New Year's statuses are funny, new and funny. Funny statuses about the New Year
You can attract attention to your person on social networks different ways. But there is an option that can definitely be considered a win-win. Setting cool and funny New Year statuses for Contact or Odnoklassniki, you will not only add likes and subscribers to yourself by congratulating the virtual community on the holiday in an original way, but also, most likely, you will find new interesting acquaintances.
Cool statuses for guys and men
Good Grandfather Frost, give me the first payment. Santa Claus, besides laughing, pay off my mortgage.
A New Year tree is better than any mistress. You change every year, you break up without a scandal. And she doesn’t demand her gifts back!
New Year- this is such an amazing time when you eat Olivier salad, tangerines, champagne and hopes that tomorrow morning this champagne and other alcoholic reserves will still remain.
It's time to stop with Olivier and tangerines. After all, what the excess cholesterol and sugar in fruits can do to people in just one night.
It’s a difficult task to prove to your children that you are the real Santa Claus and to convince your wife that you can’t even act as a fake.
Answer the question “What is good and what is bad?” It's difficult on New Year's Day. I did everything well: I went for a walk, I drank, I fell asleep under the Christmas tree—it’s bad the next day. And if January 1 is good, it means that the New Year was celebrated very badly.
Grandfather Frost, give me a carefree life for the New Year, universal adoration, the opportunity to lie on the couch and receive everything on demand. In short, turn me into a cat.
A man goes through three stages of attitude towards Santa Claus: you believe and wait; I don’t need a grandfather, I want the Snow Maiden; You yourself are Father Frost and you advise the Snow Maiden to roll up her lip.
New Year's to-do list: spend the Old Year; celebrate New Year; celebrate the Old New Year. It turns out to be some kind of vicious circle.
You need to prepare for the New Year in advance. Right on January 1st, put up the Christmas tree that was dropped yesterday and start rehearsing the holiday.
Every year on this day they ask me: “Why are you so sour, like the missing Olivier? Where is your New Year's mood? It’s time to understand that this is... Mine. !
Childhood is over - this is when on New Year's Day you and your friends begin to dance not around the Christmas tree, but around the toilet. Combined, damn the builders, bathroom!
Four stages of a man growing up: 1. You believe in Santa Claus. 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3. You are Santa Claus yourself. 4. Those who still believe in Santa Claus run up to you on the street, pull your beard and yell: “I knew you existed!
With the advent of the New Year, sellers of men's socks and shaving foam begin to rub their hands joyfully, while unfortunate guys rush around the city in search of “give me something, I don’t know what.”
New Year is a difficult time for a man. He is trying to convince his child that he is Santa Claus, and his wife that he is NOT Santa Claus.
I want to have almost everything in the New Year, as Anton Semenovich Shpak dreamed: three music centers, three fancy laptops, three latest model iPhones, a suede jacket... also three.
Someday Santa Claus will give me a toy railway, I will set the status to “happy” and never go online again.
The approach of the New Year is felt when on your computer desk mixed with beer mugs and glasses of unfinished tea, tangerine skins begin to appear here and there.
New Year's paradox: the treats and drinks on the table are always the same, but the adventures after them are different.
So many people are on , that we have met it before, and we will update it soon.
Funny New Year statuses for girls
Dear Grandfather Frost. Please make sure that in the coming year, my neighbors, who have a 24-hour love for music and repairs, suddenly have all their karaoke and rotary hammers broken.
Do you know why Father Frost and Santa Claus are men? Yes, because no woman will allow herself to appear in front of the public in the same outfit every holiday!
Today in my refrigerator there is “don’t eat, it’s for the New Year,” and tomorrow there will be “eat quickly, otherwise everything will go bad.”
I am for sharing responsibilities in the family! I will decorate the Christmas tree for the New Year, and you will decorate me!
A sign of our time: I set a funny status for the New Year - you will soon meet the man of your dreams, who will say that all his life he has been looking for a girl who does NOT believe in omens, but has a sense of humor.
