Why does a child keep his hands in his pockets? Hand gestures and their meaning: open and closed poses

Keeping your hands in your pockets is indecent. This is what our parents tell us from early childhood. And we, without even thinking, believe, trying to get our hands out of our pockets as quickly as possible. It's time to figure out why this seemingly harmless gesture is considered extremely indecent

All our habits and complexes come from childhood. And this gesture of hands in pockets appears at an early age. Children (and many adults) do this for the following reasons:

Cold. In the chilly winter season, your hands naturally ask to go into your pockets to warm up. Especially when the mittens are left at home.

Shyness. Getting into new team, or having done a mischief, the child feels awkward, as they say, does not know where to put his hands. So he tries to hide them in his pockets.

So, so what? Let them warm up or feel shy. Why do parents always demand that you take your hands out of your pockets?

But the whole point is that by putting his hands in his pockets, a child risks his health. If he suddenly trips (children are known to fall very often), he can suffer serious injuries. The trouble is that the hands hidden in the pockets will not have time to help the falling body.

In addition, while walking, the arms are used as counterweights. It has been proven by medicine: if you keep your hands in your pockets while walking, the body gets tired faster.

Meaning of pocket gesture

Protective gesture. In general, having your hands in your pockets is a way to protect yourself. After all, most actions are the work of our hands. A person hides his hands in his pockets in moments of repentance (the gesture is accompanied by a lowered head and downcast gaze), self-doubt or isolation.

Hidden weapon. Every day you need to carry the most necessary things with you: money, keys, smoking accessories and much more. Previously, this was extremely inconvenient, but then they came up with pockets. However, along with useful things, pockets became carriers of treacherous weapons. That is why hands in pockets subconsciously symbolize danger.

Focus on genitals. According to the rules of social etiquette, hiding your hands in your pockets is considered a shameful gesture. In polite society, only insolent and ignorant people do this. After all, by putting their hands in their pockets, men (they are the ones who chose this gesture) focus attention on their genitals. Smacks of sexism, doesn't it?!

In general, try to keep your hands out of your pockets. Take a close look at those who do this. You can expect anything from these people. Threat, sexual dominance, isolation and even a simple desire to stay warm. Assess the situation as a whole and under no circumstances focus on your hands alone.

Expressive thumb signals

I find it very interesting to observe how verbal language sometimes mirrors nonverbal language. When film critics rate a film with both thumbs up, it means they are confident in its quality. A thumbs up is almost always nonverbal sign confidence. In addition, it is associated with high status. Look at photographs of JFK and note how often he kept his hands in his pockets with his thumbs pointed outward (see Figure 51). His brother Bobby did the same. Lawyers, college professors, and doctors often hold the lapels of their jackets with their thumbs up. One large national network of modeling and portrait photography studios requires its artists to ensure that women in photographs must hold at least one hand to the collar and hold the thumb up. Obviously, the marketers of this company are well aware that thumbs up are an expressive sign of confidence and high status.

Rice. 51. When people with high status keep their hand in their pocket, they stick their thumb out as an expressive sign of self-confidence.

Demonstrating confidence and high status

When people point their thumbs up, it means that they have a high opinion of themselves and/or are confident that they are right and in their current position (see Figures 52 and 53). Thumbs up is another example of nonverbal, gravity-defying behavior that is typically associated with a state of comfort and confidence.

Rice. 52. Thumbs up indicate positive thoughts. During a conversation, they can behave very fluidly.

Rice. 53. Thumbs may suddenly disappear when talking about something insignificant or emotions take on a negative connotation.

Interlocking fingers expresses uncertainty in all cases except one - when the thumbs point straight up. It has been noted that people who use expressive signals with their thumbs are distinguished by insight, observation and intelligence. Observe those who have a habit of giving thumbs up and see how well they fit this description. Under normal circumstances, people rarely display thumbs up, so when they do, it is safe to assume that this expressive behavior indicates positive feelings.

Showing insecurity and low status

A feeling of insecurity occurs when a person (usually a man) puts his thumbs in his trouser pockets and leaves the rest dangling at the sides (see Fig. 54). When a person applying for a job behaves this way, it means that he strongly doubts his chances. People with leadership qualities or influence do not allow themselves to show such signs of weakness in their service. Human high position may demonstrate such a gesture somewhere on vacation, but will never do it if he is “on duty.” This position of the thumbs is almost always an expressive sign of uncertainty and weakness.

The expressive signals of the thumbs are so precise that they can be successfully used to distinguish between those who are happy with themselves and those who are having a hard time making ends meet. More than once I have seen how at trials people began their speech confidently and folded their hands like a house, but after the first difficult question their thumbs ended up in their pockets. This behavior of the thumbs is reminiscent of the behavior of a child standing in front of an upset mother and shows how quickly a firm belief in one’s rightness can give way to complete confusion.

