A person with a difficult character. People with complex characters

Difficult character as a personality quality - to be difficult, unpleasant in communication, in community life; quarrelsome, extremely stubborn, difficult to understand, terribly touchy, picky, excessively demanding of others, quick-tempered, overly pedantic and vindictive.

Train Moscow - Sukhumi. A married couple and their companion are traveling in the compartment. The wife nags her husband all the time. After a while the men go out to smoke. “Listen,” says the fellow traveler, “this, of course, is none of my business, but your wife has a terribly difficult character.” I will give you the address of a psychotherapist in Moscow - he will fix this in one session. True, he takes $500... - Thank you, no need, - the husband replies, - I’m taking her to Sukhumi - they promised to shoot her for $10...

Comrade Stalin's New Year. Stalin gets up and says: “Something is wrong, comrades.” Let's play a game. Everyone, knowing the difficult character of Comrade Stalin, agrees. And Stalin says: “We’ll play like this.” Here, comrade Beria, what letter does your last name begin with? - With the letter B, Comrade Stalin. - Correct! And the ringless finger also starts with the letter B. Let’s reflect the ringless finger to my friend! They cut it off. - What letter is your last name, Comrade Molotov? - Starting with the letter M, Comrade Stalin. - Correct! And the little fingers also start with the letter M. Let’s reflect the little fingers to the comrade! Why is Comrade Nykita Sergeevich Khrushchev so pale?

The difficult character of a husband or wife turns over time into a golden one, if he is respected, loved, tolerated and condescendingly generous. Reproaches and reproaches never work. Man of sense He uses cultural restrictions only for himself and does not try to forcibly instill them in another. It is naive to hope to change the difficult character of another. There is only one way out - in the willingness to tolerate each other with all the pros and cons.

When a person cultivates in himself positive traits personality, for example, patience, goodwill, respect, generosity, that is, changes for the better, grows personally, the other cannot help but change in the same direction. Naturally, this is a process that takes months and years. But you need patience. It is stupid and reckless to start a family without the willingness to tolerate certain characteristics of the behavior of another person. In relationships you need to be condescending, and not petty to the point of disgust and disgrace.

Psychologist Vyacheslav Ruzov also advises not to start a family if you are not ready to tolerate each other until marriage. If you cannot stand each other before the wedding, then when you fully open up, then it will be generally fun. It will just turn into another boxing circle, which is why most families now break up in the first three years of marriage. There is no need to create another bad family. You must love each other so much that you are ready to endure for the rest of your life. Everyone must be tolerated. You even need to endure yourself. You must bear with me. I have to bear with you. We tolerate everything, absolutely everything: the weather, the money, the country, the president. We tolerate everything, but the closer something is to us, the more we must tolerate it. Therefore, loved ones are the closest, they need to be tolerated the most. Because there is no one except our neighbors. People don't become neighbors that easily. There are very few of them close at all. You have to love them while they are still alive, but they die quickly, by the way. It is very sad. And when they die, it turns out that all our lives we did not love each other, but proved some kind of rightness, and which we no longer remember. We don’t even remember how right we proved. And then it’s so painful to stand at the grave and think: “We’ve just been fighting all our lives over something, even about which we don’t remember.” Where was life? Where was the love? Dedication? Sacrifice? Tolerance? Where is the desire to please a person?

Of course, living with a person who has a difficult character is not easy, but first you need to want it. The tools are love, patience, kindness, respect and generosity. At the same time, you need to understand that love is a permanent state, and not a temporary manifestation. Mind, intelligence, ego - everything should be tuned to the wave of love.

Love is a verb turned into a noun. You can’t build love 24 hours a day. Fatigue and satiety will inevitably come, requiring you to relax. Relaxation often takes place in forms opposite to love, for example, in hatred, terrible resentment, unforgiveness or resentment. And love needs to become a permanent state of consciousness. Only under this condition can you live with a person who has a difficult character.

Rami Blackt writes: “The state of love is natural, like breathing. If we breathed with effort, we would get tired of it, we would need to rest, and we would die. Love is the breath of our soul. Without breathing, the body will die. Likewise, a soul cannot be born without love. When we love, our soul comes alive. But you cannot say: “Breathe only in my presence and not breathe in other cases.” If we obey, we will die. And you cannot also say: “Love only in my presence.” There is no monopoly on love.

All this does not mean that you have to love everyone, no. We just have to be in a loving state of mind. It's like breathing - even in the presence of enemies we continue to breathe. When we breathe the air of love, our entire aura changes. She becomes sparkling, radiating joy. A woman with such an aura becomes super attractive to men. This is roughly how enlightened masters describe the state of love. This is something you need to understand and want.

