How can a student organize his learning process? Is there discipline in family education or how to motivate a child to study independently.

A healthy pregnant woman can easily organize her life so as not to leave her favorite job and not give up her studies at the institute. However, various difficulties may lie in wait for her, which it is better to know about in advance. Maybe they will scare you away, and you will devote yourself completely to motherhood, putting your career on hold. And for those who cannot and do not want to interrupt their work or educational activities, it will be interesting to know how to avoid problems and overcome difficulties. Rules for those who...

And then Maxim’s mother decided to transfer her son to family education. A year later, Maxim had already learned to write properly. So in the second grade he continued his studies as usual. Who is it suitable for? How can we understand which schoolchildren are being prevented from successfully realizing their potential by the classical method of learning? There are several types of children at risk. Type one. The child does not know how to communicate, hear each other...

When will the “eternal” child grow up?

Is infantilism a reluctance to grow up or an immature personality? Is it possible to help a child live up to his age?

Discussion

Yes, we are already 15 years old... I read about infantilism - it sounds like us, I read about neurasthenia - it also looks like, now I’m afraid to read psychiatry... a disease of the 3rd year of medical school, when you find all the diseases from the textbook in yourself, except for fever in pregnancy.

Europeans plan to stop issuing pocket money to children no earlier than their offspring finish their education and begin working full-time. Let us now move from statistics to practice. Let's try to bring to your attention some simple tips on how to organize cash flow from you to your child. When and how to give pocket money to children From what age to give your child pocket money depends on both you and the child. However, it doesn’t hurt to find out whether your child’s friends already have pocket money: children don’t like to be very different from each other. The main reason to give money to children is...
...A Russian high school student, in his free time from school, would rather pore over textbooks or study with tutors than deliver pizza or mow neighbors' lawns. In our country, the “price” of entering a university on the first try is too high. Therefore, we will not talk about the personal earnings of high school students, but let’s move on to students. Let's assume that our children successfully passed their college exams and began to combine study with part-time work. It's time to decide whether a teenager's earnings will play a role in the family budget? Will we take part of the money “for food and rent”? Or will we leave the entire amount to the teenager “for entertainment, transportation and a cell phone”? In any case, it is useful to remember that, in general, this is not our parents’ money. This money belongs to us...

Discussion

I have a conflicting attitude towards pocket money. On the one hand, the travel card has been purchased, the money has been put into a food card at school - and why then the money?
On the other hand, this eternal “but everyone has it” arises. on the third side - no cash, no chips and cola)) I'm really lost...

The agreement must be signed by the manager, chief accountant of the future employer and certified with a seal. If you do not have time to submit the contract to admissions committee, then you will be removed from participation in the competition for targeted training. During study, force majeure circumstances are possible, which are also stipulated in advance in the contract. For example, if you are expelled from the university for poor academic performance, you will not be reinstated under the same conditions. If the reason is valid, then the contract will have to be concluded again, but taking into account the previous training period. There should be a deferral of fulfillment of contractual obligations in such cases as the provision of maternity leave, child care or academic leave. There is a problem... To apply in the direction...

Therefore, all possible measures should be taken to maintain breastfeeding. Try to agree with the dean's office to delay going to school for at least a month, and then try to organize the daily routine this way: feed the child once or twice before you leave and two to three times in the evening; On weekends and holidays, breastfeed only; Save night feedings and ask the person who replaces you during your absence not to feed the baby for two hours before your return. If you are unable to breastfeed your baby for a long period...

Discussion

But I can say one thing - under no circumstances should you take an academic degree. My child is 4 months old, and I just passed the test as one of the best in the group - and now I will receive a scholarship (although I didn’t receive it before). Academician nonsense - when the child is one or two years old, he will need much more attention from his mother than a newborn who will eat, sleep, and smile. And by the way, having passed the test, I in no way paid less attention to the child - I just tried to keep up with everything. I made it and I’m proud of it!

I, as a teacher and former student mother, would still advise taking an academic degree. IMHO, if you don’t have time to do everything, it’s impossible to study properly and pay enough attention to the child. Most likely, you will receive tests and pass exams - we joke that pregnancy and small children are absolute indications for taking tests and exams, but what will remain in your head? In the first months of life, no one can replace a child’s mother. It is by refusing to attend the academy that you lose a year - the most important year in the life of your baby, which will never happen again.
I took the academic course, although my parents, as usual, persuaded me to give birth “on the job” - we’ll manage somehow. But I didn’t want to cope somehow, and the child and studies were very important to me. In the end, I didn’t lose anything - I graduated from college with honors and there were no grades received out of pity, I have a wonderful daughter and I can remember every happy day from this “lost year.”

The schedule is incorrect if the highest points total falls on the first and last days of the week, or if the number of points is the same for all school days. Parent's notebook The head of the press service of the Moscow Department of Education A.V. answers the question. Gavrilov. -At the school where my son studies, the security work is not very well organized. Anyone can easily enter the building, although we regularly donate money to pay for the services of the private security company. Despite parents' complaints, the situation does not change. Moreover, the school director refuses to provide documents confirming that this private security company has the right to guard the school. Is this a violation? Where can we...

But time dictates its own rules: this form of education is in demand and promising, so more and more universities are using it in their practice. The most interesting thing is that officially this form of training does not exist. Of course, this does not mean that universities are breaking the law. Formally, a weekend group is a type of distance learning, but each university decides in its own way how to organize this training. It turns out that classes on weekends are a kind of adaptation of universities to the needs of students. As for the future diploma that the graduate of the weekend group will receive, the situation here is rather vague. According to all the rules, this document must indicate the correspondence form of study. But alone in...
...There are also many positive aspects: you can combine study and work; there are few weekends, but you have vacation that you don’t have to spend on the session (as in a regular correspondence course), and after the end of the working day you are absolutely free (unlike the evening department) You will constantly communicate and consult with teachers; you will have to pay less for studying in a weekend group than for studying in a full-time or evening department at many universities in a group...

Here are a few main reasons when it is more advisable not to force a child to go to school every day, but to transfer him to home schooling: The child is significantly ahead of his peers in terms of mental development. You can often observe a picture when a child has studied the entire program before his peers and is not interested in sitting in class. The kid spins around, interferes with classmates and, as a result, may lose all interest in studying. You can, of course, “jump” after a year (and sometimes after several years) and study with older guys. But in this case, the child will lag behind his classmates in physical, mental and social development. The child has serious hobbies (professionally involved in sports, music, etc.). Combine school with professional...