Rice. 54. Thumbs in trouser pockets are a sign of insecurity and low status. People in positions of power should avoid such nonverbal displays of weakness.

Framing the genitals

Sometimes men subconsciously stick their thumbs into the waistband on either side of the fly and either pull up their pants or leave their thumbs sticking out there, allowing the remaining fingers to hang down to frame the genital area (see Fig. 56). Framing the genitals is an expressive signal that demonstrates dominance. Essentially, it means: “I’m a real man. If you want, you can check."

Rice. 56. Framing the genital area with hands is often used by young men and women during courtship. This is a gesture of superiority.

It's all about the thumbs

During a long business trip to the capital of Colombia, I stayed in one of the best hotels in Bogota and became closely acquainted with the manager. Once, in a conversation with me, he complained that he had recently hired several new security guards, whom he did not like for some reason, although there seemed to be nothing to complain about. He knew that I was an FBI expert and hoped that my experience would help him understand what might displease him about these new employees. We went out into the street where the security post was located to look at these people. In the manager's opinion, although they were all in brand new uniforms and their boots were polished to a mirror shine, there was still something wrong with their appearance. I agreed that the form was in in perfect order, but drew attention to one important detail: The guards stood with their thumbs in their trouser pockets, a sure sign of insecurity and incompetence. The manager couldn't understand what I meant until I showed him correct stance. He immediately understood everything and said: “Yes, you are right. They are like little children waiting for their mommy to tell them what to do.” The next day, the guards were shown how to stand correctly (hands behind their backs, shoulders back, chin up) in order to look impressive, but not threatening. Sometimes even such little things have a big impact great importance. In this case, the hidden thumbs became expressive signals uncertainty, and this is not at all what is required of a security guard, especially in a city like Bogota.

Try a little experiment yourself. Stick your thumbs in your pants pockets and ask people what you look like. Their answers will confirm that in this position you produce far from best experience. You will never see a presidential candidate or leader of any country hide his thumbs in his pockets. Confident people do not behave this way (see Fig. 55).

Rice. 55. Thumbs in trouser pockets indicate uncertainty or a feeling of discomfort that a person is experiencing, and therefore you should not hold your hands this way.

Not long ago, when I began working on this book, I discussed this element of nonverbal behavior in a class at the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia. The listeners made me laugh, declaring that no man, especially subconsciously, would demonstrate his sexuality so clearly. The next day, one of the cadets came to class and said that in the common toilet he saw with his own eyes how a guy from another group first preened himself while standing in front of the mirror, then put on sunglasses, and then performed a gesture of framing his genitals, admired himself for a second and proudly walked out into the corridor. I'm sure the guy didn't even think about what he was doing. One way or another, the gesture of framing the genitals is much more common than we think, and not only in films about the Wild West!

The Horrible Story of a Woman Who Was Too Calm

The limited gesticulation characteristic of liars has become main reason, which left me distrustful of a young woman who told local sheriff's deputies that her six-month-old son had been kidnapped from a Wal-Mart parking lot in Tampa, Florida. As the woman told her story, I carefully watched her on the monitor from the next room. After the interrogation, I told the investigators that I did not believe in the veracity of her story, since she behaved too restrained. When people tell the truth, they try their best to make you understand and use exclusively expressive gestures and facial expressions. This woman behaved differently. A loving and distraught mother had to accompany the retelling terrible story abductions with more convincing and passionate movements. The absence of such movements seemed suspicious to us. In the end, the woman confessed that she herself killed her child by placing a plastic garbage bag over his head. The kidnapping story was a complete fabrication. The freezing response triggered by her limbic system manifested itself in the restraint of her movements and helped expose her lies.

Certain rules of etiquette have become so firmly established in our lives that we rarely ask ourselves why we shouldn’t act in one way or another. For example, men must remove their hats when entering a room, and remove their gloves before offering a hand in greeting. It is also indecent to keep your hands in your pockets.

Pockets are talked about a large number of disputes. Most of them have a rather superficial relationship to the subject of conversation, but, nevertheless, not everyone can afford to keep their hands hidden.

This prohibition comes from somewhere in childhood, when parents kept telling me: take your hands out of your pockets! And then, this is the command: hands at your sides, to attention! And remembering this, the arms naturally stretch along the body. Even if they’re in the way, and they’re holding you back, and you don’t know where to put them, you’ll still hide them in your pockets – and then immediately come out. Even the bitter cold is no excuse; you need to wear gloves. And for small things, like keys or a purse, there is a bag or purse.

According to the rules of etiquette, by the way, only keys are allowed to be carried in the side pockets of trousers and only in a special case. Firstly, this way they won’t stupidly bulge out of the pocket, and secondly, they won’t tear through the lining. And you can't keep your hands in your pockets.

