The concept of psychological dependence. Mental addiction: what is it?

Psychological dependence on a person makes you forget your own interests, lose independence, and become insecure. A dependent person has a hard time with separation and becomes depressed when there is a long-term absence of a person who dominates him. What are the causes of addiction and is it possible to get rid of it?

Causes of psychological dependence

Experts say that individuals who have been subjected to severe parental control since childhood and have not been able to develop self-confidence and the ability to withstand external influence are susceptible to emotional dependence on a person.

You can make a list of types of human addiction. It will include submission not only to parents, but also to superiors, a person with leadership qualities, and a loved one. By the way, psychologists have noticed that most often it is women who find themselves in this situation. In this case, the situation can develop according to several scenarios:


Many women are familiar with the role of a housewife. Unsettled life, the birth of children, the lack of a kindergarten and other problems force the wife to give up her career and devote herself entirely to her family. Some people believe that there is nothing terrible in this situation. But some ladies lose the ability to return to independent life and stay in the role of a housewife for a long time.

The children are growing up, but the mother is still busy with housework and can no longer imagine any other role for herself. This situation is typical for women who are accustomed to following traditions, believing that marriage should be the only one in life. Gradually, her personality completely dissolves in her husband. She does not imagine herself outside of his life, submits to his demands, forgives betrayals and insults.

She begins to fear the breakup of the relationship, since its consequences seem irreparable.

A woman who is accustomed to following her husband’s instructions in everything is unable to accept independent decision, change your life, establish new relationships.

Dreamers

There is a category of ladies who refuse to perceive reality. Such a person imagines herself in the role of a certain princess and, accordingly, waits for a prince to appear in her life. In this case, the candidate is rewarded with unimaginable advantages in advance. Having met the right man, the woman transfers all her dreams to him, sincerely believing that her chosen one is perfection.

As a result, the lady is ready to fulfill all the whims and caprices of her ideal, sacrificing her own interests. Most often, their existence becomes the service of a man, who often turns out to be a gigolo or an egoist, shamelessly taking advantage of a lady’s inability to overcome her psychological complex and look at her lover soberly.

Other halves of the leaders

The reason for dependence on a person can be confidence in his authority. Naturally, a man is traditionally considered a leader.

And if we add to this a good education, social status, confident behavior?


Many women, next to such a partner, begin to feel like a completely helpless girl, for whom absolutely everything is decided - from the choice of wallpaper color to the model of winter boots.

Over time, the feeling of helplessness grows, and the lady is no longer able to overcome her own uncertainty and helplessness.

By the way, this is one of those cases when a man can act as a dependent. IN modern society a woman with a well-developed career and well-established connections sometimes takes the position of leader in the family, while the husband is forced to depend on his wife psychologically and financially.

One of the most terrible types of addiction is the complete absorption of a person’s personality, the unbearability of the thought of existing outside of his space. This situation is characterized by suicidal tendencies. In the event of a breakup and death of one of the partners, it is easier for the other to say goodbye to life than to come to terms with the loss.

It is incredibly difficult to overcome dependence on a person, since the partner perceives this relationship as natural and sees no reason to change it. Usually, the help of a psychologist is required to realize how far the process has gone and to try to break out of the vicious circle.

How can a person overcome addiction on his own?

In fact, there is an opportunity to improve the situation. To do this, you don’t even have to part with your loved one.

As a rule, the psychology of dependence on a person rests on three “pillars”:


  • A feeling of hope for the stability of the situation and the strength of the relationship at moments when the partner deigns to bestow his soul mate with sweet little things and affectionate addresses. Periodic “warming” is illusory, but a woman is ready to believe her beloved, despite the subconscious feeling of the short duration of “happiness”;
  • Another illusion is the belief that you can influence your man at any moment and force him to show respect. In fact, men who are accustomed to the submission of a lady can give a million vows, knowing full well that his other half will not go anywhere, since he is completely dependent on him. To change a personality, one needs motivation, which a man does not need;
  • Very often, emotional dependence is supported by the advantages that this union gives a woman: the opportunity to feel loved, material well-being, status. Therefore, a woman views her partner as a savior who reliably protects her from all life’s troubles.

In all such situations, there can only be one solution - simply understand that the world is not limited to the family and this man. Having realized that she has independently limited herself in communication, work, and interests, a woman is able to realize that she is no less beautiful as a person, and she has no less rights and opportunities for self-sufficiency.

Of course, such problems cannot be solved in one day. Required long time so that the dependent person learns to love himself.