Older children understand the emergency nature of a situation better and are to some extent more vulnerable to stressful experiences than children younger age. They may even blame themselves for failing to prevent what happened. In order for children to feel protected, it is necessary to create familiar conditions for them as soon as possible - involve them in the life of the new community, organize school studies, games with peers, sporting events and other forms of recreation, a constant schedule of meals and sleep. If a child’s stress reaction is prolonged and becomes acute, he should be provided with qualified help. Drawing or playing with dolls and toys helps children express their feelings and cope with stressful environments...

But, after thinking and digging around here and there, my daughter and I dreamed up and brought such a holiday to life. So... The first point is invitations. My daughter typed them herself and printed them in green, with the name of each invited guest, in the style of invitations to study at Hogwarts, as Harry himself received at the beginning of the first book. I will not give the exact text of the invitation, because... We had all the texts in Hebrew (we live in Israel), we tried to copy the beginning of the invitation from the book. But at the end, instead of a list of books and necessary supplies, it was written: “The necessary supplies can be purchased locally.” In the top corner of the letter...

I would really like to know in more detail how your child’s studies are organized alone with a teacher, without contact with children. It's not that my goal is to limit communication. In general, we make the decision about external studies not in connection with communication, it is simply a by-product. The fact is that they just told me about a school where, literally, “various payment options are possible depending on the number of consultations.” I immediately wondered if this was your option. If possible, describe in more detail how...

Please explain why in all the articles on raising children they encourage parents to teach their children to play and nowhere (for some reason I didn’t come across) is there any mention of the other side of the game (not specific, but in general as a process). Although, perhaps, what is meant is that if the child did NOT learn to play himself, but was taught, then the game is of higher quality and useful? The fact is that no one taught my daughter (now 9.6 years old) to play; she has been playing on her own since she was a year old, in exactly the same way and approximately the same games that I played at one time...

Discussion

But I wouldn’t encourage parents to teach their children to play :)
I would advocate for simply providing a place for children to play.
Finding a normal adult who would teach you to play is a happy occasion in the life of a seven-year-old child. And not every child gets this lucky ticket.
Having a place to play is already great!
Studying is studying. A game is a game.
I don't recommend mixing educational process during a lesson with a game in the yard.
Another thing is to have a place where you can go to play after studying, and from where you can go to class again. And the children themselves will figure out how to act out the lesson, and how to rely on the game while studying...
Give time and space for both.

I wasn't taught to play. And as a child, I played a little because of language classes, etc., plus since I couldn’t, I didn’t really want to, I liked reading more. in my experience, this is fraught, and fraught with quite serious things.

Firstly, there are communication problems. The good thing about role-playing is that it imitates real life and develops communication and behavior skills in different situations. Especially if a child is taught to play it (by adults or older children), because this is how he learns more complex models than he can think of on his own. If there is no play in childhood, then there are significant problems with communication. They, of course, are not fatal, they can be overcome, but why - if you can prevent them.

Secondly, there are big problems with creativity (of any kind), since the game develops imagination like nothing else. It is impossible to replace this with knowledge. And it is VERY difficult to compensate as an adult.

Thirdly, I have problems (I now have) in playing with my own child. You just don’t know how to play, what to play with. Inevitably, there turns out to be a bias again towards intellectualism - books, encyclopedias, mosaics, frame inserts... That is. there is a repetition, if not aggravation, of problems. Even the simplest role-playing game with a doll is difficult. Fortunately, we have a nanny who had a more normal childhood :) Otherwise there would have been a serious danger.

So I, just as you write, a well-mannered child, REGRET that I didn’t have a game. Thank God, at least no one stifled my imagination - otherwise how would I earn a living now :)))

Home education for schoolchildren every year it becomes more and more popular. And many parents are no longer afraid of the prospect of taking responsibility for their children’s education.

Who is it suitable for? learning at home, and what it looks like in practice schoolchildren's home education?

Olga is a psychologist and psychology teacher by education (RIVSH BSU Minsk), a gestalt therapist (Moscow Gestalt Institute), a diploma from the Higher School of Psychology (Moscow) in the program “Coaching and Leadership,” a Master of Business Administration. Teaches in the MBA program.

Good afternoon, Olga! Thank you for agreeing to answer our questions!

What pros and cons do you see in home education?

The most important advantage is the health of the children. Different researchers come to the same conclusion: school worsens children’s health. If we take research from the Ministry of Health, we can say that the older schoolchildren get, the less healthy they are. By the end of school, the number of healthy children drops by 3-4 times. 93% of graduates have various diseases: neuropsychiatric disorders, gastritis, scoliosis, etc.

Children spend time immobile, are in a physiologically harmful position at their desks, in constant tension: fear of answering at the blackboard, conflicts with classmates, noise during breaks, inadequate nutrition at school... Children spend several hours a day in serious stress. Plus, the burden of homework is added to this.

TO high school the difference between children who spend on school lessons and homework for 9 hours, and a child studying at home for 2 hours. The second spends the rest free time in the fresh air, he gets enough sleep, and can afford to play sports.

If parents are able to pay for the services of a good tutor, it is obvious that educational material will be learned better than in a school class of 25 children.

Homeschooled children They are more independent from evaluation and from other people’s opinions, they are more result-oriented and more independent. Children get used to not being in a herd or in a crowd. They grow up with bright personalities. From my point of view, this is a plus. Although parents with such children have a more difficult time than with an obedient child ( smiling).

The disadvantages of home education affect mainly parents ( smiling).

For mom, homeschooling becomes a second job - in fact, it is the work of the director of a mini-school. We need to find teachers, organize the educational process and logistics (if travel is necessary), and spend a lot of time with the children.

Every year there are more and more children being homeschooled in Russia. Now their number has reached 100,000 people.

What is the difference between family education and distance learning?

The Law “On Education in the Russian Federation” offers the following forms of education:

- full-time - regular school;

- part-time - part-time - a child can study some subjects at school, and some - take exams;

— correspondence (including distance learning);

- family education and self-education - education not according to the school curriculum, but as parents want.

The difference between correspondence education and family education is that in the first case the child strictly adheres to the school program, and in family education– learns what parents think is more correct.

It turns out that with the family form of education the child will be left without a certificate?

No. The child can take the final exams externally. It’s just that with this form of education there is no strict adherence to the school plan.

When do you need to take exams?

You can take current tests during the school year according to the school plan and be assigned a student to a specific class. In this case, you have the right to receive advice from teachers.

Or you can study according to the family form and, when you need a certificate, you will need to take all subjects at school.

How do you know if homeschooling is right for your child?

This training option is suitable for all children if it is compensated by parents.

Parents must be responsible and have the resources to provide their child with a complete environment, both learning and socially. If you think that someone else will have to organize this without your direct participation, then home schooling is not suitable for your family.

