Wedding. Who can be a witness at a wedding? What day to get married, is it possible on Saturday?

Marriage, family, wedding - these are issues that today are actively considered from various points of view, not only in the church media. Adding urgency to these discussions is the practice, which has already become common for many, of frequently changing so-called “partners”, without consolidating the relationship within the framework of the family and without any obligations to each other. Of course, this applies primarily to people who are far from the Church, but let’s be honest, even church marriages do not always stand the test of time and circumstances. This is why perhaps one of the main topics around which the discussion centered was remarriage. How possible is it to enter into a second and third marriage with the blessing of the Church, that is, into a marriage consecrated by the Church Sacrament? We are talking about this with a famous confessor, rector of the Church of the Intercession Holy Mother of God in Akulovo.

- Father Valerian, is it possible in principle to perform a second wedding while your spouse is alive?

With a living spouse, according to the Holy Gospel, only under one condition: if the previous marriage broke up due to adultery. For example, she got married for the second time while her husband was alive (with the blessing of Metropolitan Philaret). Of course, this was an exceptional case, but anything can happen. The Church follows the path of mercy, the path of love.

There are three provisions in the Church: “impossible”, “not allowed” and “not accepted”. “You can’t” means you can’t. “It’s not allowed” - for example, bows are not allowed according to the charter, there are some other circumstances when something is not supposed. And there are some things that are customary to do in a certain way - or not customary.

There are only two rites for performing the sacrament of marriage. Moreover, the second rank is for those entering into a second marriage (if one of the spouses is widowed). And with a living spouse - a special case. If the other half leaves the family and does not want to live with the former spouse, then - as the Lord said: “he will give a book of licentiousness...” But, He adds, “for your hardness of heart.” In general, except because of adultery, a spouse should not let his other half go. But it happens that, as a human being, one of the spouses cannot stand, for example, the drinking of the other or something else.

And now the big disaster is that now everything is transferred to money. Reproaches from spouses are often heard: “You don’t earn money!” or “You don’t earn enough!” You never know how much someone earns! But today the world is ruled by capital, money, they are “at the forefront” in the modern world.

Of course, there is no third wedding. But today everything is so confused with us that it is difficult to understand: did they get married? How to count the next time: the third, fourth or fifth? They got married, the marriage is considered... And now the so-called “civil marriage” (GB) has appeared. “Civil fornication” in abbreviation, aka - . This, of course, is the problem of our time...

In these cases, there is only one way out: to pray and ask for admonition from God. It is difficult to figure out who is right and who is wrong: in any story there is the fault of each person. Of course, the one who is smarter is more to blame. And how the Lord judges is His holy will.

When a priest is ordained, he takes off his wedding ring and places it on the throne, thereby symbolizing that he is betrothed to God...

This is his special ministry. A priest can only get married once.

However, the draft of the new document brings up for discussion the question of the possibility of a second wedding, including for the priest. We all know situations when a young priest, after the sudden or tragic death of his wife, is left alone with a large family in his arms. In addition to his church service, he is also bound by everyday responsibilities, and often these priests can barely make ends meet - we have many poor parishes.

In fact, the history of the Church knows such examples, but there has never been any talk of any “second wedding.” For example, he became a widower and was left with his family in his arms. We all know him life path…

The fact is that here it is important to discern the ways of God’s Providence - it is impossible to speak abstractly. This means that this is the will of God.

You see what the matter is: if we take some actions, choose some workarounds for ourselves, it means that we are not honest with God and ourselves. Military example: if you choose military career, you know: either you will remain crippled after the war, or you will die altogether! But you chose this path and are ready for it. Or have you chosen a career as a sailor: they often don’t see their family at all for six months - and you have to accept this state of affairs. This is the choice of each individual person! Another thing is that not everyone is seriously aware of this.

I once told my father about my desire to go on a long voyage, and he replied: “While you are young, you are drawn to travel. And when you have a family and you hang out somewhere far from her, you will howl like a beluga!” He just said this figuratively, but there was also a hint in his words: who can stand it? And not everyone can be a doctor, and not everyone can work in a morgue. These are the characteristics of each ministry.

Many people often raise questions about the connection between the Church and modern state. After all, today the Church considers marriage valid and performs a wedding only if there is a civil registration of marriage. Yes, we know the words of the Apostle Paul: “There is no authority except from God.” And yet... How can the Church recognize a marriage that is only documented, and only on the basis of this document perform the Sacrament of Wedding? Isn’t one church wedding, namely the Sacrament, not enough, because “marriages take place in Heaven” (if we omit, of course, the formal side of this issue)?

We are no more than the Apostle Peter, who said: “Even if everyone denies, I will not deny!” - and then he renounced three times, and even with an oath. Therefore, it is very difficult to predict how people getting married will behave. Often you don’t know what to say to yourself, much less about other people’s plans. Of course, we often have to deal with this and deal with it. For example, people dispersed. Who owns the house? But it is not registered to anyone - it turns out: it does not belong to anyone... And so on. Of course, this is not the most important thing in the spiritual sense, but if the formal side is not so important, why not do it? Why not sign if there is no difference? This has nothing to do with the Sacrament, why not do it? If there is no difference: sign, get married, live...

