Don't put pressure on the patient. You're putting pressure on something that hurts

But what if you constantly have a headache and pressure on your eyes? What to do in such a situation? Let's figure out why this happens and how to deal with it.

Causes

Possible reasons for this condition may be:

• signs of overvoltage;
• migraine;
• increased intracranial pressure;
• benign or malignant brain tumors;
• pathologies of cerebral vessels;
• inflammatory colds;
• infectious diseases of the brain;
• trigeminal and facial neuralgia;
• toothache;
• allergy;
• increased eye pressure;
• all kinds of traumatic brain injuries, bruises;
• hypertension or hypotension;
• osteochondrosis;
• reflex pain (gastritis, colitis);
• chemical poisoning;
• mental illness;
• bad habits;
• weather dependence;
• osteochondrosis;
• period of menstruation in women;
• reaction to bright light, smells.

Explanation

Let's analyze why the head hurts and puts pressure on the eyes. Reasons for each specific case:

• Overvoltage. Occurs when there is excessive strain on the eyes - this is a prolonged stay at the computer, preparing students for exams. Also, a headache in this case may be associated with some kind of stressful situations or emotional breakdowns. If you have an incorrect posture while sleeping or at the computer, pain may appear due to muscle strain: in the back, neck, and head. Usually the nature of the pain is compressive, moderate intensity.
• Migraine is often a hereditary disease. It is characterized by acute, throbbing pain, involving half of the head: that is, the eye, forehead and temple on the right or left.
• Increased intracranial pressure. The pressure increases due to an increase in cerebrospinal fluid, which stretches the arachnoid membrane of the brain. And this stretching causes pain in the head. It is typical that the pain intensifies in the morning.
• Neoplasms of the brain. The outflow of cerebrospinal fluid is obstructed, therefore intracranial pressure increases. Also, neoplasms put pressure on certain areas of the brain, which causes headaches.
• Pathologies of cerebral vessels. They can be congenital, for example arteriovenous malformation, or acquired, for example atherosclerosis. With these diseases, the pain is similar to that that occurs with migraine.
• Infectious diseases of the brain: encephalitis, meningitis are serious diseases that can result in death if not treated in a timely manner. Very severe headaches around the eyes and neck.
• Inflammatory diseases. Inflammation of the maxillary sinuses, sinusitis. Headaches are caused by intoxication of the body. Along with the headache, a rise in temperature and runny nose are noticed.
• Inflammation of the trigeminal nerve is one of the most painful types of pain. The pain, like an electric shock, can be localized near the nose and in the eye area.
• Toothache. Pain in the frontal region of the head occurs when the incisors are damaged.
• Allergy. Headache and pressure on the eyes combined with other symptoms characteristic of allergies. Unpleasant feeling.
• Increased eye pressure. Occurs with glaucoma, colds and inflammatory processes in the eyes. There is a pressing pain in the eyes, and a headache mainly in the forehead area.
• Traumatic brain injuries: there are open and closed. Depending on the severity of the injury, headaches can last for months or even years.
• Women suffer from headaches during menopause, during PMS, and also during pregnancy.
• In hypertension, headaches are caused by increased intracranial pressure, muscle pain, and ischemic pain (poor blood circulation to the brain). With hypotension, headache occurs due to fluctuations in vascular tone.
• Osteochondrosis. If the headache is provoked by muscle contractions, then the pain is dull. Vertebral artery syndrome is involved - burning pain. An additional symptom may be pressing pain in the eyes.
• Reflex headache. Occurs in diseases internal organs(stomach, liver, intestines), astigmatism, incorrectly selected glasses, adenoids and other diseases.
• Chemical poisoning. Almost all poisonings: drugs, varnishes, paints, pesticides and others result in a headache and pressure on the eyes.
• Bad habits, such as smoking, alcoholism, drug addiction, also cause headaches due to spasms of blood vessels, in particular the blood vessels of the brain.
• Mental illnesses are accompanied by headaches.

A headache is not a diagnosis, but just a symptom of a disease. Therefore, if headaches often bother you, you need to see a doctor who can examine, find the cause and prescribe correct treatment. To do this you will have to undergo an examination: pass general analysis blood and urine, biochemical blood test, measure blood pressure. Check the functioning of the heart and internal organs (liver, stomach). The doctor may order an MRI of the brain, as well as other diagnostic tests. Only after a diagnosis has been made can headaches be properly treated.

Where to start treatment?

And yet, when there is a headache in the forehead and pressure on the eyes, how to treat such conditions?

Treatment of headaches must begin with diagnosis of the disease that caused it.

