Who is the godfather of the child's father: names, family ties, common misconceptions. Godfather

Archpriest Mikhail Vorobyov, rector of the church in honor of the Exaltation of the Precious and Life-Giving Cross of the Lord in the city of Volsk, answers questions about godparents

Is it possible to refuse to participate in Baptism? They say that if you refuse to be a godfather, then you refuse the cross.

Of course, it is not worth giving up the cross that the Lord gives to every person to strengthen his spiritual strength. Yes, this is impossible, because, refusing one cross, a person immediately receives a new one, which most often turns out to be heavier than the previous one. However, responsibilities godparents can hardly be considered a moral test from which it would be a sin to refuse.

The very name “godparents” (in the rite of the sacrament of Baptism they are called more neutrally - godparents) shows that their responsibilities are very serious. They consist in caring for the correct spiritual development of the godson, in his upbringing in accordance with moral principles Orthodox faith. Godparents guarantee before God that their godson or daughter will grow up to be a decent, worthy, believing person, that he or she will feel the need to live a full church life. In addition, godparents are obliged to help their godchildren with ordinary everyday needs, to provide them not only spiritual, but also material assistance.

If some circumstances do not allow you to confidently accept such responsibility, if there is no sincere love in your heart for the intended godson, it is better to refuse the honorary offer to become a godfather.

Two years ago, my relatives asked me to become a godmother. Now they demand gifts from me, tell me where and what I need to buy, without asking what my current financial situation is, what I can or cannot buy. What should I do?

Perhaps we should remind our godfathers of the Russian proverb: “Stretch your legs according to your clothes.” By becoming a godmother, you, first of all, accepted the responsibility to raise your godson in the spirit of Christian values. These, by the way, include moderation in meeting material needs. Try to conscientiously fulfill this basic duty: teach your child to pray, read the Gospel with him, explaining its meaning, attend divine services. Gifts, especially those that bring spiritual benefit and delight the child, are, of course, also a good thing. But you did not undertake any obligation to fully replace your natural parents. In addition, another proverb is true: “There is no judgment.”

Can my sister, whose son I baptized, become the godmother of my child?

Maybe. There are no canonical obstacles to this.

My husband and I are not married. But we became godparents of our relative, who was baptized as an adult. I didn’t immediately get into the ritual, but then I found out that it wasn’t possible. And now our marriage is falling apart. What to do?!

The circumstance you are talking about can under no circumstances be grounds for divorce. On the contrary, try to save your marriage. If this fails, together with ex-husband continue to diligently fulfill your duties as godparents.

What should the child’s parents do if his godfather has forgotten about his godson and does not fulfill his duties? How to proceed?

If the godfather is a relative or close friend of the family, it is worth reminding him of the responsibility that he bears before God for the correct Christian upbringing of his godson. If the godfather turned out to be random, and even not a church person at all, you should only blame yourself for a frivolous attitude towards the choice of a successor.

In this case, the parents themselves must diligently do what the godfather is obliged to do: raise the child in the spirit of Christian piety, accustom him to participate in divine services, introduce him to cultural wealth Orthodox Church.

Can I adopt my godson's child?

You can; There are no canonical obstacles to the adoption of a godson.

We decided to take relatives as our son’s godparents: our baby’s uncle and cousin, between them they are father and daughter. Please clarify, is this allowed? Let me explain that the choice was made consciously, and these are the people, in my opinion, who can be spiritual mentors for our child.

Your choice is quite acceptable if the intended godmother is not a minor child. After all, adoptees take on adult responsibility; they are obliged to raise their godson in the spirit of Christian values, which means they themselves must know what these values ​​are, love the Church, worship, and live a church life.

Is it possible, being already the godfather of the eldest child in the family, to also become the godfather of the youngest?

If Godfather responsibly and conscientiously fulfills his duties towards his godson, then he may well become a godfather for his younger brother (Bulgakov S.V. A clergyman's handbook. M., 1913. P. 994).

Please tell me whether siblings can be godparents. And one more thing: can a 12-year-old girl be a godmother?

