Alan Pease non-verbal communication. Alan Pease Body Language

Allan Pease (Allan Pease). body language

©Photo by Mike Snead

"The whole variety of external manifestations of brain activity
finally comes down to a single phenomenon - muscular movement.
I.M. Sechenov

Language of the body
Gestures (their meaning)
Gestures of openness. Among them, the following can be distinguished: Open hands with palms up (a gesture associated with sincerity and openness), shrugging, accompanied by a gesture of open hands (indicates openness of nature), unbuttoning a jacket (people who are open and friendly to you often unbutton their jacket during a conversation and even take it off in your presence). For example, when children are proud of their achievements, they openly show their hands, and when they feel guilty or wary, they hide their hands either in their pockets or behind their backs. Experts also noticed that during successfully ongoing negotiations, their participants unbutton their jackets, straighten their legs, move to the edge of the chair, close to the table, which separates them from the interlocutor.

Defense gestures (defensive). They react to possible threats, conflict situations. When we see that the interlocutor has crossed his arms over his chest, we should reconsider what we are doing or saying, because he begins to withdraw from the discussion. Hands clenched into fists also mean the speaker's defensive reaction.

Evaluation gestures. They express thoughtfulness and dreaminess. For example, the "hand to cheek" gesture - people leaning their cheek on their hand are usually immersed in deep thought. Gesture of critical assessment - the chin rests on the palm. the index finger is extended along the cheek, the remaining fingers are below the mouth (the "wait and see" position). A person sits on the edge of a chair, elbows on hips, arms hanging freely (position "this is wonderful!"). The tilted head is a gesture of attentive listening. So, if the majority of listeners in the audience do not have their heads bowed, then the group as a whole is not interested in the material that the teacher presents. Scratching the chin ("OK, let's think" gesture) is used when a person is busy making a decision. Gestures with glasses (wipes glasses, takes glasses in his mouth) - this is a pause for reflection. pondering one's position before putting up a more determined resistance, demanding clarification or raising a question.

pacing.- a gesture denoting an attempt to solve a difficult problem or make a difficult decision. The pinching of the bridge of the nose is a gesture, usually combined with closed eyes, and speaks of deep concentration "intense thought.
Boredom gestures. They are expressed in tapping the foot on the floor or clicking the cap of a fountain pen. Head in the palm of your hand. Machine drawing on paper. Blank stare ("I look at you, but do not listen").

Gestures of courtship, "beautification". In women, they look like smoothing hair, straightening hair, clothes, looking at yourself in the mirror and turning in front of it; swaying the hips, slowly crossing and spreading the legs in front of the man, stroking oneself on the calves, knees, thighs; balancing the shoes on the tips of the fingers /"in your presence I feel comfortable"/, for men - correcting the tie, cufflinks, jacket, straightening the whole body, moving the chin up and down to others.

Gestures of suspicion and secrecy. The hand covers the mouth - the interlocutor diligently hides his position on the issue under discussion. A glance to the side is an indicator of secrecy. Legs or the whole body is facing the exit - a sure sign that a person wants to end a conversation or meeting. Touching or rubbing the nose index finger- a sign of doubt / other varieties of this gesture - rubbing with the index finger behind the ear or in front of the ear, rubbing the eyes /

Gestures of dominance-subordination. Superiority can be expressed in a welcoming handshake. When a person gives you a firm handshake and turns it so that the palm rests on top of yours, he is trying to express something like physical superiority. And, conversely, when he holds out his hand with the palm up, it means he is ready to take on a subordinate role. When the hand of the interlocutor during the conversation is carelessly thrust into the pocket of the jacket, and the thumb is outside, this expresses the person's confidence in his superiority.

Readiness gestures. Hands on hips - the first sign of readiness (it can often be seen in athletes waiting for their turn to perform). A variation of this posture in a sitting position - a person sits on the edge of a chair, the elbow of one hand and the palm of the other rest on his knees / so they sit just before concluding an agreement or. on the contrary, before getting up and leaving/.

Reinsurance gestures. Different finger movements reflect different sensations: insecurity, internal conflict, concerns. The child in this case sucks his finger, the teenager bites his nails, and the adult often replaces his finger with a fountain pen or pencil and bites them. Other gestures of this group are interlaced fingers when thumbs rub each other; tingling of the skin; moving the back of a chair before sitting down, in a gathering of other people.
For women, a typical gesture of giving inner confidence is a slow and graceful raising of a hand to the neck.

Frustration gestures. They are characterized by short intermittent breathing, often accompanied by obscure sounds like moaning, lowing, etc. one who does not notice the moment when his opponent begins to breathe rapidly, and continues to prove his own, may run into trouble /; tightly braided, tense hands - a gesture of distrust and suspicion / one who tries, with his hands clasped, to assure others of his sincerity, usually fails /, hands tightly squeeze one another - it means that a person is in a "mess" for example, must answer a question . containing a serious accusation against him/; stroking the neck with the palm of the hand / in many cases when a person is defending himself / - women, usually in these situations, straighten their hair.

Gestures of trust. The fingers are connected like a dome of a temple (the "dome" gesture), which means trust and some self-contentment, selfishness or pride (a very common gesture in a boss-subordinate relationship).

Gestures of authoritarianism. Hands are connected behind the back, the chin is raised / this is how army commanders, policemen, and also top leaders often stand /. In general, if you want to make clear your superiority, you just need to physically rise above your opponent - sit above him if you are talking while sitting, or maybe stand in front of him.

Gestures of nervousness. Coughing, clearing the throat /one who often does this feels insecure, anxious/, the elbows are placed on the table, forming a pyramid, the top of which is the hands located directly in front of the mouth (such people play cat and mouse with partners, while they do not give them the opportunity to "reveal the cards", an indication of which is the removal of hands from the mouth on the table), jingling coins in the pocket, indicating concern about the presence or lack of money; twitching one's ear is a sign that the interlocutor wants to interrupt the conversation, but is holding himself back.

Self-control gestures. Hands behind the back and tightly clenched. Another posture is sitting in a chair, the man crossed his ankles and clasped his hands on the armrests /typical of waiting for a dentist's appointment/. The gestures of this group signal a desire to deal with strong feelings and emotions.
Body language expressed in gait.
The most important ones are speed, step size, degree of tension,
body movements associated with walking, setting socks.
Do not forget about the influence of shoes (especially for women)!
Fast or slow gait depends on temperament and strength of impulses restless-nervous - lively and active - calm and relaxed - sluggishly lazy (for example, with a relaxed, sagging posture, etc.)

wide steps(more often in men than in women): often extraversion, purposefulness, zeal, enterprise, efficiency. Most likely aimed at distant targets.

Short, small steps(more often in women than in men): rather introversion, caution, calculation, adaptability, quick thinking and reactions, restraint.

Emphasized wide and slow gait- the desire to flaunt, actions with pathos. Strong and heavy movements should always demonstrate to others the strength and significance of the individual. Question: is it really?

Pronounced relaxed gait- lack of interest, indifference, aversion to coercion and responsibility, or in many young people - immaturity, lack of self-discipline, or snobbery

Noticeably small and at the same time fast steps, disturbed rhythmically: agitation, timidity of various shades. (Unconscious goal: evade, give way to any danger)

Rhythmically strong gait, swaying slightly back and forth(with increased movements of the hips), claiming some space: naive-instinctive and self-confident natures.

Shuffling "sagging" gait refusal of volitional efforts and aspirations, lethargy, slowness, laziness.