Also, the option of teaching at home may not be suitable for children - social activists who simply need power, social and organizational activities. In this case, school may be almost the only place to realize these ambitions. But there are only a few such children...

How will a homeschooled child learn to interact with peers? How does socialization work?

If we count 24 hours a day for three months during the summer holidays, another month of autumn, winter and spring holidays, plus Saturdays and Sundays, plus holidays and time outside of school - this is how much time a year a child is away from the school community.

Then you need to take into account that this very socialization at school takes place during school breaks, which last 10 minutes. How long can a child freely communicate with peers at school? Can we be sure that this meager time will ensure the child’s socialization?

The best socialization occurs in companies that do not have adult supervision, so to speak, in an unstructured society. The ideal option is a yard company. Or in associations of interests: circles and sections. There are various health camps and sanatoriums. This is more than enough to learn how to interact with people.

When children of the same age are herded into a school building without any common interests, this is the wrong model for socialization. In real adult life, the models are different.

People have common goals and interests of different ages. Therefore, I believe that the school model even worsens or reduces socialization. If we take the definition of socialization from Wikipedia, which is the ability to achieve success in adult society, then the likelihood of adult success after the school model decreases.

In many schools, teachers do not monitor the upbringing of children. We can observe bullying from classmates, even crimes by children against each other... And acquiring the habit of pleasing antisocial individuals at school is not at all the correct socialization of a child.

Socialization is making friends with more successful people and doing joint projects with them, the ability to join a team to work together and achieve goals. It turns out that it is activities based on interests that contribute to socialization.

What should parents be prepared for when transferring their child to home schooling?

Firstly, be prepared for criticism, gloomy forecasts and predictions from friends and relatives. There will definitely be public pressure. Our people cannot calmly look at those who do not follow the social order like everyone else ( smiling). And parents need to learn to send all well-wishers to go about their business.

Secondly, parents must be prepared for the financial and time costs. It’s easier for parents of children who go to school - they shift all responsibility to the school, and nothing concerns them.

How much time and money will homeschooling require from parents?

This depends on the ambitions of the parents and the degree of their desire to take direct part in the educational process.

You will need tutors in at least the following subjects: mathematics, physics, chemistry and Russian. Also in specialized subjects for the selected university.

The school curriculum with tutors is mastered ten times faster. And it turns out not so expensive if you hire tutors in the 6th-7th grade.

Additional classes in sections and clubs. It all depends on the parents’ capabilities: you can enroll your child in free classes at municipal institutions, or you can pay for the most prestigious and expensive club in the city.

How to choose the right tutor?

For me important criterion is sincere love and good attitude towards children. In addition, the teacher should have his eyes “on fire” about his subject; he himself should be interested! I usually look for teachers by recommendations.

It is also important to find out what the cost of a lesson is for this tutor, and for how long he can give the school program in his subject. As a rule, 100-200 hours of study are enough to get a normal grade, 200-300 hours - for excellent knowledge of the subject.

Does the school somehow participate in the life of a homeschooled child?

School teachers visit only those children who are home-schooled for medical reasons. Usually these are children with disabilities.

If you are assigned to a school, then you are required to be provided with textbooks.

How to properly organize the day of a child who is studying at home?

If with schooling a child spends about 9 hours a day on school lessons and homework, then with home schooling the same amount of knowledge can be obtained in 2-3 hours. Imagine how much time a child has for extra sleep and walks!

In addition, there is no loss of time listening to other people's answers in class, establishing discipline in the classroom, or moving from class to class. The child is engaged in productive activities, spending very little time. For example, my daughter completes her six-month math workbook in a day and a half.

Therefore, there is no need to organize the day in any way. Of course, tutors come at certain times, there is a schedule for attending additional classes, clubs and sports sections. Specifically, there is no point in organizing classes at home according to the clock.

If a child is eager to go to school, of course, let him go. Don't deprive him of this experience. You can transfer your child to home schooling at any time.

If you decide something, then everything will work out!

(c) Interview with Olga Yurkovskaya for the deti-yar.ru project

interviewed by Lyubov Klimova

Debunking myths about the need for school

Why don't I send my children to school?

A strange question... I am rather perplexed why smart, educated city residents, especially those who have reached career heights and material security, break their children by innocently imprisoning them for eleven years in this System.

Yes, of course, in past centuries in the villages the Teacher was much more developed and financially secure, had a higher social position and level of culture than the children’s parents. And now?

Even then, the nobles did not send their children to schools, they organized education at home...

Why does a child need school and why does parents need it?

It is very convenient for working parents to put their child in a storage room under minimal supervision, consoling themselves with the fact that everyone does this. The position of non-working mothers with a wealthy husband looks more strange, who are so stressed by their own children that they even send them to after-school care... It seems that these children were given birth only as a way to provide for themselves financially, and if it were possible to send them to a boarding school without losing in money and public opinion, then almost all of them would do so...

A child almost never needs school. I have not yet met a single child who would want to continue going to school at the end of October instead of the holidays. Yes, of course, the child wants to socialize or play with friends, but not sit in class. That is, if you provide a child with comfortable communication outside of school, attending school completely loses its meaning for the child...

School doesn't teach kids anything

Now let's look at popular social myths that force parents to mindlessly maim their own children.

Myth one: school teaches (gives the child knowledge, education).

Modern urban children go to school already knowing how to read, write and count. No other knowledge acquired at school is used in adult life. The school curriculum consists of a haphazard collection of facts to be learned. Why remember them? Yandex will answer any questions much better. Those children who choose the appropriate specialization will study physics or chemistry again. The rest, after graduating from school, cannot remember what they were taught all these dreary years.

Considering that the school curriculum has not changed for many decades, and in it the child’s handwriting is much more important than the blind ten finger print on a computer keyboard, school does not give a child any truly useful knowledge and skills for further success in adult life. Even if we assume that it is precisely this set of facts that a child really needs for memorizing a school subject, it can be given ten times faster.

What do tutors do successfully, teaching a child in a hundred hours what the teacher did not teach in 10 years and a thousand hours...

In general, this is a very strange system, when a thousand hours are stretched over several years... Already at the institute, each subject is taught in larger blocks over six months or a year. And a very strange method of teaching, when children are forced to sit still and listen to something...

The experience of numerous parents of applicants shows that several years of studying a subject - over a thousand hours at school plus homework - do not help the student know the subject sufficiently to enter a good university. In the last two school years, a tutor is hired and re-teaches the child this subject - as a rule, one hundred hours is enough to be among the best in the class.

I believe that a tutor (or computer programs, interesting textbooks with lively text, educational films, specialized clubs and courses) can be taken from the very beginning, in grades 5-6-7, without torturing the child, with this thousand hours of time A in the free time the child can find something he likes, INSTEAD OF SCHOOL.

