Horoscope is a cool, funny celebration forecast. Comic astrological forecast - a gift for a colleague

Leading:

Dear guests, today an astronomer and predictor came to us, who made a forecast for the next year, intended for our hero of the day, based on the stars.

Details, attributes: a white robe, a folder of books under the arm, a telescope in hand and a poster-congratulation-prediction for the coming year for the hero of the day. The prediction and poster are printed, and you don’t have to memorize the text, but simply read it from the sheet.
Astronomer:

Hello dear guests and our unrivaled hero of the day.
In the previous month, I worked on (NAME's) horoscope.
I was inspired by the location of the nearby planets Mars and Venus, and the unusual cycle of our sun.
After carefully determining the degrees between the Moon and other planets solar system, according to the existing pattern, spiral cyclicity, an accurate and individual prediction has been made for our (NAME).

A busy work schedule will bring a little discord in family relationships. Virgos' behavior has not satisfied their partners for some time. Virgos are used to controlling their loved ones, constantly teaching and being jealous. On this basis, relationships will cool, which can lead to separation....

We have all heard about predictions. It is known that such work is carried out by people who are, to one degree or another, connected with various forces that are still incomprehensible and unknown to man. Predictions have been in demand always and everywhere, in all countries and in different eras. Of course, in modern world predictions play a huge role, since there are few people who do not want to look into the future. Even the most ardent skeptics sometimes secretly want to know what awaits them next in life. However, predictions are now acquiring not only a strict character, but also their humorous form. And therefore, more and more often you can find comic predictions.

Comic predictions - what are they?

How do cheerful predictions differ from their more strict form? Initially, it is important to note that such predictions can be voiced for different purposes. Many people get tired of reading boring and strict predictions for the day, month, year. I want to defuse the situation, read something funny, but instructive. And therefore, ordinary predictions sometimes turn into a comic form. It can be just humor, a cartoon, and sometimes there is real black humor. While reading funny predictions, you can have a good laugh and take note of a few warnings that will help you avoid various problems in the near future. In addition, when reading comic predictions, the harsh reality is easier to perceive, and it becomes easier to look at life. Whether to believe such predictions is, of course, up to each person. But it would be useful to take warnings into account.

Where are funny predictions used?

However, comic predictions do not always have a strict basis. They can also be used simply to lift your spirits. A person who takes them into service is capable of as soon as possible become the life of the party and be known as an enviable jokester. You can use them in the office at work, at a party with friends, in general, anywhere, the main thing is that they are appropriate. Naturally, such a prediction does not need to be taken on faith; it is intended only for entertainment. However, there are also frequent cases when even funny predictions, invented for laughter, came true. So even with them you should be careful. Also, cool and funny predictions are often used at holidays and celebrations. These could be birthdays, anniversaries, corporate and home holidays.

At what events are comic predictions most often used?

The first events where fun but instructive predictions originated were weddings. It's rare to see a wedding where guests don't dress up as gypsies on the second day. And what is a gypsy without predictions? In order to raise holiday spirit for those present and simply to amuse passers-by, the gypsy in a comic form pronounces predictions to the bride and groom, and then to everyone present. Afterwards, funny predictions began to be used on other holidays. The hero of the day is always wished for long years life, health, happiness. Everyone knows this and is accustomed to it. But a humorous prediction made at the height of the holiday, in which humor is mixed with wishes for happiness and longevity, can ignite it with renewed vigor, make guests laugh and please the hero of the day. Often funny predictions are used at children's parties. Of course, their shape should correspond to the children's theme.

Cool predictions form

Comic predictions are used in various forms. If they are pronounced during a feast or wedding, then it is more interesting to use a poetic form. Thus, at the same time, a prediction can become an excellent toast. Also, a fun prediction often becomes part of a game or entertainment. There are many table games in which you can playfully guess who the person was in past life, of course, with the same comic result. If cool predictions are carried out at children's parties, then this usually creates a feeling of mystery. You can even hold a costume masquerade for a similar purpose. Children interested in a riddle always accept jokes with pleasure.

In general, comic predictions can be used anytime, anywhere. The main thing is that it is appropriate, otherwise the joke simply won’t work.

Comic predictions in verse in one line

1. The day was bright and bright, like a sweet gift.
2. A trip to the sea awaits you soon.
3. Let a tear of joy shed soon old friend will be back!
4. Down with both anger and revenge, you will receive good news.
5. Wait for the sunset, wait for the dawn, wait for a sweet greeting.
6. Every day and every hour someone thinks about you.
7. Look ahead more cheerfully, wealth awaits you there.
8. Wait a little, the road is waiting for you.
9. Gingerbread and sweets, there will be a lot of joy.
10. Holidays and fun await you at the end of the week.
11. Suddenly you have a new friend.
12. Wait without crying, luck will come to you.
13. The sun is back and happiness is back - you will meet new love.
14. Expect success at work by next Saturday.
15. You will always have delicious food in your house.
16. Try to vacation in the Bahamas six times a year and then you will certainly, certainly, probably be lucky.
17. If you lie down naked on ice for a long time in winter, no harmful microbe will crawl into you.
18. Someone will be lucky again in the coming year, maybe you or a neighbor - you must always be prepared.
19. Changes await you at the beginning of January, prepare for them gradually - don’t waste your time.
20. Try to run carefully at night in icy conditions, and then you will quite possibly celebrate the New Year.