Siblings can be godparents of the same child. A twelve-year-old girl can also become a godmother only if she was raised in Orthodox tradition, has a strong faith, knows the doctrine of the Church and understands the godfather’s responsibility for the fate of his godson.

Are there dogmatic or canonical obstacles to nepotism between spouses; in other words, can my wife and I become godparents to our friends’ child? Can godfathers and godfathers who were not married at the time of Baptism subsequently become husband and wife? I heard that there is no consensus in the Church on this matter.

Article 211 of the Nomocanon prohibits a husband and wife from being children of the same child. However, some decrees of the highest ecclesiastical authority of the Russian Orthodox Church (see about this: Bulgakov S.V. A clergyman's handbook. M., 1913. P. 994) cancel the specified requirement of Nomocanon. In the current situation, in my opinion, we should adhere to more ancient tradition, especially since in the Russian Orthodox Church it for a long time was considered the only correct one. In the case where the child’s parents absolutely desire to have their spouses as their adoptive parents, they should submit a corresponding petition to the Ruling Bishop of the diocese in which the sacrament of Baptism is supposed to be performed.

Recipients of the same child who were not married at the time of Baptism are not considered to be spiritually related. Therefore, in the future they can enter into legal marriage without any obstacles ( Bulgakov S.V. Handbook of a clergyman. M., 1913. P. 1184).

In fairness, it should be noted that there is an opposite opinion on this matter, which was held, for example, by St. Philaret of Moscow. If a priest refuses to marry the children of the same child, one should also contact the Ruling Bishop of the diocese where the wedding is expected to take place.

Can the godfather have other godchildren?

It is allowed to have any number of godchildren. However, when inviting a godfather for your child, you should think about whether he will be able to fulfill his duties with dignity, whether he has enough love, mental strength and material resources for the correct Christian education of his godson.

My cousin had a son with a congenital heart defect 10 years ago. The doctors said that the situation was bad, and the sister decided to baptize him right in the hospital. She was lying in a special box, where no one except doctors was allowed. Only the priest was allowed in to baptize the child. I was only told later that I was registered as a godfather. Later, in Moscow, the child underwent surgery, he got back on his feet, thank God. And in January, my friend’s son was born, and he invited me to become godfather. Can I be a godfather?

I repeat, it is allowed to have any number of godchildren. However, it should be remembered that the responsibilities of godparents are very serious. Baptism is a church sacrament in which Divine grace itself acts. Therefore, you were not just “registered” as a godparent, perhaps without your knowledge, but you were given responsibility for the correct Christian upbringing of your godson. Having several godchildren is quite difficult. But, if you feel love for these children, the Lord will give you spiritual strength and the opportunity to become a worthy godfather for them.

Newspaper “Orthodox Faith” No. 7 (459), 2012

The theme of “godparents and godsons,” of course, is not comparable with the eternal theme of “fathers and sons,” but nevertheless, it is also very relevant in our time. After all, the traditions of succession were interrupted. And it often turns out that people who are far from the Church, but still want to baptize a child, choose a godfather for him for purely everyday reasons. And in the families of churchgoers, sometimes stumbling blocks arise in the relationship between godparents and godchildren. We want to talk about some of these problems.

Background
The role of godparents among the first Christians cannot be understood without knowing the conditions in which they lived.
Communities of the first Christians gathered in their homes. Sometimes houses were even specially rebuilt - demolished internal partitions, they held a baptism. The photo shows such a rebuilt house from the 3rd century. Baptistery in the Meeting House. Dura-Europos (Syria).