The modern world provides people with many temptations. Television has become interactive, the Internet has become high-speed, food has become fast, shopping has become available in installments. And in this cycle of influence, a person’s adaptive capabilities play a cruel joke on him. There is an addiction to certain types of activities and behavior, and then dependence on them.

The concept of “dependence” in psychology

The term “addictive behavior” first appeared in relation to alcoholism and drug addiction, and therefore was studied in narcology. Only since the 80s. XX century they started talking about Internet addiction, shopaholism, running addiction, and began to consider this concept with psychological point vision. Let's figure out what this term represents.

Dependence (addiction) is internal state a person, manifested in an obsessive desire to perform certain actions that lead to illness and destroy the individual’s personality.

This behavior is destructive because it prevents personal growth, disrupts connections and relationships between people. A dependent person becomes unfree and also unable to manage his own life. He is not responsible for himself and his actions.

Dependency classification

Traditionally, all types of addictions are divided into three large groups, in which smaller subgroups are distinguished:

  1. Chemical:
    • alcoholism;
    • addiction;
    • smoking (tobacco smoking, addiction to hookah).
  2. Biochemical (food):
    • anorexia (refusal to eat, increased thinness);
    • bulimia (uncontrollable gluttony, “ravenous hunger”).
  3. Non-chemical:
    • sports addiction;
    • dependency relationship.

Types of addictions differ according to the object that provokes them. Thus, chemical addictions are caused by a certain substance - alcohol, nicotine, etc. Biochemical – related to food. Non-chemical ones are caused by any actions with living and non-living objects.

Causes of dependencies

Psychologists associate the emergence of addiction with the discrepancy between the requirements for an individual to keep up and lead in all industries and his inability to join this frantic rhythm modern life. A person who does not know how to relieve tension through volitional efforts, autogenic training, yoga, resorts to more understandable and easy ways. Some start drinking, others sit down at the computer to shoot zombies, women are more likely to eat away their problems or spend money.

Were allocated psychological characteristics personalities influencing the manifestation of addictive behavior. These characteristics include the following:

  • Inadequate self-esteem – often low.
  • Egocentrism is fixation on oneself and one’s desires.
  • Inability to plan the future and manage time wisely.
  • High suggestibility – immediate response to an invitation, advertisement, imitation of the majority.
  • Denial of your feelings - because of the past psychological trauma They drive away emotions, do not analyze them, do not process them.
  • Maximalism - they go to extremes: either everything is great, or everything is very bad.
  • High anxiety - people worry about anything, worry about the future.
  • Low stress tolerance – inability to cope with stress.

It should be remembered that when chemical and biochemical dependencies occur, heredity plays a large role, so it is advisable for people to know the history of their family well.

Symptoms of addiction

Each type of addiction has its own specific manifestations, but there are also general diagnostic indicators that a person is dependent.

First of all, the behavior becomes compulsive, that is, certain behavioral acts are systematically repeated. If a person is deprived of the opportunity for such activities, he will develop an obsessive syndrome - withdrawal (for drug addicts - physical, for gambling addicts - psychological). A person makes systematic attempts to get rid of addiction on his own, but again falls into it. Returning to the subject of addiction after a break is euphoric in nature, the person loses orientation in time.

Defensive reactions to criticism from others are activated, the individual becomes aggressive when they try to limit his hobby. He himself often denies addiction, proving to others that he can stop when he wants to.

Methods of treating and overcoming addictions

All types of chemical and biochemical dependence must be treated, and inpatiently. Patients must be under constant supervision of medical personnel, follow the regimen, and take the necessary medications.

For alcoholics and drug addicts, first of all, the blood is cleansed of harmful substances, give antidepressants. Patients with anorexia are given intravenously nutrients, and then they teach them to eat on their own, since their body is often no longer accustomed to eating food. With bulimia, they monitor the diet and do not allow additional food.

Non-chemical addictions can be overcome through group or individual work with a psychotherapist or psychologist. Techniques from various areas of psychotherapy are used: art, gestalt, NLP, psychosynthesis, body-oriented therapy. Much attention is paid to the ability to overcome stress, respond to feelings, forgive loved ones and oneself.

Dependencies of modern times

Currently everything more people They begin to get involved in non-chemical addictions, especially Internet addiction. The fact is that other types of non-chemical attractions also move into the virtual network. For example, there is Internet shopaholism (shopping in virtual stores), computer gambling addiction (online games and all kinds of casino sites), Internet workaholism (attachment to making money on binary options, viewing advertising links, writing articles), sexual computer addiction (deriving pleasure through online communication).

