5.3. Manipulation as an alternative to creation The viability of any social system is determined by the conditions that it creates and provides for self-realization for the majority of the independent population. Along with this, in any society in one way or another

Manipulating Conflict Structural conflict is insoluble, and many therefore give up trying to get what they want. They find that they are able to "stir" only when pressure is exerted on them. And they resort to a strategy of "pumping up"

Manipulating Willpower Many people find that it can be hard for them to swing unless they deliberately "wind up" themselves. They refer to willpower, positive attitude, or inspiration as the "engine". Using willpower is another strategy aimed at

3. Manipulation of the Masses In the late 60s, Jane Elliott worked as a teacher primary grades in Riceville, Iowa. On April 4, 1968, the day Martin Luther King was assassinated, she gave a lesson in class on racism. The results of the discussion plunged Elliott into

Man is not born a manipulator. Masking true emotions is the first sign of being manipulative. The last thing the manipulator wants is for at least someone, even the person closest to him, to know about his deepest feelings.

Most often, the manipulator is not satisfied with himself and his world. The manipulator treats his affairs as boring duties that need to be got rid of as soon as possible. He does not know how to seize the moment and enjoy it or worry strong feelings... He believes that the time for fun and pleasure, for development and learning is childhood and adolescence. Upon reaching "maturity", he abandons life and in the full sense of the word vegetates, not even trying to comprehend the meaning of his existence.

The manipulator explains the present unhappiness with his past experience and enjoys his own suffering. Unable to value himself for who he is, the manipulator feels misunderstood, unrecognized and underestimated.

The liar's punishment is not that no one else believes him, but the fact that he himself cannot believe anyone else. Bernard Show

The more he devalues ​​himself, the more most he is forced to deny himself, not accept and treat her as a "thing", so those around him also become "things." The manipulator comes from sensation own inferiority, extending it to all representatives of the human race. He is sure that this inferiority can only be overcome by struggle with yourself ("bad" parts of yourself) and others.

Why are they manipulated or why do people become manipulators? How to distinguish a manipulator from a "non-manipulator"? What does a person lose by turning into a manipulator? ..

The first reason for the emergence of manipulation lies in the eternal internal conflict of a person between his desire for independence and independence, on the one hand, and the desire to find support in his environment, on the other. Not trusting himself, not believing in the possibility of being independent and independent, a person sees his salvation in trusting other people. But the situation is complicated by the fact that he is also unable to believe others completely, so he has no choice but to manipulate these others within the framework of his own interest in order to somehow support himself. Imagine a man running after someone, clinging to the strap of his cloak while still trying to rule him; or the driver who refused to drive and sat on backseat, but still leading from there the person driving the car! These situations can be summed up in a single word: "distrust."

Secondly, manipulators are not able to accept their flaws and weaknesses, which everyone has and do not believe that they can deserve love. Then the manipulator, in despair, resorts to alternative option: he is trying to achieve absolute power over others, power that would force another person to do what he likes, the manipulator, to think as he needs, to feel what he wants - in a word, to turn the other into a thing, into his thing.

The third reason for manipulative behavior is that our existence is fraught with constant risk and many accidental, unforeseen circumstances that surround us from all sides. This world is unpredictable, and the passive manipulator feels his powerlessness when faced with the true state of affairs in the situation of his existence in which he finds himself. Therefore, it presses on the pity of others, being sure that this is the only way to survive.

Fourthly, manipulators fear close interpersonal relationships, try not to enter into such relationships with people around them, avoid the very possibility of their occurrence. In order to manage their emotions and thus avoid intimacy, people play various games with each other. One of the most basic human fears is the fear of engagement. Thus, a manipulator is a person who interacts with other people within the framework of certain rituals, wanting to avoid through this intimacy and inclusion.

The fifth reason for manipulation: a person in the process of growing up comes to certain conclusions about what life is, and many of them are very illogical. So, for example, one of these conclusions is that life is based on the constant and urgent need of a person for approval from everyone around him. This belief builds the life of a passive manipulator, which is any person who refuses to be honest and open in relations with other people and instead tries to please them, hoping to please them.

How to distinguish a manipulator from a "non-manipulator" (actualizer):

The manipulator is characterized by lies, unawareness (not aware of what is really important in life), control, cynicism (unbelief). "Nemanipulator", or as it is called in psychology, the actualizer is honest (sincere), values ​​freedom (spontaneity, openness), awareness (interest, response), trust (faith, conviction).

The actualizer is able to honestly express his feelings, whatever they may be. He is characterized by sincerity, expressiveness, he really is himself. The actualizer sees and hears himself and others well. He is receptive to art, music and other manifestations of life. The actualizer is spontaneous. He is capable of freely expressing his potentialities. He is the master of his life, a subject, not an object - a "thing". The actualizer deeply believes in himself and others. He strives to be in constant contact with life and to cope with difficulties here and now. 5 Rating 5.00 (2 Votes)

We meet manipulations in communication every day: at work, in the family, communicating with friends or strangers. Should you be afraid of such a psychological impact? How to protect yourself from manipulation?