A ponderous "proud" gait, in which there is something theatrical, not entirely appropriate, when the steps are relatively small when walking slowly (contradiction), when the upper body is held pointedly and too straight, possibly with a disturbed rhythm: overestimation of oneself, arrogance, narcissism .

Hard, angular, stilted, wooden gait(unnatural tension in the legs, the body cannot sway naturally): tightness, lack of contacts, timidity - hence, in the form of compensation, excessive hardness, overstrain

Unnatural jerky gait, emphasized large and fast steps, noticeable waving of the arms back and forth: the existing and demonstrated activity is often only meaningless employment and efforts about some of their own desires.

Constant lifting up(on tense toes): striving upward, driven by an ideal, a strong need, a sense of intellectual superiority.
Posture
Good relaxed posture- the basis is high susceptibility and openness to the environment, the ability to immediately use internal forces, natural self-confidence and a sense of security.

Immobility or tension in the body: self-defense reaction when they feel out of place and want to step back. Greater or lesser constraint, avoidance of contact, closeness, self-centered state of mind. Often sensitivity (sensitivity when you need to evaluate yourself).

Constant tightness and external rigidity with a certain coldness of manifestations: sensitive natures who try to hide behind the appearance of firmness and confidence (often quite successfully).

Bad, sluggish posture: outside and inside "hang nose".

Stooped back: humility, humility, sometimes servility. This is a spiritual state, which is confirmed by a facial expression known to everyone.

Frequently taken postures of a conventional kind(for example, one or two hands in pockets, hands clasped behind the back or crossed on the chest, etc.) - if not associated with states of tension: lack of independence, the need to imperceptibly include oneself in general order. Often observed when several people gather in a group.

This topic is well studied in psychology, those who are familiar with it,
well oriented in society and quickly conduct a behavioral analysis of the interlocutor,
which helps a lot with further communication or rejection of it.
I advise you to download or read the book by the Australian writer Allan Pease (Allan Pease)
Body language. How to read the thoughts of others by their gestures

"Body Language" was first published on English language in 1981. “Read any person like a book”, choose the right line of conduct, feel confident and at ease in any environment, make the most correct decisions - all this is available to everyone. This book will help you understand your own non-verbal cues, teaches how to use them for effective communication. Don't let yourself be manipulated!

Allan Pease. Body language. - Nizhny Novgorod: IQ Publishing House, 1992. - 272 p.

Download abstract ( summary) in the format or

Chapter I. General understanding of body language

Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language, and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements can contradict what his voice says. When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues to verbal cues.

Some gestures are innate, others are acquired, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. All over the world, the basic communication gestures do not differ from each other. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they look angry. However, in general, the non-verbal language of one nation is different from the non-verbal language of another nation.

One of the biggest mistakes newcomers to learning body language can make is trying to single out one gesture and treat it in isolation from other gestures and circumstances. For example, scratching the back of the head can mean a thousand things - dandruff, fleas, sweating, insecurity, forgetfulness, or telling a lie - depending on what other gestures accompany this scratching, so for a correct interpretation, we must take into account the entire complex of accompanying gestures.

Studies show that non-verbal signals carry 5 times more information than verbal ones, and if the signals are incongruent, people rely on non-verbal information, preferring it to verbal.

A person at the top of the social ladder or professional career can enjoy the wealth of his vocabulary in the process of communication, while a less educated or less professional person will more often rely on gestures rather than words in the process of communication.

When an adult lies, his brain sends him an impulse to cover his mouth in an attempt to delay the words of deceit, but at the last moment the hand avoids the mouth and another gesture is born - touching the nose (Fig. 1).

Rice. 1. Gesture of a deceiving adult

The most typical question is "Is it possible to fake in your own body language?" The usual answer to this question is no, because the lack of congruence between gestures, bodily signals, and spoken words will give you away. For example, open palms are associated with honesty, but when a deceiver opens his arms to you and smiles at you while telling a lie, his body's microsignals will give away his secret thoughts. These may be constricted pupils, a raised eyebrow, or a curvature of the corner of the mouth.

Chapter II. Zones and territories

The dimensions of a person's personal spatial zone are socially and nationally determined. While members of one nation, such as the Japanese, are accustomed to overcrowding, others prefer wide open spaces and like to keep their distance. The personal spatial territory of a person can be divided into 4 zones (Fig. 2). If you want people to feel comfortable in your company, follow the golden rule: "Keep your distance."

Rice. 2. Spatial zones of a person

The crowding of people at concerts, in cinema halls, on escalators, in transport, in elevators leads to the inevitable invasion of people into each other's intimate zones. There are a number of unwritten rules for the behavior of a Westerner in crowded conditions:

• Don't talk to anyone, not even people you know.
• Don't stare at others.
• The face must be completely impartial.
• If you have a book or newspapers in your hands, you should be completely immersed in reading.
• The closer in transport, the more restrained your movements should be.

With this in mind, it's easy to see why areas with higher population densities have higher crime rates.

Moving into the intimate territory of a person of the opposite sex is a way of expressing his interest in this person and is called flirting. However, among the Japanese and many European nations, the intimate zone is only 23-25 ​​cm. Ignorance of culturally determined differences in intimate areas various people can easily lead to misunderstandings and misjudgments about the behavior and culture of others.

Chapter III. Palms

From time immemorial, an open palm has been associated with sincerity, honesty, devotion and gullibility. When a person begins to be frank, he usually opens his palms in full or in part to the interlocutor. When a child is lying or hiding something, he hides his palms behind his back. There are three basic palm command gestures: palm up, palm down, and pointing finger (Figure 3), and their corresponding three types of handshake (Figure 4).

Rice. 3. Palm position: (a) trusting, (b) dominant, (c) aggressive

Rice. 4. Handshakes (for a shirt with a dark cuff): (a) the master of the situation, (b) yielding the initiative, (c) an equal handshake

Chapter IV. Hand and hand gestures

By rubbing their palms, people non-verbally communicate their positive expectations. The person throwing the die rubs it between his palms as a signal that he expects to win. Interlocked fingers indicate disappointment and a person’s desire to hide their negative attitude (Fig. 5).

Rice. 5. Interlocked fingers indicate disappointment.

Laying hands behind the back is considered a gesture of a self-confident person with a sense of superiority over others. Exposing the thumbs speaks of authority, superiority and even aggressiveness of a person (Fig. 6).

Rice. 6. Thumbs up indicates authority.

chapter V

What gestures can betray a person if he is lying? These are gestures associated with touching hands to the face (Fig. 7). To disguise the hand-guarding mouth gesture, some people try to fake a cough. The nose touch is a subtle, disguised version of the previous gesture. Men also rub their eyelids, and if the lie is very serious, they turn their eyes away, usually to the floor. Women very delicately do this movement, swiping a finger under the eye. Scratching and rubbing the ear indicates the desire of the listener to isolate himself from words.

Rice. 7. Covering your mouth with your hand may indicate the speaker is lying.

Chapter VI. Hands as barriers

By placing one or both hands on our chest, we form a barrier. This is a clear signal that the person feels threatened or threatened. When the listener crosses his arms over his chest, he not only develops a negative attitude towards the speaker, but he also pays less attention to what he hears. If you use the full gesture of crossing your arms, it becomes obvious to others that you are experiencing a feeling of fear. Sometimes we replace it with a partial, incomplete cross, in which one hand is placed across the body, taking the other hand at the elbow.

