Do they remember it on their birthday? Days of special remembrance of the dead

Once in every person's life there comes a time when one of his acquaintances, loved ones or relatives goes to his deceased forefathers. The remains of a deceased person are most often buried in the ground, where they will remain in the future. However, love for does not dry out, so in certain days a funeral service is held for the deceased. In order to avoid unwanted mistakes, it is very important to know how to remember the deceased, on what days this is done and, of course, how the commemoration takes place.

There are three main periods for commemoration after the death of a person. The first time prayers occur on the third day, the second time they are commemorated on the ninth day, and for the third time they pray for the deceased at the onset of the fortieth day. The countdown starts from the day of a person’s death, and not from the day of burial. Wake in set days are a sacred custom that has been preserved since ancient times.

Basic mistakes and rules

Funerals, like any other custom, have their own rules established over the years. They must certainly be observed so as not to inadvertently disturb or offend the soul of the deceased. But before you find out what rules exist for remembering the dead, it’s worth learning about the erroneous actions that many take at funerals. Common mistakes can be related to items such as:

So, how to properly remember deceased relatives.

As mentioned earlier, there are three special periods when commemorations are held, not counting the day of the funeral:

After forty days, the deceased is considered to be ever-memorable, that is, the one who must be remembered, where “ever-memorable” means “always.” You shouldn’t forget about your deceased relative or loved one after death..

What is a memorial service

During life, you can show love to your loved ones by hugging and kissing them.. But if a person goes to another world, then you can only show your feelings for him with the help of a memorial service. They are held in the church, as a rule, immediately after the end of the morning service. You can find out how much the funeral service will cost when you visit the temple.

To hold a memorial service, you need to buy bread or something baked, but in no case should it be sweet, and you can also buy fruit. These products are considered basic, but other types can be added, depending on financial capabilities. As a rule, on this day it is customary to carry flour, various cereals and butter plant origin. Under no circumstances should you take alcohol or sweets with you..

A note with the names of all deceased relatives, written in advance, is added to the products. You can take the form directly from the church to fill it out correctly. Everything prepared for the funeral service is placed on a special table. During the funeral service, it is desirable to have the presence of someone who calls out in prayer to the saints. The total duration of the sacred action is about fifteen minutes. Believers say that at this time the soul stands next to its relative and prays for him in the same way as he does.

There are memorial services that are especially significant for deceased souls; their effect is 10 times stronger than a regular service. They take place on a special day of remembrance of the dead, which falls on parental and memorial Saturdays. You can find out when they happen and how many there are in a year in the church itself or in a special church calendar, where they are usually marked with a black cross. As a rule, most of them occur during Lent.

The soul of a deceased person awaits a relative in the temple and rejoices if he comes. Otherwise, she becomes very sad and feels empty. The day before, on Friday evening, a parastasis is celebrated in the name of the deceased.

In addition to Saturdays, commemoration of the dead in Orthodoxy occurs on Radonitsa, which follows the ninth day after the celebration of Easter. It is at this time that souls wait for their relatives near the graves or in the church; sometimes they come to the apartment where they lived before death. On this day, it is necessary to intensively remember them, as well as order a memorial service and give alms to those in need. If the birthday of the deceased falls on Radonitsa, then there is nothing wrong with arranging a wake. There are no prohibitions for the memory of loved ones who have left this mortal coil.

The church charter says

We must not forget about our loved ones who have gone to God.. According to the charter of the Orthodox Church, commemoration of the deceased occurs six months after the date of death, and even after a year. The anniversary of death is considered the second birth of the soul and new life in the Heavenly Kingdom. Special attention it is necessary to pay attention to commemoration before Trinity Saturday; When the next commemoration of the deceased is made, a candle is placed in the church for the repose of the soul in the place reserved for the deceased in one of the hollow candlesticks, and a memorial service is also ordered. But under no circumstances, even many years after the date of death, should you bring alcohol or sweets. There is no need to anger God and torment the soul of the deceased.

According to the church charter, for the grace of the soul of the deceased, immediately after his death, a magpie must be ordered in the church, which will be read for forty days. At the monastery you can order a prayer service for the repose, which the ministers will do for several months. Another important point, which must be observed - if a person was unbaptized during his lifetime, then he cannot be remembered in church services. You can only pray for the blessing of his soul at home before the face of the saint, whose name the deceased servant of God was named.

If for some reason it is not possible to celebrate a funeral on the day of death loved one, then this can be done at any other time, even if it is much later than the date of death, with the exception of those days when commemorating the dead is prohibited. You should not hold a funeral according to church rules during:

• Easter.
• Holy Week.

On these days, under no circumstances should a funeral be celebrated; in this way, the deceased soul can be disturbed, as a result of which it will suffer and languish.

You can often hear that you cannot remember the dead on Monday. In fact, this is not prohibited by the church charter. This opinion is connected exclusively with the opinion of people that Monday is a hard day, and nothing can be started on this day, which means that funeral services can be held on this day of the week.

After the death of a person, relatives and friends of the deceased keep his memory. Coming to the grave is one of the obligatory rituals. As a rule, it is combined with important church holidays, as well as when there is a need for care and cleaning of the burial site. Is it possible to visit a cemetery on the birthday of the deceased and how to behave on this day?