According to the imperial edicts, Christianity was outlawed as a harmful sect. Introducing someone to a creed that denied the divinity of the ruling Augustus and prohibited making obligatory sacrifices to the gods and images of the emperor was considered a crime against the state and was prosecuted under the law of insulting the majesty of the emperor.
For Roman Christians, it was important to provide such instruction and education to the newly baptized that would help them become true members of the Church. The situation was especially complicated by the fact that, unlike later times, the bulk of those baptized were not infants, but adults who came to baptism consciously. This forced Christians to maintain a long period of clarification for them to assimilate the essence of the doctrine and help them, keeping them from doubts and deviations.
Household slaves lived in the houses of wealthy Romans - servants, educators, and wet nurses for children. In fact, they were the younger members of the family, involved in all its affairs. Christianity gradually spread among them, and for a person attached to children, it was natural to try to save the child for future life. This provided the basis for secretly teaching children the basics Christian faith and their baptisms by people not related to them by blood. These people became their successors, godparents.
During the baptism of an adult, the recipient was a witness and guarantor for the seriousness of the intention and for the right faith of the person being baptized. At the baptism of infants and the sick, speechless, the recipients made vows and recited the Creed. The 54th rule of the Council of Carthage provided: “Sick people who cannot answer for themselves will be baptized when, by their will, others testify about them, under their own responsibility.”
In development of the 83rd and 72nd rules of the Council of Carthage, the Council of Trullo, in the 84th rule, established that found children, about whose baptism there is no reliable information, also had to be baptized. In this case, the recipients actually became the children's mentors.
Initially, only one recipient participated in baptism: when baptizing a woman, a woman, and a man, a man. Subsequently, the analogy with physical birth was extended to baptism: both the godfather and the godmother began to participate in it.
Church rules (and, in full agreement with them, the civil laws of the Empire that adopted Christianity) did not allow the physical parents of the person being baptized (people already close to him), minors (people who, due to their age, are not capable of providing spiritual guidance) and monks (people renounced from the world).
In Russia in the 18th-19th centuries, children in villages were baptized in infancy a few days, or less often weeks, from birth. The latter was not associated with any special customs, but, for example, with the remoteness of the village from the temple.
As a rule (exceptions were extremely rare), recipients participated in the baptism of children. They tried to choose them among people they knew well, more often relatives.
Among Slavic peoples, including among Russians, the custom of having both a godfather and a godmother spread very quickly. They had to be of legal age and capable of performing their duties responsibly. In 1836, the Synod established the lower age limit for godparents - 14 years. When performing the sacrament itself, the duties of the godfather included paying all material expenses for its implementation and the subsequent celebration, as well as taking care of the cross for the baby. The godmother was required to present the baby with a robe - a cloth in which he was wrapped after taking him out of the font, a blanket and a baptismal shirt.
Often they tried to find godparents among blood relatives who could take responsibility for raising children in the event of the death of their parents. This practice was not condemned: it was believed that family relationships only strengthened.

Yaroslav ZVEREV

Wedding General or Fairy Godmother?

A godfather or, in other words, a godfather is a person who takes upon himself the responsibility for the church upbringing of a child. He makes vows to Christ for his godson, renounces Satan, reads the Creed during the Sacrament of Baptism. After the baby is immersed in the font three times, the priest passes him into the arms of his godfather, who receives him from the font - hence the “receiver.”
But the Sacrament of Baptism was completed, it was celebrated, life moved on, and after a while the parents of the baptized baby have complaints: “the godfather forgets us” - he communicates little with the child, rarely calls, to the point of disappearing from life altogether godson. What’s upsetting is not even the fact that the godfather rarely appears (this, of course, is unpleasant, but understandable, given how busy everyone is today). It's a shame to have a formal attitude towards the recipient. For example, one girl said that they invited an authoritative church-going person to be her godfather, but throughout her life he never tried to establish contact with her. Once, long ago, in childhood, he gave her a bouquet of flowers - this is her only memory of him. Of course, the godfather prayed for her - this is the duty of the godparent under any circumstances - but this was clearly not enough for the child.
Speaking about the duties of a godfather, it is difficult to list: they say, he must do this and that. Everything - except prayer - depends on the situation. Often godparents see their help only in “transporting” the child to the temple and back. But if the godson’s parents need help, and the godfather has free time, then going for a walk with your child or staying at home with him is a duty of love. Many "prudent" (in in a good way this word) parents, thinking about who to ask to become a godfather, choose precisely such godparents on whom they can rely.
In addition, godparents need to remember how important it is for any children - from church and non-church families - to feel a sense of celebration and friendly communication. For example, one young woman recalled that as a child, her godmother always took her to the Shokoladnitsa cafe or the Anchor fish restaurant after communion. A visit to the temple turned into friendly communication at the festive table, the whole experience left an impression in my memory fairy tale. Of course, communication was not limited to this. The godmother took her to monasteries and read good books, for example, Nikiforova-Volgina (and she read it out loud herself, and did not give the “correct” book for show), and made memorable gifts. You could always call your godmother before a difficult exam asking for prayer help - and be sure that she would pray for you.