School interferes with children's socialization.

Myth two: school is needed for the socialization of a child.

Socialization is the process of an individual’s assimilation of patterns of behavior, psychological attitudes, social norms and values, knowledge, skills that allow him function successfully in society. (Wikipedia)

What can be considered success in society? Who do we consider successful people? As a rule, they are accomplished professionals who make good money from their craft. Respected people who do their work very well and receive decent money for it.

In any field. Perhaps entrepreneurs – business owners.

Top managers. Major government officials. Prominent public figures. Popular athletes, artists, writers.

These people are distinguished primarily by ability to achieve your goals. Speed ​​of thinking. Ability to act. Activity. Strength of will. Perseverance. And, as a rule, they put in a lot of effort before achieving results. They know how not to leave things halfway. Excellent communication skills - negotiations, sales, public performance, effective social connections. The ability to make decisions instantly and act immediately. Stress resistance. Fast, high-quality work with information. The ability to concentrate on one thing, discarding everything else. Observation. Intuition. Sensitivity. Leadership skills. The ability to make choices and take responsibility for them. Sincere passion for your business. And not only with their own work - their interest in life and cognitive activity is often no worse than that of preschoolers. They know how to give up unnecessary things.

They know how to find good teachers (mentors) and quickly learn things that are important for their development and career.

They think systematically and easily take a meta-position.

Does school teach these qualities?

Rather, on the contrary...

All the years of school, it is obvious that there is no question of any sincere passion - even if a student manages to become interested in a couple of subjects, they cannot be chosen by abandoning the uninteresting. They cannot be studied in depth at school. Most often they are carried away outside of school.

Achieving a result is of no interest to anyone - the bell has rung, and you must quit what you haven’t finished and go to the next lesson. For all 11 years, a child is taught that the result is not necessary and not important. Any business should be abandoned halfway through the call.

Speed ​​of thinking? When targeting average or weak students? When teaching with outdated, ineffective methods? With complete intellectual dependence on the teacher, when only thoughtless repetition of previously stated facts is allowed? A student with a high speed of thinking is simply not interested in lessons. At best, the teacher simply does not interfere with his reading under his desk.

Strength of will? Activity? The system will make every effort to make the child obedient. “Be like everyone else. Keep your head down,” is this the life wisdom that is needed for adult success in society?

They don’t teach high-quality work with information at school - most average students simply do not understand the text they read, and cannot analyze and formulate the main idea.

Responsibility for choice? So students are not given a choice...

Negotiations and public speaking? Development of intuition and sensitivity?

Leadership skills? Ability to act? Not included in the program at all...

The ability to give up the unnecessary needs to be replaced with the opposite ability to endure the unnecessary and useless for years.

Instead of internal reference, children develop emotional dependence on the often biased opinions of others, such as the teacher. This occurs against the backdrop of complete control of the student. A child does not have the right to express his own opinion with impunity.

Unfortunately, one can only dream about all the good teachers in school. More often than not, few urban parents are less educated and socially successful than teachers to prefer a teacher as a role model. WITH modern teachers the so-called “double negative selection” occurs: first, those who could not score points at a more prestigious university enter teacher training universities, and then only the least initiative graduates remain to work at the school, the rest find higher-paid and more prestigious jobs.

In general, the only society that is similar to school in adult life is prison. But it’s easier for the prisoners there than for the children: they are of different ages, with different interests, they are not forced to do uninteresting things. There they understand why they are being punished. They will be released sooner than after 11 years, if they have not received a sentence for murder.

Is the school classroom a model of adult society? This is not true - I personally do not live in a world where all people are the same age... Where they have no common interests... Where I am forced to obey an underpaid loser... Where no matter how passionate I am about a task, after 45 minutes of a call I would have to quit it without achieve the result and run to another room...

Adults have a choice: what to do (and you can always change jobs and bosses), with whom to communicate, what to consider as a result, what interests to have.

IN modern world The upbringing, education and socialization of a child is the responsibility of the parents. When we send our child to school, we simply arrange things so that he does not disturb us. We are improving our lives now at the expense of his future career and happiness.

An alternative to educational traditions

How to harm a child with an assessment

Very often, parents consider the grades their child brings home from school as an important indicator of their parental success. And instead of giving responsibility for their children’s studies, such mothers and fathers make a serious mistake. They try to convince the child that his entire value is determined by the assessments of other people's aunts. What strangers think about him turns out to be more important than what kind of child he is, what inclinations and interests the child has.

When parents convey to their children that the external assessment of strangers is the most important thing in a child’s life, then this is a way to raise a child insecure, without his own opinion and his own choice.

If we scold children for bad grades, and even more often we scold not for bad grades, but for not the highest grades, then in fact we are trying to convince the child that his entire value is determined by other people’s grades, and what strangers think about him , is more important than what kind of child he is. As soon as we begin to make complaints to a child about the fact that he does not have the maximum grade, we immediately begin to do our best to form this dependence on other people’s opinions, contrary to our own.

Why is it good school system for the state and why is it bad for those parents who want something more for their children than working on an assembly line or working as a state employee? Precisely because at ten or eleven years old a child is taught that his opinion about himself is not significant. Only the opinion of strangers, expressed in the form of an assessment, matters.

It doesn't matter what the score is. “Excellent”, “good”, “satisfactory” - any of the assessments shifts the focus of our child’s attention from his, what is called in psychology, “internal reference”, that is, from his reliance on his own knowledge about himself, to his own opinion about himself, on his own opinion about some necessary important and necessary matters, on the contrary, on the fact that the child believes that he does not mean anything, the only thing that matters is what others think about him.

It turns out that by being too attentive to someone else’s assessment of our child, we are essentially betraying him and making him a loser. As a result, an adult does not have his own opinion; someone else’s assessment is more important to him than his own. Adult fear of negative evaluation is usually formed during the school years - by parents who attach inappropriately great importance to school grades.

Although in reality almost all adults understand perfectly well that at the age of 30 it does not matter whether you got a C in chemistry in the eighth grade does not in any way affect your adult success. Or an excellent grade in physics does not guarantee you love and success in business when you are 40.

So why harm your children?

How do “children without school” and their mother live?

I decided to collect in one note my answers to the numerous questions that I am asked after articles about the shortcomings of the school and alternative learning at home.

1. I don't have an answer to the question of whether personalized learning is right for you and your children. I DON'T KNOW. I don't know you.

Homeschooling is not for everyone. A small percentage of the population of any country is capable of taking responsibility for the development of their children. Most parents find it easier to send their child somewhere rather than do it themselves. Particularly because even a parent-manager or teacher finds it much more difficult to motivate his own child than the adults subordinate to him.