This is the same as in the case of fasting. They say: “Does it matter what we eat?” Yes, it doesn’t matter: just eat lean! Or again: “What difference does it make whether we eat with butter or without (vegetable) oil?” Well, if there is no difference, then eat without oil!

- Is obedience to the Church important?

Yes, obedience to the Church. It’s not difficult, really: why not sign? The fact is that the Church still recognizes marriage and treats marriage with respect.

We must understand that in general marriage is not a church institution, it is a civil institution. existed even before Christianity; this is an ancient institution among many peoples. But if a person had a second marriage, of course, he cannot be a priest (even if it was an unwed marriage). It was still a marriage! According to the charter - yes.

Of course, there are exceptions here, there is episcopal power, but in general - this is so!

- Some priests act in some cases « according to oikonomia,” although often such “oikonomia” does not meet with a response in the hearts of believers. And there are rare cases when a person from a monastery comes into the world and gets married...

According to the Charter, such a person has no right to get married! Civil marriage is possible in such cases, but not church marriage!

I would like to ask you, dear Father Valerian, to address our readers with a pastoral word. Today is such an evil time when many of us seem to live within the fence of the Church, but are subject to our own laws and regulations, developed personally for ourselves, which seem more acceptable. Often everyone builds some kind of private church life for themselves, without having the opportunity to live the life of the parish.

When we talk about what existed before the revolution and exists today in some Local Churches(for example in Serbia), it is difficult for us to imagine what it really is. There in the parish they often gather after the Liturgy, discuss some pressing issues, and simply talk about the Gospel they have read... What do you think is important for the parish today?

There's one thing to remember here important thing: Let's compare Serbia and Russia in size: a small team is always easier to manage!

Once upon a time, I was asked a question about globalization. And before that, I once read an article (regardless of this) that if a person creates an analogue of the human brain (stuffed with all sorts of microchips), and one ten-thousandth of these elements does not work, it means that this whole system will no longer work , hopeless! Then Father John Vavilov told me: they seemed to have come to the conclusion that the more complex a person is, the more reliable he is. But it turned out to be the opposite: the more difficult it is, the more hopeless it is. Another Western freethinker said: “For large states, dictatorship is necessary.” This kind of public management is only possible for small societies, because there is still some way to survive there.

Moreover, the cell attendant of Bishop Nestor, now deceased, told me interesting story. When they asked him how he felt about building communism, he replied: “A useless exercise!” They asked him: “Are you against it?” - “No, I don’t mind, but it’s a useless exercise!” - "And why?" - “Yes, because the first Christians already had everything in common, but they didn’t last long!” And then they didn’t experiment anymore, because it was no longer possible.

So, this comparison with Serbia, for example, can be somehow understood from this example: if the organization is small, it is easier to arrange all this there.

After all, we also have separate parishes where real parish life takes place. But geographically in big cities they are dispersed, which is why everything is more complicated here! This concerns parish life.

And if we talk about self-inflicted behavior, then St. Theophan the Recluse spoke about this. He wrote that the spirit of selfishness, the spirit of division led to the fact that the Western Church separated from the Eastern. And then this spirit of selfhood began to divide the Western Church (and the Eastern, by the way) into all sorts of national and some other branches. He is trying to divide the Church. At first there was one Church, then two, then various states arose. Now every city has its own Church. And in the end, as they say, it will be like this: “everything is your own faith.” Saint Theophan wrote about this. So this is all predicted. We need to return to our roots, to what came before us.

For example, there was Optina, there were Father Georgy Kossov... There were individual lamps with their own parishes - we must return to these models. And then - as it turns out. That's how it will work!

- One of these days yours will be published. A new book“How can we equip ourselves?” Please tell us a little about her.

This book contains the words spoken before confession. After all, when the prodigal son “went to a far country,” upon returning to his father he (as it is said in the Gospel) “came to his senses.” “I came to my senses” - that is, he assessed his life, compared it with his previous one, and from this he began a movement towards repentance, a movement towards returning to his home.

This is exactly what it is: “find yourself.” Father Sergius Mechev said about this: “You need to find the image of God in yourself.” And in every person to see the image of God. Because this is exactly what is said in the Gospel: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” And not only will they see God - they will see the image of God in every person! Therefore, for the pure, everything is pure, and for the unclean, everything is unclean. And a sign of purity is not to see the sins of other people. And a sign of uncleanness is precisely when we see only the sins of another person.

This image of God is what you need to find and restore in yourself, first of all. Actually, what is education? Education is the re-creation of the image of God in man. This is the first thing. The second is the ability to think. And only in third place is knowledge. But the first thing is to restore the image of God in yourself, to be educated! That is, to be perfect, “just as your Heavenly Father is perfect”!

The wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church belongs to the Sacraments of the Church, during which, with the mutual promise of those getting down the aisle to remain faithful to each other in any situation, God himself blesses the couple to be one throughout their lives with Christ.

Wedding rules require that the future spouses who have made the decision be baptized according to the laws of Orthodoxy and understand the importance of this rite.

The spiritual essence of a wedding

Jesus in the Bible said that people cannot destroy a union blessed by God. (Matthew 19:4-8).

The wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church is an action performed by priests as intermediaries between God and people, during which two souls merge into one.