Nervous tension

If it is pain caused by tension, then you need to remove the source of irritation, that is, give your eyes rest, take a comfortable position. And the most important thing is not to get nervous over trifles.

Migraine

If it is a migraine or migraine-like pain, then you should not delay taking medications such as Citramon or Askafen, since they are effective in the first half hour from the onset of the headache. It is also necessary to provide the patient with peace.

Reflex pain

If you have a headache and pressure on your eyes due to reflex pain, then first of all you should treat the underlying disease. That is, to remove adenoids, treat gastritis, vision, etc. After all, a headache can be overcome only by neutralizing its causes.

Poisoning

When the headache started due to poisoning chemicals, then first of all you need to neutralize the effects of poisons on the body. Induce vomiting, drink Almagel, Activated carbon. For inflammatory diseases that occur with an increase in temperature, it is necessary to take anti-inflammatory drugs and antibiotics.

For allergies, it is necessary to treat with antihistamines.

Drugs

Drugs such as Aspirin, Indomethacin and others are effective against pain, but they have a bad effect on the gastric mucosa. “Sedalgin”, “Pentalgin” also help well, but they become addictive. For many diseases there are a number of other specific drugs. Therefore, if your head hurts very often and puts pressure on your forehead and eyes, then it is best to consult a doctor. After all, many headache medications cannot be sold without a doctor’s prescription.

ethnoscience

Here are some effective ones folk ways, which will not harm, but can quickly relieve headaches:

• An old proven grandmother's method is to tie a cabbage leaf to a sore spot, that is, to the head.
• To cleanse and heal the body, take a teaspoon of honey diluted in a glass of warm water every morning on an empty stomach.
• Rub the temples with “Star” balm or apply lemon peel to them.
• Useful to take warm bath, adding sea salt or pine extract to it. Useful for someone hot shower, for some - cold. You can take a contrast shower if there are no contraindications.
• Massaging the muscles that have caused tension can also help relieve pain.
• Hot tea with lemon with the addition of honey, mint, St. John's wort will help as a sedative.

Headache prevention

Good sleep, walks fresh air, maintaining rest, alternating mental work with physical work is the main prevention of headaches. If you know what irritants cause headaches, you should try to have as little contact with them as possible. Do not abuse bad habits and undergo preventive medical examinations more often in order to earlier identify a disease that may cause headaches.

Causes of pressing sensations in the head

According to statistics, every person experiences a pressing pain in the head at least once in their life. It can have different localization and degree of intensity, and is often accompanied by additional symptoms. The reasons why the head is compressed can also be different. The sign is not always pathological in nature, but must be assessed by a specialist. In most cases, it is possible to get rid of it by adjusting your daily routine or switching to a more healthy image life. Conservative therapy has a good effect on a number of diseases. Ignoring a symptom can lead to the development of emergency conditions.

Types of pressing headaches

Based on the pressure in the head, where the symptom is concentrated and what manifestations it is accompanied by, an experienced doctor is able to make a preliminary diagnosis. Unpleasant sensations are caused by various pathological and physiological processes Therefore, specific therapy is required in each specific case.

During an attack of pressing headache, it is better not to take independent actions, and contact a specialist. In some cases, inadequate therapy will worsen the condition and increase the risk of complications.

Neuralgic

In this case, a compressive headache becomes the result of pinched nerve endings. It usually appears in the back of the head and spreads to the crown. It can be unilateral or symmetrical.

It is often accompanied by numbness in certain areas of the face or fingers. It is often mild or moderate in severity, but can be intense. Sometimes accompanied by characteristic painful lumbago in the neck, temples, and jaws.

Vascular

The result of a spasm of the wall, expansion, narrowing or blocking of the lumen of the blood channel. Depending on the type of cerebral vascular damage, the patient’s head bursts or presses from the inside.

This may be accompanied by painful pulsation in certain areas of the skull or over the entire area. The squeezing sensation is accompanied by dizziness, restlessness, irritability, or weakness.

Liquorodynamic

The brain is surrounded by cerebrospinal fluid, which protects the organ from negative external influence. Liquid is constantly formed, circulates in a confined space and is absorbed into the blood. As a result of damage to internal organs, infectious diseases, traumatic brain injuries and a number of other issues, these processes can be disrupted, which leads to an increase in the volume of cerebrospinal fluid. Due to increased intracranial pressure, a person experiences a pressing, bursting pain that does not respond to taking antispasmodics and analgesics. Often it is encircling, like a hoop that covers the entire skull.