Opinion of the Christian Church

The clergy do not interfere with the desire of the relatives of the deceased to visit the cemetery on the birthday of the deceased person. It is good to combine such visits with ordering a funeral service and giving alms. Remembrance in the world means flowers on the grave, candles. At the same time, it is important to maintain a sense of proportion. Ordering ritual wreaths in bulk and organizing lavish feasts at the grave is not only not necessary, but also undesirable.

The main thing, according to the clergy, is to come to the cemetery on this day with prayer and be full of good intentions. It is also undesirable to cry when visiting a resting place - in this case, the soul will suffer and will not find peace. There are no restrictions on the time of visit to the cemetery - you can come and stay at the grave at any time of the day and for any period of time.

How to remember the deceased on his birthday?

The Christian Church does not accept this day as special. After death it loses its meaning. Therefore, there is no need to attach any special significance to the day. Everything that a loved one of the deceased does on this day can be done on any other day.

What can you do on this day?

• perform a memorial service in the Temple;
• make a common prayer rule at the grave;
• give alms.

Upon returning home, you can traditionally treat your relatives and neighbors with sweets and funeral food. This will help you remember the deceased and pray for his soul.

What is undesirable to do on this day?

• arrange a lavish funeral;
• drink alcoholic beverages;
• bring food to the grave and treat yourself there;

You can also remember the deceased at home and in church, and time a visit to the burial site on any other day. If it is impossible to come to the grave for the deceased, they pray at the location. Church services and memorials can also be held regardless of the distance to the person’s final resting place.

The question of why one should not go to a cemetery on the birthday of the deceased interests both superstitious people and realists. After a person dies, the relatives of the deceased do not forget about him, preserving the eternal memory of his soul. A visit to the cemetery is a must. Usually, this is done on Radunitsa or when it is necessary to clean up and restore order at the burial site. Is it possible to come to the grave on the birthday of the deceased and how should one behave on such a date?

What does the church think about this?

Church ministers do not prohibit close people of the deceased from going to the cemetery on his birthday. It is correct to combine these types of visits with an order. church service for the repose, or it is necessary to give alms. The commemoration that the church allows is flower arrangements at the tombstone, candles. The most important thing is to know a sense of proportion. Purchase wreaths from an agency in large quantities, holding large-scale celebrations at the grave of the deceased is not only prohibited, but also prohibited.

The main thing, as church ministers say:

• visit the grave;
• pray;
• harbor exclusively good thoughts.

It is better not to shed tears or get upset when visiting the burial site, otherwise the soul of the deceased will begin to worry. There are no prohibitions on visiting the cemetery. You are allowed to come and sit at the grave whenever it is convenient, but you can stay in the cemetery as long as you want. But there is one point. You cannot celebrate the birthday of the deceased! This date simply does not exist after death, so it is not celebrated.

Church officials do not consider the birthday of the deceased to be anything special. After death it loses its meaning. Therefore, you should not think about this issue. Whatever the relative of the deceased spends on this day is always permitted.

What is possible?

We figured out that you can visit the grave on the date of birth of the deceased, if you do not perceive it as a holiday. There are a few simple actions which are not prohibited. Human can:

• conduct a church memorial service;
• execute common prayer at the gravestone;
• restore order at the burial site;
• mentally communicate with the deceased;
• give to the poor begging.

When a person returns home from the cemetery, as is customary, it is allowed to treat those present delicious dishes. This will help remember the deceased, read a prayer for his reassurance.

What's not allowed?

Experts give some advice on how to behave at the grave of the deceased. Prohibited:

1. It's great to celebrate.
2. Drink alcohol.
3. Leaving food at a gravestone or taking something from a grave.

To adhere to the rules, you are allowed to remember the deceased at home and in church, and you can visit the cemetery, but without gatherings, noise or alcohol. If it is difficult for a person to visit a cemetery, then it is necessary to pray at the location. Attendance at funerals and services is permitted regardless of the territory of the cemetery where a loved one rests.

Should we celebrate?

You can visit the grave of the deceased on his birthday. But there are also rules of conduct in the cemetery:

• You cannot wear bright clothes;
• you need to come in the first half of the day;
• avoid swearing, loud crying, laughter;
• It is forbidden to spit and litter;
• You need to leave without looking back, you can’t come back.

People of the past generation, despite the fact that they did not have literacy, compared with today's average person, read the traditions of Orthodoxy much more correctly and knew more about life than young people. They treated the dead, friends, and relatives in a special way. Once upon a time, no one took food to the grave. This date was not celebrated. And this is due to the fact that previously people believed that after the death of a deceased person there was no birthday, when the soul was in the body of the deceased. When she goes to heaven, the date of her death is immediately transformed into the date of birth.

Each of us, sooner or later, is faced with the death of people close to him, whose departure to another world can be different: due to long illness, car accident, murder, accident and even suicide. Death is inevitable for all of us. However, there is no need to become depressed when you learn of the death of a loved one. The only thing we can do is help him correctly transition to another world. Most of what we know or hear from someone about the remembrance of the dead is a lie or a distorted truth. In order to understand this difficult issue, let us turn to the teachings of the Orthodox faith.