If you want everything to be awesome for you in the New Year, on the night of January 1st, put an unwrapped chocolate bar under your pillow. Now you will definitely have everything covered in chocolate!
I tell my friend: “Darling, give me a New Year’s gift that will be memorable.” He answers: “Are sclerosis pills suitable?”...
I'll start the New Year's diet soon! I will give up sweets and switch to dry and semi-dry.
As a child, on New Year's Eve we waited for Santa Claus to come. And our children are waiting for mom and dad to finally go away for a visit.
I love New Year because I can take a break from the stove. First, a holiday dinner magically turns into a brunch, and then gradually turns into a long lunch.
Santa Claus, buy me a new iPhone, a tablet, a red Ferrari, a house in the Maldives... Oh, that's it. Buy me some money, in short, and then I’ll figure it out myself.
I told my husband that I would really like a fur coat for the New Year. Gave... Potatoes, carrots, onions, beets, herring.
Guys absolutely don't like gifts. The ultimate dream for them for the New Year is the Snow Maiden in a latex suit, and not the role of a generous Santa Claus with a bag.
I'll give it to good hands Santa Claus. The third day she sleeps under the Christmas tree, mistakes me for the Snow Maiden and demands to tell me where she has been. I don’t remember where I was, I was celebrating the New Year!
A Christmas tree was born in the forest, grew and grew. Oh, if only the Snow Maiden would bring me a boyfriend! And Santa Claus, so be it, let him give you a pretty Rat who grants wishes.
I sent out a commercial offer to everyone - Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Joulupukki. But no one wants to take my extra pounds and give them to those in need.
Grandfather Frost, you probably left on foot last time, because all year I came across only deer. I beg you, this time leave by cart.
Guys always get the best, not even the New Year. The Snow Maiden is young and beautiful, and Father Frost is old, with a beard and a red nose, which makes you think about his way of life.
The New Year is a new hope to change your life for the better without doing anything for it.
I got ready for the New Year, only fingerprints remained in my wallet...
Conduct old year, the main thing is not to sleep through the new one and live to see the old one!
Who will send the same New Year's greetings- ignore until the first of April!
Whoever comes to us with tangerines will die from Olvier salad
Cool Happy New Year statuses: The best gift for the New Year is meat!
In one night, people eat everything they prepared 15 days earlier.
Health in the body, love in bed, bucks in the briefcase - and no hassle! Happy New Year!
Hello Dedushka Moroz! Perhaps I misspelled the word Porsche last year...
Don’t rush to catch snowflakes with your mouth... What if not all the birds have flown south for the winter yet...
The New Year's mood is when you are happy to see even those who have entered the wrong door.
New Year's TV shows are the most best remedy to liquefy your brain!
Let everyone pour themselves a drink, drink with us and sing - New Year, New Year, New Year
No matter how much you give Santa Claus a drink, he still doesn’t forget the bag of gifts!
As you celebrate the New Year, this is how you should...
Making a snowman in Colombia will cost about 3 million dollars
First they say that “When you meet a New Year, you will spoil him!”, and then: “Oh, how can I stop eating at night?”
The holiday is coming to us, the money is leaving! Hello New Year, I'm now bankrupt!
The holiday is coming to us, the holiday is coming to us, the holiday is coming to us... Russian vodka!
A wave of photo sessions is approaching: Me and the Christmas tree. I'm under the tree. I'm behind the tree. Instead of a Christmas tree, it’s me too.
In connection with the onset of the New Year, mandarinization is taking place in the country.
IN Soviet times Santa Claus took the list of children who behaved badly to Stalin personally.
Here Santa Claus always walks around looking respectable, wearing glasses, sober, and our Santa Claus is always drunk, and even with a girl.
The best thing about the New Year holiday is the preparation for it. Anticipation of the holiday, getting ready, everything is beautiful on the table, but as soon as the clock strikes 12, salads begin to be scattered on the table, vodka is poured into the Olivier salad and clothes are soiled in the herring under the fur coat.
The most happy happiness- this is the first New Year with your loved one.
Cool Happy New Year statuses: This New Year will be the happiest for me. I decided so.