Funny predictions

1. When giving your beloved a bouquet of daisies, count all the petals. Must be: loves!
2. When expecting a bad event, do not twist the button: it will definitely come off.
3. You are lucky! Therefore, be more modest and do not grab more lucky tickets.
4. When crossing the road, look around - there is a chance of meeting your destiny.
5. Approach your boss with the right foot - and a promotion awaits you.
6. Always smile! And no one will call you a gloomy person. Keep quiet! And no one will call you a bore.
7. Your life is an endless road, so choose reliable means to move around it - a car.
8. Today is the best day for you! As the others!
9. Buy a book that you don't like at all - and you will find the answers to all your questions.
10. During the first week after the New Year, a pleasant surprise awaits you.
11. When leaving the entrance of your house, turn your head to the right. The brand of the car standing there will soon appear in yours too.
12. If your neighbors knock on the battery today, then a fun and unforgettable New Year awaits you.
13. In the New Year you will win a million dollars, but then you will give it all to charity.
14. In the New Year, you will be able to get rid of your bad habit, but you will also acquire a couple of new ones.
15. In the New Year you will be given the most desired gift - goldfish. True, it will be stuffed with rice and herbs.
16. In the New Year, you will learn and discover a lot of new and useful things, but now please open a bottle of champagne.
17. In the New Year, you will have the pleasure of spending a lot of money, as well as the pleasure of earning it.
18. In the New Year, you will get yourself a new pet, and give the old one to a nursing home.
19. If on June 1 you wear your clothes inside out, then many people of the opposite sex will pay attention to you. Maybe you will find love!
20. If you come across a foreign body in bread, know that this is good luck!

Astrological comic predictions

1. The stars are favorable to you. However, you should not catch them in a bowl of salad, otherwise the powerful influence of Mars may contribute to prophetic dreams under the table.
2. Venus in the second house foretells a hearty dinner with excesses and moderate physical activity on the dance floor.
3. Ritual dancing on the table is contraindicated for your zodiac sign, otherwise an unpleasant meeting in a government house is possible.
4. People of your sign are smiling, cheerful, talkative, funny... hey, dear, aren't you drinking too much champagne?
5. Abuse of shouts of “Happy New Year!” is fraught with throat diseases; "Happy New Year!" should be pronounced with just your lips, rolling your eyes meditatively.
6. The stars are not located in the best possible way: The most susceptible to rhythmic twitching will be the knee, hand, elbow and hip joints.
7. Your patron planet Mercury foreshadows an unexpected turn of events after your toast to love.
9. From today you are under the auspices of the planet Venus, which will present you with new unexpected love.
10. This night the stars are positioned in the sky so that everything you have dreamed of getting for so long is shining for you.

New Year Wishes

1. Good luck, happiness, peace to you! You will have your own apartment!
2. I wish you to save the style! You will have a car!
3. Luck will not leave you! There will be a new dacha for you!
4. A toast to your health! There will be career growth for you!
5. I wish you good luck! A new addition to your family is waiting for you!
6. Surround you with comfort! And your income will increase!
7. Let success follow! You are the best to study!
8. There are many different impressions! On wonderful journeys!
9. Don't let worry bother you! A new job is waiting for you!
10. I wish you not to be bored in vain, There will be new friends!

Astrologer: What, did you wait? Here I am.
Applaud, friends.
Almost delayed me
Astrology is mine.
I got up early today
I counted all the stars.
I laid them out and collected them,
Here's what I learned from them.
The corporate guy is coming here
The people celebrate the holiday.
I started my starship
Scooter-high-speed.
And I got ready for the road,
I came to your cafe.
To read the stars
Find out all your secrets.
I’ll compose it for you without hassle
Alcohol horoscope.

IN lays out the stars on the table, mixes them up, and, pulling out one star at a time, reads out the horoscope (I made it from shiny paper big stars and on each star was printed a horoscope for each zodiac sign)

Loves very much Scorpion
Lots of vodka and lemon.
And then he lies unconscious,
He asks to give him Borjom!
Are there Scorpios among us?
Let them support this very hour!

(The zodiac sign about whom the astrologer read raises a glass, repeats these words and drinks, thus everyone drinks in turn).

If you are born Sagittarius,

A pourer, a daredevil,
The whole company is at risk
Fall on your face in Olivier!
Are there Sagittarius among us here?
Let them support this very hour!