Genesis 1:27 says that God created man, notice, not two people, but one - the Lord created male and female.

The sacrament of a couple coming down the aisle consists of calling on the help of the Holy Trinity to give a blessing for their future family life.

During the blessing ceremony, the couple comes under the spiritual protection of the Church, becoming a part of It.

The head of the family is the husband, and to him is Jesus.

The married couple is a prototype of the relationship between Jesus and the Church, where Christ is the groom, and the Church is the bride, awaiting the arrival of His betrothed.

In a small church-family, services also take place in the form of general prayers and reading the Word of God, and the spouses make their own sacrifices for obedience, patience, submission and other Christian sacrifices.

ABOUT family life in Orthodoxy:

Children born to an Orthodox couple are given a special blessing at birth.

Beginning common life, even if Christians are not true doers of the Word of God, rarely attend temple services, they can come to God through the Sacrament of joining two into one.

Only by standing under the crown of God's blessing can one feel the power of His grace.

Sometimes a couple is in love with each other only on a physical level, but this is not enough to build a happy life together.

After the rite of spiritual union, a special connection appears, giving a strong impetus for a long-lasting marriage.

Receiving blessings in the temple, the couple trusts themselves to the protection of the Church, letting Jesus Christ into their life as the Lord of the house.

After the perfect ceremony, God takes marriage into His hands and carries it through life, but subject to the observance of Christian laws by family members and chastity.

Wedding

What is the spiritual process of preparing for a wedding?

The wedding rules in the Orthodox Church state that important event in spiritual life one should prepare. Govenye is a Christian feat of the future family before the Holy Church.

The bride or witness must take care of snow-white festive scarves in advance for this action.

In the absence of guarantors, the crowns are placed on the heads of those getting married, so the young woman prudently makes a hairstyle that will not interfere with the reclining of the crown.

Is it possible for an Orthodox Christian who does not strictly adhere to church canons to get married?

Some people have turned the ceremony of marriage in a temple into a fashionable attribute of a wedding, treating it without any reverence.

Not understanding the spiritual value of the blessing of a future common life, people deprive themselves of the spiritual joy of being under the protection of the Almighty.

Some young people refuse blessings in the temple due to a cooling of faith.

The Creator opens his doors to all Orthodox Christians who want to receive the sanctification of their marriage. No one knows at what time the Holy Spirit will touch the heart of a sinner; perhaps it will happen during the wedding. There is no need to limit God in giving mercy.

Mandatory fasting and communion will help the bride and groom approach the throne of God with reverence.

Prayers for the family:

• Prayers of Blessed Ksenia of Petersburg for family well-being

How to behave in church during the Sacrament

People who rarely attend church services sometimes behave disrespectfully towards sacred objects due to their church illiteracy.

A wedding in a temple is a sacred rite during which it is forbidden to talk, laugh, whisper, much less talk on a mobile phone.

Even the most important people are required to turn off all communications before entering the temple.

Being in the middle of the temple, you should carefully monitor your movement along it so as not to accidentally turn your back on the holy images, especially the iconostasis.

During the ceremony, which takes place after the completion of the Liturgy, the Church gives all its attention to two individuals - the bride and groom, blessing them happy life, in this case, a prayer can be performed for the parents or people who raised the bride and groom.

With reverence and all attention, the young couple fervently prays for the Sacrament of blessing them to take place. future life for many years, until death separates the spouses.

Should a bride cover her head during a wedding?

A snow-white dress and an airy veil are a traditional look for a bride, but new fashion trends have made their own adjustments.

Does a bride need to cover her head during a wedding, what is the point of a small piece of tulle?

The history of covering the head in the temple goes back to the beginning of Christianity, when women of easy virtue who shaved their hair were required to cover themselves with a veil during services.

Over time, head covering shows a woman's status. It is indecent for a married lady to appear in society without a scarf, hat or hood. The Queen of England will never appear in public without covering her hair.

In Orthodoxy, the veil is a symbol of purity and innocence.

Advice! Long hair is a covering for a woman, so each bride chooses her own outfit for the wedding.

What is engagement before wedding?

Betrothal is an event that takes place after the Liturgy. It marks an act emphasizing that the Sacrament of blessing is performed in the presence of the Holy Trinity, before the Holy Face of God, by His good pleasure.

The priest informs the couple of the importance of the event, emphasizing that the sacrament of blessing must be approached with reverent anticipation, with special reverence.

In the face of the Almighty, the groom must understand that he is accepting his wife from the hands of the Savior himself.

The wedding couple stands in front of the entrance to the temple, and the priest, who at this time carries out the mission of the Almighty himself, awaits them at the altar.

The bride and groom, like the ancestors Adam and Eve, stand before the Face of God, ready to begin their common life in purification and holiness.

Just as the pious Tobias drove away demons who opposed church marriage, so the priest blesses the young with the words “In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” lighting church candles, serving to the future husband and wife.

For every blessing pronounced by the clergy, the marrying couple is baptized three times.

The sign of the cross and lit candles symbolize the triumph of the Holy Spirit, whose invisible presence is present during the ceremony.

The light of a candle means that the couple promises one another to keep their flaming love, which does not fade over the years, in purity.

As required by the rules, the betrothal ceremony begins with the praise of the Almighty with the exclamation “Blessed is our God.”