Many people ask the following questions: “How to remember the dead?”, “How to remember the deceased?”, “How do they remember?” All questions have the same meaning. And the answer is in this article.

Many people associate the phrase “commemoration of the dead” with the distribution of sweets, the pouring of alcoholic drinks at the funeral table, and with visiting a church in which it is necessary to light a candle for the deceased. This is a fallacy with shades of truth.

Before we talk about the correctness of commemorating the deceased, let’s start with how to properly bury the deceased. Usually people who do not go to church and do not know the norms of funerals arrange funerals according to pagan canons, without even knowing it themselves. “They still bury it this way, so it’s the way it’s supposed to be,” many argue.

The first common misconception are wreaths. The fact is that during the reign of the kings, no one knew about wreaths; people brought only fresh flowers to funerals. Wreaths appeared after the arrival of the godless Soviet regime. When one young man named Andrei visited the next world during clinical death (see the film “Visiting Eternity”), he was especially shocked by what he saw in hell: many people were hanging on wreaths. The wreaths in this case were like a noose around the neck. The angels explained to him: “When relatives, even with great love choose wreaths and place them on the grave, they themselves do not even suspect that by these actions they are dooming their deceased loved one to unbearable suffering. The more wreaths, the more loops around the neck of the soul of the deceased in the next world.”

Second misconception - This funeral table with alcohol. Know: the more alcohol (especially vodka) is drunk, the more detrimental it is to the soul of the deceased. In Orthodoxy there is an expression: “Whoever remembers with alcohol wishes eternal torment for the deceased.” The best thing for the deceased is to donate food for homeless and low-income people, invite people close to you to your home and treat them, but without alcohol.

Third misconception - these are sweets. For some reason, many people think that after the death of the deceased it is necessary to distribute sweets and cookies to neighbors. Sweets will not make the deceased worse, unlike alcohol, but it will also be better. “Why not sweets, because everyone does it?” - you ask. The fact is that sweets, like alcohol, are products of gluttony. And if you give sweets for a deceased relative, then you are pushing people into this sin of gluttony.

The best thing is to sit down with your relatives at the table, treat them to hearty food, and remember all those good qualities character possessed by the deceased. And also distribute food to neighbors and passersby. Ideal option will be if you give to the exact person who needs food due to financial problems. It will be like your alms for the deceased.

The fourth misconception - funeral music. Surely you have heard funeral music that immediately gave you goosebumps and made you want to close your ears so as not to hear it. However, some resort to the services of funeral bands. Perspicacious saints who could see what they could not to an ordinary person, claimed that demons flock to the funeral music and begin to dance joyfully. This explains that by ordering an orchestra for a funeral, we do not say goodbye to grief with a loved one, but only please the demons by arranging a disco for them.

“So how to properly lead a person to the next world?”, - you ask. Everything is much simpler than it seems. In commemorating the dead, one must rely on the Bible and the teachings of the saints. IN Orthodox churches books are sold with detailed description about how to bury and remember your loved ones. This article is based on Orthodox rules about commemoration (especially for those who do not have the opportunity to buy such literature).

When a person dies, for the first three days his soul is on Earth and walks where it wants. Most often, the soul of the deceased is next to his body. During this period, relatives need to be especially attentive to their feelings and thoughts, because it is through thoughts that the soul of the deceased can communicate with us. It happens that suddenly we begin to experience some emotions, it is we who begin to feel what the deceased is feeling now. The same goes for thoughts. Be extremely attentive to every thought that comes to you.

Then the soul of the deceased must go to God to bow, but in heaven it is met by demons who do not let the soul through and arrange for it ordeals for all sins. Many are stuck there due to childhood sins that they no longer remember. The fact is that until the age of seven, a person’s soul is sinless; these are infants. Starting from the age of 7, demons keep an account of each sin and write them down in their charters. During baptism, a person is given a guardian angel who protects him and records all his good deeds. After death, the soul of the deceased is judged according to these lists. In order to go through the ordeal, a person during earthly life must confess and receive communion, because at confession all sins are burned away. But! In order for all forgotten sins, in particular the sins of childhood, to be burned away, it is necessary to receive unction. Unction must be held once a year, you can go to confession at least every day. But to take communion no more than 8 times a year, since due to their sins people are not worthy to take communion more than 8 times a year. The exceptions are children under 7 years of age and pregnant women.

If you want the soul of a deceased person close to you to go through the ordeal without obstacles, then you need to read the Psalms for up to 40 days: every day 2-5 Psalms, and there you read everything. After those Psalms where it is written: “Glory,” it is necessary to say: “Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. Lord, rest the soul of the servant of God (name), forgive him/her all voluntary and involuntary sins and grant him/her the Kingdom of Heaven.” As you read the Psalms, the sins of the deceased fall away like leaves from trees.

After 40 days, the fate of the soul is decided: a place is determined for it - in heaven or hell. You can read more about hell.