Another common variant of the incomplete barrier is a gesture in which a person holds his own hands (Fig. 8). This gesture is commonly used by people standing in front of a large audience when receiving an award or when giving a speech. This gesture allows the person to regain the sense of emotional security they experienced as a child when their parents held their hand under dangerous circumstances.

Rice. 8. Disguised protective gesture

Chapter VII. Protective barrier formed with legs

Like protective barriers formed with the help of the arms, crossing the legs is a sign of a negative or defensive attitude of a person. Crossing the arms over the chest was originally associated with the function of protecting the heart and chest area, while crossing the legs is an attempt to protect the genital area.

When the crossed leg is also accompanied by the crossing of arms over the chest (Fig. 9), this means that the person has “disconnected” from the conversation. It would be foolish for a salesman to even try to ask a customer in such a position about his decision, and a few clarifying questions should be asked to clarify his objections. This position is very popular with women all over the world, especially if they want to express their dissatisfaction with a husband or friend.

Rice. 9. A woman expresses her displeasure

As soon as people begin to feel comfortable and close to others, they obey an unwritten law, according to which the protective posture changes to an open, relaxed one.

Chapter VIII. Other notable gestures and movements

Most chair-riders are dominant types who try to control and dominate people if they get bored with the topic of conversation, and the back of the chair serves as a good defense against any attack from others (Fig. 10). The easiest way to disarm the rider is to stand or sit behind him, from which he will feel the vulnerability of the rear in the event of an attack and change his position, becoming less aggressive.

Rice. 10. Aggressive posture

If a chair lover comes to you and his aggressive manner annoys you, try to move him to a stable chair with armrests that will prevent him from getting into his favorite position.

When a person does not agree with the opinion or attitude of other people, but does not dare to express his point of view, he makes gestures that are called repression gestures, i.e. they appear as a result of restraining one's opinion. Picking up, plucking non-existent villi from clothes is one of these gestures.

There are three main head positions. Direct position head is characteristic of a person who is neutral about what he hears. When the head tilts to the side, this indicates that the person has awakened interest (Fig. 11). Charles Darwin was one of the first to notice that people, like animals, tilt their heads to the side when they become interested in something. Women use this head position to show their interest in attractive man. If the head is tilted down, this indicates that the person's attitude is negative, and even judgmental.

Rice. 11. Interested head position

Laying hands behind the head is typical for people with a sense of superiority over others. This gesture is also characteristic of "know-it-alls", and many people get annoyed when someone demonstrates this gesture in front of them (Fig. 12).

Rice. 12. “Maybe someday you will be as successful as me.”

Chapter IX. Eye signals

In Expressive Eyes, Hess says that the eyes transmit the most accurate and open signals of all human communication signals, because the pupils behave completely independently. When a person is aroused, his pupils dilate four times against normal state. On the contrary, an angry, gloomy mood causes the pupils to contract, resulting in the so-called "beady eyes" or "snake" eyes.

When conducting business negotiations, imagine that there is a triangle on the forehead of your interlocutor (Fig. 13a). By directing your gaze to this triangle, you create a serious atmosphere, and the other person feels that you are in a businesslike mood. Provided that your gaze does not fall below the eyes of the other person, you will be able to control the course of negotiations with your gaze. An intimate gaze passes through the line of the eyes and descends below the chin to other parts of the interlocutor's body (Fig. 13b). With close communication, this triangle descends from the eyes to the chest, and with distant communication, from the eyes to the perineum. Men and women, with the help of this look, show their interest in a person, and if he is also interested, then he will respond with the same look.

Rice. 13. Where to look: (a) business, (b) intimate

Chapter XI. Cigarettes, cigars, pipes and glasses

A positive, self-confident, and self-satisfied person will blow smoke upward almost constantly; conversely, a negative person, with secretive or suspicious thoughts, will almost always direct the jet downward. If good cards came to the smoking player during the distribution of cards, he will probably blow up, and if bad cards came, he will blow them down.

Looking over glasses indicates a critical judgmental attitude towards a person.

Chapter XII. Gestures of proprietary and territorial claims

People lean against objects or each other in order to state their territorial claims to this object or person. For example, if you want to photograph your friend in front of his new car, boat, house or some other property, you will definitely see how he leans on - his newly acquired property, puts his foot or puts his hand on it (Fig. 14 ). When he touches his property, it becomes an extension of his body, and in this way he shows others that it belongs to him. Lovers constantly hold hands or hug in public.

Rice. 14. A gesture expressing a sense of pride in one's property

Chapter XIII. mirroring

When you attend any official reception, evening or party, pay attention that some people communicating with each other sit or stand in the same position and repeat each other's gestures. This "mirroring" is a means by which one person communicates to another that he agrees with his opinions and views (for more on mirror neurons in the brain, see ,).

Chapter XIV. Bowing, slouching, their dependence on social status

Since ancient times, the desire to reduce one's height in front of others has been used as a means of establishing relationships of subordination. We address members of the Royal Dynasty as "Your Highness" and those who commit obscene acts are referred to as "low".

By deliberately shrinking one's figure, one can consciously avoid displeasure from others. Let's say you were speeding and the police stopped you. Since the official position of the policeman is significantly higher than yours, try to act in this way:

• Immediately get out of your car (your territory) and go to the police car (his territory). In this case, he does not have to leave his territory.
• Try to bend down enough to look shorter than him.
• To belittle your personality, say how stupid and irresponsible you acted, and to elevate him, thank him for pointing out your mistake to you. Tell him that you appreciate his hard work, especially when he has to deal with fools like you.
• Stretch out both hands to him, palms up, in a pleading voice, ask him not to issue a fine.

Chapter XV. Influencing others with the help of various positions of the body

The turn of the body and the direction of the toe of the foot indicates the direction of the person's thoughts. From them you can determine where he would like to go. On fig. 15 shows two people talking as they walk through the door: the man on the left is trying to keep the other person's attention, but the other person wants to continue in the direction his body is pointing, although his head is turned and indicates his interest. But only when the person on the right turns his body to the other, a conversation of mutually interested people can take place.

Rice. 15. By turning the body, it is clear what a person wants to do, and where he wants to go

The angle at which people stand in relation to each other also provides information about their relationship. For example, people in most English-speaking countries stand at a 90-degree angle during a conversation (Figure 16). This posture is a non-verbal invitation to a third person to join them, standing in the place of this third point.

Rice. 16. Open triangular position

When it is required to establish a relationship of ownership or intimacy, the angle between the bodies decreases to zero degrees (Fig. 17).

Rice. 17. Closed position. The body of the body is turned towards the person you are interested in

The legs most often indicate the direction a person would like to go, but they also indicate a person who is attractive and interesting to you.

Chapter XVI. Different types of tables and ways of placing participants at the table

The strategic location of "forces" and the correct distribution of participants at the table is a means of their effective interaction. Different shades of people's attitude towards you can be expressed through the place they occupy at the table relative to you. For example, face B can take four basic positions relative to face A (Fig. 18).

• B1: Corner arrangement; characteristic of people engaged in friendly, casual conversation; it will also be the best strategic location for a sales agent to present a product to a new customer.
• B2: Position of business interaction; used when two people are working together on a problem or project.
• OT: Competitive-defensive position. People take this position at the table when they are in a competitive relationship, or when one of them reprimands the other for some wrongdoing. If B wants to influence A, then standing against each other reduces his chances of a successful negotiation.
• Q4: Independent position. This position is occupied by people who do not want to interact at the table with each other. Usually this happens in the library, in the park on a bench or in a restaurant at a table.