Eh, while you wait New Year's miracles- it’s easier to make things up yourself =))
Yesterday I rehearsed the New Year - I learned NEW table SONGS and TABLE dances...
Santa Claus is red, the Christmas tree is green. If it’s the other way around, it means you’ve already had enough.
Santa Claus spent a long time explaining to 12-year-old Misha that even though he had behaved well this year, he couldn’t do anything that would cause the chemist to die.
Father Frost! Make sure they don't tease me. Vova Kakashkin. 7 years.
In my house across the street on the 9th floor, either a Christmas tree has already been erected or hemp is being grown to the ceiling!
We have a tradition in our office: before the New Year, we hold a competition “Where the hell did we put the Christmas tree decorations?!”
Don't believe in good Santa Claus! Believe in the drunken Snow Maiden!
Hello Dedushka Moroz! I'll break your nose! Your gifts have already given me diarrhea for the fifth day...
I won’t say the banal “Happy New Year everyone.” I’ll be more original “Happy New Year everyone!”
I am not a supporter of drunkenness on New Year's Eve.. I am a victim of it!
First he made a snow girl, and then he made her a woman...
The anticipation of the New Year awakens the child in me... Like waking up in the morning as a child, I want to see a Christmas tree with gifts under it... I want to play snowballs and eat snow and not think about getting sick..
5 / 5 ( 2 voices)
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020 everyone: Real happiness, pure love, good health and success in everything!!!
Mandarin ducks are in use, which means New Year is coming soon
I want so much, like in childhood, to believe in New Year's tale, make a wish with the hope that it will come true and wait for a miracle on New Year’s Eve...
I wish everyone not to click through their happiness with the mouse in the coming New Year. People, let's communicate in real life, it's more interesting!
People, why are you so sad? Cool! December! Winter! Funny! New Years is soon!
New a year will pass to "Hurray"!!!
The year has changed on Earth! The country is falling into the Olivier
Nothing liquefies the brain like New Year's television.
Promotion! Shop for the New Year in our supermarket, and you will receive a spare liver and a second stomach for free!
If you want to feel like a star, sit on the Christmas tree!
Santa Claus comes to normal children, and Wasserman comes to nerds.
Dear Grandfather Frost, I can’t have sweets, so send me a box of semi-sweet!
If you see a sober Santa Claus, then most likely it is Santa Claus
friends, let's start preparing the liver for the new year together!
Why is it always like this - you wait and wait for the New Year, and March 8th, as always, comes unexpectedly...
Statuses about the New Year and love
I want it to snow in big, big flakes and to be warm outside, but I walk hand in hand with him and understand that my New Year’s wish has come true!
I'm not asking you to solve it. I just ask you to make a wish on the night of 31st to 1st
I don't need gifts for the New Year! give me the days when I was happy with him...
Sad about the New Year
everyone says “new year, new year”!!! but what’s the point? still the current figure is higher!(((
And only Christmas trees hate New Year.
Every New Year, you plan to celebrate in a special way, but it turns out to be a banal booze
If Dad’s beard hadn’t been pinched by the door, I would probably still believe in Santa Claus!
You can celebrate the New Year or not, it will come anyway!!!
Many people are looking forward to the new year for a fresh start with "old" habits
Yes, breaking up before the New Year is a good gift...
Statuses about the old new year
Old New Year….!!! It’s the same as a “smart fool”... How GREAT and POWERFUL... is our Russian language...
It is very difficult to explain to a foreigner what the Old New Year is
The Old New Year is not a holiday. This is a state of mind
Let's start celebrating the new year, and end with the old one
New Year is old, but they drink like it’s new.
What a delight - Old New Year!
Celebrate the Old New Year! He brings so much joy!
So the old New Year has knocked on your door, bursting into your door from the pre-holiday hassle!
According to the old calendar, today is the New Year, I give thanks for the past, the coming one - without worries
We haven’t sobered up since the new year, and then the old one came along...
And again the people are happy. Hello old New Year!
Here's to the Old New Year, honest people!
Make wishes for the Old New Year - they always come true!