If we love our loved ones, then during their lifetime we try to give them gifts, help them with something, hug them, kiss them, thereby showing our love. If a person we love dies, then we can show our love for him in one and only way - this is a memorial service. They take place every time after morning services. For the funeral service, you need to buy food in advance. Required: bread or something baked (but not sweet!) and fruit. The rest is up to your capabilities. Usually they bring flour, cereals, vegetable oil. Absolutely forbidden: alcohol and sweets. Also for the memorial service you need a note with the names of all those deceased for whom you want to pray. The note is not written in free form, there is a special form that is found in any church. Place the food on the table for funeral services, next to a note, or wherever you are told to do so. Food is your alms for your deceased. It is advisable for you to be present at the funeral service; it only lasts about 15 minutes. The fact is that during the funeral service, the souls of the dead come to the temple and stand next to us, at this moment the priest prays for them, and they for you.

There are also memorial services that are of great importance for the dead, because their power is 10 times stronger than ordinary memorial services. These are memorial services on parental Saturdays and memorial Saturdays. The word "parental" has nothing to do with parents. This is the name. There are several such Saturdays a year and every year different numbers. Find out when the next parent's or memorial Saturday will be - find out in church or buy church calendar, where such Saturdays are marked with a black cross and below there is a footnote about this Saturday.

They last not 15 minutes, but the entire service! The souls of the dead come to the temple on these special Saturdays and wait for us. If we come, they rejoice and pray for us. If we don't come, they experience great sadness and devastation.

There is also another special memorial day, it falls on Radonitsa, this happens once a year - on the ninth day after Easter. After Easter, many people remember the dead exactly a week later and call it differently: “seeing off”, “coffins”. In fact, the souls of the dead come to us precisely on Radonitsa; on this day they usually visit their graves, where they are waiting for us. If we do not have the opportunity to visit the cemetery on this day, then the souls of the dead are waiting for us in the church, and they also visit us in our apartments. On this day it is necessary to pray more intensely for them, attend a memorial service in the church and think about them, they really want this on this day.

It happens that a person suddenly died. For such a person it is necessary to read a special prayer on the occasion of sudden death.

For suicides You can only pray at home; they don’t pray for them in church. Nevertheless, God is merciful and has set aside one day a year for suicides when the church is allowed to pray for suicides: this is Memorial Saturday on the eve of Trinity. On this memorial Saturday, a memorial service is celebrated for all the dead, including suicides.

Know that prayer for a suicide is a feat. Ask the priest for a blessing for home prayers for suicides, confess, take communion and begin. If your health deteriorates sharply or your child gets sick, stop praying, otherwise it will get even worse.

Give the pigeons bread and seeds for the suicides. This is the safest action for your health.

If a person is killed, then the killer takes upon himself most of the sins of the person he killed. This means that the one who was killed will not answer for many of his sins; the murderer will answer for them, plus for the sin of murder.

To sum up what has been written, I will only say that only a few go to heaven, and crowds go to hell. This is scary. In order for us and our loved ones not to end up in hell, it is necessary to live according to God's commandments. Confessing, receiving communion and unction, it is also important to properly see off the deceased on his last journey, in order to help him escape hell with his prayers and the prayers of the church.

It happens that you can beg a person for up to 40 days, and sometimes a person is in hell for 50 years, and then his relatives still beg him. Our love multiplied by the power of prayer works wonders!

P.S. Answers to the most common questions:
1. Is it commemorated on your birthday? They remember both on your birthday and on your death! But you just need to commemorate it a little earlier: a day or two before this date.

2. Is it possible to remember earlier? It’s not even possible, but they only remember it earlier. Surely you have heard that the living can be congratulated later, but the deceased should be remembered and commemorated earlier? And it is not just words.

3. How to remember on day 9? The deceased are remembered earlier, i.e. The commemoration of the 9th day of death falls on the 8th. If you have not previously ordered a magpie of commemoration from the church, then be sure to order it, and also distribute alms to the poor and needy people: food, things. Alcohol and sweets are not allowed, everything else is allowed. Giving food to birds is also suitable as alms. They gave it and said: “Remember, Lord, the soul of the servant of God (name).”

4. How to remember 40 days correctly? If you carefully read this article, you noticed that before 40 days, relatives need to read all the Psalms. Also, before 40 days in the church it was necessary to order a magpie of commemoration, usually this is done before 9 days, so that it would be easier for the soul to go through ordeals for up to 40 days and so that it would not rush around and worry about the fact that everything is about it forgot. The fact is that if we do not come to church, do not pray there for the dead, do not serve magpies and memorial services, then the soul believes that it is being ignored and forgotten. Also, within 40 days, it is necessary to hold a memorial service in the church with the sealing of the land. To do this, you need to take a handful of earth from the grave of the deceased, just don’t bring it with it! Go straight to the temple! But you must notify the priest in advance that you want to submit a memorial service within 40 days. And be sure to take groceries. What is possible and what is not is written in this article above.

5. How to commemorate an anniversary? Like all memorial days, the anniversary is commemorated earlier: a day or two earlier. Be sure to attend the funeral service at the church. The intricacies of funeral services are written in this article above. Also distribute food to the poor, give bread or cereal to the birds on the street.

And don’t forget to pray for your dead at home. All this will greatly help your loved ones whom you love and want to help.

We will try to answer the question in detail: prayer on the birthday of a deceased person on the site: the site is for our dear readers.

