics of Orthodoxy and raise him to be a believer, an honest and decent person.

Can husband and wife be godparents?

During the baptismal ceremony, a woman and a man become spiritual relatives, which means they cannot be married. Because marriage implies physical intimacy, which cannot exist between spiritual parents.

If the godmother and godfather are spouses, they are prohibited from participating in the sacrament of baptism of one child. Moreover, a man and woman cannot baptize the same child if they are just planning to get married. If they do become godparents of one baby, they will have to give up close relationships in favor of raising a godson.

A husband and wife can baptize children from the same family. A man can become the godfather of one child, and the wife can become the godmother of another baby.

If a husband and wife unknowingly become the adoptive parents of one child, the spouses need to contact to the ruling bishop. As a rule, there are two ways out of this situation: recognition of the marriage as invalid, or the spouses will be given penance for a sin committed out of ignorance.

Who definitely cannot be a receiver?

Before choosing godparents for your baby, you need to know whom the church clearly prohibits from taking as godparents:

- the child’s blood parents;

- spouses;

- not baptized and atheists;

- people of other religions;

- monks;

- mentally retarded people;

- sectarians.

Choosing godparents is a very important point. And here you need to be guided primarily by the interests of the child, and not by your own. Often, best friends or “necessary” people are chosen as godparents, without really delving into how much the person belongs to the church.

If you want your child to be raised in the Orthodox faith, choose only believers who know prayers and regularly attend church services. If people do not visit the temple and believe, as they say from time to time, then great doubt arises about their serious attitude to the sacrament and their duties.

It often happens that people's paths diverge, and the godfather cannot take part in raising the godson. But he is still responsible for this child, so the recipient must pray for his godson or goddaughter all his life.

Many people think that choosing godparents for their baby is very simple, but it seems so only at first glance. In fact, everything is not like that. You need to understand that godparents must be responsible for their godson before God. They are responsible for his morality and spiritual education. Godparents are not only Good friends, relatives or financially well-off acquaintances - these are the people whom you trust to raise your child, these are the people who can gain authority from the child, and can become for him good example, spiritual parents. Godparents are the people you can always rely on in difficult times.

The sacrament of baptism is very important in a person’s life. important place, since this is the second birth of a person, his spiritual birth. In the sacrament of baptism, godparents are entrusted with a very great responsibility, responsibility for the spiritual education of their godson (adopter). For this reason, when choosing godparents, one must be guided by the fact that these people are believers and have high moral qualities.

Godparents for a child cannot be:

Parents of the child himself, as well as people who are related to each other by blood;
Nuns and monks;
Non-believers;
Gentiles, and not only non-Christians, but also heterodox;
Minors (girls under 13 years of age, and boys under 15).
Persons who are married or persons who are going to get married, since in the future the godparents of one child cannot have intimate relationships with each other, because they are spiritually related.
Mentally ill people and people who have fallen morally.
Another popular sign is that the godson and godfather should not have the same name.

Who should be godfather?

The godparent must be an Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be someone who has fallen away from the Church (who does not regularly receive communion), a representative of another religion, or an atheist. The recipient is required not only to know the Creed and read it at Baptism, but also to provide spiritual education for the godson in the future and daily prayer for him.
The godfather must be a churchgoer, ready to regularly take his godson to church and raise him in the Christian faith.
The rite of the Sacrament of Baptism assumes the presence of recipients in person during its celebration. As a last resort, infant baptism is allowed even without godparents, then the priest himself is considered godfather.
You must be absolutely confident in your godparents, because there are often cases when, during the baptismal ceremony, other people’s illnesses and misfortunes were transferred to the child.

Who should you look at to choose godparents?

To decide on the choice of adopters for your baby, it is better to think about one of your very close friends, those who will truly care about the child. Very often, the child’s uncles and aunts, not only relatives, but also cousins, become godparents.

It is very important that future godparents attend church. The sedateness and seriousness of future recipients is no less important, because they will be the child’s spiritual educators, and therefore must serve as an example to them in everything.

There is an opinion that it is impossible to refuse the cross, so there is no need to ask potential godparents directly, but slightly hint at the desire to become godfathers.