Unchurched family: insist or give up?
Godparents, when talking about difficulties in relationships with godchildren, most often mention situations related to the fact that the godson’s parents are not churchgoers. For example, at first they promised not to interfere with the child’s churching, they even showed interest in the Church, but soon after baptism they forgot about all the promises. In words, it seems that the possibility of communication remains, but in reality... In the summer you need to go to the dacha, in the winter there is a flu epidemic. The rest of the time, I have a runny nose, or need to visit my grandmother, or go to the market to buy overalls, and in general, Sunday is the only day off when you can get enough sleep. And if you manage to go to church with your godson at least twice a year, that’s good.
In general, before agreeing to become godfather of the child from an unchurched family, consultation with a confessor is required. But what to do if the child has already been baptized, and the parents, despite their promises, remain indifferent to the Church?
Godparents familiar with this situation advise not to take the child to a temple located far from the godson’s home. It is better to go to the nearest church, having previously found out when the service begins and what time is most convenient to give the child communion. If there are several temples near your house, then it is better to find out where it is less crowded, where the atmosphere is calmer and more welcoming.
Should a godfather, who is not allowed to fulfill his direct duties, insist on his rights? It can be assumed that aggressive preaching is likely to cause rejection. Does this mean we should give up? In answer to this question good story said Archpriest Theodore BORODIN, rector of the Church of the Holy Unmercenaries and Wonderworkers Cosmas and Damian on Maroseyka: “My sister and I met my future godmother, seemingly by accident. Some woman was moving into our house, and my father was asked to move her furniture. Her father saw her icons. Therefore, when later there was talk of baptizing their children, the parents turned to her - to Vera Alekseevna. This unexpected meeting changed our entire subsequent lives. Everyone thought that we would be baptized - that’s all, but Vera Alekseevna began to enlighten us and, apparently, prayed very hard for us. She took us to the temple. It was very difficult for me. All my childhood memories from the church are only back pain and sandwiches that she gave us when we, tired and hungry, left the church after communion.
It happens that some godparents pray, worry about the child, but are afraid of being intrusive.
But she insisted, said: “You promised me,” warned: “In two weeks I will take Anya and Fedya to the temple, please, don’t let them eat in the morning.” She asked: “Anya and Fedya, have you read your prayers?” I remember she gave us a prayer book and marked three prayers that should be read. Two weeks later she came to us: “Well, Fedya, did you read your prayers?” I say yes". She took the prayer book and said: “If you were reading it, then the first paper cover would be crushed like this, this is not the case, which means you rarely opened it. It’s not good to deceive your godmother.” I felt ashamed, and from then on I began to say prayers.
We were also drawn into the circle of Christian education that took place at the godmother’s house. She had several dozen godchildren. She tried to reach their hearts through evenings of reading, Christian rethinking of poetry, music, and literature. Thanks to this, we discovered faith in a completely new way. We learned that Orthodoxy is not old women in church, that the heritage of all Russian culture is essentially Orthodox. She managed to truly church very a large number of of people. Among her godchildren are three priests, many people living a full church life. Despite the fact that most of us were from families absolutely far from the Church.”
If it turns out that relations with the non-church parents of your godson have reached a dead end and your life paths separated, and the child is still too young to communicate independently, then you should not turn into a “wedding general”. It would be more honest to simply pray heartily for this child.