The deacon says the usual prayers and supplications for the young couple on behalf of everyone in the church.

In prayer, the deacon prays to the Creator for the salvation of people who become engaged to the Holy Trinity.

Important! Marriage is a blessed act whose purpose is the continuation of the human race through the birth of children.

In the first prayer according to the Word of God, the Lord hears all the requests of the married couple regarding their salvation.

In reverent silence, a prayer for salvation is secretly read. Jesus Christ is the Bridegroom of His bride, the Church, who is betrothed to Him.

After this, the clergyman puts rings on the groom, then on the bride, and betroths them in the name of the Holy Trinity.

“The servant of God (name of the groom) is engaged to the servant of God (name of the bride) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

“The servant of God (name of the bride) is betrothed to the servant of God (name of the groom) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Great spiritual meaning rings that were lying on the right side throne, as if before the face of the Savior Jesus Christ, they were sanctified, having accepted the power of His grace for unity. Just as rings lie side by side, so the engaged will be together all their lives.

Those getting married receive God's blessing through consecrated rings. After getting engaged, the couple exchanges rings three times.

The ring from the groom on the bride’s hand is a symbol of his love and willingness to be a patron in the family. Just as Jesus loves His Church, so a husband is committed to treating his wife.

The bride puts a ring on the hand of the chosen one, promising him love, devotion, humility, and readiness to accept his help. The engagement ends with a request to the Creator to bless, approve the engagement, signify the rings, and send a Guardian Angel for the new family.

Wedding accessories

Sacrament of the Church - wedding

After the betrothal, with lit candles as a symbol of the Sacrament, the newlyweds move to the middle of the temple, following the priest. The priest offers incense to the Creator with the help of a censer, showing that in this way sincere fulfillment of the commandments of the Lord will be pleasing to the Creator.

The singers sing a psalm.

Psalm 127

Song of Ascension.

Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord and walks in His ways!

You will eat from the labor of your hands: blessed are you, and good to you!

Your wife is like a fruitful vine in your house; Your sons are like olive branches around your table:

so will the man who fears the Lord be blessed!

The Lord will bless you from Zion, and you will see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life;

You will see your sons' sons. Peace on Israel!

Between the lectern with the Gospel, cross and crowns laid out on it and the wedding couple, a cloth or towel is spread.

Before standing on the platform, the bride and groom once again confirm their decision to accept the wedding of their own free will, without any coercion. At the same time, emphasizing that none of them is bound by the promise of marriage with third parties.

The priest appeals to those present at the Sacrament to report facts that impede this union.

For in the future, all obstacles to marriage should be forgotten if they were not voiced before the blessing ceremony.

After this, the getting married couple stands on a towel laid under their feet. There is a sign that whoever stands on the board first will be the head of the house. Everyone present watches these actions with bated breath.

The priest speaks to the groom, asking whether, out of good will, sincere desire, he wants to marry the girl standing in front of him.

After a positive answer, the young man is obliged to confirm that he is not engaged to any other girl and is not bound by any promises to her.

The same questions are asked of the bride, clarifying whether she is going down the aisle under duress and is not promised to another man.

A mutually positive decision is not yet a union sanctified by God. For now, this decision may be the basis for concluding an official marriage in government bodies.

The sacrament of consecration of the new family before the Creator is performed over the officially registered newlyweds, the wedding ceremony begins, litanies are sounded, petitions for well-being, both spiritual and physical, for the newly born family.

The first prayer is filled with a request to Jesus Christ to bless the newlyweds with love for each other, long life, children and the purity of the marital bed. The priest asks for a blessing for the abundance in the house to be greater than the dew in the field, so that there will be everything in it, from grain to oil, allowing it to be shared with people in need.

“Bless this marriage: and give to Your servants a peaceful life, long life, love for each other in a union of peace, a long-lived seed, an unfading crown of glory; make them worthy to see the children of their children, keep their bed unblamed. And grant them from the dew of heaven from above, and from the fatness of the earth; Fill their houses with wheat, wine and oil, and every good thing, so that they share the excess with those in need, and grant to those who are now with us everything necessary for salvation.”

In the second prayer, an appeal to the Holy Trinity should be granted:

• children are like grains on an ear;
• abundance, like grapes on a vine;
• long life to see grandchildren.

“Give them the fruit of the womb, good children, like-mindedness in their souls, exalt them like the cedars of Lebanon, like a vine with beautiful branches, give them a spiked seed, so that, having contentment in everything, they may abound for every good deed that is pleasing to You. And may they see sons from their sons, like the young shoots of an olive tree, around their trunk, and having pleased You, may they shine like lights in the sky in You, our Lord.”

For the third time, a request is made to the Triune God to bless the young as heirs of Adam and Eve, created in the image and likeness of God, to create from them one spiritual flesh and to bless the womb of the wife, bestowing much fruit.

In reverence for the Great Creator, the union of a new couple in Heaven is sanctified and sealed by the Almighty himself.

The time has come for the main wedding ceremony - putting on the crown.

The priest takes the crown, baptizes the young man three times, giving him the image of Jesus Christ, located in front of the crown, to kiss and saying that the servant of God (name) is being married to the servant of God (name) in the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

The same act is performed on the bride, only for the kissing she is offered to kiss the image of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Wedding

Covered with the blessing of crowns, the couple awaits God's blessing as they stand before the face of the Almighty.