Mobile addiction and selfie addiction are gaining momentum. It is especially common among young people. Because of this, the modern generation is beginning to forget how to organize regular communication without emoticons and hashtags.

The problem of addiction is quite broad, as it includes many types. But they are all united by the fact that they negatively affect a person’s personality, disrupt his communication connections, and replace a full life.

Today I want to talk about psychology of addiction, dear blog readers, sometimes it happens that a person lives “automatically,” mechanically performing certain actions because “that’s the way it should be.” The truth is, who needs it and who determined it, the person himself finds it difficult to explain. We get up when the alarm clock rings, wash, get dressed, have breakfast, rush to work - and we do all this mechanically, without thinking, i.e. unconsciously. These are all developed habits that make our lives easier to some extent. But harmless ones sometimes tend to develop into addictions.

Psychology of addiction

Dependencies, or hooks, are very different. We can depend on food, establishing a cult of it and consuming uncontrolled quantities, which leads to obesity. Or depend on a specific person, blindly “loving” him and spending days and nights in suffering, at a time when life is in full swing around and thousands of the same men or women flash by. IN Lately dependence on computer games, forcing a person to dissolve in the virtual world, in a world of illusions and unlimited possibilities. Many people depend on the red light of a lit cigarette, sweetly inhaling the poisonous smoke and enjoying it. Much more dangerous than addiction to alcohol and drugs, but this is a specific pathology that cannot be avoided without medical help.

Although the nature of the dependency in these examples is different, they have one general feature- an obsessive need for a certain type of activity, without which a person cannot imagine his existence. Most often this need is psychological. That is, certain chains of connections are created, the rupture of which seems to be a disaster to a person. His attention is concentrated at a certain point or range, completely turning off his horizons. Willpower is hidden under a thick layer of desires and satisfaction of needs.

Thus resigning himself to the state of things, a person indulges his whim, completely refusing to look around and see the other side.

All attempts by others to “wake up” the “sleeping” person turn out to be completely futile. It is impossible to force him to give up his imaginary comfort.

So how do you fight addiction?

How to overcome addiction?

A person must deal with his problems himself; no one can do this for him. First of all, he must want it. If he realizes his dependence on something, an insight occurs in his mind. And this is the first stage. By the way, very important. Insight leads to awareness, i.e. understanding the situation and then accepting it. There is no use in running away from yourself. You can run away from anything, but not from yourself. And facing the truth is painful, but, I repeat, very important.

And now, under no circumstances should you allow yourself to slide into accusations, not of anyone, and especially of yourself. And self-pity will do no good. For condemnation and pity are two sides of the same coin. It will be much more useful and effective to decide to change the situation. But not superficially, under the pressure of others, but in the depths of your soul. Sincerely and decisively.

Believing in yourself and your strengths is very important. It is unlikely that anyone was able to cope with the situation the first time; relapses usually occur. But you should not be afraid of them; it is better to perceive the return back as a temporary phenomenon and only a momentary weakness. Continue moving forward towards your goal again. And liberation from the slavery of addictions is a worthy goal. When a person is purposeful, everything works out for him. Be it winning in sports, changing your appearance or quitting smoking.

Every person depends on something or someone. You can claim that you are an absolutely free person who is not familiar with the concept of dependence. But in reality this is not so, because our existence directly depends on other factors: food, air, water. Physiological dependence is our everyday life. But psychological dependence is a problem that needs to be solved.

Psychological dependence is very multifaceted, especially since until now psychologists have not been able to come to a common opinion on how to describe it. Yes and There are many types of psychological addiction. Many are addicted to smoking or food, although they do not even suspect it. And others cannot live without some person. For others, the world is not nice without computers and the Internet. As you can see, there is a lot of room for psychological addiction, because a lot of people are susceptible to it.

But first, let's define what is psychological dependence. A description full of terms does not always provide an accurate concept for everyone. Therefore, psychological dependence can be described in this way: a constant return to certain conditions in which life seems easier, better and more colorful. For example, you have a psychological dependence on a person. It manifests itself in the fact that no matter what the reason, you always want to be close to this person, because you feel comfortable around him, all problems fade into the background. And you can’t even imagine life without him. Here you have your psychological dependence.