Rice. 18. The main types of arrangement of people around the table

King Arthur used the round table to give all knights an equal amount of power and equal position. Round table creates an atmosphere of informality and ease, and is best remedy conducting conversations with people of the same social status.

Chapter XVII. Various ways to artificially increase the status

The higher the back of the chair, the more power and authority the person sitting on it has. Kings, queens, popes and other privileged persons make the back of the chair up to 2.5 meters high to emphasize their status relative to their subjects.

Hess, E. The Tell-Tale Eye, New York, 1975. Apparently not translated into Russian. - Note. Baguzin.

State Academic University of the Humanities.

Abstract on the Theory of Dialogue.

Based on Alan Pease's Body Language. How to read minds with gestures.

Completed by: 3rd year student

Faculty of Political Science
Kirilina Maria

2010

Introduction

1. “Body langwidge”.

2. Intuition and presentiment.

3. Congruence - the coincidence of words and gestures.

4. Movement.

Conclusion

Introduction.

Allan Pease's Body Language has been a worldwide bestseller for over two decades. Its total circulation has already amounted to about a hundred million copies, it has been translated into 36 languages.

The "new" language will open up new horizons for people's perception, help us feel confident and at ease in any unfamiliar environment, because you will always know what your interlocutors really think and feel. Learn body language, you can certainly succeed in everything!

Feelings and thoughts of a person are easy to guess by his posture, facial expressions and gestures, and this greatly facilitates the task of choosing the right line of conduct in friendly and business communication and making important decisions.

"Read any person like a book", choose the right line of conduct, feel confident and at ease in any situation, make the most correct decisions - all this is now real and accessible to everyone. This book will also help you become aware of your own non-verbal signals and teach you how to use them for effective communication. Don't let yourself be manipulated.

1. “Body langwidge”.

Everyone had to study languages. We studied native language, foreign, many are studying programming languages, someone is studying the international language Esperanto. But there is another international, public and understandable language, which until recently little was known about - this is the language of gestures, facial expressions and body movements of a person - “body language”.

The first serious study of this language was undertaken in the late 70s by Allan Pease, who is a recognized expert in psychology. human communication and the author of a methodology for teaching the basics of communication. Allan Pease not only masters the art of communicating with people, but also has a unique gift to teach this practical art, which is the secret of your business success and personal life.

Psychologists have found that in the process of human interaction, from 60 to 80% of communication is carried out through non-verbal means expressions, and only 20-40% of the information is transmitted through verbal.

These data make us think about the meaning of "non-verbal" for the psychology of communication and mutual understanding of people, to turn Special attention on the meaning of human gestures and facial expressions, and also give rise to a desire to master the art of interpreting this special language - body language, which we all speak without even knowing it.

The study of this special way of communication will help us learn to “read between the lines” and read all the hidden information directly from your interlocutor, will allow us to answer the following questions:

when to shake hands and when not to;

how a person betrays his inner state by the way he smokes;

However, “body language” is in particular demand in the field of business and entrepreneurship. The ability to interest a partner in your products, to conduct a qualified product presentation and to achieve an order will largely depend on your ability to interpret body language, and the use of various aids will help you succeed in negotiations with partners.

2. Intuition and foreboding

When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read one person's non-verbal cues and compare those cues to verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone has told a lie, we really mean that we have noticed a discrepancy between the body language and the words spoken by this person. Lecturers call this the feeling of the audience. For example, if the listening people sit deep in their chairs with their chins down and arms crossed over their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that his message will not succeed. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. And an unreceptive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and aggravate his mistake.

Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signs, to capture the smallest details. Therefore, few of the husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man in his eyes, which he does not even suspect.

This female intuition is especially well developed in women involved in the upbringing of young children.

For the first few years, the mother relies only on non-verbal communication with the child, and it is believed that, due to their intuition, women are more suitable for negotiating than men.

Basic communication gestures and their origins

All over the world, the basic communication gestures do not differ from each other. When people are happy, they smile; when they are sad, they frown; when they are angry, they have an angry look. Nodding one's head almost all over the world means "yes" or an affirmation. It appears to be an innate gesture as it is also used by blind and deaf people. Shaking the head to indicate denial or disagreement is also universal, and may be one of the gestures invented in childhood. When the baby has sucked milk, he, refusing the mother's breast, makes a movement of his head from side to side. When Small child When he is full, he turns his head from side to side to dodge the spoon his parents are feeding him. In this way, he very quickly learns to use the shaking of his head to express his disagreement and negative attitude.

You can trace the origin of some gestures on the example of our primitive communal past. The grin of teeth was preserved from the act of attacking the enemy and is still used today. modern man when he grins wickedly or shows his hostility in some other way. Smiling was originally a symbol of threat, but today, when combined with friendly gestures, it denotes pleasure or goodwill.

The “shrug” gesture is a good example of a universal gesture that indicates that a person does not know or does not understand what is being said. This is a complex gesture, consisting of three components: outstretched palms, raised shoulders, and raised eyebrows.

3. Congruence - the coincidence of words and gestures

The signals sent by a person's body are considered congruent if his "non-verbal" matches his verbal statements. Otherwise, his gestures and words are incongruent.

Studies show that non-verbal signals carry 5 times more information than verbal ones, and if the signals are incongruent, people rely on non-verbal information, preferring it to verbal.

It is not uncommon to see a politician standing on the podium with his arms crossed tightly over his chest (defensive posture) with his chin down (critical or hostile posture) and telling the audience how receptive and friendly he is to the ideas being expressed. He may try to convince the audience of his warm, humane attitude by making quick, sharp blows to the podium. Sigmund Freud once noticed that when a patient convinced him that she was happily married, she unconsciously took off her finger and put it back on. wedding ring. Freud understood the meaning of this involuntary gesture and was not surprised when the patient's family problems began to emerge.

The key to the correct interpretation of gestures is to take into account the totality of gestures and the congruence of verbal and non-verbal signals.

Various Factors Influencing Gesture Interpretation

If a person has a weak handshake, then we can conclude that his character is weak. But if a person has arthritis in the joints of the hand, then he will use a weak handshake to keep the hand from pain. That is why artists, musicians, surgeons, and people in other delicate professions where sensitive fingers are required, usually prefer not to shake hands, but if they are forced to do so, they use a gentle handshake.

Sometimes people who wear tight or ill-fitting clothes are constrained in their movements, and this affects the expressiveness of their body language. These are quite rare cases, but they are important to keep in mind in order to understand what psychological impact such things have on non-verbal signals.

How to learn to understand body language?

Challenge yourself to spend at least 15 minutes a day studying and understanding other people's gestures, as well as analyzing your own gestures. An experimental space can be any place where people meet and interact. In particular, the airport is an excellent place to observe the whole spectrum of human gestures, because here people express a whole range of emotions through gestures: longing, anger, horror, grief, happiness, etc. official receptions and dinners are also an excellent observation point, business meetings and evenings, parties. Television also provides a delightful opportunity to explore the features of non-verbals. Turn off the sound while watching a movie and try to guess what is happening on the screen just from the image. Turning on the sound every 5 minutes, you can check the correctness of your understanding of non-verbals.

Doing such exercises will allow you to learn the language of non-verbal communication, which, in turn, will allow you to quickly and accurately distinguish between lies, approval, agreement and disagreement, and much more in a conversation with even the most sophisticated politician or actor.