Definition of the concept

Manipulation can be called one of the most common types of communication. It is necessary for the psychological impact on a person. Manipulation in communication is a way of control, the ability to control the behavior and feelings of an individual.

The process itself consists of a subject (manipulator) and an object (addressee of its influence). Moreover, the latter is not informed about the conduct of psychological intervention in his personality. Therefore, such influence on people (or a group) often has a dismissive or condescending connotation.

Psychological manipulations in communication can be found at different levels: in a personal discussion, in a family, in a team. They can be used both for constructive purposes and for demoralizing a person. The goal, which the manipulator seeks to achieve, plays an important role in this. The techniques with which he is going to influence are also important.

Types of communication manipulations

The types of influence are based on the use of the force of the manipulator and playing on the weaknesses of the object. The latter, unaware of the process, believes that he himself controls his behavior. In this case, all the benefit from his actions goes to the manipulator. He distorts the presentation of information, finds a convenient moment and in a peculiar way conveys information to the addressee. All these components help the manipulator to take advantage of the situation or the reaction of the object for their own purposes. Manipulations in communication (types, techniques, methods) are actually the control of a person's consciousness.

The main types of impact are divided into:

• conscious - a person understands the essence of his impact and sees the final result he strives for (this type is more common in business communication);
• unconscious - a person is vaguely aware of the ultimate goal and the meaning of his impact (this type is more common in interpersonal communication).

Secondary types are divided into:

• linguistic (otherwise they are called communication) - this is a psychological impact on a person through speech (during a dialogue, discussion);
• behavioral - this is the control of consciousness with the help of actions, situations, deeds (in this case, speech serves only as an addition).

What are they needed for?

Manipulation in communication is one of the oldest ways to obtain benefits in a given situation. This psychological impact is not good or bad. It depends only on the ultimate goal and the ways to achieve it.

If a person feels that his consciousness is being controlled, one should figure out what it is for and try to benefit from the new knowledge.

At first, you should decide on the goal. What is the manipulator trying to achieve? Is this only a benefit for him? Perhaps its impact will benefit the addressee. This is relevant in family relationships when the parents are trying to teach the child to perform an action (for example, exercise). In this case, the goal is to take care of the addressee of the impact.

Secondly, you need to decide on the means. If, during the impact, the addressee suffers (experiences humiliation, fear, anger, coercion is carried out in relation to him to something), such demoralization completely subordinates the person to the manipulator. But there is also an impact with the help of flattery - when a counterpart is convinced of his attractiveness or uniqueness. But in this case, the addressee does not suffer, but almost voluntarily obeys the manipulator.

Thus, the characterization of manipulation in communication has a neutral connotation. Much in it depends on the personality of the active subject. If the process of influence is revealed, its meaning disappears. Therefore, you should not always interrupt what is happening. Sometimes it is much more profitable to play along with the manipulator and get your own benefit.

Manipulation techniques in communication

The manipulator chooses suitable techniques, depending on who his activity is directed at. This can be an impact on an individual or an entire audience. The media space has its own established ways of managing human consciousness. Employers often use manipulation techniques to create their own image. In the family, there are separate forms of interaction between parents and children.

The main techniques and methods of manipulation in communication are based on feelings. They are capable of destroying a person's personality, his life. Therefore, you should learn important points mental interaction and try to suppress them.

Exposure to love

In this technique, love is not an unconditional feeling. A person is perceived only if he fulfills certain requirements or conditions. For example: "If you do this and that, I will love you", "Only worthy employees remain in our team, the rest leave of their own accord." In manipulation, conditions are proposed, having fulfilled which, a person will receive at least a good attitude towards himself, as a maximum - love. The cruelty of this psychological influence lies in the fact that the person is not perceived as a whole (with advantages and disadvantages), but only approve of his good behavior.

Exposure to fear

Fear and lack of awareness of the addressee make it possible to deftly manipulate his actions and deeds. For example: “If you don’t go to college, you will become a beggar”, “You are an excellent specialist, but another applicant has appeared for this vacancy”. All invented fears come from a lack of information. Listening to the manipulator, the addressee makes a big mistake. Sometimes, behind such an influence, there is a desire to make a person do something better, without additional motivation or funding.

Exposure to guilt

Feelings of guilt are most often used by manipulators in family life. Experiencing it, a person seeks to make up for the damage done. For example: "You walked and had fun with your friends, and I am alone and babysit with the child, and I create comfort for you", "You'd better have a rest today, and I can do your job for you." The manipulator will constantly press on feelings of guilt or find new episodes. In such a situation, the addressee will try to level the discomfort and over and over again will fall into the same trap. The feeling of guilt subsequently gives rise to aggression, therefore, the manipulator should use such psychological influence with caution.

Exposure to self-doubt

In this case, the manipulator crushes with his authority. He directly indicates the incompetence of the addressee in certain matters. For example: “You are obliged to listen to me - I have lived my life! You are not capable of anything without me "," Actually, I'm the boss here, so it's up to me how this should be done. " Such self-affirmation at the expense of the other can take place at different levels and on different issues. The impact will continue until the addressee gets rid of his insecurity, weakness and acquires the necessary skills.