The New Year crept up quietly, there was confusion in my head... either old or new... as long as it wasn’t worthless
New Year's bells 😀
The video is old, but it's always nice to watch it :)
New Year is perhaps the most wonderful holiday, which not only children, but also adults are looking forward to. This is a time of gifts, fulfillment of wishes and real magic. On holidays, children write letters to Santa Claus, and parents run around the shops in search of cherished gifts for their children. Traditionally, the holiday begins to be celebrated on the evening of December 31st; before celebrating it, you need to spend the outgoing year. There are many jokes about the fact that the holiday begins on December 31st and ends at least on January 7th. Of course, there is so much to do during the New Year holidays: meet all your friends and visit all your relatives. In that magical holiday everyone deserves warmth and attention.
Statuses for the New Year 2019
In 2019, I wish you 12 months without illness, 53 weeks of all the best, 365 days of happiness, 8760 hours of success, 525600 minutes of love, and 315360000 seconds of pleasant moments.
The anticipation of the New Year awakens the child in me... Like waking up in the morning as a child, I want to see a Christmas tree with gifts under it... I want to play snowballs and eat snow and not think about getting sick.
Let in New Year's Eve Happiness will knock on your door... And God grant that you find yourself at home at this moment!
The tangerines are in use, which means the New Year is coming!
I love winter and the feeling that the holidays are approaching... New Year's days... Days of fulfillment of desires, belief in miracles and fairy tales!
New Years is soon! Let all of you... have someone nearby who will peel your tangerines... And someone who will steal these tangerines from both of you...
My status went into the forest, probably behind the tree.
Funny and cool quotes
I want a man... small, plump, with gifts... Santa Claus, I’m waiting!
We'll soon be on the Internet, we won't be celebrating the New Year, but updating it.
Never stick snowflakes on the refrigerator on New Year's Eve - they resemble the letter Z to drunk guests.
Only here on New Year’s Day the President’s congratulations are broadcast on all channels, but they watch it only on the first one.
The New Year holiday is a dinner ending with breakfast.
Grandfather Frost, I would like... Gazprom shares - so that I don’t bother you anymore.
If a fat guy comes up at night and puts you in a bag... don’t freak out! Someone just asked Santa Claus for you for the New Year;)
Dear Grandfather Frost, for the New Year, put a piece of happiness under my Christmas tree... 180 cm tall, please.
My children are already writing a letter to Santa Claus! And Santa Claus sits next to him on the sofa and goes nuts!
Prepared thoroughly for the New Year! I even moved the scales back 5 kg...
December is approaching the middle, it's time to decide what to dress up for the night from December 31 to January 9.
- How did you spend New Years?
- I don’t know, they haven’t told us yet...
Statuses with meaning
Snow... Adults say that this is frozen water, but children know better: these are little stars with the magical taste of the New Year.
I’m getting ready for the New Year, it seems my liver is suspecting something.
Dear Grandfather Frost, cotton wool beard, I don’t need gifts! Increase your salary!
New Year is a time when you are more glad to receive a call at 3 am than to receive a call at 10 am.
The New Year is a good reason to leave some people in the old ways.
Someone dreams of a new life. And for some, the New Year is enough.
Every man should be a little Santa Claus for his family, help his Snow Maiden create a fairy tale and give gifts, well, if this doesn’t suit anyone, there is also a vacancy for a deer.
Beautiful statuses about the New Year
The New Year gives us a great chance to change our lives for the better. This is a reason to abandon the usual, but so boring, step over fears, leave doubts behind, smile at the world around and begin to build your destiny according to your own, exclusive project.
At the strike of the clock, at twelve sharp,
The world will change around.
It's like we're in a fairy tale,
Let's suddenly plunge back into childhood...
They say that on New Year's Eve everything always comes true, even what whole year It’s impossible to sell!
Dear Grandfather Frost!!! I want to make an application! Put just five boxes under the Christmas tree for my friends: fill the first with health, the second with luck, the third with kindness, the fourth with patience, and put faith in the fifth! And I also beg you, tie all these boxes with a ribbon of happiness! Thank you, Grandfather Frost. I'll be looking forward to it...