The psychology of addiction is very complex, but doctors know how it forms. A person experiences various troubles and tragedies in his life. And while some people endure them steadfastly, others cannot cope with their problems. These weak-willed people are most susceptible to various addictions. And it all starts with the fact that one day such people, in upset feelings, try to escape from reality. So they take drugs, cloud their thinking with alcohol, or turn their attention to food. In any case, coping with psychological dependence will be very difficult.

What causes people the most trouble is alcohol psychological dependence. Heavy drinkers look into the bottle not because they are drawn to the next dose of alcohol, but because they are in a world where they are easy and comfortable. It is almost impossible to cure such an addiction, because after many years not a single alcoholic will be able to imagine a life where there is not a drop of booze.

Many people try to replace their addiction with something else.. So, in an attempt to overcome the physiological dependence, say, on smoking, men eat candy or husk seeds. Yes, physiological dependence has been overcome, but psychological dependence on seeds or sweets is developing. All this speaks of an incorrect approach to the problem and pathetic attempts to cope with it on their own.

But it's not all bad. Many people realize that they psychological problem prevents them from living a normal, full life. So it's fair to ask: how to get rid of psychological addiction? Unfortunately, it is impossible to do this on your own. Only a psychologist can help cope with this problem.

Classes in a group of people with the same problem are considered the most effective.. Of course, you can treat each person individually, but such treatment, alas, will be of little use. After all, every person, having felt new strength in himself, quickly gets tired of classes and thinks that he can handle it himself. In the end, everything turns out exactly the opposite. Psychological dependence returns, and all efforts are wasted. In a group, the opinion of the majority is the authority, so no one wants to look worse in the eyes of other people.

Overcoming psychological addiction is a very long and difficult path. But at the end of it you will be able to say with confidence that you can begin new life, in which there is no place for such a concept as psychological dependence.

The problem of addictive behavior is one of the most acute and complex social problems modern Russia. What is addictive behavior? Dependent behavior is the desire to escape reality by changing one’s mental state through the use of psychoactive substances.

Currently, there are three platforms from the perspective of which scientists, doctors and other interested parties are trying to answer questions about the mechanisms of formation of addictive behavior: social, medical, psychological.
The social platform is based on the belief that in the formation dependencies Disharmonious social relations are to blame: between the state and the citizen, members of society, parents and children.

The medical platform is based on the belief that those responsible for the formation dependencies is the activity of the brain of a particular person, therefore, it is necessary to use different methods medical influences in order to cope with this problem.

The psychological platform sees the reason for the formation dependent behavior in the uniqueness of a person’s personal characteristics.

There is no doubt that any behavior characterized by signs dependencies, has not external, but internal origin. The individual becomes dependent from something or someone not due to pressure or coercion from the outside, but due to the willingness to obey, to be guided and led through life. It must be admitted that external factors play a certain role in the formation dependent behavior, but they are conditions, not reasons for the formation dependencies.

Let's highlight some psychological features dependent personality.

1. Increased level of suggestibility.

The ease of a person’s assimilation of external motivations, aspirations, desires, attitudes, forms and styles of behavior, increased susceptibility to mental influence from another person without a critical understanding of reality and the desire to resist the influence. Much of what happens is taken for granted, is not deeply analyzed, and is not subjected to careful reflection.

Dependent the individual turns out to be uncritical, often gullible, susceptible to group influence and authoritarian control.

Non-criticality also manifests itself in relation to the disease, i.e. the client denies the presence of problems and the disease.

In drug intoxication, there is no criticism of one’s behavior. The client does not adequately perceive words and actions, including those of other people. Therefore, if during a meeting the client is intoxicated, during the conversation it is advisable to maintain a calm tone of speech and conduct a conversation on neutral topics, since the authoritarian position of a specialist can cause inadequate reaction from the client's side.

Unfortunately, professionals and parents are rarely authorities on people with chemical dependency. Most often, distrust develops in other people, including specialists, and relationships with parents are manipulative.

Individuals with chemical dependency are more influenced by their reference group and will go to a meeting with “friends” rather than a specialist.

2. Inability to fully and adequately plan and predict your future.

Persons with chemical addiction rarely take their past actions into account to act in the present. To the question “What do you want?” More often you hear the answer “I don’t know.” Their means and ways to achieve the goal are the same. Actions when achieving a goal are most often inconsistent: they can say one thing and do something completely different.

Tools for correcting errors in the consequences of choosing an action are usually missing. Persons with chemical dependence rarely take responsibility for choosing an action in a situation and try to shift it (responsibility) to other people.

A dependent person has a monovariant forecast for the future: aimed at only one subjectively significant forecast of the development of events while completely ignoring all others.