Impact of pride

Vanity, pride is a wonderful lever for psychological impact. For example: “I see that my wife is tired at work. But you are a smart and an excellent hostess - surprise my friends with a delicious dinner "," I am preparing a promotion for you, but, unfortunately, the salary will have to remain the same for now. " How more people seeks to prove to someone his skills, the more often he tries to catch up and overtake his friends in success, the sooner he will become a victim of psychological influence.

Exposure to pity

This technique is often used by children and young girls. His task is to evoke self-pity and a desire to help. For example: “I’m so tired, I don’t have any strength, and I also have to cook dinner for you”, “I am the boss and every time I get statements for your poor work and pay fines for you”. The victim receives help in this psychological impact. But she herself does not seek to improve her life, but prefers to complain. Light energetic "vampirism" of this action subsequently causes a contemptuous attitude towards the manipulator.

How do you know about the psychological impact?

Exists different ways communication. Manipulation is one of them. But how can an ignorant person understand that he is being bred into feelings or trying to push him to a certain action? There are special keys that the manipulator uses to get the result. Here is some of them.

1. Emotions... If the addressee felt that the opponent "presses" on feelings (for example, pity, empathy, shame, vindictiveness), then the process of mind control is underway.
2. Incomprehensible words... Professional terms, "smart" words appear in the speech. They are a red herring to disguise lies.
3. Repeat a phrase. The addressee hears the repetition of the same utterance in speech. Thus, the manipulator is trying to "zombify", to suggest the necessary thought.
4. Urgency... It creates a certain level of nervousness. The addressee does not have time to comprehend what was said, but he is already being called to action. His attention is distracted, and in the hustle and bustle he begins to do what his opponent wants.
5. The fragmentation of meaning. During the discussion, the addressee is not given all the information. It is crushed into pieces in such a way that a person would not be able to cover the whole news in its entirety, but would draw false conclusions based on a fragmentary phrase.
6. Imposing stereotypes. The manipulator deliberately refers to known truths, emphasizing the recipient's community with them. This imposition of stereotypical thinking or actions leads to their implementation by the object of influence.

Manipulations in communication are necessary in cases where a person does not have the strength, confidence to achieve his desire. He is afraid to openly declare his claims and prefers to get his way with covert influence.

In business relationships

Manipulations in business communication, their presence or absence, depend more on the professionalism of the employee and his confidence in his abilities. It is difficult to influence a person who knows his own worth. If the employee is incompetent or too shy to emphasize his merits, the employer or colleagues will not fail to take advantage of this.

Common methods of exposure in the work environment are:

• ridicule, reproaches; the addressee is nervous, irritated and performs the actions necessary for the manipulator;
• demonstrative resentment - unwillingness to admit one's point of view is wrong, and the addressee will try to fulfill all the whims of the offended;
• flattery, support are designed in order to reduce the vigilance of a person and make him a victim of the impact.

Manipulation in business communication can be avoided if you clearly express your opinion (obviously correct), be confident in your professional qualities... During the exposure, you can try to interrupt the conversation with a phone call or urgent matter... Even a simple change in the topic of discussion will help to avoid manipulation.

In interpersonal relationships

Manipulations in interpersonal communication are most often based on gender. This factor allows the use of stereotypes of behavior ("All women do this", "Real men do not do this").

Another option is to induce a desire to protect your gender identity (“You did everything right, this is the act of a real man”). The success of the psychological impact directly depends on the arsenal of tools and the ability to use them in different situations.

In family relationships

The most common family manipulations are tantrums, silence, demonstrative departure "to mom", partying with friends, drinking binges. Psychological impact used by both parents and children. It is a way to capitalize on the feelings of others.

To avoid such influences in the family, you should learn to trust each other and openly discuss your desires and actions. Perhaps at first conflict situations will be a frequent occurrence. Over time, relatives will learn to talk calmly about their goals and motivations. But there are also constructive manipulations that can inspire a spouse or child to new achievements.

How to protect yourself from psychological influences?

Protection against manipulation in communication primarily consists in avoiding the manipulator. You should minimize contact with the person or, if this is not possible, try to turn off your emotions. If you do not make decisions hastily, under the influence of other people's words, but think them over, this will help reduce the intensity of the psychological impact.

The desire to manipulate is most often a latent desire for power. Praise or appreciation will force the person to reconsider how they interact with people.

You should also try to keep your distance, not inform the manipulator about your life and its details. The more he knows about the addressee, the more methods of influence he will receive.

You have to learn to refuse. Better to be considered a callous person than constantly doing someone else's work.

Manipulations in communication and their neutralization are common phenomena in society. Therefore, you should always remember that everyone has the right:

• mistakes and your own opinion;
• to change your mind, change your mind;
• do not answer questions if they seem to be incorrect;
• be yourself, not try to be attractive to everyone;
• be illogical.

Most have heard about the psychology of manipulation in connection with the socio-psychological impact on people's behavior during the color revolutions recent years... Before using methods of mass influence on people as a systemic technology, psychologists studied manipulation techniques at the individual level.

There are many books on the nature and technologies of manipulation, on how to recognize a manipulator in an immediate environment and resist him. There are even trainings that teach the techniques of influencing the subconscious mind for successful business. Which is not entirely ethical, but in demand.