Love is the acceptance of all imperfections of a partner. True love will make you better than you would be without that person in your life. People often equate love with happiness. However, happiness is a state of mind that should develop within you and not be dependent on anyone else. The healthiest type of love is when you already feel good about yourself, and therefore your love for someone is completely selfless.”

A parable about a difficult character.

One boy had a difficult character, and his dad gave him a bag of nails, telling him to hammer a nail into a post every time he got angry. On the first day the boy hammered 37 nails. Then the number of nails began to decrease. The boy realized that being angry is much easier than hammering nails. And one fine day the boy stopped being angry altogether. He told his dad about this, and his dad asked him to pull out one nail for each day that he was angry. Several days passed and the boy reported to his father that he was able to pull out all the nails.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the pillar: “Great, son, now look at the holes that the nails left on this pillar.” He will never be the same again. When you say words in anger, they leave scars. You can stab and pull out your knife, and it doesn’t really matter if you say “I’m sorry” later, the wound will still remain. A wound inflicted by words is no less important than a physical wound.

Petr Kovalev 2015

Each person is individual: each has his own appearance and his own character, his own various features. But it is still possible to draw an analogy and identify certain common features of the psyche that will allow us to classify people by type. It is useful to know what type of personality this or that person belongs to under any circumstances, especially if it critical time. What personalities are around us? Which of them is the hardest to communicate with? Further in the article we will try to determine the typical categories of “difficult” personalities.

We all differ from each other not only in certain innate individual traits, but also in developmental features associated with the course of life. A person’s behavior is influenced by many things: what kind of family he was raised in, who he works with, what his environment is like.

People with complex characters: types.

1. Hysterical

People whose mood can change instantly. “Hysterical” or “hysterical” is what those around them call them.

Hysteria is an example of a complex mental disorder. A person suffering from such a disease is very emotional, tries to attract attention to himself and is able to “play a role.” He constantly needs support and praise from outside.

A woman who has a hysterical disorder is a caricature of femininity: she is overly dependent, selfish, vain, immature, superficial and demonstrative. She may experience psychosomatic reactions and illnesses. A hysterical man often hides under the guise of antisocial tendencies.

The main essence of such people lies in the fact that they are not able to learn to live independently, and therefore they try to make others take care of them. Hysterical women from childhood were rewarded for beauty and charm, and not for effort, which requires patience and thinking. Men - for courage, toughness of character and strength, and not for the ability to solve problems. Hysterical people are so passionate about the goal of being liked that they are capable of losing their real goal.

At first glance, hysterics seem to be very charming people. Although after a while they are considered too demanding and in need of support. They are cunning, can manipulate, blackmail and even coerce. Their reaction is intense and spontaneous, and conclusions are drawn hastily.

2. Pedantic.

People prone to doubt and caution, concerned with details and rules, are too conscientious and stubborn. These are people who are so caught up in details that they can't highlight what's most important. They always have a lot of work to do. Because of their standards, they will be tormented by regrets for a long time, they will punish themselves and others. With any serious “failure” they can fall into a depressive state. Such people are valued at work: they know their job and you can rely on them.

3. Excitable.

People prone to impulsive actions. They are ruled by desires, ideas and interests. They are often irritated and make scandals. In anger they may even resort to assault. Such people cannot exchange thoughts. Many of them drink alcohol.

Sometimes an excitable personality is slightly smoothed out by the presence of intelligence by nature, but the power of instinct still prevails. It is especially pronounced in children.

4. Avoidant.

These are individuals who believe that they are incompetent and socially inept. The reason lies in the fear of failure, rejection, humiliation or condemnation. These are inactive people who even avoid communication.

People with this disorder believe that they are bad and uninteresting. Their behavior is driven by the slogan “It is better not to take part in risky activities.”

5. Dependent.

These are people who consider themselves helpless, who are trying to find for themselves some strong guardian, a defender who will help them survive, and next to whom they will act successfully. For example, a dependent woman often says that she cannot live without a man.

6. Paranoid.

Individuals who constantly experience fears (fear of attack, humiliation, criticism). In any life situations, these people are distrustful of others, behave with extreme caution and always try to find signs of their opponent’s “insidious plans.” They feel like others are hiding or plotting something.

7. Antisocial.

People suffering antisocial disorder, consider themselves lonely, independent and strong. They feel that others are taking advantage of them and treating them harshly. Such individuals can be insidious, know how to manipulate and exploit others, and can even show aggression. In their understanding, others are either exploiters (and therefore deserve to be “exploited”) or weaklings (that is, deserving of the role of victim).

Their emotions manifest as anger that others own something that they do not, but which they believe they deserve more.

8. Narcissistic.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a disorder in which a person exalts himself, believes that everyone should admire him because he is the only one unique and special. At the same time, he has no prerequisites to think so.