The most exciting and solemn moment of the entire Sacrament comes, when the priest, in the name of God, crowns the newlyweds, proclaiming blessings three times.

All those present must sincerely and reverently repeat the words of the priest within themselves, asking the Creator to bless the new family.

The priest seals God's blessing, proclaiming the birth of a new small church. Now it is a cell of a single Church, an indestructible church union. (Matthew 19:6)

At the conclusion of the wedding, the letter of the Apostle Paul to Christians in Ephesus is read, in which he says that a husband and wife are like Jesus and the Church. The husband is obliged to take care of his wife as if he were his own body; the wife’s task is to be submissive to her husband who loves her. (Eph. 5:20-33)

In his first letter to the Church of Corinth, the apostle left recommendations for the couple on behavior in the family to achieve complete harmony. (1 Cor.7:4).

The prayer “Our Father” is read, which the Savior left as a model of appeal to the Creator.

After this, the young couple drinks wine from a common cup, which brings joy, like the wedding at Cana, where Jesus turned water into wine.

The priest connects the right hands of the bride and groom with the help of an stole and covers it with his palm. This action symbolizes the transfer of the wife by the Church, uniting the couple in the name of Jesus Christ.

Taking the young people by the right hands, the priest walks around the lectern three times, performing troparia. Walking in a circle is a prophecy of eternal, never-ending earthly life for a new generation.

After removing the crowns and kissing the icons, the priest reads a few more prayers, after which the newlyweds kiss each other.

In what cases is a church marriage unacceptable?

According to church canons, not every marriage can be blessed in church. There are several contraindications for weddings.

1. Some of the young people have already received the rite of the Sacrament three times. The Church does not solemnize fourth and subsequent marriages permitted by civil law.
2. The couple or one of the members of the future family considers themselves atheists.
3. Unbaptized people cannot walk down the aisle, but they can be baptized as adults, immediately before the ceremony.
4. People who have not officially broken ties in a previous marriage, both according to civil and Christian laws, cannot receive a blessing for further family life.
5. Blood relatives of the bride and groom cannot create a Christian family.

On what days does the wedding not take place?

The canonical rules clearly define the days when blessing ceremonies are not performed:

• throughout all the days of fasting, and there are four of them;
• seven days after Easter;
• 20 days from Christmas to Epiphany;
• on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays;
• before the great temple holidays;
• for the day and on the feast itself of the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord.

Advice! The date of the future wedding should be discussed in advance with your spiritual mentor.

What to do with wedding accessories after the wedding

What to do with candles, scarves and towels that were used during the wedding?

Candles are not just a light, but the embodiment of faith in the fulfillment of requests to the Creator. According to tradition, wedding candles should be wrapped in the handkerchiefs used to hold them and hidden behind icons or in another pious place.

Wedding candles are lit for a short time whenever difficulties visit the house, be it quarrels, illness, financial problems.

As a rule, towels are used to decorate icons with which the newlyweds were blessed in the temple.

In some families, there is a tradition of passing scarves and towels for weddings from generation to generation as a family amulet. Towels can be left at the temple for couples who cannot afford this accessory.

Advice! All traditions remain only traditions, the main thing for a family is love, mutual respect and support for each other.

Watch the wedding video

A wedding in a church is a sacred rite that gives a husband and wife a church blessing for a happy family life and the birth of children. Many couples decide to celebrate this beautiful and touching event. But in order for the ritual to be not just a tribute to fashion, but to become a serious, deliberate step, it is worth knowing its features.

Important conditions for a wedding

It is allowed to get married on the wedding day or after a period of time: a week, a month, years. The main thing is that all conditions provided by the church are met.

Who can get married?

An important condition for the ceremony is the presence of a marriage certificate. In addition, spouses must be baptized Orthodox Christians. However, in some cases, a wedding may be allowed if the spouse is a non-Orthodox Christian, provided that children born in marriage will be baptized in Orthodoxy. Compliance with the marriageable age is also important: the bride must be 16 years old, the groom - 18. There is no need to be afraid of refusal if the wife is pregnant, since, according to the church, children should be born in a married marriage. The wedding can be held even if the spouses have not received a parental blessing, since it can be replaced by the blessing of the confessor.

There are not many restrictions on the sacrament of marriage. The Church will not approve of the ritual between unbaptized, atheists, blood, and also spiritual relatives, for example, between godparents of the child, between godfather and godson. This ceremony is allowed to be held no more than three times. It is also prohibited to get married if this is already your fourth officially registered marriage.

When is the ceremony allowed?

Often newlyweds decide to get married on the day with the official registration of marriage. But, given that such a sacrament of Orthodoxy is a rather serious step, there is no need to rush into the ceremony: it can be postponed until the birth of a child or carried out after several years of official marriage.

This ritual is not performed every day. Newlyweds are married 4 days a week on Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. However, it is worth considering that there are 4 fasts throughout the year, during which church marriages are not celebrated:
- Rozhdestvensky - lasts November 28 - January 6;
- Great - seven weeks before Orthodox Easter;
- Petrov - depends on the date of Easter, lasts from 8 to 42 days;
- Uspensky - lasts from August 14 to August 27.