As we get older, our New Year's wish list gets smaller and smaller, and what we really want cannot be bought with money.
There are many aphorisms about the New Year. Some of them have playful character and amuse, while others inspire philosophical reflection and encourage change. Choose the expressions you like for your statuses, give yourself and those around you a New Year's mood!
Social networks, instant messaging systems and various personalized accounts have filled the entire surrounding information space. According to statistics, only one Facebook active users, for example, in 2018 there were up to 2 billion people, and Youtube - 1.5.
Two-thirds of the population of our planet, the first thing they do in the morning is check the news feed on their social networks, post new statuses or comments, like friends, etc.
This can be condemned, it can be used to promote your business or any other activity, it can be welcomed as a way of uniting people who would never have known about each other before. But one cannot help but admit that power social networks above the world - this is an established fact.
And all of us, of course, being under the influence of the magic of this, cannot resist the temptation to put some new status. Especially when it comes to such cross-planetary and such important holiday like New Year.
Which New Year's status should you choose?
It is, of course, pointless to recommend any specific recipes for success here. Unless you are a shocking guru, you shouldn’t radically change the style of your account. Believe me, on the wall of an 11-year-old girl, quotes from Kafka about the frailty of existence and hopelessness after complaining about an evil mathematician look a little stupid.
Like the phrases of Snoop Dogg from a gray-haired professor of fine literature... The only and main advice may be something like: less is more.
You shouldn’t try to outdo everyone in the world in originality, to appear to be something other than who you really are - the chance of acquiring the stamp of an incorrigible snob, fool or bore is too great. But sincerity and natural passion for something are, on the contrary, the key to favorable perception by the public.
On New Year 2019, in your status, it is undoubtedly better to write something for the occasion. But always from the heart and with feeling. If this is a wish, then it must be such that after reading it, everyone’s heart will warm.
If there is some kind of philosophical thought, then it is necessarily connected with the tradition of rethinking your life on this holiday, reflecting some universal humanitarian values, which, especially now, of course, is not a sin to remind.
And if your imagination doesn’t immediately helpfully throw up a couple of stellar ideas, and your memory is bashfully silent when trying to come up with a new New Year’s status, it’s worth seeing what we’ve prepared for you in this section. Believe me, we tried very hard to find really bright and cool statuses on this topic!
Comical and funny
Humor is our everything! Especially on such a fun and joyful holiday for everyone. So show them off in your status! Yes, so much so as to make even Princess Nesmeyana smile. Let it be a really popular and funny mini-anecdote, a reworked aphorism on a topic, a humorous excerpt from a “Letter to Santa Claus,” or some other original creative.
And, by the way, here you will find all the latest jokes about the New Year, which have never won an accordion competition before, the kind that, when you look at them, no one will have any doubt that you are a real joke guru.
- The New Year is an official chance to start a new life. Only honestly. Cross out unnecessary people, stop being lazy, and do what you promised.
- I really want to walk around the city in the evening on New Year's Eve, when everything will be lit with lights, congratulations on the New Year and the smell of the approaching New Year will be in the air.
- Nothing can save you from a New Year's hangover like a glass of milk, a cool shower and sex. Did not help? Then old, grandfatherly...
- Oh, this New Year's madness! It feels like we haven’t cleaned, shopped, cooked, repaired or dressed all year... And only in December we remembered all this!
- Inevitable sequel festive table- festive chair.
- Cool statuses for the New Year 2018: There is no sadder story in the world than the New Year and thoughts about diet...
- Never stop believing in miracles! Happy upcoming year everyone!
- Grandfather Frost, last New Year I asked you for a boyfriend. So, take this goat back and give us some markers.
- Grandfather Frost, please don’t give me more sweets...no, don’t.... semi-sweet is better.
- Well, here it is New Year again. Goodbye to my size 42, hello “you’ve gained some weight” and “that’s it, starting on a diet tomorrow”
- Well, thank God, we had a blast... We finished the damn Olivier... Fireworks were set off at midnight... I wish I could remember... with whom and where...