Infectious-toxic

In this case, the patient’s head is compressed against the background of fever and deterioration in general health. The phenomenon is the result of poisoning the body with toxins or other harmful substances.

Cephalgia is constant, obsessive, persistent, without specific localization. She responds poorly to taking medications and using improvised means to relieve symptoms. You can completely get rid of it only by eliminating the cause of the disease.

Voltage

The most common type of cephalalgia, which occurs as a result of prolonged tension in the neck muscles due to stress, after physical and mental stress, is a tension headache.

In this case, the head feels like it’s in a vice, sensations are concentrated along the entire circumference of the skull, accompanied by weakness, irritability, and decreased performance. You can even find the most painful places on your head by feeling the skin. The symptom goes away on its own after rest, relaxation therapy, massage.

Why can pressing, squeezing pain occur?

To make an accurate diagnosis, it is not enough to assess the nature of the pain; one must also take into account the presence of additional alarming signs. You should not try to figure out on your own why this type of cephalgia occurred. You should contact a therapist who will conduct an initial survey and examination, prescribe treatment or refer you to a doctor of a narrow specialization. If the pressure on the head is only occasional and the symptom does not cause much concern, there is no reason to panic. It is enough to adjust your lifestyle and daily routine. The systematic occurrence of the problem may be due to circulatory disorders, which requires immediate medical intervention.

Hormonal imbalance

Compression in the head can be accompanied by physiological conditions such as PMS, menstruation, menopause.

At the same time, the woman feels as if her head has been tightened; even touching the skin can be painful. Also, the symptom can occur when the functioning of the endocrine glands is disrupted, in particular the parathyroid and thyroid glands.

Migraine

Women of reproductive age especially often suffer from this disease. A painful attack occurs on its own or in response to irritants. It can develop without warning or after an aura (a set of specific symptoms).

The pressing sensation during migraine is often accompanied by pulsation or bloating. It usually originates in the frontal part, radiates to the eyes, temples and back of the head from the problematic side, and gradually spreads to the entire hemisphere. The attack lasts from several hours to 3 days. It is often accompanied by dizziness, nausea and vomiting, which brings relief.

Traumatic brain injuries

Head injuries rarely occur without pain. The symptom occurs immediately after the blow or some time after it.

In some cases, there is a lot of pressure on the head from above, in others, patients feel as if their skull is splitting due to the pressure coming from inside. The condition is usually accompanied by symptoms such as dizziness, confusion, fainting, problems with perception or speech, nausea and vomiting. Even minor cephalgia that appears after a head injury is an indication to see a doctor. If you miss the development of cerebral edema, rupture of a vessel or the formation of a hematoma, this can lead to death.

Hypertonic disease

With high blood pressure, patients feel not so much squeezing as bloating in the head. It does not allow you to rest or even close your eyes. The sensation occurs in the back of the head and can spread throughout the entire skull. At the peak of pain, pulsation occurs. The patient's face turns red, his pulse and breathing quicken. Any external stimuli worsen symptoms. After a while, they are accompanied by nausea and dizziness. A person who has high blood pressure should monitor any changes in their condition. Hypertension significantly increases the risk of developing stroke and cardiovascular pathologies.

Tension headache

A persistent and pronounced feeling of fullness in the head is often classified as an occupational disease. Tension headaches are typical for people engaged in mental work and those who are forced to remain in a position for a long time in which the neck muscles are tense. This leads to impaired blood circulation in the collar area, hypoxia of the brain, and its poisoning with toxins due to a failure of the outflow of venous blood. Soreness often occurs in the forehead or back of the head and gradually spreads along the entire perimeter of the skull. As a result, the patient feels as if he has a tight headdress or hoop on his head.

Stress

Another common cause of non-pathological cephalgia, which is characterized by pressing sensations. Anxiety leads to increased muscle tone and disruption of metabolic processes in the tissues of the neck and skull. The result is a tightening pain. It can occur in different areas of the head. Local manifestations gradually merge into more massive zones, but the severity of the symptom does not increase. This hoop-squeezing cephalalgia can be relieved by using relaxation techniques and taking sedatives.

Osteochondrosis

Due to a sedentary lifestyle, refusal physical activity and the action of a number of pathological causes changes the structure of cartilage in the cervical spine. This leads to a narrowing of the lumen of the channel through which large blood vessels and nerves.

The brain begins to experience oxygen deficiency and nutrients, and the veins cannot cope with the removal of blood saturated with toxins. As a result, a person feels compression of the head, which occurs in the back of the head and radiates to the crown. This is accompanied by stiffness in the movements of the upper shoulder girdle and a crunch in the neck when turning the head.