The church will also refuse to hold weddings on significant days:
- September 11 - Beheading of John the Baptist;
- September 27 - Exaltation of the Holy Cross;
- from January 7 to January 19 - Christmastide;
- on Maslenitsa;
- on Bright Week (the week after Easter).

Even if the day you choose does not fall on the listed dates, it is still better to go to church to clarify everything with the priest. In addition, the bride must calculate so that on the chosen date there will be no “ critical days", since it is impossible to appear in church at this time.

What should precede the wedding ceremony?

It is necessary to prepare spiritually for this ritual. This means that before the wedding the bride and groom need to pray, confess, take communion, and undergo a three-day fast (it is necessary to abstain from food of animal origin). Newlyweds should not enter into carnal relations before marriage, and this condition also applies to a couple who decided to get married after several years of marriage. They need to refrain from intimate relationships for several days before the ceremony.

Preparation for the sacrament of wedding

Choosing a church, communicating with a priest

To decide where to get married, you can go through different temples and choose the church where you feel most comfortable. For a magnificent, solemn ceremony, a large cathedral is suitable, for a quiet, secluded ceremony - a small church. Since the priest is an important character in the ritual, it is worth taking a responsible approach to his choice.

You must register for the wedding ceremony in advance (several weeks in advance). It is also worth discussing with the priest in advance all the issues: the duration of the wedding, what you need to bring with you, whether photography can be carried out, etc. It is worth considering that this is a paid ceremony, but in some churches its exact cost is established, in others voluntary donations are provided. This issue should also be discussed with the priest. Moreover, they often provide “ Additional services", for example, bell ringing, church choir.

Selection of guarantors

Two guarantors (witnesses) are usually chosen from close relatives. It is worth considering that they must be baptized. It is not allowed to take divorced spouses or a couple living in an illegal, “civil” marriage as guarantors. Their spiritual responsibilities are similar to those of godparents: they must spiritually guide the family they are creating. Therefore, it is not customary to invite young people who are not familiar with married life to be guarantors. If difficulties arise when searching for witnesses, it is possible to carry out the sacrament of wedding without them.

Choosing an outfit

• Bride
  
  The bride's wedding dress should not be higher than her knees, should cover her shoulders and preferably her arms, and should not have a deep neckline (you can use long gloves, a cape, a bolero, an openwork shawl, a stole, etc.). It is advisable to give preference along light colors, dark and bright ones (purple, blue, black) should be abandoned. Sundresses and trouser suits are not suitable for the ceremony. The bride must cover her head. Considering that during the ceremony the newlyweds wear church crowns (crowns), you should not cover the bride’s head with a large hat, as it will look inappropriate.

  You can wear any shoes, but when choosing them, you should take into account that you will have to stand in them for quite a long time, so it is better to avoid uncomfortable high-heeled shoes. To decide on a hairstyle, it is advisable to check with the priest in advance whether the crowns will be placed on the head or will be held by guarantors. The bride's makeup should not be too noticeable; it is also worth remembering that it is forbidden to kiss a crown, cross, or icon with painted lips.

  It is believed that a wedding dress cannot be given or sold. It must be stored together with baptismal shirts, wedding candles, and icons.

• Groom

  For a wedding, the groom will wear a formal suit. There are no special prohibitions regarding the color of the suit. You should not come to church in casual, denim, or sportswear. The groom should not have a hat.

• Guests

  Guests entering the temple must comply with the requirements for all parishioners: for women - clothing closed type, hats, trouser suits are not recommended, for men - formal clothing, without a headdress.

  In addition, all participants and those present at the wedding ceremony: the bride, groom, guarantors and guests must wear crosses.

What to prepare for the ceremony

For the wedding you will need:
- rings that must be given to the priest before the ceremony for consecration;
- wedding candles;
- wedding icons (images of Christ and the Virgin Mary);
- a white towel (the newlyweds will stand on it during the ceremony);
- two scarves (to hold candles).

The towel on which the bride and groom stood during the wedding in the temple symbolizes the path of life, so it must be kept and not given to anyone. You should also store wedding candles, which can be lit during difficult childbirth or illness of children.

Photographer's choice

It is important to note that making a video or photographing a wedding ceremony is not allowed in all churches. Therefore, it is worth discussing this issue with the priest in advance. Considering that the lighting in temples is specific, it is advisable to choose professional photographer who will take into account the nuances of shooting, will be able to choose the right angles, make high quality pictures, conveying the atmosphere of the temple and the grandeur of the wedding ceremony.

Wedding ceremony

This ritual includes engagement and wedding. It is worth considering that during the ceremony the priest must call the newlyweds by the names that were given to them at baptism (sometimes they differ from the names “in the world”). Engagement passes at the entrance to the church. The bride should stand to the left of the groom. The priest blesses the newlyweds and hands over lit wedding candles, which must be held until the end of the service. After prayer he changes three times wedding rings from a man's hand to a woman's hand. After this they become the bride and groom.