We are all philosophers at heart...
The main thing is not to post all sorts of nonsense, which you yourself, let’s say, have a little understanding of, and which in this case, as they say, is of no use to the village or the city. Let it be something moderately abstruse, understandable and close, at least to your social circle, topical and awakening the good in people.
All sorts of deep theses, boiling down to the fact that “nothing lasts forever under the moon”, “good is bad, which was looked at from a different angle”, etc. better left for the general public autumn depression. You shouldn’t ruin people’s mood by trying to seem original. This obviously won’t add karma. As well as likes...
- I really want a New Year as soon as possible, tangerines, salads, a Christmas tree, garlands, everything is blinking like that, and congratulations from Putin, gifts, and don’t sleep until the morning, I wish these 10 days would pass quickly!
- I already want snow... tangerines... New Year... and my dear people nearby...)))
- I really want New Year! Festive mood, lots of snow, the smell of tangerines and Christmas trees, a glass of sparkling champagne, chimes and all your favorites nearby!
- I want New Year! The smell of tangerines, Christmas trees... fresh soft snow... light frost on the street... Painted patterns on the windows... the movie “Home Alone”... And a Coca-Cola advertisement.)))
- And I really want the New Year... Tangerines, long holidays and “the holiday is coming to us.”
- How I'm looking forward to the New Year! This magical holiday, smelling of tangerines, Christmas trees and... childhood...
- In childhood, it’s like – you stick a paper snowflake on the window, put on a crown made of glass beads, eat tangerines until you get diathesis... and that’s it, hello, New Year! And now you sit here and worry about making something like this, putting it on and gobbling it up, in order to feel that happiness is approaching.
- Imagine: you woke up in the morning, got dressed, washed your face, ate a tangerine and went for a ride down the hill. And then they returned, ate and went to bed. And at night my grandmother warmed me up in the bath and put me to bed. And for the New Year there are gifts. And no problems. I really want to go back to my childhood!
Total romance
It's no secret that when we are in love or simply forever young at heart, we never cease to rejoice at the snowflakes falling on our palms, the smell of the Christmas tree, and are imbued with an absolutely magical and romantic mood for the entire New Year and Christmas period.
After all, remember, too sweet is just as disgusting as it is too bitter! In any case, you need to know when to stop, and this rule, of course, applies not only to romantic quotes...
Well, I would like to believe that the statuses on this page will allow you to make a worthy appearance on your wall before the New Year, to wish everyone you care about all the best, to show off your wit or erudition. And, in any case, may the coming Year of the Pig give you nothing but likes!
- New Year's Eve good husband decorates the Christmas tree, and a very good one decorates his wife!
- Dear Grandfather Frost! I’m not asking you for anything special, but let the person who is now reading this status be happy in the New Year! 🙂
- THE NEW YEAR IS CROOKING QUIETLY, IN YOUR HEAD IS A CONSISTENCY...EITHER THE OLD...OR THE NEW,ONLY AS WELL AS IT'S NOT CRAPED!
- The New Year is an official chance to start a new life. Only honestly. Cross out unnecessary people, stop being lazy, and do what you promised.
- Dear Grandfather Frost! May the president, government and deputies live on child care benefits in the New Year!
- I wonder if anyone wished for me for the New Year?
- Grandfather Frost, put a piece of happiness under my Christmas tree... 185 cm... with brown eyes... and weigh about 95 kilograms... please...
- Grandfather Frost, last New Year I asked you for a boyfriend. So take this goat back and give us better markers :)
- Do you know why there isn’t that same New Year’s mood?!
It’s just that we already know that Santa Claus does not exist and we no longer wait for anyone all night. We simply have no one to believe in. We choose our own gifts and already know in advance what will be under the tree, but earlier in our childhood we were happy to find a simple box of sweets under the tree... all these miracles simply disappeared with age. - New Year's mood is when you are glad to see even those who have entered the wrong door.
Video
The article was written specifically for the website “2019 Year of the Pig”: https://site/