In fact, unconsciously manipulating is part of communication and a natural ability of every person. It becomes a problem if it is practiced deliberately to obtain a specific planned result. Because this is violence. Only psychological.

What is manipulation?

Before moving into the field of psychology, the term "manipulation" has been used in socialist political science since the 60s. in relation to the "imperialist" media. Earlier, in political and everyday life, it was known as "intrigue".

A similar concept of manipulation, a stratagem, existed in ancient Greece and Rome as a military trick. And 3 thousand years ago in China it was used not only in military affairs, but also in interpersonal communication. This is a description of specific behaviors that take into account psychology, setting and calculation to achieve a specific hidden goal. At the same time, their use was condemned to achieve "low" victories.

In 1939, a treatise "On 36 stratagems" was found in the Chinese province of Shanxi. In Der Listige Jesus, a Protestant priest from Switzerland W. Mauch describes how Jesus used the same stratagems during his life.

What manipulation in psychology is, was well described in his work by E. Dotsenko, and, from the point of view of sociology, by S. G. Kara-Murza. Noteworthy are the works of H. Breiker and D. Simon, the book of N. Gegen.

If we summarize all the definitions, then manipulation is an implicit control of methods of indirect influence on inner world a person, using him as a passive object for the sake of domination, exploitation or to achieve other goals unknown to the “victim”.

But in a consumer society, the speed of advancement in career steps is put above all else. And even if other people are used for this, then with such a public morality - “they are to blame” that they cannot do the same. Manipulators are often effective managers and "psychological abuse" in some trainings is already presented as a result of evolution. Of course, such an individualistic attitude is not only controversial, but also destructive for humanity as a whole. Nevertheless, there is such a definition: manipulation - structuring the world and the spiritual state of others, which always allows you to win.

How to recognize a manipulator?

Acquaintance with begins from childhood. Interpersonal relationships contain elements of such control. The individual weaknesses of loved ones are used: fears, complexes, inadequate self-esteem, naivety, guilt and other pain points. But this is not blackmail, but a veiled influence on the sphere of emotions.

Manipulators are those who were prevented by some traumatic experience in childhood from finding unity with the world or people. There are natural-born "managers" who directly feel the psychological weaknesses of their neighbors and skillfully play on them.

Hungarian psychologists from the University of Pécs have shown that such people have increased brain activity when they saw that the partner in the experiment was playing fair. Whereas the rest, such a surge occurs in the opposite case. Scientists have concluded that the manipulator, having met decency, immediately calculates what benefit can be derived from this.

How to recognize a manipulator? The rulers of someone else's subconscious are often characterized by personality traits"Dark triad":

1. Machiavellianism - cynicism and lack of principle in achieving goals, disregard of morality.
2. Psychopathy - ruthlessness, inability to sympathize and empathize, shamelessness.
3. Narcissism is narcissism, an inability to empathize.

What unites them: a manipulative style of communication, selfishness, courage, emotional coldness. Dominance, a sense of superiority, ambition, persistence. Oddly enough, but the owners of such traits are sexually attractive to women. Which they also use, using their charm and acting skills to arouse sympathy.

The first communication may not bode well. But if at subsequent meetings, there is discomfort, anxiety, or repetitive negative emotions, this is evidence of "psychological abuse."

It is worth listening to intuition when the behavior and mood of the interlocutor does not correspond to the words: he crosses his arms over his chest, holds them near his mouth, crosses his legs. Sometimes it happens that an extremely intelligent, friendly behavior really pleases a person - this is also a reason to think. Especially if he is showing heightened interest:

• Any facts in your life. Interested in family, work, hobbies, future views, facts from the past, especially negative ones.
• To the peculiarities of the worldview. What ideals, personal values, attitudes are cultivated. For this, philosophical themes are brought up.

Should alert:

1. Sheer flattery. More often used for narcissistic people who easily take it at face value.
2. Imposing yourself, your services and assistance.
3. Demonstration of love and respect. Favors and gifts. It captivates and draws in the gratitude network.
4. Repetitions of phrases, words are pronounced in a different order, sometimes replaced by similar meanings, but the meaning remains the same so that the idea penetrates the subconscious.
5. Usage compound words, special terms to divert attention, reduce non-verbal control.
6. Mosaic conversation: starts with one, jumping from topic to topic, ends with another.
7. Haste in the conversation itself and artificial time trouble for actions, so that in the confusion it was impossible to think about what is happening. At the same time, both the dramatization of the consequences and the whipping up of anxiety are possible.
8. Strained jokes and artificial humor.
9. Mirroring. When the interlocutor copies the posture, gestures, manners in order to "be on the same wavelength."
10. Interrupting and changing the topic by the interlocutor.
11. Answers by questions.
12. Emotional resilience. Fast response to objections.
13. Unusual behavior that changes abruptly.
14. An unpleasant aftertaste after communication, although there were no obvious prerequisites.
15. On the contrary, an inexplicable charm.