The death of a loved one is a great grief. And it’s especially dramatic when this event coincides with his birthday, although this happens quite rarely. It happens that due to family or unforeseen life circumstances it is not possible to organize a memorial on the appointed day. Then people plan it for another date, but what if it accidentally coincides with the birthday of the deceased? In such cases, relatives and friends begin to wonder whether it is possible to remember the deceased on the day he was born, or whether it would be more correct to move the funeral to a day earlier or later.

What our ancestors did

Our ancestors spent years studying the laws of life and nature, and in many areas they understood more than modern progressive society. In those distant times, people were just as respectful of rituals and observed traditions, but, possessing important knowledge, they did not act as was usual for subsequent generations. For example, it was not customary to visit a cemetery and bring funeral food and related attributes (towels, candles) to the burial site. Also, memorial procedures were not held among the family in honor of the deceased person’s birthday.

One might consider this disrespectful and think that relatives forgot about such an important day, but this is due to the belief of that time, which states that the day of death is the new day of her birth. Since the soul has left the body forever, this particular date is considered worthy of commemoration. Death was considered the moment of rebirth of the soul in a new body, therefore the deceased was remembered on the day of his departure to another world. Commemorating the deceased on his birthday was considered a bad act, forcibly returning the deceased to past life, preventing him from being reborn again. This also has a bad effect on the mental state of the deceased’s relatives, who oppress themselves with sad thoughts and cannot let go of their loved one.

The opinion of the priests

This may come as news to those who are not familiar with the basic rules of Christianity, but Orthodox priests They consider funerals with lushly laid tables and the presence of alcoholic beverages to be pagan attributes preserved from ancient times. The soul of the deceased does not need food or alcohol, so such things do not have to be present at the remembrance procedure. The presence of simple worldly food on the table is not excluded: rice, honey, bread. But there is no place for alcoholic drinks where they are remembered with prayer and kind words deceased relative.

The main rule for the living is to remember the departed with prayer, to beg for the repose of their souls. Traditional memorial days The third, ninth and fortieth days are considered to be meals. The Orthodox Church does not prohibit commemorating the deceased on other days, including birthdays, but this should, first of all, be a prayerful remembrance.

It’s not scary if life circumstances develop in such a way that the memorial day falls on the day on which the deceased was born. If you have the desire and opportunity to pray and honor his memory, this should definitely be done.

Remembrance of the Dead

In all your deeds remember your end(Sir. 7:39).

Remembrance of the departed- a godly action of an intercessory nature, aimed at improving the lot of the deceased.

For a Christian, there is no death as disappearance or cessation of existence. Death is the completion of the earthly path, the cessation of suffering, a kind of boundary beyond which comes what he has been striving and striving for all his life. He who knew the truth and died in faith conquered death, together with the Risen Christ. The Church does not divide its members into the living and the dead; with Christ everyone is alive.

According to the teachings of the Holy Orthodox Church, all believers in the Lord Jesus Christ do not die, but live forever. “Whoever lives and believes in Me will never die” (John 11:26). Therefore, dying Orthodox Christians do not cease to be members of the Holy Church, maintaining prayerful communication with all its other children.

Love never dies

The fruit of any person’s life is only one thing - the love that he was able to show in his life. After the temporary separation of soul and body until the Last Judgment, the deceased can no longer do deeds of love, but his love can multiply through his loved ones in his memory.

Loved ones can be spiritually reborn, wanting to help the deceased, remember him at the Liturgy, pray for him, and do works of mercy in his memory.

Commemoration at the Divine Liturgy

“Whoever wants to show his love for the dead and give them real help Maybe the best way do this by praying for them and especially by giving a note to commemoration on Divine Liturgy . We cannot do anything better or more for them. They always need this...” (Archbishop John (Maksimovich)).

Love for deceased relatives places on us, now living, a sacred duty - to pray for the salvation of their souls. According to priest Nikolai Uspensky, “...by praying for deceased relatives, we provide them with the only good that their souls crave—pardon from the Lord.”

For prayers for the dead, a special day is appointed in the week - Saturday, on which a funeral service is held (except for holidays, if they happen on this day).

In addition to private commemorations of the deceased, the Holy Church established general commemorations. Days of special general remembrance of the dead are called parent's Saturdays. On these days, all Christians who have died since the ages are remembered. Why is it on Saturdays, and not on other days, that prayer for the repose of souls is supposed? Because the Sabbath day, as a day of rest, in its meaning is the most remarkable for prayer - to repose the dead with the saints. And they are called parental because every person remembers, first of all, the closest people - their parents. This:

– Meat-free universal parental Saturday the week before Great Lent;

– Trinity Ecumenical Parental Saturday before the Day of the Holy Trinity;

– Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Great Lent;

– Dimitrievskaya parental Saturday (a week before the holiday in memory of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki – Heavenly Patron Blessed Grand Duke Dmitry Donskoy); Radonitsa (Tuesday of the second week after Easter),

– May 9 is the day of remembrance of all those who died and tragically died during the Great Patriotic War.

The day before parenting days in the evening in temples they take place parastases- funeral all-night vigils, and after the liturgy there are ecumenical funeral services.