4.Movement.

The freer the game of movements seems to be, the softer and “rounder” the individual movements turn into one another, the closer the relationship with the rhythm. Tension and relaxation alternate. Rhythm is the natural movement of life and vegetative own movement.

The less certain movements are connected with any specific goal, the more rhythmic they are. Thus, rhythm and relaxation are elements that are interconnected with each other and influence each other. Rhythm serves to relax the soul, to create a feeling that you feel good, and promotes fantasy. And in those cases when we observe rhythmically flowing processes, for example, the ebb and flow of the sea, we have feelings associated with rhythm.

Rubbing our hands, walking back and forth, rocking the upper body are all rhythmic movements that we consciously or unconsciously resort to in order to calm down. Even labor productivity improves if work can be organized in a certain rhythm. The faster the rhythm, the faster the excitation builds up.

Tact. In living nature, tact in its pure form is not observed. Tact arose only through the changing mind and regulating will. Therefore, in human behavior, tact appears only in cases where imitation occurs. mechanical processes, for example, when performing gymnastic exercises, and especially when marching in a parade. Tact clearly limits each individual exercise.

Measured rhythm. If during a relaxed (rhythmic) walk we suddenly set ourselves this or that goal, then our gait changes. We “acquire” tact and begin to demonstrate certain behavior (behavior). Tact allows you to sort of realize the rhythm. This is evident in music, such as playing the piano, and in dancing.

Breaking the rhythm to the beat. If we are deprived peace of mind and indecisive, then our behavior is neither rhythmic nor subdivided into beats. There is a mental breakdown. Speech becomes drawn out, vague and stuttering, movements feverishly uncontrollable. We fall prey to an overvalued idea that we can't handle.

5. Behavior.

Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used for "discussion" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages.

Most body language signals are ambiguous. Their more accurate definition is possible only if the following factors are taken into account: the choice of words, stress, environment, roles, mood, stimuli that caused it, etc.

Body language is, in principle, more truthful than the language of words. We have learned to speak on taboo topics with a certain amount of control, and in confusing situations to resort to lies in the name of salvation. And using the words we have in stock, we more or less succeed. Body language, not accustomed to such "theatrical" behavior, implements the series of gestures inherent in false content reluctantly or does not go at all, which can serve as very valuable information about the true plausibility of what was said.

Our behavior is entirely aimed at satisfying needs, finding its meaning in this. We can consider behavior reasonable if it is determined by needs and motives, moreover, if it is purposeful.

By normal behavior we mean behavior that is adequate to reality. A large area of ​​normal behavior is opposed by an equally large area of ​​behavior that deviates from the norm. We consider behavior to be normal if it is within the expectations of the environment. These expectations determine whether the displayed behavior is normal, abnormal, or disturbed.

instinctive behavior. Instinctive actions are innate ways of making movements that provide the manifestation of primary instincts.

acquired behavior. As a result of lessons learned or self-critical self-observation and appropriate training, the behavior “rewarded” by the environment is reinforced, and the behavior that entails punishment is reduced. This applies to all forms of behavior.

Borrowed behavior.

Borrowed behavior can be divided into:

1. "open" independently;

imitative (The process of borrowing proceeds in most cases unconsciously and imperceptibly for ourselves).

reactive behavior. Our behavior is justified by internal and external stimuli.

Appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Behavior can be qualitatively and quantitatively adequate and inadequate.

When the situation experienced in this moment, is "handled" in an unbiased and open manner. Then the situation receives a correct assessment of its specificity and intensity. An appropriate response follows.

A specifically correct and appropriate in quality way of behavior, which is absolutely correct in essence or content, but in intensity (quantitatively) does not correspond to the situation. Behavior is either too "strong" or too "weak". Behavior can become too “strong” if the restraining apparatus fails.

Behavior can also be quantitatively inadequate in sound production (if laughter begins with a loud cry or if someone in a certain situation laughs too loudly). Unnecessarily “weak” behavior also belongs to quantitatively inadequate behaviors. Its cause is emotional lethargy, weakness, insufficient life force. Where it is necessary and necessary to react strongly, powerfully, either no reaction occurs at all, or a very weak response action or reaction takes place.

If someone either misunderstands us or does not understand us at all, or if the current situation is either not taken into account or is assessed incorrectly, then behavior may arise that, although it will be correct and appropriate in its manifestations and “quantities,” will not match quality. To qualitatively inappropriate behavior give reasons:

1. if someone for a long time "accumulates" irritation (anger);

2. if there is no ability to contact with the environment (an indifferent, like a petrified participant, in general, a cheerful company);

3. if a person is obsessed with overvalued ideas and for nothing else, there is no room left.

Behavior may be quantitatively and qualitatively imperfect or incomplete. If any person for a long time suppressed anger caused by certain situations suddenly “explodes”, then in most cases the quality and quantity are exaggerated. Behavior is qualitatively incomplete if it does not reach the degree of formality expected by the environment. The reason for this may be “failures” within the personality itself and “interference” arising from the influence of the environment.

responses to behavior. Any vigorous activity, any behavior of this or that individual causes different reactions in others: tolerance, encouragement, condemnation. Tolerant behavior persists in most cases. Rewarded behavior is reinforced as the individual seeks recognition from their social environment. Deprecated behavior is suppressed (only rarely forgotten and eliminated) or practiced in an environment where it is tolerated or encouraged.

symbolic behavior. We understand the mode of action when what is to be communicated is not expressed concretely, but by means of one symbol or another.

alternative behavior. That is, behavior that is different in its characteristics can have the same meaning.

combined behavior. In addition to signals, each of which independently has certain value, there are also those that become understandable only in conjunction with others. This happens when we are dealing with combined behavior: there are fundamentally important elements in it, the meaning of which is modified with the help of other elements.

Relic behavior. This is a remnant of behavior expressed in body language in the old days or at an earlier stage. cultural development. Personal relict behavior "grows" from own experience, in most cases of early childhood, and represents a behavior that has developed independently. General relic behavior originates in earlier periods of cultural development and is a borrowed behavior.

Aggressive behavior. Psychology defines aggression as offensive behavior driven by affect. Our aggressiveness can manifest itself in relation to other people, to various public institutions (state, school, church) and in relation to our own self.

Bad behavior. Almost any action can be offensive if it is out of time or inappropriate.

Refusal. Withdrawal behavior can be demonstrated by directly touching and pushing the partner away, or by extending the arm with the palm upright.

mockery. The one who scoffs expresses his hostility, masking it with frivolous behavior. This also includes hidden fun - the palm covers the mouth - when laughter is suppressed.

symbolic insult. In a given culture, we meet different gestures to express a symbolic insult. If someone is “fed up with someone”, then this is signaled by a hand raised to the throat, the palm of which looks down. Another signal is tapping the index finger on the temple as a symbol of the fact that a person “is not all at home”, or spitting at someone’s feet or in the direction of someone they want to offend.

Conclusion.

The language of facial expressions and gestures existed long before the advent of spoken language. However, the scientific study of this phenomenon began only in the last thirty years and gained particular popularity in the 70s. AT recent times psychology pays special attention to this issue, although I believe that body language and its significance for human communication should be studied in educational institutions, because gestures, facial expressions and movements of a person are accurate indicators of his inner state of mind, thoughts, emotions and desires.

No one can say anything without intonation, facial expressions, gestures. We are constantly in some kind of posture that can be interpreted in some way.