Wedding is held in the center of the temple, where the bride and groom will stand on a white towel. During the ceremony, the priest reads prayers, and the guarantors hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. After answering the priest’s questions, “Is the wedding performed of one’s own free will?” “Are there any obstacles?” and reading prayers, the newlyweds become spouses before God. Now they can kiss their crowns and drink wine from a cup in three doses, which symbolizes family life with joys and sorrows. After the priest leads them around the lectern and leads them to the Royal Doors, the husband kisses the icon of Christ, and the wife kisses Mother of God. Now guests can congratulate the newlyweds.

Remember that a wedding is not just a memorable, bright holiday, but also a very important step that should be taken once in a lifetime. It is possible to divorce (debunk) spouses only under serious circumstances, with the permission of the diocese. Therefore, the union of one’s life before God and the sacrament of wedding itself should be approached seriously, with understanding and taking into account all traditions and rules.

A wedding in the Orthodox Church is a great sacrament and bestows blessing on the newly created family. Most believers, when marrying each other, undergo a similar ceremony. But it happens that the bride goes to the altar, being already in interesting position. How does the Orthodox Church approach this situation? First of all, it should be clarified when you can get married, according to the canons.

When to perform the sacrament?

The clergy explain what this ritual actually means. The fact is that the essence of the process is to receive a blessing from the Almighty addressed to the spouses. Thus, it is necessary to begin your joint journey into family life with this ritual. However, you should make sure own desire tie yourself in heavenly marriage, since divorce and re-wedding are not encouraged by the church. That is, when choosing a partner before God, a person does it once and for all.

A wedding in the Orthodox Church can only take place according to the mutual desire of the spouses. The main thing is that the child who is born in this family will be with the blessing of God. Although according to the old Orthodox canons it is believed that intimate relations between spouses are permitted only after marriage, that is, after the wedding ceremony, today these rules have undergone some changes. The fact is that pregnancy as such is not a sin, since it is the greatest miracle of the birth of a new life.

Therefore, people who are concerned about whether a pregnant woman can get married can calm down. The clergy do not have the direct right to refuse to perform the ceremony, even if the bride is pregnant.

Why perform a sacrament?

Many couples who legally entered into their marriage in the registry office believe that it is too late to go to the altar with church bells ringing, especially if the family is already expecting a baby. Many people wonder why get married under such circumstances. The fact is that time does not stand still, views change, society draws more and more traditions from the West, where it is increasingly customary to formalize relationships after the conception or even the birth of a child. Whether this is right or not, everyone decides for themselves. However modern relationships between partners still have a similar tendency.

If people are believers, then most likely they will decide to get married. It happens that in a couple one of the partners is not an adherent of Orthodox traditions. In this case, the church also has the right to conduct the ceremony if the spouses really both want it. In this case, one of the partners, as a rule, prays for the well-being of the other. Such a family is complete by church standards and deserves the blessing of the Almighty. There are no reasons for refusal. Therefore, the answer to the question of whether a pregnant woman can get married, and from this point of view, is positive.

The best time for a wedding

A woman in a position has already received God's blessing by default, otherwise a new life would not have arisen in her womb. It is for this reason that all prejudices about public opinion should be discarded. Any clergyman will give the go-ahead for the wedding ceremony. Since the expectant mother already has a lot to think about, it is better to prepare the whole process in advance. Sometimes the question arises about when a pregnant woman can get married. When choosing a date, you should focus solely on her well-being and state of health, since this is exactly what this moment is of the greatest value. Please note that the wedding ceremony lasts at least an hour.

What should a pregnant bride wear?

According to Orthodox church traditions, newlyweds must stand during the procession, which creates some difficulties due to pregnancy. Getting married can be difficult for a bride. After all, in church, as a rule, it is stuffy. At the same time, the dress may also bring some discomfort. Therefore, having found out whether it is possible for a pregnant woman to get married, one should, first of all, provide comfortable clothes, which will not squeeze or interfere, as well as shoes. According to tradition, you can choose a less festive outfit than a wedding dress - in light colors or completely white.

It is advisable to wear shoes with low soles or comfortable low heels. The priest who will perform the wedding ceremony must be notified that the bride is pregnant. If necessary, he or one of the relatives can move a bench during the procession so that the pregnant woman can sit down. You should also have with you ammonia and a wet handkerchief.

Is it necessary to get officially married before getting married?

Those wishing to undergo the ceremony often decide to get married without registering with the registry office. Not for the church special significance legal side this matter. Therefore, in this situation, if there is mutual desire, true faith and mutual understanding there are no barriers to the wedding. During the ritual, there is a mandatory condition, the observance of which is required by any Orthodox Church. We are talking about confession and communion of people who are planning to get married. To undergo the procedure according to all the rules and canons, you should fast for three days the day before. However, in the case of pregnancy, this requirement is removed and is not categorical.

Each of the couple must definitely confess, regardless of whether he has ever done this before or not. Many feel some embarrassment before such a procedure, but the clergyman will definitely find Right words for support. Next comes communion. Having discussed how many people will be present at the wedding, you should set the date and time for it. During this period, the future bride should turn to the Mother of God in prayer with a request to grant her health, so that on the appointed day everything will go well.

Conclusion

Now you know the answer to the exciting question about whether it is possible to get married while pregnant. As you understand, the church does not prohibit the ceremony. But it should be understood that the couple decides to get married not in order to gain public approval, but for God’s blessing. Only internal state and confidence in the correctness of the action taken really matter on this day.