Weather changes with changes in atmospheric pressure

Dizziness, nausea, headache, weakness and general deterioration in health are typical for weather-sensitive people. The more abruptly the atmospheric pressure changes, the more pronounced their symptoms are. Sometimes the intensity of the manifestations is such that a person cannot do his usual activities.

Signs are poorly responsive to treatment medicines. They often develop suddenly and go away on their own within a few hours or days.

Human lifestyle

Alcohol abuse, smoking and refusal to get a good night's rest are factors that lead to a decrease in the functionality of cerebral vessels.

Additionally Negative influence the organ is exposed to toxins that the body does not have time to neutralize and remove. Pressing pain in the head is complemented by dizziness, muscle weakness, apathy and loss of appetite, nausea and fatigue, and sleep problems. Ignoring the signs and refusing to adjust your lifestyle can lead to the development of organic problems and chronic diseases.

Treatment

After the diagnosis of the disease has been made and the causes of cephalgia have been established, appropriate therapy is carried out. The list of treatment measures is established by the doctor. Even the use of funds traditional medicine It is better to consult with a specialist so as not to aggravate the situation or neutralize the effect of the medications.

Methods for eliminating the symptom depend on the factors that provoke it:

• for migraines, the doctor selects the optimal painkillers - triptans, ergotamines, analgesics, NSAIDs;
• in case of hypertension, it is necessary to reduce blood pressure to normal indicators– antihypertensive drugs, diuretics and herbs are used;
• headaches due to tension and stress are treated with massage, taking sedatives, physical therapy and, if necessary, antispasmodics;
• for hormonal problems, therapy is coordinated with an endocrinologist;
• one-time manifestations of cephalgia are relieved by taking NSAIDs, antispasmodics or analgesics;
• for osteochondrosis, massage and exercise therapy methods are used. Drug therapy is carried out aimed at relieving pain and restoring the structure of cartilage tissue.

Even if it seems that the cause of the headache is obvious, it is necessary to undergo a full diagnosis under the supervision of a specialist. It will confirm or refute suspicions, eliminate the risks of complications and the transition of an acute disease to a chronic one, and will identify concomitant diseases.

Preventing pressing headaches

Regular medical examinations and timely treatment of diseases will prevent you from encountering regular or prolonged attacks of pressing cephalalgia. Special attention Elderly people and people leading a sedentary lifestyle should pay attention to their condition.

Headache? Are your fingers going numb? To prevent a headache from turning into a stroke, drink a glass.

Effective prevention of pressing headaches:

• daily ventilation of working and living spaces;
• long walks in parks, which allow you to saturate the body with oxygen;
• introducing an age-appropriate level of intensity into an exercise regimen – while better time spend it in the fresh air, not in the gym;
• performing self-massage of the head and collar area when stiffness appears in the neck;
• full-fledged night sleep in the amount of 8-9 hours, refusal of daytime rest;
• prevention of stress, taking natural sedatives if necessary;
• quitting smoking, alcohol, and unhealthy foods that increase blood cholesterol levels.

The listed rules of prevention must be followed constantly, and not just when the first alarming symptoms appear. Additionally, it is worth strengthening the immune system by hardening the body and seasonal intake vitamin complexes. You should check your blood cholesterol levels at least twice a year, and measure your blood pressure at least once a week.

A situation where there is pressure on the head knocks you out of your usual rhythm, even in the absence of additional symptoms. A one-time occurrence of a problem indicates that you need to pay attention to your usual lifestyle and eliminate potentially dangerous factors. The systematic occurrence of a sign is a signal of the presence in the body serious problems and the need for specialized therapy.

• Do you suffer from occasional or regular headaches?
• Does it crush your head and eyes, or “hits you with a sledgehammer” on the back of your head or knocks in your temples?
• Do you sometimes feel nauseous and dizzy when you have a headache?
• Everything starts to irritate me, it becomes impossible to work!
• Do you take out your irritability on your loved ones and colleagues?

In the consultation section you can always get advice on your problem and ask questions that interest you. The consultation is led by Stanislav Leonidovich Pogrebnoy. Practicing physician, Neurologist. Work experience - 12 years. Employee of the Department of Neurology, Faculty of Advanced Training for Physicians, NSMU. Ask a doctor

Yawning cools the brain, and lack of normal sleep increases its temperature.

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Ask it to a practicing specialist and get a free professional consultation

A headache diary kept by the patient allows the doctor not only to clarify the diagnosis, but also to plan more rational treatment or adjust the therapy already being carried out.