Narcissists view other people as their subordinates, although at the same time they are dependent on them because they expect some kind of admiration from the outside. They are convinced that people must recognize their special position, otherwise they should be punished.

Their most common reaction is irritation or anger, which arises when other people do not respect, admire, or argue with them.

How to deal with “difficult” individuals.

1. Accept the person as he is. It is almost impossible to change any of us. Offering cooperation can help change behavior.
2. Develop your skills. Perhaps a person likes the way he behaves. Therefore, you should be more decisive and behave with him on equal terms (that is, express your opinion and be honest).
3. Be calm. Expressing your emotions will not lead to anything good. You need to be able to express your opinion in such a way that your interlocutor makes contact.

There are also many common approaches for communicating with all types of “difficult” people:

• smile;
• learn to listen;
• empathize;
• show respect;
• consult;
• take care;
• Consider other people's opinions and ideas.

Difficult people defy logic and sometimes even common sense. Well, or so it seems to us. The point is different - there are those with whom it is very difficult to communicate, but for various reasons it is necessary. In this article, we'll find out what types of difficult people there are, and then give specific recommendations for dealing with each of them.

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Today we will talk about the art of communicating with such people.

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There is nothing more fascinating in the universe than a complex woman.
Most men seem to find women they just like. They do not comprehend them, do not recognize them, do not reveal them.

At the same time, a woman will literally become your other half; she will have a huge influence on you. Women are much more rational than men. Their actions are more logical. There is no more exciting thing in life than an affair with a woman with a complex character.

It may not be for everyone: not everyone enjoys solving puzzles. But those who decide to have an affair or family with such a woman will receive a great prize at the end.

It will make your life much more interesting.

Believe me or not, “difficult” people are not born “difficult.” There is no "complex personality" gene that people get from their parents. People become more "complex" when life experiences make them so.

And it is different for everyone. Difficult relationships- this is not always pleasant, but they always turn out to be more intriguing and exciting than “happy” ones. From an engineering point of view, the iPhone is also a complex device, but those who understand its essence no longer need to explain anything. So it is with exclusive relationships.

A complex woman is always an interesting woman. Why? Because they can tell you dozens of exciting stories from their own, not someone else’s life. And you can become part of them.

Difficult life experiences are always a large number of great stories. And since they will all be about themselves, they will turn out to be very emotional.

It happens that after for long years There is nothing left of their relationship. If you don't want to constantly reveal your partner, share with him the most important stories your life, it means that such relationships exist for some reason, but they are no longer an end in themselves. Or maybe it’s just hard for you to leave a woman you haven’t loved for a long time because of children?

But it is difficult to stop loving a woman with a complex character and devilish attractiveness. So ultimately this is a very good choice.

Your girlfriend will never sound like a broken record. She's hard to win

“Easy” and “boring” are synonymous words. Humans by nature always seek a challenge, and men in particular. When it comes to their women, men always (on a subconscious level) figure out which one is better. We are fighters, competitors and conquerors.

We love to win and hate to lose. If we fall for a woman, we pursue her until they fall in love with us. Well, or you’ll have to look for excuses for yourself why it’s supposedly not worth spending time on.

But as soon as we win an easy victory, we immediately lose interest in winning. Therefore, our woman should always remain a mystery to us. But you shouldn’t make her bored either. Otherwise she will just run away.

She may be a little short-tempered, but that will make the relationship interesting.

Everyone thinks that the ideal relationship is when everyone is always smiling and kissing. But to be honest, such relationships simply do not exist. Everyone swears.

Every relationship undergoes serious tests. And here one of two scenarios usually happens. You may either quickly lose interest in quarrels and conflicts - and you will become a soulless type who will live the rest of your life in depression without even knowing it. And the second option: you can take these frequent battles over and over again - as if it were all happening for the first time. And you will get it at the exit interesting life, full of passion and inspiration.

This kind of stress does more good than harm.

She will make you work for her - and this is the main thing that will maintain the connection between you

Most people are in such a hurry when building relationships, as if some kind of championship medal was waiting for them at the very price.

You must realize that relationships are rewards. beauty love relationship- is that you shouldn't wait until you can eat your cake. They, however, also require constant maintenance.

Most often, problems arise when one of the two decides that they can no longer do their part of the job.

Let's be honest: this usually happens to men. When men feel the love of their women, they no longer feel the need to fight for it.

This is the difference between a husband and a lover.

A real man knows that he must work to keep his life alive. A wise woman knows that if a man makes her feel special again and again, then she should give him the maximum of her feelings.

Don't be afraid of your feelings. We are all afraid of this terrible feeling - the feeling of loss. Remind yourself that a great relationship with an unavailable woman is always a possibility.