Teenager
Many priests and teachers warn that during adolescence, a child will almost inevitably rebel against parental authority and seek support outside the family. “This is age feature for teenagers - they definitely need someone outside the family, an authoritative adult who they can rely on. And a godfather can become such an authority,” says Elena Vladimirovna VOSPENNIKOVA, a Sunday school teacher at the Church of St. Nicholas in Kuznetsy. — How to prepare yourself for this? Firstly, the godfather must take part in the child’s life from childhood, in any issues not only related to the Church. Communication with your godfather should be varied - this includes help with homework, going to the theater together, and discussing what is interesting to both you and the child. Secondly, the godfather must be an authority for the child. And this is only possible when the child sees that you are doing it sincerely, not out of duty.”
But it is important not only to save a good relationship. The main thing is to help the teenager not lose faith. How to do it? Only by personal example. Elena Vasilyevna KRYLOVA, teacher at the St. Demetrius School of Sisters of Charity: “If a child sees that it is impossible for the godfather to stay at home on Sunday instead of going to the Liturgy, that the life of the godfather does not exist without the church, only then the words of the godfather can be heard. If a child feels, through participation in church sacraments, through communication with his godfather, that there is another life, then even if he falls away in the ordeals of adolescence, he will then return to the Church. And you can attract a teenager to the temple through common affairs. Now in the youth world outside the Church, everything is limited to parties, discos, but teenagers need real things to do.”
There are a lot of such things in the Church: trips to orphanages, helping people, missionary trips, restoration of ancient churches with young people from “Restavros” in the most picturesque places and much more!



Baptism in an orphanage
IN ancient Church infants were not baptized without guardians, since Christian upbringing could not be guaranteed in pagan families. And now it is impossible to baptize a child without an adult recipient. But what about children in orphanages and orphanages? After all, the situation here is completely special. It is very difficult for the baby’s godparents (if they can be found) to trace the further fate of their godson
Is this a reason to refuse to baptize abandoned babies altogether? Svetlana POKROVSKAYA, manager Board of Trustees holy Alexia: “Once a month we go to a children’s hospital where newborn abandoned children with severe heart defects are kept. Children are usually nameless. The priest names them and baptizes them. Subsequently, we cannot trace the fate of these children; the hospital administration does not provide such information. Many of them die before reaching three or four months. And we cannot guarantee a Christian upbringing for the surviving children. Therefore, our activities cause contradictory attitudes. It happened that I applied to a priest with a request for baptism, but he refused to baptize without godparents, and such godparents who would bear their responsibilities in full until adoption. But many other priests believe that it is impossible to deprive babies of grace just because there are no recipients. After all, a godfather can pray for a child, write his name in notes, so that a particle can be taken out at the altar for a sick, suffering child, and this is very important. Therefore, we ask those who agree to be godparents to first of all pray for the children.”
The situation when an orphanage child is baptized at a conscious age is significantly different from the previous one. Here the godfather must understand that children become very attached to adults who show attention to them, and therefore it will be impossible to leave the child once he has started communicating with him. Many are afraid of such responsibility, they are afraid that the child will want to be taken into the family. Marina NEFEDOVA (she, along with other parishioners of the Church of the Annunciation in Fedosino, helps the nearest orphanage baptize children), based on his experience, says: “Children over seven years old understand that their godfather takes them to church, visits them, but does not become an adoptive parent. It seems to me that it would be very good if the orphanage children had godparents who would communicate with them for many years.”
It happens that people are asked to become godparents too often. But there are reasonable human limits. According to many confessors, you should soberly assess your capabilities and try to be constant in those relationships that already exist. After all, they will ask us what we did and how we took care of those we received from the font.

Veronica BUZYNKINA

A young couple gathered to baptize their baby. And then there’s a sea of ​​questions: who should we take as godparents? How to baptize? Where to contact? What is needed for that? The questions were sorted out, the child was christened. And now there’s a new dilemma: who is the godfather of the child’s father? And the godmother is the baby's mother? They became relatives, and that’s understandable. Just what are these relatives called? Now we'll find out everything.

How godparents are chosen

I would like to apologize to the readers for the above story. He could be called funny if he weren't so sad. The story was published in the book of priest Yaroslav Shipov. And it is truthful.