In fact, the surrounding reality is the best scientific and testing ground. Consciously observing one's own gestures and the gestures of others is the best way studies of communication techniques used by the most complex and interesting biological organism - man.

So, along with verbal, non-verbal means of communication are very significant and diverse: facial expressions, posture, gestures, movements, gait, demeanor, up to the distance at which communicating individuals are from each other.

Non-verbal signals are especially valuable because they are spontaneous, unconscious and, unlike words, always sincere.

Research on non-verbal communication is still ongoing and, as mentioned above, in interpersonal communication, 60-70% of emotional meaning is conveyed by non-verbal means, and only the rest is due to meaningful speech. Modern research has confirmed the observations of Charles Darwin and other insightful people that non-verbal reactions are less controlled and give out the real thoughts of the speaker more frankly than spoken words.

On the other hand, non-verbal languages, like verbal ones, differ from each other.

Our wordless language is the result of part instinct, part learning, part imitation. And it changes depending on the cultural space in which a person grew up. After all, each society has its own norms of behavior that differ from the norms of behavior in another. For example, the average American is accustomed to show his emotions more vividly, to be more relaxed, while the British, in my opinion, are more reserved. Therefore, it will not be very strange if an Englishman seems like a bore to a resident of America.

For example, in Georgia, as a rule, it is not customary for a girl to walk down the street unaccompanied by an older woman or man, since it is believed that such a girl shows her sexual availability. And therefore, a resident of Georgia who has arrived in another country may have a misunderstanding of local customs.

In general, it seems to me that there are more differences in non-verbal languages ​​than similarities. In my opinion, most of inherited non-verbal cues are a means of expressing our emotions, mostly facial expressions. All other gestures are perceived by us from other people, and, therefore, change from culture to culture, and even from locality to locality. Therefore, it is so important, in my opinion, in communicating with a person, not only to speak with him in the same verbal, for example, English, language, but also to know a kind of “non-verbal slang”, which, no doubt, will help mutual understanding of the interlocutors.

body language bible

Facial expressions, postures, mannerisms, gait, gaze - a complete decoding of all body movements, by which you can easily unravel the real feelings and thoughts of other people. Also, this book will help you become aware of your own non-verbal signals, teach you how to use them for effective communication.

New body language

The authors have significantly expanded and supplemented the publication. “Reading any person like a book”, choosing the right line of conduct, feeling confident and at ease in any situation, making the right decisions - all this is now real and accessible to everyone. Learn a new, modern version of body language and you will certainly succeed in everything!

Why do men lie and women cry

World-famous interpersonal experts Allan and Barbara Pease, in their clever and fascinating book, tried to find answers to the questions that a woman asks herself when she wakes up on a Sunday morning, and which she tells herself

How to make a man listen and a woman be silent

Allan and Barbara Pease will teach you how to retreat from the battlefield in time, and sometimes avoid the fight itself. Practical tips that are easy to follow will help you not only establish warm and trusting relationships in the family, but also make your life more harmonious and happier.

Speak Accurately… How to Combine the Joy of Communication with the Benefits of Persuasion

This book, written by international "communication technology" experts, will teach you how to separate formal politeness phrases from grains of truth and decipher non-verbal cues. You will be able to appreciate the sincerity of a partner and correctly interpret his thoughts, and the ability to compliment and listen carefully will allow you not only to succeed in your personal life, but will also lift you to the top of your professional career, make you a "master of conversation."

Gratitude

Here are a few people who have contributed directly or indirectly to this book, sometimes without even knowing it:

Dr. John Tickel, Dr. Dennis Whiteley, Dr. Andre Davril, Professor Philip Hunsaker, Trevor Dolby, Armin Gontermann, Lothar Menne, Ray and Ruth Pease, Malcolm Edwards, Ian Marshall, Laura Meehan, Ron and Toby Hale, Darryl Whitby, Susan Lamb, Sadaki Hayashi, Deb Surtens, Deb Inksman, Doreen Carroll, Steve Wright, Derrin Hinch, Dana Reeves, Ronnie Corbett, Vanessa Feltz, Esther Rantzen, Jonathan Coleman, Trish Goddard, Kerry-Ann Kennerly, Burt Newton, Roger Moore, Lenny Henry, Ray Martin, Mike Walsh, Don Lane, Ian Leslie, Ann Diamond, Jerry and Sherri Meadows, Stan Zermarnik, Darrell Somers, Andres Kepes, Leon Biner, Bob Geldof, Vladimir Putin, Andy McNab, John Howard, Nick and Katherine Grainer, Bruce Courtney, Tony and Sheri Blair, Greg and Kathy Owen, Lindy Chamberlain, Mike Stoller, Jerry and Kathy Bradbeer, Ty and Patty Boyd, Mark Victor Hansen, Brian Tracy, Kerry Packer, Ian Botham, Helen Richards, Tony Greig, Simon Townsend, Diana Spencer, Princes William and Harry, Prince Charles, Dr. Desmond Morris, Princess Anne, David and Ian Goodwin, Ivan Franghi, Victoria Singer, John Nevin, Richard Otton, Rob Edmonds, Jerry Hutton, John Hepworth, Bob Hessler, Gay Hubert, Ian MacKillop, Delia Mills, Pamela Anderson.

Wayne Mugridge, Peter Opie, David Rose, Alan White, Rob Winch, Ron Tuckey, Barry Markoff, Christina Maher, Sally and Jeff Burch, John Fenton, Norman and Glenda Leonard,

Dori Simmonds, whose attention and enthusiasm helped us write this book.

Introduction

A man's nails, the sleeves of his raincoat, his shoes, trousers, calluses on his hands, facial expression, cufflinks, movements - all this says a lot about a person.

A careful observer, by combining the observed signs, can come to an almost unmistakable conclusion.

SHERLOCK HOLMES, 1892

As a child, I always understood that people often say things that are not at all what they think and feel. And by understanding people's true thoughts and feelings and responding appropriately to their needs, you can achieve your own goals. When I was eleven, I began my working career as a sales agent. After school, I sold rubber sponges for washing dishes to earn some pocket money. I very quickly learned to understand whether the person who opened the door for me was going to buy my product or not. If I was escorted out, but at the same time the person’s palms were open, I understood that I could be persistent. Such people never showed aggression. When I was politely asked to leave, and at the same time pointed at the door with a finger or a clenched hand, I felt that it was really better to leave. I liked trading, I understood that I could achieve success in this business. In high school, I started selling dishes in the evenings. Then I managed to earn money for my first big purchase. Trading allowed me to communicate with people and study them up close. I have learned to identify potential buyers by body language. These skills proved invaluable in the disco. I accurately determined which of the girls would agree to dance with me, and which one would be better not to approach.

When I was twenty years old, I entered insurance company and managed to achieve notable success. I became the youngest employee to sell a million dollars worth of policies in a year. My achievements have been commended. I was lucky because my knowledge of body language, acquired in school, turned out to be quite applicable in a new field of study. I realized that I can succeed in any business related to communicating with people.

The world is not at all what it seems

Understanding what is really happening to a person is not very easy, but possible. You must mentally analyze what you see and hear, and in doing so, take into account the circumstances in which you are. And then you can draw correct conclusions. Most people see only what they think they actually see.

To clarify what I mean, I'll tell you a short story.

Two men are walking through the woods. They pass by a large black hole.

“And the hole seems to be deep,” one remarks. “Let’s throw a couple of pebbles at it to test the depth.”

They throw a pebble and wait. No sound.