From ancient times there is a custom to perform for each deceased commemoration on the third, ninth and fortieth days upon his death, and also to perform Magpies. Sorokoust is a continuous commemoration for 40 days after death.

Also dedicated to the memory of the deceased annual death day, birthday and name day in the sense that the deceased is alive and immortal in spirit and will one day be completely renewed when the Lord raises up his body.

In addition to participating in funeral services, the Holy Church commands its children remember the departed and at home prayer. Here, each worshiper is given some freedom to demonstrate personal zeal. In addition to evening and morning prayers monks and laity read the commemoration book, performing a name-calling commemoration of the living and the dead. In addition, there is ancient custom read the psalter for the departed. At home prayer, with the blessing of the confessor, commemoration can also be made of those who cannot be remembered at church services - their relatives and friends who died outside the fence of the Orthodox Church - the unbaptized, heretics, etc. The Optina elders allowed even suicides to be remembered at home prayer.

In addition to praying for the departed, another act of remembering them is alms. Almsgiving means not only giving to the poor in memory of the deceased, but any kindness towards those in need.

Saint John Chrysostom said: “Luxurious burial is not love for the deceased, but vanity. If you want to sympathize with the deceased, I will show you another method of burial and teach you to lay out vestments, decorations worthy of him and glorifying him: this is alms.”

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How to celebrate the birthday of a deceased person in Orthodoxy

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Every person sooner or later loses a loved one. Unfortunately, this happens in every family. After experiencing grief, many begin to think about how to properly celebrate the funeral, on what days and what to do on the birthday of the deceased. We will try to understand this issue below.

When is the right time to remember the deceased?

As is known, according to Orthodox canons, it is customary to organize a wake (funeral meal) in honor of a deceased person. This ritual allows the loved ones and relatives of the deceased to perform a ritual in his honor in the name of his memory.

According to Orthodox traditions, a deceased person should be commemorated directly on the day of his funeral, 9 days later and on the 40th day. People also organize commemorations on the anniversary of death and on the birthday of the deceased.

Is the birthday of the deceased celebrated?

There are very rare cases when a person dies on the day of his birth. Sometimes it happens that relatives, for some reason, want to remember the deceased a day earlier, and this date coincidentally falls on his birthday. In such cases, many are lost and do not know whether it is possible to commemorate the deceased on the birthday.

It should be noted that our ancestors, despite the fact that in history it is believed that they were illiterate compared to modern man, revered Orthodox traditions much more correctly and knew much more sense in everyday matters than modern people. They treated the dead and dead especially.

In those days, no one ever carried a towel and funeral food to the cemetery on the birthday of the deceased. This day was not celebrated at all. And this was due to the fact that in the old days they preferred the opinion that after the death of a deceased person there was no birthday when the soul was in this body. As soon as the soul leaves the body, the date of death immediately becomes the date of its birth.

In general, in Orthodoxy it is believed that a person has three dates of birth:

• the first is the date of birth, when the person was born;
• the second is the date of baptism;
• the third is the date when the human soul departs to another world.

Therefore, after death you need to remember last date birth, that is, date of death. Remembering the soul on the date of birth of a person to earth, relatives involuntarily pull it into its previous existence, not giving the deceased peace. Therefore, the ancestors did not arrange such funeral meals.

How do I celebrate the birthday of the deceased in modern times?

In the modern world, Orthodox traditions allow commemoration of the date of birth of a deceased person. The Orthodox Church not only says that it is possible to spend this day in a cemetery, but to some extent it is necessary. It is especially good to give out alms at a cemetery on the birthday of a deceased person. Of course, it is not customary and not recommended to organize gatherings and drink alcohol at the grave of the deceased.

According to church ministers, such gatherings can only cause harm and great suffering to the soul of the deceased. You can bring dried or artificial flowers and a candle or lamp to the coffin. Try not to cry on this day, but go to the deceased with prayers and good intentions.

Many clergy believe that if you cry at the grave on this day, then you are disturbing the peace of the soul of the deceased. And she begins to suffer and suffer.

A modern view of going to the grave on the deceased’s birthday

Modern people are not very superstitious, so few people today will be interested in the question of what to do on the birthday of a deceased person. People are increasingly starting to go to church. On this day, as a rule, a memorial service is held so that the clergy pray for the peace of the soul of the deceased.

It is also recommended that you go with the priest to the grave of the deceased, so that he can honor the memory of the deceased there and read a prayer. Very often, after such a ceremony, relatives remain near the grave and express to their loved one all their bad weather, troubles and troubles. After which they come home and begin the funeral meal. In many countries, on this day it is customary to distribute treats in the form of sweets to relatives and neighbors so that they remember the deceased.

Going to the cemetery on the day when the deceased was born into the living world has today become a solid tradition accepted by the church. It is followed by many who are not superstitious. They also do not follow restrictions such as visiting a cemetery in winter period time or visiting after half a day and empty-handed.

In fact, this practice is not mandatory or enforced. After all, each person has the right to decide how to remember a loved one. Even if you can’t visit the cemetery on this day, there’s nothing to worry about. The main thing is that only good and positive memories remain about the deceased.

A visit to a cemetery is an opportunity to pay tribute to the deceased. If there is an opportunity and desire, then it should not be neglected.