A man comes to church. From among the villagers. He needs to talk to his father. They called the priest from the altar, and the visitor right off the bat. And he has a wild question: is it possible to baptize his son again? The priest, of course, did not allow it. They are baptized once and for life. But I couldn’t resist asking: what is the reason for this decision? To which I received the answer: you can’t drink with your current godparents. The godmother drank herself to death, and the godfather quit.

We in no way want to say that our dear readers baptize children just for the sake of such gatherings. This is completely absurd. But let's think about how we choose godparents for our children. What are we guided by?

1. Firstly, we trust those people who should become godparents.
2. Secondly, we know: if something happens to us, the godparents will not leave the baby, they will take care of him.
3. And thirdly, many godparents help godchildren financially. They buy expensive gifts, go out and entertain them. In general, they relieve parents of part of the costs.

Well, they are good people, of course, the chosen godparents.

That's all true. Just absolutely not the right approach. And before we figure out who the godfather is to the child’s parents, let’s find out how to choose godparents.

What should we be guided by?

The godfather is the child's successor before God. And his task includes responsibility for the spiritual education of his godson.

Spiritual education does not mean helping parents financially and physically. No, no one cancels or prohibits this. But the main task is to accustom the godson to the faith, to raise him in the bosom of the church. In other words, the godfather is responsible for the spiritual life of his successor. And it is he who must instill in his godson the love of God.

Therefore, when we choose godparents, we must pay attention to the fact that they are believers. Not just baptized, but familiar with church life from the inside. Otherwise, what can godparents who don’t know a single prayer teach a child? And, by the way, they have a very big responsibility. They will answer before God for their godchildren.

Responsibilities of godparents to the parents of the godson

Who is the godfather of the child's father? A real godfather. It is believed that from the moment the baby is baptized, godparents and blood parents become related. Even if they are not related by blood.

This is not entirely true. The godfather has no responsibilities to the parents, other than raising the godson in the faith. By by and large helping them support the child is not within his competence. Responsible for it spiritual development- another matter. And feeding, drinking, clothing is the task of parents. Godparents and blood parents do not become relatives. Spiritual kinship arises only between the recipient and his ward.

Misconceptions about godparents

Who is the godmother to the child's father? Kumoi. What do you need to know about misconceptions related in one way or another to godfathers?

1. An unmarried girl cannot have a girl baptized. Supposedly she gives her her happiness. This is all nonsense. Of course, when a godfather has a husband and children, she is more experienced in everyday life. And he knows how to raise children. But she may be completely unskilled in faith. Equally as unmarried girl can be a believer and instill in her goddaughter the love of God.
2. The same nonsense with an unmarried guy. He can’t baptize the boy, he’s giving up his fate. Don't believe it. This is bullshit.
3. Pregnant women are prohibited from becoming godparents. Or baby dead will be born, or the godson will die. It would be difficult to think of anything more stupid. The only point is that it will be difficult for a woman preparing to become a mother to devote time to the spiritual education of her godson. Only because of this is it more appropriate to refuse the title of godmother.
4. If a child cries during baptism, God does not accept him. Where this nonsense came from is unknown. But you can still encounter this savagery. The aunties and grandmothers who are at the christening begin to gasp and wail. Like, our little baby is crying a lot. It's not the baby who's bad, it's the aunties and grandmothers who have problems. The child is simply scared, hot, and his mother is not around. So he cries.
5. If you don’t enter into an intimate relationship with your godfather, your life is over. Yes, there is an opinion that godparents are simply obliged to sleep with each other. It is unacceptable. Godparents do not have the right to enter into an intimate relationship with each other, the godson’s parents, or the godson himself. This is a great sin, for which one is excommunicated from the church.

How to prepare for christening?

Who is the daughter's godfather to her blood father? We found this out - godfather. Now let's talk about how godmothers prepare for christenings.

The following responsibilities fall on the shoulders of godparents:

• purchase of a cross, baptismal shirt;
• payment for christening;
• expenses for candles and other paraphernalia.

Parents are responsible for festive table. Should I give gifts for godparents? And should godparents give gifts to their ward and his parents? This is at the discretion of each of them. Do you have the opportunity and desire? Why not give a gift.