The wedding ceremony is one of the seven sacraments of the Christian Church. The first such ceremonies began to be held back in the 1st century AD, and the formation of a holistic wedding ceremony dates back to the 4th century. Does the church allow people to get married without an official registration with the registry office, and if so, under what conditions?

The wedding ceremony marks the union of two human souls. According to Christian views, after a wedding, a man and woman become a “small church.” Their future life together is sanctified by grace and blessed for the birth and upbringing of children.

, with rare exceptions, perhaps the only time in my life Therefore, the choice of future spouses must be a conscious act of voluntary love. The ceremony is preceded by long preparation, which includes attending pre-marital courses, fasting, participation in the sacrament of confession and the Eucharist.

Will they get married in church without marriage?

Until 1917, when church and state were not separated, church marriage had absolute legality and legal force. Any marital union was concluded within the walls of the temple. During the existence of the USSR, church traditions were vetoed and special government bodies were formed.

Currently, the official registration of marriage in government agency(registry office) is a prerequisite for a clergyman to conduct a wedding ceremony. Christian church defines law-abidingness as a type of virtue, therefore preliminary receipt of a marriage certificate confirms the seriousness of the intentions of the young people. Otherwise, the wedding may just be a tribute family tradition or its holding is caused by the desire of only one of the spouses.


The preliminary conclusion of an official marriage, from the point of view of the church, is also necessary to exclude the possibility of remarriage, polygamy and polyandry, unions between blood relatives, etc.

Wedding is the final step in confirming mutual love, which cannot be undone. in contrast to state or so-called civil marriage.

Important! Long-term cohabitation does not become an argument in favor of holding the sacrament. On the contrary, the church will perceive the relationship as immoral: such couples will not be allowed to receive communion until they repent that they lived in sin.

What's in modern society It is customary to call it a civil marriage, but from a religious point of view, it is not a marriage at all. The church calls a civil marriage a marriage concluded in government agencies authorities.


A man and a woman living together, running a common household, and even having children together “without a stamp in the passport” is an ordinary cohabitation, which the clergy attribute to prodigal sin - one of the seven deadly sins that are most difficult to atone for.

The clergy are sure that in cohabitation there is no responsibility of a person for himself and his spouse; mutual obligations are not defined. Reluctance to enter into legal marriage is usually caused by distrust and disdain for each other. This indicates a lack true love, and it is on it that Christianity is based.

Another possible reason cohabitation is disrespect for ecclesiastical and secular laws, which also cannot be approved by the church.

Popular excuses

You can sometimes hear strange phrases from believers who oppose the painting in the registry office.

For example, in an attempt to find an excuse, many say that it is important to get married, and the stamp in the passport is “a matter of profit” and it is not necessary to put it. This is fair, but a counter question arises: why resist an “insignificant” formality, and why not go through the 15-minute painting procedure?


Another common argument: “We have such strong love, but there’s absolutely no money for the wedding, so for now we’ll just get married.” In this case you can choose by paying only 350 rubles in state duty. With such an excuse, the priest will have a fair doubt: what will the young people live on, raise children, improve their life, if they cannot even save money for a modest ceremony?

Are exceptions possible?

There is no canonical ban on holding a wedding ceremony without an official marriage. However, the mere desire of future spouses is not enough. Since not only the young, but also the clergy bear responsibility, each such case is considered individually by the bishop of the corresponding diocese. Only the diocesan bishop gives permission to get married bypassing the rules.


Three common reasons for exceptions:

1. State registration and the wedding ceremony are scheduled for the same date, several hours apart. If you show the priest an invitation card to the registry office for a certain date indicating the names, he will probably give in and allow the wedding to be held first, and then the painting ceremony at the registry office;
2. Extenuating circumstances, for example, in case of an upcoming operation with a risk to life or before the spouse travels to a “hot spot”, the local diocesan administration will most likely give the go-ahead for the wedding without a state marriage;
3. A couple who wants to get married without a stamp in their passport have been obedient parishioners of the church for many years, and the rector of the temple sees their sincere attitude towards each other, he can make an exception. In this case, he takes full responsibility for their union.

Interesting! Known in Russia star couple Anton Makarsky and Victoria Morozova, who were married without a wedding ceremony precisely because of the last reason on the list.

Useful video

More and more young people are turning to God, which is why the wedding ceremony is becoming so significant for their future family life. However, the church does not allow the sacrament to be performed without registering the marriage with the registry office. About the reasons for the ban and possible exceptions - in the video:

Conclusion

Although the modern church recognizes the religious legality of state marriage, in order to receive the fullness of grace, the future family must undergo the sacrament of wedding. The union of a man and a woman becomes full-fledged after marriage at two levels: state (secular) and religious (church). Wedding without a previous one official registration practically impossible and is carried out in exceptional cases.

If it is important for a couple to get married without a registration at the registry office, the only way out is a sincere conversation with the priest in the church where the celebration is planned. If he considers the arguments unworthy of attention, all he has to do is reconcile himself and reconsider his views on secular painting. Those who are ready to make a promise to each other in the face of God about devotion until the end of their lives will not have any moral difficulties in saying “Yes” even in the registry office.