If you look at it objectively, splayed pockets of trousers or jackets do not look aesthetically pleasing. As you wear them, the pockets gradually take on the shape of bags, protrude and spoil appearance clothes. And they are torn. Mom and dad don’t like this state of affairs; the child receives endless comments.

The most persistent parents simply sew up their pockets and that’s the end of it.

And yet, the ban on pockets comes from somewhere back in time. From those times when there could very well be a weapon in your pocket. And, not trusting the interlocutor, it was calmer to see his hands. Now, of course, there can also be weapons, even if not firearms, but brass knuckles or some other joy. Not in polite society, of course, but you shouldn’t make your interlocutor nervous.

Nonverbal communication between a man and a woman is not children's toys for you! One wrong move or wrong look by him or you can jeopardize the further development of the relationship, even if before that the passionate desire to be together haunted you. To prevent this from happening, we suggest becoming familiar with body “language” and various gestures. You will learn what they mean depending on the situation and how to react to them.

This is what people say to each other without saying a word. It does not require any speech, compliments, questions, all information and influence on each other is transmitted through facial expressions, gestures, postures, and intonation. It helps to understand a person’s attitude towards himself and show him his disposition or rejection.

Gestures and behavior of a man in front of a woman

Body language can reveal a lot about attitude young man to a girl and vice versa. You will only need to learn how to correctly interpret gestures.

A guy keeps his hands in his pocket during a conversation

If a man's thumbs are not in his pocket, but are pointed outward, this may mean that he wants to attract attention to himself. If his palms are completely buried in his pockets, he can be considered to be holding back his real emotions.

The only conclusion is that he likes you, but he is afraid or does not want to show it. In this case, try to force things, hint to him of your sympathy with a light touch on the elbow.

What do raised eyebrows mean?

Such a gesture most often indicates a man’s interest in you. This means that he is having fun spending time with you, and the conversation is going well. But there is another interpretation: a young man may well be thinking about something serious at this time. In this case, his face will be tense. Your task is to start joking unobtrusively and relax the guy as much as possible.

What do his hugs say?

It is very important how exactly he hugs you. If it is straight and strong in front, it may well be that he is only interested in you as a passion for the evening. You can talk about a warm and serious attitude when he comes up from behind and wraps his arms around your neck. With the help of such hugs, MCH hints that this is his chosen one and he will not give her to anyone.

Think about the fact that MCH simply treats you well and, by hugging you, shows it.

Also, such a gesture may be a consequence of his lack of self-confidence, when he is not ready to take responsibility for a woman.

What if he stretches while talking?

This is the worst thing a man can do on a date. This behavior is incorrect and disrespectful towards your partner. You can judge from it that he is terribly bored with you and really wants to get laid. Run away from such a macho man, he is not worthy of women's attention! But if a man stretches delicately, as if straightening his posture and shoulders, believe me, he is in the mood to charm his interlocutor! In this case, look closely at him, succumbing to his charms, only sometimes looking down, outwardly embarrassed.

Why is he touching a girl?

If we are talking about open touching, it is obvious that in this way he demonstrates his sexual desire. He likes the one sitting opposite him and wouldn't mind flirting and spending the night with her. In the case when a man casually tries to touch a woman’s elbow, her palm, leg and even waist, we can assume that he has serious plans for you.

Touches and licks lips

“Hungry” men who crave female warmth and affection can touch their lips.

Pay attention to whether the MC is looking at you, licking his lips or touching them with his hand. If yes, they are hinting at intimacy.

It may also be that the guy was nervous or that he is simply worried at the sight of a gorgeous girl.

Something is twisting in his hands

This is an obvious sign of excitement in the company. beautiful lady. A man most often fiddles with a ring on his finger, a chain on his hand or neck, a tie or button, a pen and a lighter. There is a high probability that this is done due to a feeling of emptiness and disappointment, misunderstanding from others.

Comes close when talking

A good gesture that can be understood as if MCH wants to isolate the girl from the whole world. He wants to attract attention, show his importance and get a little closer. Such men are self-confident and sometimes even selfish, but their chosen one will be very lucky: she will not have any problems in life.

“Speaking” with gestures is, of course, interesting, but sooner or later you will have to start regular communication. And here a problem may arise: ? You will be able to avoid mistakes when conducting a dialogue and win over your interlocutor.

Do you know that men cannot say everything that comes into their heads? Here . They can cause irritation and put an end to relationships.

To get closer to the MC and gain his trust, . Here you will find the most successful phrases.

Have you noticed that the young man is reluctant to talk? Find out, ! You will be able to identify the reasons and correct the situation.

Well, if things are really bad, then there is nothing left. Use our list of proven phrases that won't offend him.