Before christening, future recipients undergo a course of mandatory lectures. Now this condition has been introduced in almost all churches. You will have to listen to at least three lectures.

How to negotiate a christening

Godfather is the one who is the father of the godson to the godfather. And he negotiates with the priest about the baby’s christening.

How to do it? Come to church, preferably on Sunday. You defend the service. No time? Then come to the end of the service. Ask to call the priest for the candle box. And you say that you want to become a godfather, you need to baptize the child.

The priest will tell you everything else: when to come to public conversations, how to behave at baptism, what prayers to learn before baptism.

It is important

We found out who the godfather is to the child's father and mother. What should I do with my godmother? Imagine the situation: you have attended a course of lectures, and a christening day has been set. Father is waiting, the guests have gathered. And the future godmother critical days came.

At this time, a woman must not enter the temple or begin any sacraments. This includes baptism. Therefore, to avoid embarrassment, look at the women's calendar in advance. And ask to schedule a christening after a week of illness has passed. According to church rules, a woman is considered unclean for a week.

And one more thing: come to the christening in a skirt or dress. There must be a scarf on the head. Godfathers come in trousers. Frivolous outfits, such as shorts, are prohibited. Shoulders and arms must be covered, so wrestling jerseys are abolished.

Conclusion

So we talked about who the godfather is to the father of the child. Remember: godparents and blood parents are godfathers. The godfather is the godfather. The godmother is, accordingly, godfather.

The material examined the main misconceptions associated with godparents. It also tells how to prepare for christening, what the actions of godparents are and what obligations they have to the parents of their receiver.

You have been invited to be godparents. This is a great honor and a great responsibility. What are the responsibilities of the godfather and godmother, what should be done during and after baptism?

Baby baptism. Photo from the site https://dveri.bg/uap64

Main responsibilities of godparents

During the sacrament of baptism, the godparents have the responsibility to vouch for the faith of the baby and subsequently raise him in the Orthodox faith. The child himself does not know anything yet and cannot profess faith, so godparents bring baptismal vows for him. If your faith is not strong enough, you should think seriously before agreeing to take on the responsibilities of a godfather. After all, in the future you will have to answer to God not only for yourself, but also for your godson.

Godparents pray for their godson all their lives. While the child is small, they teach him the Orthodox faith, try to get him to visit church more often, take communion, explain the meaning of worship, talk about saints, icons, Orthodox holidays. When a child becomes a teenager, it is the godparents who must take special care of his moral condition. This explains the choice of godparents - a boy certainly needs a godfather, and a girl needs a godmother; the presence of a second godfather is not mandatory. With a godfather of the same sex, it is easier for a teenager to discuss some personal issues, problems that he may not dare to talk about with his parents.

What godparents must do before the sacrament of baptism

The future godparents, together with the baby's parents, agree on the place and time of baptism. Before the sacrament, you will need to undergo a public conversation, or “interview,” in the church where the baptism will take place. There may be several such conversations. They lay out the basics of the Orthodox faith, which every Christian needs to know.

Who exactly will buy the baptismal set, pectoral cross and an icon - there is no fundamental difference. If godparents want to give a gift to their godson, they can bear part of the costs themselves.

Some wealthy people order a measured icon - this is an icon painted to order, on a board that corresponds to the height of the baby at birth. It depicts a saint whose name is given to the child.

More often they buy an icon in church shop: for a boy - the Savior, for a girl - Mother of God. You can choose any icon based on your desires, tastes and means. But it should be borne in mind that this icon will be with the godson all his life. In the old days, it was customary to bless a grown child for marriage with this icon. Entering family life, the bride and groom each brought their own icon with them, and they formed the so-called “wedding pair” of icons. Based on this, it is better to buy not the smallest icon (on which you can barely see the image), but several larger size(usually choose approximately the size of the book) and in the salary. But, I repeat, there are no hard and fast rules here, and if you are very limited in funds, an expensive icon is not at all an end in itself.

When choosing a cross for a child, you should not buy the tiniest one. It seems very suitable for such a baby, but the baby will grow up, and a tiny cross, especially on a man, will look completely different. It is better to buy a medium-sized cross.