Psychological aggressors consciously grope for deep feelings. And they give verbal or non-verbal signs that the objects of manipulative actions themselves insert into the existing context (explain to themselves), changing reality in accordance with the desires of the manipulators, without realizing it. But if you are warned, you can fight back.

Basic psychological techniques of manipulation

Manipulations are divided into deliberate (more often in business communication) and unconscious (in interpersonal). "Puppeteers" use and active methods manipulation, and passive.

The main methods of manipulation in everyday communication are based on feelings and psychological weaknesses:

• False love. In order not to lose good attitude to himself, a person goes on about the "puppeteer" who accepts only those personality traits that are beneficial to him personally.
• Lies and deception, denial and excuses.
• A caring attitude that was not asked in exchange for ...
• Superficial sympathy, which turns out to be "crocodile tears."
• The cultivation of the feeling of guilt makes the addressee fulfill the wishes of the "actor".
• Depreciation. Self-affirmation due to the uncertainty of the other. And for this they beat on self-esteem.
• - a favorite sin not only for the hero Al Pacino, but also for successful manipulators. "After all, you are so wonderful, you can do a few more things?" The method of rewards also works for the proud.
• Gaining pity or empathy is an easy way to build trust. To take over afterwards.

• Seduction with benefits, relationships, gifts, confessions, or "what do you want, my lord"? And then veiled threats to deprive it.
• Anger, irritation, inappropriate for the situation. They force vulnerable and sensitive people to make a deal.
• Demonstrative resentment. Which passes abruptly when you get what you want. This is what differs from the sincere one.
• Suggestion. Some give in easily, but all are vulnerable to fatigue.
• Ignoring. Feelings, words, desires of the opponent.
• Irony, sarcasm, to shame the interlocutor.
• Minimization and rationalization, as well as the simulation of innocence. An explanation that inappropriate behavior is not so terrible in comparison with the "world revolution" or a complete justification. Sometimes with indignation and feigned surprise.
• Projecting guilt (collective, for example) on a specific person, condemning him, instilling false guilt.
• Feigning stupidity. When they pretend that they do not understand what is at stake.

Everyone is familiar with the basic psychological techniques of manipulation. Some are normal and applied in education, although no better than motivation and sincere dialogue. Sometimes they are needed and interesting in a relationship. But one-sided cruel manipulation is unfair and ugly.

Who are the victims of manipulators?

People with increased responsibility, naivety and gullibility are vulnerable to manipulators. Also lonely and elderly. The following weaknesses and advantages are exploited:

• Low self-esteem.
• Fear of emotions, especially negative ones.
• Passion for pleasure.
• Narcissism.
• Greed
• Lack of consciousness and superconsciousness.
• Impressiveness and sensitivity.
• Altruism.
• Masochism.
• Impulsiveness.

Thus, it is clear which personality traits should be worked out in order not to become victims of manipulators.

How to resist manipulation?

To see the manipulator, you should be careful and take your time to make decisions. If a "border violator" is identified, then the following methods will help to resist manipulation:

1. Find out the goals of the aggressor.
2. Hide your emotions, don't show your vulnerabilities.
3. Be yourself.
4. Do not react to provocations, do not give the opportunity to impose destructive feelings on you.
5. Don't make excuses.
6. Ask direct follow-up questions.
7. Master conscious "shallow" communication, so as not to go into existential. That is, do not try on other people's emotions to your coordinate system.
8. Calculate what reactions are expected from you. Don't show it.
9. Find out the reasons for your action by asking: "Why am I doing this?"
10. Be able to.
11. Don't be afraid to say that you've changed your mind, made a mistake, or don't want to continue the conversation.
12. Leave if you don't like communication.
13. Declare that you know the target of the manipulator. When exposed, the games of the "puppeteer" lose their meaning. But they will not admit the accusations; at best, they will change the subject. At worst, they will begin to press on feelings so that you feel wrong.

Don't be afraid of what others think of you. The best defense from manipulators - the development of assertiveness in oneself in order to be an independent, self-sufficient person and live in emotional balance.

Secret service agents, psychologists, politicians, specialists of special business structures, and sometimes simple people use these mind manipulation techniques to achieve their goals.
Most often, the victim does not even suspect that he is the object of influence. The most stubborn give in easily and do whatever you want them to do.
We have prepared for you a description of these techniques, as well as protection technologies against each method of manipulation. Be careful! Add yourself so as not to get caught!
- Methods:

1. manipulation of feelings of guilt or resentment.
Using resentment or guilt is one of the surest ways to manipulate a loved one. The image of the unfortunate victim often gives its bearer "Dividends" in the form of unspoken powers and reparations. It happens that a person has been living in the role of a victim for years and has already become accustomed to it, but in those around him he no longer causes sympathy and a desire to help, but, on the contrary, provokes irritation and even aggression.
Because in fact, as strange as it sounds, it is the victim who is always at the top of the pyramid in the family system. Such a person influences others through their feelings of guilt. Over time, people involved in this game begin to directly or semi-consciously understand this manipulation and react to it with aggression.
- Antidote.
It is best to develop a family rule to forget grievances. And not to remember each other's past sins during family quarrels. It will not lead to anything good anyway. In the event that your partner has offended you in some way, then it is better to immediately discuss this issue. In a civilized and correct manner, not assessing what is happening or your partner.
Clarify the situation and adjust the interaction rules to reduce the likelihood of a similar situation repeating. Let's say metaphorically: write down grievances in the sand, and carve joys in marble and granite. Make it the norm for your family and see how much easier and happier your life becomes.
2. manipulation of anger.
There are people who lose their temper to force you to give in to them. These are manipulators using so-called tactical anger.
- Antidote.
The worst thing is to follow the lead of such a person. After all, if his technique works, he will continue to do the same with you and others in the future. To begin with, you need your determination: you must not give in or allow yourself to be shouted at. Only if the manipulator continues to scream, leave. Continue this behavior in any subsequent skirmishes when he is angry, until the angry opponent learns to behave rationally with you.
With regard to your own anger, to which you will also often be provoked, it is worthwhile to develop a conscious position and rules in advance. Remember that in anger you may even be able to give your best speech. But the chances are high that you will regret it later and will regret it all your life.
3. manipulation of silence.
People use meaningful silence when they want to show how upset they are. Otherwise, in their opinion, you will think that the problem is not important to them. People who tend to remain silent for minor reasons create an unpleasant atmosphere that can ruin a work relationship. Silence is designed to make you feel guilty when you realize how upset this person is.
- Antidote.
Try to refrain from playing along with Inflated, because if it works once, the silent will resort to this technique all the time. But don't be harsh with him; act like everything is fine. Wait, let him break the silence himself. In the event that you have discussions with a silent person, listen to him with an open mind. In a friendly and reasonable manner, explain to him what your point of view is based on.
Even if your interlocutor continues to sulk after your story, you will know that you did your best. You didn’t back down just to avoid the silence, the purpose of which was to force you to surrender.
4. manipulation of love.
“If you love, then.” This manipulation is designed for close people who have a positive attitude towards the manipulator. The fear of being rejected and losing love has been strong in people since childhood. Many parents inadvertently tried to manipulate their child, saying “If you don’t listen to me / do what I say, etc., then I will stop communicating with you / love you / take care of you, etc.”.
- Antidote.
Love is not a bargaining chip, but the result of a relationship. When you notice exploitation of your senses, consider how much you need it.
5. manipulation of hope.
Brilliant promises often hide the desire for the immediate benefit of their author. The fabulous promises of the cat Basilio and the fox of Alice were dictated by their desire to get gold as soon as possible, ringing in Buratino's pocket. Often, such "Songs" also lead more knowledgeable citizens to bury cash "in the field of miracles in the land of fools."
- Antidote.
The Arabic proverb says: "The clever one hopes for his own affairs, and the foolish one relies on hope." Trust facts, not opinions. Make decisions based on real experience, not someone else's stories or assumptions.
6. manipulation of vanity.
The little hooks clinging tightly to an over-inflated ego may sound like an innocent comment. Praise used in calculating to achieve your goals: "you are excellent at making reports! Surely, no one can handle the one I want to offer you better than you!" You probably couldn't. ”“ Antidote.
Remember, did you plan to make the proposal before presenting the provocative proposal? Check the correspondence of the conceived to your interests and possibilities.
7. manipulation of irony or sarcasm.
The manipulator chooses an initially ironic tone, critical statements and remarks, seasoned with jokes or provocative comments.
- Antidote: it is impossible to make yourself offended without your own participation. Do not believe it - try to be offended just like that, no matter what. Only if you do not succumb to the manipulator's provocations, realizing or reminding yourself with whom and what you are dealing with, you will be able to maintain clarity of thought, accuracy of wording and emotional balance.

What does it mean to manipulate a person? Manipulation is different methods suggestions, impact on the opponent's consciousness through the subconscious. Sometimes up to hypnosis (for example, gypsy, psychotherapeutic hypnosis).

A person who knows how to manage people is a subtle psychologist by nature. He constantly empathizes with someone, but does not separate from his own personality at all. Knows those areas of the psyche that can be used to play their roles, to introduce useful thoughts. Knows how to effortlessly force to do what the interlocutor does not do according to on their own... Know how to read non-verbal information in order to manipulate people.

With skillful manipulations, information reaches the opponent's motivational sphere in a roundabout way - bypassing consciousness. The basic rule of how to manipulate people is that expressions are presented in a neutral form, or with an emotional accompaniment that obscures the main meaning. Lulls feelings of criticism and protest. Conscious choice of words, their combination changes the perception of objective reality.

• sane, with a developed logical thinking; instilling anything in such individuals is not easy. They have a weak point: a love of convenience, well-being, comfort and safety. This is manipulation at the level of needs;
• entertainment lovers are a vulnerable target, rationality and common sense are not their priority;
• excessive materialists quickly succumb to ideas that promise profit;
• overly economical: they choose the cheapest and in large quantities.
• narcissists succumb to manipulation with compliments and flattery;
• with brightly developed animal instincts - they are brought down by the primitiveness of needs: love for food, sleep, sex;
• conscious intellectuals take the side of the manipulator in order to understand his point of view;
• with a developed sense of justice - it is enough for the manipulator to put pressure on the victim, focusing on conscience and a sense of duty;
• increased self-esteem - it is easy for such a person to inspire that he deserves more;
• greedy give in to tempting offers and promises;
• elderly - such people are often gullible, because they are not adapted to the framework of the new time and live in the circumstances of the previous, more open conditions.