For people with chemical dependence, the goals and interests of others rarely matter, incl. significant people.

3. Egocentrism.

Egocentrism permeates the entire structure of persons with chemical dependence as a “red thread”. A chemically dependent person is fixed on himself, on his interests, feelings, desires. He is indifferent to the interests, feelings, desires of other people. He's like Christmas tree”, around which everyone should revolve and admire.

4. Daydreaming.

Persons with chemical dependence have a highly developed ability to fantasize, to live in an imaginary dream world, in an imaginary environment, easily detaching themselves from reality. That is why a chemically dependent person quickly and easily gets used to the role of an honest and sincere person, often being a liar. He himself believes in his lies and often it is difficult for him to determine for himself where reality is and where his fantasy is.

5.Impatience and maximalism.

Impatience is a lack of endurance. A chemically dependent person wants to solve all his problems as quickly as possible, with minimal effort on his part. And sometimes he offers a radical solution to the problem, without taking into account reality.

By maximalism we mean extremes in any judgments, demands, or emotions. A chemically dependent person, as a rule, perceives the world in two colors - black and white. They are not inclined to compromise. For them there is “either everything or nothing.” Such manifestations permeate the dependent personality with alternativeness: to love - not to love, to desire - to reject, to rejoice - to grieve.

6. Alexithymia. (literally means: “without words for feelings” or in a close translation – “there are no words to name feelings”).

For persons with chemical dependence, it is difficult to define and describe (verbalize) their own emotions and the emotions of other people; difficulty distinguishing between emotions and bodily sensations. Chemically dependent people are focused primarily on external events, to the detriment of internal experiences. They tend to be specific logical thinking with a deficiency of emotional reactions. The listed features can lead to excessive pragmatism, the impossibility of a holistic view of one’s own life, a lack of creative attitude towards it, as well as difficulties and conflicts in interpersonal relationships.

7.Rigidity.

Rigidity is understood as inflexibility, stiffness of all mental activity and, in particular, attitudes, styles of behavior, and comprehension of reality. It is very difficult for people with chemical dependence to change their attitude towards something or someone, just as it is difficult to change their actions.

Persons with chemical dependence are characterized by naivety, simplicity, and spontaneity. They tend to be surprised, offended, and disappointed due to the lack of an accurate understanding of reality. They can be overly trusting. Such people often get into trouble due to their immediate, infantile outlook on life.

Recommendations for working with persons with chemical dependence.
When talking, it is important to avoid an authoritarian tone and behavior on the part of the specialist, as this may alienate the patient. The attitude “I am an expert and I know better” can cause mistrust and hostility on the part of the patient. This is especially important to consider if the patient is intoxicated, because his behavior is uncritical and unpredictable.
When talking with a patient, it is important to be patient and tactful. Listen carefully, and then take action. Your first reaction to what is happening may be incorrect.
Don't promise what you can't deliver. And if you promised something, follow through.
If you feel that you are wrong, admit it. Don’t be afraid to lose your authority, because what’s worse is that a chemically dependent person adopts your style of behavior, even if he’s wrong: “stand up for your opinion.”
Try not to talk too much. Speak calmly and firmly. Don't get involved in endless arguments. If an argument cannot be avoided, you can leave the room, thereby showing that the conversation is over.
More often, let the patient feel that you take his opinion into account, that his judgments also have authority.
During the conversation, ask clarifying questions: “What is the reason for the current situation?”, “On what basis did he decide that this is how the situation developed?”, “By what signs did he understand that this is exactly how it is and not otherwise?”, “ Perhaps you came up with something or it seemed to you?” etc. and so on.
During the conversation, pay more attention to the patient’s feelings: “What do you feel about yourself (mom, husband, brother, etc.).” It is important to convey to the patient that he has the right to feel different feelings: fear, anger, love, joy, and that people around him can also have and express their feelings. It is equally important to teach the patient to competently express their feelings, and art therapy helps to accomplish this task.

The use of art therapy and fairy tale therapy in practice helps to show the client structural models behavior and see new qualities in yourself. In response to the patient's story about conflict situation can I offer him new uniform behavior allegorically: “A friend of mine told a similar story, and he did it... and it gave results...”. Or “I watched a movie (read a book), similar story, take a look, I think you will be interested,” etc.

The basic need of persons with chemical dependence is to obtain joy, pleasure, and satisfaction. It is important for them to receive vivid sensations and impressions. This feature is important to consider when organizing events.