A baptismal set, as a rule, can be bought at a church shop at a temple. It includes a diaper with an embroidered cross, a shirt and a scarf for a girl.

The sacrament of baptism. Photo from the website of photographer Nadezhda Smirnova http://www.fotosmirnova.com/kreschenie

Responsibilities of godparents during baptism

Godparents must know by heart Symbol of faith, which contains all the main truths of Orthodoxy. It will need to be read during the sacrament of baptism:

I believe in one God the Father, Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, visible to all and invisible. And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the only begotten, who was born of the Father before all ages; Light from Light, true God from true God, born, uncreated, consubstantial with the Father, to Whom all things were. For our sake, man and our salvation came down from heaven and became incarnate from the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and became human. She was crucified for us under Pontius Pilate, and suffered and was buried. And he rose again on the third day according to the Scriptures. And ascended into heaven, and sits at the right hand of the Father. And again the coming one will be judged with glory by the living and the dead, His Kingdom will have no end. And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Life-Giving One, who proceeds from the Father, who with the Father and the Son is worshiped and glorified, who spoke the prophets. Into one Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. I confess one baptism for the remission of sins. I hope for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the next century. Amen.

During the sacrament, the godparents hold the baby in their arms (if the child is worried and crying, it is allowed to be held by the mother, there is no violation). The most important moment is when the godfather receives the godson from the font from the hands of the priest. Therefore, godparents are otherwise called godparents. The godfather must receive the boy from the font, and the godmother must accept the girl.

Hello, Vladimir!

The christening of a child is a very important event. And it doesn’t matter what age your goddaughter is. Along with this sacrament, you acquire responsibility for the baptized person and must instruct him in matters of faith. And of course, you need to know who your goddaughter’s parents are to you. Let's look at this difficult issue together.

Godfather - closer than your own

If you have become girls' godparents, This an important event. Now you are entrusted with the responsibilities of her spiritual education. After all, christening is, first of all, the internal rebirth of a person, the beginning of his turning to God. You know that for your goddaughter’s parents you are godfather, and that’s already good.
Spiritual kinship is much stronger than blood: it is an internal connection between you and your goddaughter. We usually feel an inner attachment to people. It is impossible to explain, but it occurs in the person being baptized and the godfather (godmother) immediately after this sacrament.

Therefore, speaking in church language, for your newly-made daughter you are not just a godfather: you are her dad. Previously, in Rus' there was a wonderful custom: children called their godparents “mom” and “dad”. If the blood parents died, the godfather had to take their child into his family. Many people have kept this tradition to this day.

But we digress a little. Now we know that your goddaughter is not just a goddaughter, but a real daughter. You can tell her that if she is already an adult. Your goddaughter will definitely like the fact that she has three, or even four parents (if she has a godmother).

If your goddaughter is still small, be sure to visit the nearest children's store and buy an interesting toy for her. The baby will definitely feel your good disposition and will rejoice at your arrival every time.

Who are the blood parents of the godfather?

The child’s parents do not choose their godfather spontaneously: it is usually close person. Therefore, know that for your goddaughter’s family you are not just a friend, or not just a relative. Often this is how people want to get closer.

Therefore, the answer to the question of who you are as the parents of your goddaughter can be divided into two points.

First of all, for them you are godfather. However, just like they are for you. However, this word contains more than an unimportant formality. Therefore, the second point indicates that after the christening of the child of your friends or relatives, you become their brother. Yes Yes! And this is a fact legitimized by the church. Just now, go to the nearest church and confirm these words with the priest.

And then feel free to go to your goddaughter’s parents and tell them about this new fact. Be sure to bring some cakes or other goodies with you, because such news should be accompanied by tea drinking. You and your goddaughter's parents became related - why isn't it an important event?
The christening of a little person is remembered throughout his life.

In the future, at a family event, over a cup of tea you will remember how you baptized your grown daughter. And it won’t matter who her parents are to you. The whole point will be focused on one thing - in this world you have a soul mate, for whom you are responsible before God.

Regards, Tatiana.