And not all parents have enough resources to provide their children with a good educational environment.

2. The experience of countries where homeschooling is the norm statistically confirms the benefits of homeschooling. As a result, home-schooled American children enter the best universities. And in the future they receive many times larger salaries. This is not least because parents invest much more effort into their children at home. Therefore, grown children build more successful careers.

3. It won't be easy right away. In the beginning you will have to go through a lot:

1) Step over your fears: “how I won’t be like everyone else,” “what if I’m depriving my child of something,” “I can’t handle it,” “they will judge me,” “it’s very expensive and takes a lot of time,” and etc.

2) “Fight the battle” with relatives and school administration in order to enroll the child in an individual plan.

3) Constantly listen to moral teachings from relatives and people around you about how wrong you are living. And their dire predictions for your children.

4) Organize the educational process yourself.

5) Pay for tutors and spend much more time with the child.

My experience and the experience of my friends (excellent tutors, teachers “from God”) shows that the child does not perceive his own mother and “does not listen.” You can teach strangers anything. But their own children learn only through joint activities (games, conversations, discussions, activities, etc.). The format of “lessons” with your own children, as a rule, does not work. Teaching your children (not through joint activities, but through lessons) is much more difficult than being a teacher to strangers. The child is used to a different relationship with his mother.

You can, of course, teach your child yourself. But personally, a tutor costs me less (I earn more during this time than if I tutored the children myself). And it’s more efficient in terms of time - she explains faster and gets results than I can. For a day of my work, I pay for a year of work for a tutor with my children. And freed from the need to engage in uninteresting and unnecessary school routine. There are a million more useful and interesting things to do together than teaching school lessons to your child. I prefer to be an authority for a child in the field of my professional knowledge, rather than stand over his soul with dictations or demand that he tell me the rules from the textbook. So it’s better to save your nerves and earn more during this time. Hire a tutor - “someone else’s aunt” will teach you school subjects faster.

And involve your child in your adult affairs. Give him a feasible job within your profession, for example. Send them to different clubs. Download educational games.

A tutor comes to my daughters once a week for 1.5 hours - that’s enough. Children read a lot on their own and it is easy for them to learn.

5. The ability for self-development is killed at school. IN kindergarten Children are endlessly interested in everything and develop very quickly. By leaving your child to study at home, you maintain his cognitive activity.

6. It’s also very convenient to motivate a child to perform independent tasks“the most terrible threat”: “If you don’t do the test on time, you will be removed from the individual plan. And you will be required to go to school every day.” It works very well... Especially if the rest of the motivation is “managed” by the tutor. For example, my daughters really don’t want to upset her, so they quickly do all the tasks before she arrives.

7. On an individual plan (in Belarus) in primary school children are required to pass tests or tests in the main subjects: Russian and Belarusian (language and literature), mathematics, the world, English. Then other items will be added. You can do this at least once every quarter. It’s more convenient for me and easier for the children to do this once a week as the class progresses through the program - the teacher gives assignments home, checks the completed ones, calls them to the board in those lessons that my children agreed to attend (and persuades them to go more often - they don’t want to at all, despite continuous praise and 10's). They write some of the tests in class so that the teacher makes sure that they themselves know, and not someone at home decided for them. Basically, they do a weekly program in 1.5 hours with a tutor. This doesn’t concern me in any case, my favorite phrase is: “4 (out of 10) is an excellent rating so as not to be removed from the individual plan. Enough!!!"

To apply for an individual plan, you only need an application from the documents. But in order for the school director and teacher council to allow it (nowadays in Belarus it is at their discretion), you need to communicate with them normally, tell them why your child cannot attend school every day. The easiest way is to register at the school where children are already studying on an individual basis (call and find out at your RONO). They need clear arguments: about the child playing professional sports during lessons, about parents’ endless business trips or generally living outside the country part of the time... Some simple explanation that it’s not school that’s bad, but simply not the opportunity to go every day (but we’ll try to go to the maximum) ;)

Teachers are comfortable with such children - they are in the class, and there is no need to teach it; it is easier to teach when there are fewer children

For a really good relationship, you can invite your own teacher to be a paid tutor once a week (ours refused, saying that she couldn’t take money and tutor when the child was already keeping up :))

8. With the current focus on lagging and average children, even the most excellent teacher does not have the opportunity to work normally with “strong” children. My daughters are very, very bored in class: I decided that I and all my neighbors had nothing to do. But half the class can't cope. I don’t even understand what children are doing in elementary school, if instead of 25 hours mine study for 1.5 hours a week with a tutor - and they have 9 and 10.

The daughters are in the class. Each morning they have the choice to attend all classes. Do not want. At all. They prefer to stop by for a while to take tests and take new ones.

9. Grades are not important to me at all. No way. And most of all, I want to protect children from this school assessment - as I wrote, it harms real achievements in adult life.

It harms both excellent students and poor students. Wrong criteria from the wrong results and by the wrong people...

When a child wins (or loses) in sports, this is the correct assessment - based on the result. But not a school grade.

IN schooling there is no way to make a real assessment. It doesn't have everything practical application and measurable results.

If my daughter manages to read half a book while her neighbor at her desk reads one page, then this is not a reason to give her a 10 - there is no result for her. This is an indicator that she has been reading for 6 years, has taken speed reading courses and has read several hundred books. But my neighbor hasn’t even read ten books; she learned to read at school and has been reading for two years using a poor method.

Therefore, assessment in such a situation harms both girls (especially self-esteem) - it is not their results (but the results different approach to teaching their mothers).

My rating is that a child is busy with something with interest and passion – 10. ;)

And all attempts at assessment are a failure! ;)

For example, a beadwork circle - each girl makes her own products (she chooses what she wants from the samples) - the result is clear, the process is a pleasure. And no grades are needed... I like this kind of activity for children - each at their own pace, some will make one product, some 10, some simple, some super complex... And why else are there grades?

Or an animation club (at the computer).

It’s all free with us - and much more useful and fun than school lessons...

I am categorically against assessments - life will appreciate the result, why traumatize and spoil childhood...

10. School subjects don’t bother me at all - I sincerely don’t understand why it is necessary to teach exactly such a volume of just such disciplines (I would formulate the program completely differently, now we are not in an agricultural or industrial age, but very much in the information age).

Parents still hire tutors before entering a university - I prefer to do this right away (grades 6-7 or whenever), without first torturing the children with a thousand hours of incorrect study of the subject. In just 100-200 hours of interesting individual lessons, the child will know the subject better than the school teacher;) saving 1000 hours for more exciting activities than sitting in class;)

Studying with tutors can be replaced with free clubs in the relevant field. Or preparatory courses at BSU - it’s inexpensive.