We evaluate facial expressions and gaze

Here's what men most often do when communicating with the opposite sex:

• Smile while talking. Why is this necessary? To win over your interlocutor, show your positive attitude. This is also how they try to flirt.
• They make faces like Jim Carrey. Why? If the MC is not sanguine in life, obviously he wants to be remembered and stand out from others.
• They don't look at the woman. One of the reasons is that he fell head over heels in love and is afraid to reveal his feelings. Another option is that he is ashamed that he is married, but is interested in you.
• They lower their eyes to the floor. Here everything is similar to the above: either he is busy or shy.
• They look closely at the lips of the interlocutor. It's simple - he wants to kiss you and is eager to continue acquaintance in a more informal setting.

Do you want to know all the secrets of seducing men? We recommend watching free video course Alexey Chernozem "12 laws of seduction for women." You'll get step by step plan 12 steps on how to drive any man crazy and keep his affection for many years.

The video course is free. To watch, go to this page, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the video.

How can a woman give the right “signals” to a man?

If you want to show your interest, do not fold your arms over your chest or cross your palms, try not to twist your hair, and keep your back straight. This way you won't push your partner away. Instead, watch your posture, smile slightly, look directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, cross your legs and, while saying something, lean forward a little towards him.

Very interesting video, with really useful tips and examples:

Men are very complex creatures, but our tips will help you figure them out without getting caught!

Reading men like an open book - isn’t this what most girls dream of? As children, they were taught that everything should be asked honestly. But, as practice and experience show, a man will not always be happy to tell you his thoughts.

His body will help you understand what he is really thinking about. The placement of his hands, his crossed legs, the turn of his head, even the way he stands - all this will give you the answer to what mood he is in and what he wants.

Hands in pockets

If your man is straightforward and can just come up to you and say, “Honey, I've been dreaming about undressing you all day,” you're in luck. As a rule, men love flirting, ambiguous jokes, by which you should understand what he is waiting for.

The very first position that says that he is hungry for sex is his hands in his trouser pockets and his thumbs pointed outward. It's hard to imagine a sexier gesture. At the same time, he seems to be telling you that he will set the tone in your sexual play, the initiative will come from him. A man in this position states: “You will do as I said.” In this case, he plays the role of first violin. Remember, the man himself will set the rules of the game and will finish it himself whenever he wishes. Cruel? Yes, but the game is worth the candle.

Attention to... socks!

If you notice that he is standing with his hands on his hips and his body turned towards you, know that he is definitely not averse to continuing communication with you in a more intimate setting. This way the man shows that his attention is entirely focused on you. If the toes of his shoes are also turned towards you, he thereby shows other men: “Don’t come closer, this woman is busy, she is mine.” Men rarely occupy such positions; most often they sit with their arms outstretched, the toes of their shoes next to each other. Sexologists call this an inviting gesture. It’s as if he’s calling other women: “Look, I’m free, let’s get to know each other.” But in this case, all he needs is you. Therefore, when a man sits in this position, you can twist ropes out of him, he will fulfill your every whim. But it’s enough for you to stand up or look away from him, and his contact with you will be broken.

Look at me!

There is another, less the hard way understand whether a man is ready for sex. Remember, when you liked a man, you suddenly start preening: you smooth your hair, your voice changes, you start fiddling with jewelry. He does the same. If a man likes a woman, he begins to fiddle with the knot of his tie, straighten his shirt sleeves, and run his hand through his hair. Many will take these gestures for excitement, but in fact he seems to be telling you: “Look how good I am, what kind of hair I have, expensive cufflinks. I like you, take a closer look at me.”

The main thing is the lips

Men use gestures that indicate that he wants to kiss you. If, for example, you lick your lips when you want to tell a man about your desires, then the stronger sex acts more secretly. Take a closer look: does he touch his lips with his finger every now and then? This means that the man is trying to attract your attention to them and hint at further actions, he wants to touch your lips. You can let him know that you accept these advances, or ignore them completely.

Only you!

You met the man you’ve been dreaming about for a week in the office, and suddenly he presses you against the wall and shields you with his hand, as if protecting you from the outside world. Well, congratulations - your dreams about him will soon come true. If a man gets into this position, it means he wants you to become his. With his hand he seems to create a small world just for you. This position scares many women, but there is no need to be afraid. A man doesn’t want to scare or offend you, he just wants to show how much he wants you.

Exciting look

Well, perhaps the simplest gesture is a sexy look that gives you goosebumps. This is the way they look at women they really want. In addition, he begins to casually touch your hand, especially your wrist. It’s not for nothing that sexologists say that for women this is one of the most erogenous zones (besides the ears). And his hands begin to move in the air as if he is caressing you. Such heavy artillery is usually difficult to resist. And is it necessary?