Manipulation of people should be understood as a whole complex of techniques for influencing the consciousness of other people. In fact, this is a whole art, assuming that a manipulating person (manipulator), understanding the intricacies of the human psyche, finds an individual approach to any person. At the same time, he constantly forms a new image of himself in order to achieve his goals. Many people, unfortunately, do not even think that there are a huge number of techniques and methods of manipulation, and that with their help they are "controlled" almost every day. This is because manipulation tends to be stealthy. Few people are able to master all the methods, but even a few will be enough to direct the actions of a particular person in the right direction.

The manipulator must have an idea of ​​personality types, be sensitive to the mood and emotional state of people. And any of us can fall under the influence of such a person. But the difference in suggestibility (more or less we give in to influence) already depends on individual characteristics... There are even those who simply cannot be manipulated. Most often these are very strong and perceptive natures with specific mental properties. And manipulators try not to get involved with them, because all their hidden intentions immediately become clear.

Any manipulator to a certain extent is a psychologist, because he determines the "potential" of the victim, her weak spots, advantages and disadvantages of character and temperament. And as soon as a weak point is found, he begins to influence it. Such a point can be an emotional state, a state of love, affection, resentment, interest or belief. The main task of the manipulator is to determine what exactly is a point. The media (mass manipulation), public figures, politicians and other high-ranking officials acting out of selfish interests are guided by similar principles in their activities.

By the way, Tatyana Vasilyeva, a trainer of the Equator company, tells in a very accessible form about what manipulation is. Watch the video, after which we will talk about what psychology tells us about human manipulation.

The basics of the psychology of manipulation. Psychological techniques for manipulating the mental consciousness of a person and the masses

The art of manipulating people. How to learn to manipulate people

Some individuals have the gift of manipulation from an early age - in childhood, most of us do it unconsciously, over time, either forgetting about such skills, or developing and improving them. What does it mean to manipulate a person? Literally, this means direct or indirect influence, forcing a person to act according to the plan of the manipulator.

Is it worth learning to do this? Of course, yes. The technique of penetration into the human subconsciousness allows you to inspire people with what you want, while using nothing but communication. In addition, knowledge of possible techniques of this kind protects against unconscious submission to other individuals. The art of manipulating people is easy for someone, but for someone it is quite difficult, it all depends on individual qualities the nature of a potential manipulator.

Methods, techniques and methods of manipulation. (Modern psychotechnology manipulation)

Countermeasures can be different, depending on the skills of the object of manipulation. For example, as a result of "adjustment" (the so-called calibration in NLP), you can first stage a state of mind similar to that of a manipulator, and after calming down, calm down the manipulator as well. Or, for example, you can show your calmness and absolute indifference to the manipulator's anger, thereby confusing him, and therefore depriving him of his manipulative advantage. You can sharply increase the tempo of your own aggressiveness yourself with speech techniques simultaneously with a light touch of the manipulator (his hand, shoulder, arm ...), and additional visual impact, i.e. in this case, we intercept the initiative, and by simultaneously influencing the manipulator with the help of a visual, auditory and kinesthetic stimulus, we introduce him into a state of trance, and hence dependence on you, because in this state the manipulator itself becomes the object of our influence, and we we can introduce certain attitudes into his subconscious, because it is known that in a state of anger, any person is subject to coding (psychoprogramming). Other countermeasures can also be used. It should be remembered that in a state of anger it is easier to make a person laugh. You should know about such a feature of the psyche and use it in time.

Manipulation is a hidden psychological technique with which you can force any person, I emphasize, anyone, to perform the actions you need against his will and interests.
But this is the standard definition of manipulation. Let's give this skill a broader and more practical definition. Manipulation is a psychological weapon that gives a person the same (and even more) advantage over other people as other types of weapons. With this weapon, you can attack and capture, and you can defend and defend. It helps you survive and succeed. A good manipulator, that is, a person who skillfully masters hidden psychological techniques, is much stronger than a person armed to the teeth.
Why? Because he can induce the most different people to the actions he needs and thus solve any problems and tasks. And what problems and tasks can a person armed with weapons familiar in our understanding be able to solve? Only a few, right? The strength of the weapon has its limits. But there are no restrictions on manipulations. You can manipulate all, without exception, people, both the most ordinary and the most powerful and domineering. The only limitation is your own abilities. The more perfect your manipulation skills, the more people you can manipulate. The manipulations themselves have no restrictions - any person can be manipulated.

The one who possesses the art of manipulation owns the world. Any intelligence agent, politician, media personality or psychologist will tell you about this. And if there are those who study and use manipulation to influence the consciousness of the masses and control the psyche of individuals at a professional level, then there must be those who are fluent in the art of resisting sophisticated manipulators. Below are 5 particularly tricky ways to manipulate people and how to counter them. These techniques are often used by special services, the media, politicians, business structures, advertisers, show business figures or ordinary people who ceased to be such when they reached the level of God in manipulation.