- Wow! The hole is really deep. Let's throw that big stone at her. There will definitely be sound from him.

They throw a big stone, they wait, but again there is no sound.

“I saw a railroad car in the bushes here,” one of the men remarks. “If we drop it down the hole, we’ll definitely hear a sound.”

They pull out a heavy wagon, push it into the hole, the wagon disappears, but there is no sound, still silence in response.

Suddenly, a goat appears from the neighboring bushes, rushing at a terrible speed. It flies between the men, flies into the air and disappears into the hole.

A farmer appears from the bushes and asks:

- Hey guys! Have you seen my goat?

“Of course you have! Will you forget this! He swept past us like the wind and jumped into that hole!

“No,” the farmer shakes his head. “That was not my goat. I tied mine to a sleeping car.

Do you know your own hand?

Sometimes we are convinced that we know something like our own hand, but experiments show that only 5% of people are able to recognize their own hand from a photograph. For a TV program, we did a simple experiment that proved that most people have no idea about body language. At the end of the hotel lobby, we installed a large mirror in such a way that the incoming people had the impression of a long corridor. On the ceiling, we hung climbing plants so that they were located at the height of human growth. Entering the lobby, a person saw his own reflection, and he had the impression that someone was walking towards him. He could not recognize the “other person”, because the plants suspended from the ceiling hid his face. However, the outlines of the figure and movement were clearly visible. Each guest stared at the “coming one” for five or six seconds, and then approached the porter's desk. At the bar, we asked if the man recognized the one who was walking towards him. 85% of men answered in the negative. Most men are unable to recognize themselves in the mirror. One even asked, “That fat, ugly guy?” We were not at all surprised that 58% of women said that there was a mirror in front of them, and 30% answered that the woman walking towards them seemed familiar to them.

Most men and almost half of women have no idea how they look below the neck.

How to deal with body language contradictions?

Almost everyone understands the body language of politicians very well, because we know that politicians constantly pretend that they believe in what they absolutely do not believe, and pretend not to be who they really are. They spend most of their time pretending, dodging, dodging, deceiving, hiding emotions and feelings, hiding behind smoke screens and mirrors, greeting imaginary friends in the crowd. But we instinctively feel that their bodies are sending us conflicting signals. Therefore, we prefer to see politicians up close in order to bring them to light.

What signal tells us that a politician is lying? His lips move.

For one television program, we conducted an experiment. This time we used the local tourist office. Tourists entered the bureau to get information about sights and interesting places cities. They were directed to the counter, where they talked with a bureau employee - a young man with blond hair and a mustache, in a white shirt and tie. After a few minutes of talking, the young man leaned under the counter to get the booklets. And then a completely different man appeared from there - shaven, with dark hair, in a blue shirt and without a tie. He continued to talk to the tourist from the same place where the first employee had left off. Surprisingly, almost half of the tourists did not notice that they were talking to another person. Neither men nor women paid attention either to the change in the nature of the body language, or to the completely different appearance of the interlocutor. If you don't have the innate ability to read body language cues, you're likely missing out on a lot. important information. In this book, we will tell you about what you do not notice.

How We Wrote This Book

Barbara and I wrote this book based on my earlier book Body Language. We have not only significantly expanded the previous edition, but also conducted research in new scientific disciplines- such as evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology, and also used data obtained using nuclear - magnetic resonance, which gave us an idea of ​​​​the processes occurring in the human brain. We tried to write our book in such a way that you can start reading it from anywhere. We focused on body movements, gestures and facial expressions, because this is what you should be interested in when communicating with another person. This book will help you become aware of your own non-verbal cues and teach you how to use them to communicate effectively. We will help you achieve what you want.

In this book, we have isolated and discussed in detail each component of body language in accessible terms so that everyone can understand us. However, we have tried our best to avoid oversimplification.

Surely there will be those among our readers who will raise their hands to the sky in horror, exclaiming that learning body language is just another way to learn how to manipulate other people for their own purposes. But we didn't write our book for that! We just wanted to help you learn to communicate more effectively with other people, to better understand your interlocutors and yourself. Understanding body language will make your life clearer and easier. Ignorance and lack of understanding breed fear and prejudice, making us overly critical of others and ourselves. The hunter does not need to study the birds - he can simply shoot them and bring them home as a trophy. Learning body language makes communicating with another person an interesting and enjoyable process.

For simplicity, we everywhere use the words "he", "him", "him", meaning by it representatives of both sexes.

Your Body Language Dictionary

I wrote the first book as a guide for salespeople, managers, negotiators, and executives. This book covers almost every aspect of human life. It can be used at work, at home and on a date. It is the result of more than thirty years of work in the field of human relations. We have tried to give you the necessary "dictionary" that would allow you to correctly understand the feelings and thoughts of other people. Here you will find answers to the most frequently asked questions about people's behavior and will be able to correct your own behavior. Imagine that you have been in dark room. She was furnished, her walls were covered with wallpaper, but you never saw them. And suddenly someone turned on the light! Our book is the lamp that will help you really see what has always been around you. And now you will know exactly what the world around you really is and how you can live in it.

Allan Pease

Chapter 1
Learning the basics

For the representative of the Western world, this gesture means "good", for the Italian - "one", for the Japanese - "five".

Each of us has acquaintances who, entering a room full of people, in five minutes can tell exactly who, with whom and in what relationship. The ability to understand the relationships between people and their thoughts on behavior is an ancient system of communication, and people used it long before the advent of oral speech.

Before the invention of radio, most of the communication took place in writing - through letters, books and newspapers. Dirty politicians and bad speakers could succeed by working hard and writing a good, polished article. Abraham Lincoln was not a brilliant orator, but he was excellent at expressing his thoughts on paper. The era of radio opened the way for speakers. Winston Churchill was considered a unique speaker, but he would hardly have succeeded today, in the age of television.

Today, politicians understand that their success is determined by appearance and image. Most serious politicians have body language consultants who help them appear sincere, caring and honest, although in reality such qualities are completely out of character for them.

It seems incredible that, over thousands of years of evolution, body language began to be studied only in the 60s of the twentieth century. Many people today consider speech to be the main form of communication. In an evolutionary sense, speech is a very recent development. It is used, as a rule, to convey facts and data. Oral speech appeared about 500,000 years ago. During this time, the human brain has tripled in size. Prior to this, the main form of transmission of emotions and feelings was body language and sounds made by the throat. I must say that the situation has not changed much today. But because we focus on spoken words, most of us don't pay the slightest attention to body language. But he still plays important role in our life.

Nevertheless, many expressions have been preserved in oral speech, showing how important body language is in human life.

Take the weight off your shoulders. Keep at arm's length. Meet face to face. Don't bow your head. Shoulder to shoulder. Take the first step.

Sometimes such a phrase is not easy to take calmly, but it is simply impossible not to understand its meaning.

At the beginning it was...

Silent film actors were the first to actively use body language, as it was the only means of communication available to them. Good actors used gestures and body signals well, bad actors poorly. With the advent of sound cinema, the non-verbal aspects of acting began to be given less importance. Many silent film actors were unclaimed. Success was achieved only by those who skillfully combined verbal and non-verbal skills.