Days of special remembrance of the dead.

The custom of remembering the dead is already found in the Old Testament church (Num. 20:29; Deut. 34:9; 1 Sam. 31:13; 2 Mac. 7:38-46; 12:45).

In the Christian Church, this custom is ancient, just as ancient is the very basis on which the remembrance of the dead is performed.

Death is the completion of the earthly path, the cessation of suffering, a kind of boundary beyond which comes what he has been striving and striving for all his life. He who knew the truth and died in faith conquered death, together with the Risen Christ. The Church does not divide its members into the living and the dead; with Christ everyone is alive.

Love for deceased relatives places on us, now living, a sacred duty - to pray for the salvation of their souls.

According to Christian tradition, funeral services for the deceased are held on the day of the funeral (the third day after death), on the ninth and fortieth days after death. Subsequently, commemorations are traditionally held every other year, as well as on the birthday, death day and name day of the deceased. These days it is customary to visit the grave of the deceased.

Everyone who was at the cemetery and helped with the funeral is traditionally invited to the wake on the day of the funeral. Therefore, as a rule, the wake on the third day is the most numerous. It is customary to invite only close friends and relatives of the deceased to the wake of the ninth day. The funeral meal on the fortieth day is similar to the wake on the day of the funeral. On the fortieth day, everyone comes who wants to remember the person who has passed away.

The funeral can be held either in the house of the deceased or in any other place. Commemoration on these days is sanctified by ancient church custom.

Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie in the church, so that during the first forty days the newly deceased is commemorated daily. Particularly celebrated are the third and ninth days, when, according to the teachings of the Church, the soul appears before the heavenly Throne, and the fortieth, when the Lord pronounces a temporary sentence, determining where the soul will be until the Last Judgment. These days you need to pray diligently for the deceased, and after these days you need to submit notes for the Liturgy and memorial service more often. A memorial service is a funeral service that can be performed both before and after burial.

Of particular power are the general commemorations of the deceased, which are performed on meat-free parental Saturday (a week before Lent), on Radonitsa (nine days after Easter), on the eve of Trinity and on Dimitrievskaya parental Saturday (Saturday before November 8). In addition, on three Saturdays in Great Lent (2nd, 3rd and 4th), the Ecumenical Church decided to commemorate all dead Christians together.

The dead cannot pray for themselves; they wait for our prayers. The soul needs them most of all during the first 40 days, while it is going through ordeals and undergoing private judgment. It is necessary to order a magpie in all possible churches - a commemoration for 40 days, serve it at a memorial service every day, commemorate it at the Psalter, give alms and ask to pray for this soul. Thus, by constantly remembering, with the help of the Church, you can pray your soul even from hell.

But commemoration in the Church provides special help to the deceased. Before visiting the cemetery, you should come to the church at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the names of your deceased relatives for commemoration at the altar (it is best if this is a commemoration at the proskomedia, when a piece is taken out of a special prosphora for the deceased, and then as a sign of washing away his sins will be lowered into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts). After the Liturgy, a memorial service must be celebrated. The memorial services that take place on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called ecumenical parental Saturdays.

A candle placed for the repose of a person “on the eve” is one of the indispensable types of remembrance. At the same time, it is necessary to offer prayers to the Lord for the departed: “Remember, Lord, the souls of Your departed servants (their names), and forgive them all their sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.” .

Kanun - a quadrangular table with marble or metal board, on which the cells for candles are located.

What you need to know about the memorial service

In addition to the daily commemoration of the deceased at daily services, the Church has established a number of funeral commemorations. Among them, the first place is occupied by the funeral service.

Memorial service - funeral service, service for the dead. The essence of the memorial service is the prayerful remembrance of our departed fathers and brothers, who, although they died faithful to Christ, did not completely renounce the weaknesses of the fallen. human nature and took their weaknesses and infirmities with them to the grave.

When performing a requiem service, the Holy Church focuses our attention on how the souls of the departed ascend from the earth to the Judgment to the Face of God and how with fear and trembling they stand at this Judgment and confess their deeds before the Lord.

“Rest in peace” is sung during the funeral service. The physical death of a person does not mean complete peace for the deceased. His soul may suffer, not find peace, it may be tormented by unrepentant sins and remorse. Therefore, we, the living, pray for the departed, asking God to give them peace and relief. The Church does not anticipate from the Lord the all-justice of the mystery of His Judgment over the souls of our deceased loved ones; it proclaims the fundamental law of this Court - Divine mercy - and encourages us to pray for the departed, giving complete freedom to our hearts to express themselves in prayerful sighs, to pour out in tears and petitions.

During the requiem and funeral service, all worshipers stand with lit candles, in commemoration of the fact that the soul of the deceased has passed from earth to the Kingdom of Heaven - into the Never-Evening Divine Light. According to established custom, candles are extinguished at the end of the canon, before singing “From the spirits of the righteous. "

Days of remembrance of the dead.

The third day. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day after death is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity.

For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying it through those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house in which the body is placed, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for a nest. A virtuous soul walks through those places in which it used to do the truth. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. Therefore, the church commemoration of the soul that appeared before the face of the Just One is very timely.

Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the King of Heaven and representatives to Him for us, petition for pardon for the deceased.

After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. She remains in this state for six days. During this time, the soul forgets the sorrow that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the pleasure of the saints she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Woe is me! How much I have become fussy in this world! I spent most I lived in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, so that I too might be worthy of this grace and glory. Alas for me, poor one!” On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. The soul stands before the throne of the Most High with fear and trembling. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to place the soul of her child with the saints.

Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparation and acceptance of the special Divine gift of the gracious help of the Heavenly Father. The Prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the deceased would ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the bliss promised to it and settle in the heavenly villages with the righteous.

After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place to stay until the Last Judgment. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They atone for the sins of the deceased and ask for his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.

Anniversary. The Church commemorates the deceased on the anniversary of their death. The basis for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all the fixed holidays are repeated again. The anniversary of the death of a loved one is always marked with at least a heartfelt remembrance by loving family and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.

UNIVERSAL MEMORIAL SERVICES (PARENTAL SATURDAYS)

In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, general, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers in faith who have passed away from time to time, who have been worthy of Christian death, as well as those who, having been caught by sudden death, were not given farewell afterlife prayers of the Church. The memorial services performed at this time, specified by the statutes of the Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. In the circle of the liturgical year, such days of general remembrance are:

Meat Saturday. Dedicating the Meat Week to the remembrance of the Last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, established to intercede not only for its living members, but also for all who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all generations, ranks and conditions, especially for those who died a sudden death , and prays to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the departed on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our deceased fathers and brothers and at the same time serves as an expression of the fullness of the church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - the community of believers, the members of which are not only those living, but also all those who have died in the faith. And communication with them through prayer, their prayerful remembrance is an expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.

Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all dead pious Christians was established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of human salvation, and the deceased also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending up prayers on Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the holiday that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were granted during their lifetime, would be a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul is given life.” " Therefore, the Church devotes the eve of the holiday, Saturday, to the remembrance of the departed and prayer for them. Saint Basil the Great, who composed the touching prayers of Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord especially on this day deigns to accept prayers for the dead and even for “those kept in hell.”

Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of the Holy Pentecost. On Holy Pentecost - the days of Great Lent, the feat of spirituality, the feat of repentance and charity to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace not only with the living, but also with the dead, to perform prayerful commemorations of those who have departed from this life on designated days. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are designated by the Church for the remembrance of the dead for another reason that on the weekdays of Great Lent no funeral commemorations are performed (this includes funeral litanies, litias, memorial services, commemorations of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days by death, magpies), since it doesn’t happen every day full liturgy, which is associated with the commemoration of the dead. In order not to deprive the dead of the saving intercession of the Church on the days of the Holy Pentecost, the indicated Saturdays are allocated.

Radonitsa. The basis for the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on the Tuesday after St. Thomas Week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, connected with St. Thomas Sunday, and, on the other hand, the permission of the church charter to perform the usual commemoration of the dead after Passion and Holy Week, starting from Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their relatives and friends with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence the day of remembrance itself is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).

Unfortunately, in Soviet time a custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of his loved ones after fervent prayer for their repose in the church - after a memorial service has been served in the church. During the same Easter week There are no funeral services, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for believers in the Resurrection of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the entire Easter week, funeral litanies are not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), and memorial services are not served.

Dimitrievskaya Parents' Saturday- on this day, commemoration is made of all Orthodox slain soldiers. It was established by the holy noble prince Dimitri Donskoy by inspiration and blessing St. Sergius Radonezh in 1380, when he won a glorious, famous victory over the Tatars on the Kulikovo Field. The commemoration takes place on the Saturday before Demetrius Day (October 26, old style). Subsequently, on this Saturday, Orthodox Christians began to commemorate not only the soldiers who laid down their lives on the battlefield for their faith and fatherland, but along with them, for all Orthodox Christians.

Commemoration of deceased soldiers is performed Orthodox Church April 26 (May 9, new style), the holiday of victory over Nazi Germany, as well as August 29, the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist.

It is imperative to remember the deceased on the day of his death, birth and name day. Days of remembrance must be spent decorously, reverently, in prayer, doing good to the poor and loved ones, in thinking about our death and future life.

The rules for submitting notes “On repose” are the same as for notes “On health”.

It is necessary to remember the deceased in the Church as often as possible, not only on designated special days commemoration, but also on any other day. The Church makes the main prayer for the repose of deceased Orthodox Christians at the Divine Liturgy, offering a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, you should submit notes with their names to the church before the start of the liturgy (or the night before) (only baptized Orthodox Christians can be entered). At the proskomedia, particles will be taken out of the prosphora for their repose, which at the end of the liturgy will be lowered into the holy chalice and washed with the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest benefit we can provide to those who are dear to us. This is how it is said about commemoration at the liturgy in the Message of the Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented even before separation from real life, only did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayer vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in actions of love for God and neighbors) - the souls of such people descend into hell and suffer punishment for the sins they have committed, without, however, losing hope for relief. They receive relief through the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and charity done for the dead, and especially through the power of bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the priest makes for every Christian for his loved ones, and in general the Catholic and Apostolic Church makes for everyone every day.”

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