Method 1. Emotional contamination

This technique is often used by politicians, businessmen, actors, TV people. It is designed to bypass the censorship of the human psyche, which builds barriers to the penetration of undesirable, irrelevant or unnecessary information into the consciousness. In this case, the manipulative influence is directed to the feelings through emotional contamination. Attaching information bright emotions, you can easily reach out to the heart of a person, put pressure on his reflexes and instincts, and thereby force the "experimental" to experience the storm of passions necessary for the manipulator. You can observe this technique in action in advertising, reality shows, election campaigns, trade and other situations that require emotional excitement of people.

Anti-manipulation: Be aware and be aware of what goals are being pursued by people who spin you on emotions. Always keep your own goal in mind, and if the proposed service, product, entertainment, promise certainly satisfies it, consider the emotional contamination a pleasant bonus. If the actions of the alleged manipulators lead you away from your true intention, then the manipulators are real. Stop and pause to make a decision without rushing.

Method 2. Hidden commands for action

Dexterous manipulators hide their command in the request, allowing the person to think that he owns the situation. An illustrative example can become a Zen Buddhist parable.

The Zen teacher Bankei, with wise conversations, attracted adherents of different sects to the circle of his followers, making them sincere and constant listeners. Dissatisfied with this circumstance, the priest of the Nichiren sect once came to Bankeyi during a conversation with his disciples, and said with a sneer:
- Bankei! Only those who respect you listen to you and obey your words. And I don't respect you! Make me obey you!
- Good! Come closer and I will show you that I can do it easily.
Nichiren haughtily walked through the crowd of students, and stood to the left, as the Zen teacher indicated with his hand.
“No, though,” Bankei corrected himself. - Stand on the right. This way you will better see the essence of what is happening.
The priest obeyed with the same arrogance.
- See? - Bankei turned to him again. - You obey me, and I have not even begun to state my arguments. I am sure you are a subtle and deep person. Sit in the circle of my students and listen.

Anti-manipulation: You must have your own clear "frame of reference" on which you can rely even in unconscious decision making. Established principles, convictions, and life credo will provide your "backbone" with a core, on which manipulators will break their teeth.

Method 3. Tactics to avoid discussion

This psychological weapon manipulation technique uses resentment or accusation. The main goal is to disrupt the discussion, which acquires an undesirable outcome for the manipulator. He provokes a conflict in order to piss off the interlocutor, arouse destructive emotions in him and turn the discussion into a quarrel, leading away from the topic under discussion. The manipulator can use such tricks: rude interruption of the opponent's speech, increased tone, disregard, unwillingness to listen, disrespect. His provocative phrases may sound like this: "It is impossible to have constructive conversations with you - you only hear yourself!", "Your demonstrative behavior makes the continuation of our conversation impossible!" ! "," I do not intend to cherish your complexes! Calm your nerves - let's continue the conversation! ".

Anti-manipulation: Your main weapon is emotional calmness. Respond to any attacks calmly, remembering that they can be provocations. The manipulator will remain "with a nose" if you leave his carefully thought out and rehearsed speech without a reaction (no answer, excuses, fussiness, etc.)

Method 4. Psychological "Aikido"

This technique is at the heart of the Perceptual Contrast Principle. The manipulator provides the necessary information on the contrast of events, seeking to change the opponent's beliefs and his positive reaction to the circumstances. An ideal example is the letter published by psychologist Robert Cialdini in The Psychology of Influence.

He's a wonderful guy, we fell in love and are going to get married. We haven't set an exact date yet, but the wedding will take place before my pregnancy is noticed. Yes, mom and dad, I'm pregnant. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my friend contracted a minor infection that interferes with passing premarital blood tests, and I inadvertently contracted it from him ...
Now, after I told you what happened, I want to tell you that there was no fire in the hostel, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I am not infected and I have no fiancé. However, I am getting low scores on American history and bad grades in chemistry, and I want you to look at those grades with wisdom and condescension. Your loving daughter Sharon. "

Anti-manipulation: "He who has no criticism has no head!" - says English wisdom. Learn to be critical about everything. In this case, it will be much more difficult and dangerous to influence you. Remember your system of values, chosen positions, long-term priorities and always correlate them with the information obtained under the influence of manipulators.

Method 5. Herd instinct

The main goal of the manipulator who has chosen this method is to force the opponent to adhere to the opinion of the masses. He can lead to this with such phrases: "All normal people do this!", "Not a single sane person will argue with this!", "Why are you better than others ?!" etc. Thus, the aggressor influences the herd instinct inherent in every person at the genetic level. Surviving in the herd is much easier, and the opponent instinctively begins to feel more confident when he acts like most people in the social community to which he belongs. It is easy to manipulate those who want to live "like all normal people."

Anti-manipulation: There is nothing worse than being like everyone else. For those who are afraid to get out of the crowd, have their own opinion, become a “black sheep” or a bright personality, life is average. This time. Two - a signal from him in the form of generalizing marker words will help you not to become a victim of a manipulator: everything, no one, any, always, never, everywhere.

Video manipulation of people