Among scientific works devoted to body language, we can highlight the work of Charles Darwin "The Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals", published in 1872. However, only scientists are familiar with this work. And yet it has greatly influenced modern research on facial expressions and body language. Many of Darwin's ideas and observations are still widely used by researchers around the world today. Since the writing of Darwin's work, scientists have identified and recorded almost a million non-verbal cues and signals. Albert Merabyan, a pioneer in the study of body language, who worked in the 1950s, discovered that the information of any message is divided as follows: 7% of it is transmitted verbally, that is, in words, 38% - vocally (tone of voice, stress and way pronunciation of sounds) and 55% - non-verbal signals.

The meaning of what you want to say is conveyed to a greater extent by how you look at the moment of speech, and not at all by your words.

Anthropologist Ray Birdwistell has done original research on non-verbal communication. He called his observations "kinesics". Birdwistell assessed the degree of non-verbal communication between people. He came to the conclusion that average person speaks approximately 10–11 minutes a day, and the average sentence lasts only 2.5 seconds. Berwistell also found that a person can produce and recognize about 250,000 facial expressions.

Like Merabian, Birdwistell found that the verbal component of interpersonal communication is less than 35%, and over 65% of the information transmitted during communication is transmitted non-verbally. Our analysis of numerous sales transactions and negotiations conducted in the 70s and 80s showed that body language helps convey 60% to 80% of the information at the negotiating table. Most people form an opinion about a stranger in less than four minutes of conversation. Research also shows that when negotiations are conducted over the phone, the participant who relies on stronger arguments wins. If the negotiations are conducted in the process of personal communication, the result is not so predictable, since the final decision largely depends on what we see, and not just on what we hear.

Why are we sometimes misunderstood?

Although this approach may seem incorrect, when meeting strangers for the first time, we very quickly draw conclusions about their friendliness, desire for dominance and sexual attractiveness. And at the same time, we do not look at the interlocutor's eyes at all.

Most researchers believe that words are used by a person mainly to convey information, while body language helps to convey interpersonal relationships. In some cases, body language effectively replaces verbal messages. For example, a woman can give a man a "killing look" and use that look to convey a very clear message without even opening her mouth.

Regardless of culture, words and movements are combined with a high degree predictability. Birdwistell was the first to notice that a trained person, after listening to a speaker on the radio, can absolutely determine exactly what movements the speaker made. Birdwistell learned to determine what language a person is speaking simply by observing his gestures.

It is difficult for many to come to terms with the fact that people are just biological beings, practically the same animals. We are representatives of primates - Homo sapiens. We are hairless monkeys who have learned to walk on two legs and have a developed brain. But like any other animal, we are subject to the same biological laws. It is biology that governs our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. The most amazing thing is that people very rarely realize that their postures, movements and gestures say something completely different from what they are trying to say with words.

How body language reveals emotions and thoughts

Body language is an external reflection of a person's emotional state. Each gesture or movement is the key to the feelings that a person is experiencing at the moment. For example, a man who is aware that he is beginning to gain weight can, in a moment of thought, twist the crease under his chin with his fingers. A woman who realizes that her hips are too full will unconsciously tug at her skirt and pull it down. A person who is fearful or defensive will cross their arms or legs. A man talking to a buxom interlocutor consciously tries not to look at her breasts, but at the same time unconsciously makes groping gestures with his hands.

Prince Charles found a spicy companion

In order to understand body language, you must understand the emotional state of the person at the time of the conversation, hear what is being said, and take into account the circumstances in which the conversation is being conducted. This will allow you to separate fact from speculation, reality from fantasy. Not so long ago, we humans gave excessive great importance words and oratory. However, most people have no understanding of body language cues and the impact they have. And this despite the fact that we know for sure: most of the information in the process of conversation is transmitted using body signals. Let's take an example. French President Chirac, US President Ronald Reagan, Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke actively use gestures to express the relative scale of the problem under discussion in their own minds. Bob Hawke once advocated an increase in the salaries of politicians, comparing their income with the income of the heads of large firms and enterprises. He argued that executive salaries were exorbitant and that his proposed pay rise for politicians was relatively small. Each time, mentioning the income of politicians, Hawk spread his arms about a meter. When he spoke about the salaries of managers, he spread his arms only 30 centimeters. The distance between the prime minister's palms showed that he perfectly understood the significant benefits of his proposal for politicians, despite all the verbal tricks.

By the end of the 20th century there was new type a sociologist, a specialist in the field of non-verbalism. Just as an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, so a non-verbalist enjoys observing non-verbal signs and signals when people communicate. He watches them at formal receptions, at the beach, on television, at work - everywhere where people interact with each other. He studies the behavior of people, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost unbelievable that in over a million years of human evolution, non-verbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only from the early sixties, and the public became aware of their existence only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research on the non-verbal aspects of communication done by behavioral scientists before 1970, but even today most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.

Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the founders of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means screen communication. Each actor was classified as good or bad based on how they could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When sound films became popular and less attention was paid to the non-verbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to predominate on the screen.

As for the technical side of the study of the problem of body language; Perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's "The Expression of the Emotions in Humans and Animals", published in 1872. It stimulated modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and his observations are recognized by researchers today. all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded more than 1000 non-verbal signs and signals.

Albert Meyerabian found that the transmission of information occurs through verbal means (only words) by 7%, by sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and by non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissle has done similar research on the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person only speaks words for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence lasts no more than 2.5 seconds on average. Like Meyerabian, he found that less than 35% of the information in a conversation is verbal, and more than 65% of the information is conveyed through non-verbal means of communication.

Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to "discuss" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can send a murderous look to a man, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him without even opening her mouth.

Regardless of a person's cultural level, words and their accompanying movements match with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissle even argues that a well-trained person can tell from their voice what movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissle learned to determine what voice a person is speaking by observing his gestures at the moment of speech.

It is difficult for many people to accept that man is, after all, a biological being. Homo sapiens is a species of large, hairless monkey that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements can contradict what his voice says.

Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions

When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues to verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone has told a lie, we really mean that we have noticed a discrepancy between the body language and the words spoken by this person. Lecturers call this the feeling of the audience. For example, if listeners sit deep in their chairs with their chins down and arms crossed over their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that his message will not succeed. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. And an unreceptive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.

Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to capture the smallest details. Therefore, few of the husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man in his eyes, which he does not even suspect.

This female intuition is especially well developed in women involved in the upbringing of young children.

For the first few years, a mother relies solely on non-verbal communication with her child, and it is believed that due to their intuition, women are better suited to negotiate than men.

Congenital, Genetic, Acquired and Cultural Signals.

Despite the fact that much research has been done, there are heated discussions about whether non-verbal signals are innate or acquired, whether they are transmitted genetically or acquired in some other way. Evidence comes from observations of blind, deaf, and deaf-mute people who could not learn non-verbal language through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made on the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives, monkeys and macaques, was studied.

The findings of these studies indicate that gestures are classifiable. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, indicating that this ability is either innate or genetic.

The German scientist Aibl-Eibesfeldt found that the ability to smile in children who are deaf or blind from birth manifests itself without any training or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Sorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's assumptions about innate gestures when they studied the facial expressions of people from five very different cultures. They found that representatives different cultures used the same facial expressions when showing certain emotions, which led them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.

When you cross your arms over your chest, do you cross your right hand over your left, or your left over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done so. In one case they will feel comfortable, in the other case not. From this we can conclude that this is perhaps a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.

There is also controversy over whether some gestures are acquired and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coats starting from the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coats from the left sleeve. When a man passes a woman on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually walks away, turning away from him. Does she do it instinctively, protecting her breasts? Is this a woman's innate gesture, or has she learned it unconsciously from watching other women?