My and my friends’ children go to almost all of my and my friends’ clubs either for FREE or for a nominal fee.

11. My children cannot have any problems with mathematics thanks to chess, handling Belarusian money.

With humanities subjects after speed reading courses (later we will go through advanced levels), the issue is closed up to and including institute

My children read a lot, so they write correctly - there is a direct relationship.

That is, there is simply nothing for daughters to do at school - out-of-school teaching methods allow them to absorb a larger amount of information several tens (or hundreds) times faster.

School is nothing more than a storage room for children. My children can spend a good time at home too

12. A child’s ability to be in society is best developed in “yard companies.” When interaction occurs without boundaries and without adult control. This could be a group of children with a grandmother in the village or at the dacha, in a sanatorium or pioneer camp, after a club or school, at competitions, and so on. The point is that during 10 minutes of recess under the supervision of teachers, the child’s ability to interact with other people does not develop as well as in a freer environment. And we spend at least 5 hours every day doing this... For what?! There is always an alternative: as a child, I made more friends in the company of chess and in the yard. Moreover, in sports sections There is almost no risk of being bullied, as often happens at school.

13. About the teachers.

I have never seen a single argument proving that highly paid, successful people work in modern Belarusian schools. The fact that 30-40 years ago some of you had a “star” staff of teachers in individual schools - has no relation to the current situation. We grew up in a different time, when everyone's salaries were approximately equal. With other teachers - respected people in society. Now everything is different.

With modern teachers, the so-called “double negative selection” occurs: first, those who were unable to score points at a more prestigious university enter teacher training colleges, and then only the least initiative graduates remain to work at the school, the rest find higher-paid and more prestigious jobs.

For me, isolated examples of wonderful people among teachers of past centuries are never an argument for me to send my children to be “scrapped” in modern system Belarusian school education. I absolutely don’t see the relationship between Janusz Korczak and the students of the pedagogical university who did not get the passing grade for admission to a more prestigious institute... And then, according to assignment, they teach poor children what they themselves don’t really know... They creep before the administration, they step on their own beliefs every day, they are guided by their fears, they complain on the sidelines and still obediently fulfill everything that is required of them outside the scope of the contract...

I can't stop seeing that most of the teachers have stopped growing professionally. Many of these women did not have the best life personal life- and this is transmitted to children... And teachers in schools remain at their jobs not because this is their calling and every hour of work is a joy to them, but rather out of despair: all these “I’ll work until I retire” or “what else can I do” ...

I can respect people for their actions and actions. For strength of character, for will. I don’t see any point in treating other than indifference to whiners who do nothing to improve their lives, who pompously rant, blaming more successful people, but even their envy does not help them start doing something with themselves and their lives.

And I don’t want my children to spend their childhood listening to ideology and other delightful activities...

14. Of course, there are exceptions. Isolated cases. But out of dozens of teachers, how many “exceptions” will teach your child, especially in grades 5-11? And what should the students of the other teachers do? And what should parents answer when their child asks: “Mom, why does the teacher yell at us all the time?” Do you have any other answer other than: “Because I’m unsuitable!”???

15. I proceed from the concept that society pays for the work of each person in accordance with the BENEFIT brought by the person: if we take away from the “good” forcibly inflicted on schoolchildren the harm that teachers cause by imposing discipline, ideology, equalization and other delights of school, then labor Most teachers are assessed quite adequately. Or even half of the teachers may have a negative value, that is, they are overpaid...

16. Each person chooses for himself: where and with whom he works, how much and how he earns, what his life is filled with. Teachers themselves CHOSE to shove unclaimed, unnecessary knowledge into unmotivated people for a shameful salary. The same goes for saleswomen and assembly line workers: these people CHOOSE not to learn and not to grow.

My friends and I earn decent money: but we are all constantly learning, at any age.

I spend more annually on my education than the average annual salary in the country. And your time. Despite three children and work. I read hundreds of professional books every year, listen to audio courses while driving, and watch hundreds of hours of video courses - all of this is available on the Internet for free. They prefer to watch TV. That's why I shouldn't sympathize their small salary and low status!!! What did they THEMSELVES do to improve their lives???

We are colleagues with teachers: TEACHERS. But I don’t have to bear all their burdens and not be a “respected person in society.” Because I don’t hold on to the “bet”, but have taken shape Individual entrepreneur And I'm responsible myself for their income level.

I do not have such pride as to try to become a TEACHER for children who are forced to be in the same room with me. I prefer to teach people who care and need what I show. For whom what they receive from me will IMPROVE their lives. It will be useful and will be used.

I respect tutors: these people don’t sit and whine about how little they are paid and how badly they are treated... They EARN EARNINGS!!!

17. I was taught and taught now by people who earn more per day than the annual salary of school teachers. Everything I can and know (that I use in life), I received from outside school walls. I can't remember a single teacher from all my schools from whom I would receive at least something that I use in my life now.

18. In teaching my children, I prefer to use the findings and methodological materials of business trainers and management consultants - this is closer to me professionally than the methodological developments of Belarusian teachers... ;)

19. Personally, I have nothing to do with the school education system. Just a mom who chose to homeschool her children. I don't care about government policy. I am not fighting for “world peace.” Everything suits me. As long as they don't interfere. I am sure that if every person takes care of his family and his business/work with maximum dedication, then the life of the entire society will be much better than from endless “talking shops” and demagoguery. I have neither the time nor the desire to participate in political discussions.

20. I don’t consider myself a role model, God forbid - I’m not at all drawn to this narcissism;) I do not and will not have a goal to please EVERYONE. I live my life, raise my children. I wish the same for everyone. I write my thoughts and my experiences with my children. Other parents will have different experiences.

21. I willingly answer questions like “how to do this?” or “how are you doing?” But I am not tolerant of evaluative statements about my inconsistency with other people’s ideals. As a rule, I remove aggressive evaluative judgments addressed to me. And I immediately click “block” those inadequate people who allow themselves such ridiculous behavior.

Why won't modern school change anytime soon?

When I hear how education officials begin to scold, I am always surprised. If we consider the Ministry of Education as a business structure, then they work great - the customer pays money for the desired result, and for years they clearly deliver the paid product in accordance with the “technical specifications”.

Try to forget the demagoguery and rhetorical speeches of officials. Think about what two functions are performed by a school commissioned and paid for by the state? Yes, right. First of all, children should not interfere parents work for the state (if not work as a public sector employee, then at least pay taxes). To do this, children must be safely supervised during the working day. In principle, the school does not care whether the child can use the knowledge acquired at his desk in real life. Our schools are responsible only for the physical safety of children.

Secondly, graduates should fill empty jobs. Who is the state missing? What positions are often vacant? Artists? Writers? Actresses? Directors? Singers? Of course not. The school is implementing a national goal: to produce standard socialized robots to work as officials and factory workers. And the Ministry of Education is doing an excellent job with this task.

Basically, the state has a problem with filling the most “non-prestigious” places - it needs workers and state employees. That is, the school is faced with the task of creating “dumb” personnel during the training process for unfilled vacancies with low-paid routine work. And the school copes with this task perfectly.

The way of teaching that we have as a given does not burden children intellectually, but, on the contrary, discourages them from learning and kills cognitive activity. High-quality learning is only possible through living and doing it yourself. All this information noise, called lessons at school, is not learning, but a waste of time and the deliberate “dumbing down” of the child.

Children need real-life activities that are fun and understandable. An experience that can be reproduced with one’s own hands is important for a child. Take, for example, chemistry or physics - the most boring subjects in school. However, in Moscow there is the “Professor Nicolas Show”, which demonstrates physical and chemical experiments at children's parties and birthdays. The children are delighted - they are interested in this clear and visual form of learning.

The essence of our educational culture is simple: the school curriculum, to put it mildly, is outdated, and the skills and knowledge acquired do not at all correspond to what a child really needs in life, and even more so does not correspond to the necessary skills of an adult - in a well-paid job or in business. At the same time, the school curriculum is so easy and primitive that it can be done with the help of modern techniques teaching is mastered by a smart child in a much shorter period of time than allotted for it. Therefore, it is easier for more developed children to go through it without entering into confrontation with the existing system, but necessary knowledge receive independently or with the help of interested adults.

Let's look at exactly how education is organized at school from the point of view of obtaining the result the state needs - training a worker for an assembly line at a factory or training a minor official.

What is assembly line work? These are the same type of routine operations that do not have ultimate goal. The worker does them mechanically, without thinking. Creative thinking and free will are prohibited. Similarly, in school it is forbidden to solve problems not according to the scheme, but in a new way. You must do everything as it is written in the textbook. The child must give answers to questions, clearly repeating them after the teacher, without expressing his opinion under pain of a bad grade.

The start of work, breaks, and end of work are strictly regulated - both at the factory and at school. All children should be equally “working” - they study the same disciplines at the same speed. The manifestation of a child’s personal characteristics is prohibited or condemned.

The teaching methodology is designed to “dumb down” children through obedience, to accustom the child to the routine repetition of primitive operations.

School lessons consist of a complete waste of time. They are making noise, they are seated - it is necessary to quiet the whole class, several minutes pass until the teacher calms everyone down. We opened the textbooks - it will take a few minutes until everyone finds the right page. The teacher repeats the same thing from lesson to lesson and asks the children the same thing.

The main forces of teachers are spent on teaching children to automatically obey, to work exactly on cue, to mechanically repeat what they have learned.

Thus, in 11 years, the state manages to create socialized “robots” out of approximately 90% of children, willing to do physical work or routine “mechanical” pseudo-intellectual labor every day for a small salary of a public sector employee. Which is the second function of the school besides the “storage room”.

Our statesmen are not able to foresee the near future. So why does the state need to change anything in the education system if the existing system, in their opinion, copes with the assigned tasks perfectly?

What does the future hold for our children?

In recent years, the world has been changing at tremendous speed. We are bombarded with information, new technologies are constantly being invented, and our lives are almost incomparable to the lives of our ancestors. Society has changed so much that the time-tested recipes “how to live correctly” from our grandmothers and great-grandmothers no longer work.

Their parenting recipes did not work for our mothers, even in raising our generation. Moreover, they cannot work on our children. And if we want our children not to get lost in this world, so that they can act normally, build a career or their own business, create happy families, then we need to do something differently.

Let's go back to nineteen fourteen - a hundred years ago. How did any peasant family live? “The horse slowly climbs up the mountain,” and a six-year-old child is a full-fledged labor unit. Mom doesn’t have to think about his education, his self-realization, or unlocking his personal potential. Everything is fine with them: he is a man at six years old, the second man in the family, he carries brushwood. And he will live like this all his life. And everything is fine with my mother, she doesn’t need to take her to classes or pay for a tutor - life is good.

As soon as we talk about people who in those years wanted to give their children more than a hard peasant fate, for example, about nobles, then household appliances were replaced by a cook and a maid, the child was not even given tutors, but foreign tutors were hired with accommodation. And after home education, the children went to an elite lyceum with highly paid teaching staff.

If we take Soviet times, our grandmothers were lucky to have our mothers - everything was clear and understandable. There was a school next to the house. Or the child could strain himself and enter the best gymnasium, then the university. If a child “didn’t have the desire” to go to college, he, oddly enough, after vocational school, earned more at the factory than an engineer with higher education.

And it was clear what and how to teach children. The parents’ task was quite simple: to get them into a better school and help them get into a more prestigious institute, after which the child’s life would automatically settle normally. What to do with children was completely clear in the Soviet Union - the child would finish school, graduate from a university and be a respected member of society.

Unfortunately, now graduating from any Russian university no longer gives anyone any guarantees. But the Russian school will be of little help to those dreaming of entering Harvard.

And parents who want success and happiness for their children have a problem: the world is changing very quickly. In a maximum of ten years, technology and robots will replace many routine operations associated with physical labor. There are already factories that employ two operators instead of a thousand workers. Two people control the robots, the rest is automated. Robots have been invented to replace the labor of cleaners, drivers, and workers. A number of professions will soon disappear, just as pagers recently disappeared.

All that remains is to reduce the cost of production, and routine low-paid physical labor will be transferred to technology. In 20 years, none of our children will be able to go to work as a janitor, worker or taxi driver, even if they want to. As soon as robots become cheaper as part of mass production, any entrepreneur will choose not to hire a worker, but to buy a robot that works three shifts, does not get sick and does not drink. The cost of purchasing a robot due to savings on salaries, sick leave and vacation pay will be recouped in a couple of years.

People who fail to become intellectually developed and creative will live on welfare, because simple physical work There will be practically nothing left for them. Technology now is significantly different from what it was 20 years ago. And in another 20 years, our children will have to live in a world where physical labor will be almost completely transferred to technology and robots.

The second type of work that will almost disappear in the expected future is routine intellectual work, gradually being replaced by computer programs. Thanks to IT technologies, where previously a thousand accountants were required, five, but highly qualified ones, will be enough, the rest will be calculated by a computer. Thanks to automation and the introduction of e-government systems, the need for officials will significantly decrease. The number of jobs with routine, non-creative work, previously considered intellectual, will be reduced tenfold due to IT technologies.

It is obvious that our statesmen cannot calculate the change in the structure of the labor market. They are unable to prepare in advance for that new world where there will be robots, where everything will be in computer programs, where there will be no demand for low-skilled labor and for the modern level of education of schoolchildren and students in the post-Soviet space. And this trend is visible in Western countries– a huge number of workers have become unemployed, they cannot find another job, they sit on social benefits and die by drinking themselves to death, because there is no meaning in life, no goals. Similarly, university graduates in these countries cannot find a job based on their diploma.

And either our children will receive a different education thanks to us, or we, with the help of school, will spend their childhood on knowledge and skills that were useful in the 19th century, but in 20 years will not even help the child simply find any job and feed himself. Yes, there will be individual brilliant children who will “make their way on their own.” But are you sure that your child will be one of them? Personally, I prefer to give my children the knowledge, skills and abilities that are in demand in the modern world.

(6 ratings, average: 3,00 out of 5)

Hello, friends!

My last story caused a heated discussion. Thank you for your valuable comments, which greatly complemented the article itself!

Today, as promised, I will talk about how to organize your child’s studies at home so that it does not turn into a constant battle “for example” or for an extra line in the copybook.

Let me explain the problem: At school everything is simple: all the children come, everyone looks at the teacher, everyone goes to the board and says something. Of course, someone yawns and looks out the window, someone pulls their neighbor’s pigtail, but in general, children know when the lesson starts, when it ends, and how long the break will last. Everyone quickly learns that you can’t play with toys in class, that you can’t talk, and other rules that greatly simplify the teacher’s work.

Studying at home is a different matter: there are toys on the floor, favorite books on the shelf, and someone playing nearby. younger brother. In warm weather, the yard, sandbox and bicycle are included in the temptations. In general, I don’t want to write, read, solve anything, but I just want to play, play...

(Playing, of course, is important! And this is one of the reasons why we chose CO:
the child has several hours a day to PLAY!)

Today I’ll tell you how this problem is solved in our family. I’ll say right away that my son is now in 2nd grade. He studies practically on his own 1-2 hours a day. He decides what he will do today - only mathematics or only Russian or both. He chooses the format himself: dictation, several exercises from workbook, essays or olympiad assignments in the Russian language. Exactly the same in mathematics. He himself leafs through textbooks, problem books, opens the necessary sites on the Internet and only sometimes asks to check.

But it didn’t happen right away: there were tears, and “I don’t want to,” and throwing textbooks. Now I will try to summarize and describe the most effective tools that helped us cope with this:

Soil preparation: mode. Children who go to school need to be prepared for this event so that they understand what awaits them in class, what recess is and other intricacies of school education. Also, children planning to study at home must be prepared for this form of education. It is advisable to introduce a clear regime at least a year before the start, which will fit into the time when the child will study.

If the child is used to studying after breakfast, if the child clearly knows what blocks his learning consists of, if he has an idea of ​​how long he will study and what will happen next, then you practically do not need to waste energy, nerves, or come up with sophisticated methods manipulation or motivation.

But initially, if at school this rhythm is created by the school, then at home you will have to puff. Of course, this rhythm should satisfy the needs of all family members - younger children definitely need a morning walk, preschoolers need time to play during the day, mother should have the opportunity to relax or do something for the soul... This is a creative process. We try, add or remove some elements and see what happens. By the way, rhythm is needed not only by schoolchildren; it is needed even more by young children and also makes it very easy for mom to plan the day. There is no need to plan and think through everything “from scratch” every day. We simply fill the already existing “skeleton of the day” with some specific tasks - “meat”.

Agreement. You need to agree with your child that from this day on you become a schoolchild and will have to study. It won’t work to just suddenly say that today you need to learn how to solve such examples, because “it’s time” or “soon they will have to be answered for certification.”

In the clearest and most understandable phrases, we told our son that in our country it is IMPOSSIBLE not to study according to the law. From the age of 7, a child is obliged to study either at school, or at home, or somewhere else. They explained why the state decided this and how this law was justified. I think it's important not to indulge in the philosophy here that “If you don’t study, you can become a janitor” or “about the importance of learning in life and in general”. This important topics, but now we are talking specifically about “formal education,” which is mandatory in our country.

If you go to school, the rules and responsibilities will be different.

We described as honestly as possible the daily routine when studying at the nearest school, his responsibilities and affairs. And they also honestly talked about what awaits him if he studies at home. In our case, the child had no problems with choice. He was 100% ready to homeschool. Although we always keep in mind the possibility of going to school - regular or alternative.

If the child doubts, then the parents decide for themselves what FORM of education to start with: you can go to school, try, then study at home and compare. On the contrary, you can stay at home and if it doesn’t work, go to school. Homeschooling is not a life-changing decision. We try, analyze, decide what to do next.

The benefits of such an agreement are enormous. It gives the child the opportunity to:

feel that studying is “not evil” the will of the parent and he also participated in the decision making

understand why the younger brother can play, and he ... can too, but then you will have to sit with the textbook after lunch or the next day

to feel that his parents are on the same page with him

take responsibility for your own learning. Of course not 100%, but first a little, and then more and more. This is exactly the question of how to study in high school.

And, by the way, ideally the contract should have a validity period. For example, 1 academic year, we learn like this with you, and then we decide how we will continue.

Internal resource and motivation. This is a wonderful tool that sometimes makes it possible to master entire sections of the school curriculum without any stress at all. I don’t understand how this happens, some kind of “tunneling effect.” (In physics, this is the overcoming of a potential barrier by a microparticle. The electron was here, and “suddenly” is behind the “barrier”)

Here, of course, sensitivity is important, the ability to see the child’s zone of proximal development and the ability to be in tune with these interests, to create such a nutritious environment (most often the environment for a child is one or another form of play =)) that the child himself “rushes” like on a tank .

Example. The three of us played Carcassonne several times: me, dad, Gleb. Then suddenly I notice cards on the floor in the nursery, drawn by one of the children, very similar to Carcassonne cards, but with rails!

"ABOUT! Gleb, what a fresh idea! Let’s make Carcassonne with rails or an addition to the main Carcassonne!”

Gleb: “Yes, that’s what I wanted to do! But I don’t understand how to draw the cards evenly...”

I show you how to draw squares, measure, and use a square. That's all! The child enjoys making squares, measuring, estimating, and inventing. In one day he completely masters how to use a ruler, a square, what a right angle is and other intricacies of geometry

And I have a wagon and a cart of such examples... When children create their own blogs, do quests for adults themselves, or shoot video reports =)

In general, in family education you often have to search, invent, try and discard, but the satisfaction from the process is much higher for both the child and the parent.

Sincerely, Nesyutina Ksenia

Join the conversation and leave a comment.