The relationship between temple pain and blood pressure readings

Many people encounter such a nuisance as pain in the temples from time to time.

Often patients with this problem do not even go to the doctor, hoping that the unpleasant symptoms will go away on their own. But you can’t let the disease take its course.

Pain in the temples, which can radiate into the eyes, occurs due to the development of diseases or pressure changes. In order to take timely measures, you need to know what pressure a person has when his temples hurt.

To reduce blood pressure while preserving blood vessels, it is better to add it to tea in the morning before breakfast.

Causes of pain in the temples

A feeling of heaviness in the head and soreness in the eyes can occur even with a slight change in pressure.

Hypertension is one of the main causes of such symptoms. In this case, the pain is of a pressing nature.

Statistics show that almost 70% of people who have reached the age of 30 suffer from such pain. Every year the likelihood of these unpleasant symptoms is only getting stronger.

The consequences of hypertension are notorious. The patient experiences irreversible brain damage, problems with the heart and blood vessels. In severe stages, partial or complete loss of vision may occur, memory deteriorates, and intelligence decreases. In some cases, diseases caused by hypertension lead to disability or death.

If a sharp increase in pressure occurs, a hypertensive crisis occurs. Here are its main features:

• chest pain;
• temperature increase;
• darkness and blurred vision;
• nausea and sometimes vomiting;
• heavy sweating;
• noise in ears;
• feeling of anxiety and fear.

A symptom such as pressure in the temples may have other causes. Temporal pain is often caused by overwork, especially when a person sedentary work and he spends a lot of time at the computer. Those who constantly lack sleep may also be susceptible to this problem.

Another common cause is intoxication: when poisoned with alcohol or low-quality products, the temples begin to knock, nausea, vomiting, and abdominal pain appear.

If there was no poisoning and the person is resting normally, discomfort in the temple area may indicate the development of a particular disease.

For example, migraine is often a provoking factor. It is accompanied by nausea, fear of light and noise. The patient experiences floaters before the eyes, as well as increased sensitivity to certain smells and tastes.

When answering the question of when temples hurt and what pressure there may be, it is worth mentioning intracranial hypotension. This is a decrease in intracranial pressure, which, in addition to pain in the temples, can cause tinnitus and even decreased hearing.

Provoking factors

The occurrence of temporal pain is influenced by various factors. The disease can lie dormant in the human body, but become more active when the weather changes, stressful situations, changing time zones.

This often happens when there is a sudden change in diet, for example, when a person goes on a diet.

In addition, pain in the temples can be caused by uncontrolled use of medications, severe eye strain and a number of other factors. A tonometer will help tell you if there is pressure in your temples, what the pressure might be. Most often, pain in the temples occurs if blood pressure exceeds 140/90 Hg.

The frequency of occurrence of pain also has great importance. If the pain comes once a month and is quickly relieved with medications, there is no particular cause for concern. If it torments a person every day, and is also accompanied by nausea and other additional symptoms, this almost certainly indicates hypertension.

How to deal with temple pain

Methods for eliminating temporal pain depend on the cause that caused it. It is best to contact a neurologist with this question. If you have high blood pressure, select a suitable drug for hypertension: Capoten, Enalapril and their analogues. If you suffer from migraine, take Tempalgin or Antimigraine.

In cases where the symptoms are caused by a cerebrovascular accident, the patient is given Memoplant or Cavinton. Additionally, herbal medicine or physiotherapeutic methods, for example, exercise therapy or a contrast shower, can be used.

At high blood pressure Temporal pain is usually caused by vascular spasms. Vascular tone is affected by nervous disorders, as well as atherosclerotic changes. To improve the situation and relieve spasms as quickly as possible, the doctor may prescribe Papaverine, which is sometimes combined with Phenobarbital.

Often, for pain of this nature, Dibazol is effective, improving vascular tone and gently reducing blood pressure. Such a popular antispasmodic as No-shpa can also provide emergency assistance, but it will not eliminate the cause of temporal pain. Only a specialist can help you choose a drug that will be effective in the fight against the disease and will not cause harm.

Before seeing a doctor, you can try to help yourself. Here are some ways to help cope with temporal pain:

1. First of all, you can massage your temples index fingers at both sides. In addition, you can do acupressure with light circular movements over the entire head area;
2. If possible, you need to lie down for a couple of hours with your eyes closed. In this case, it is better to turn off the lights and ensure complete silence;
3. you can take a walk in the fresh air, while giving up the player and talking on the phone;
4. a good remedy for pain in the temples is warm tea with chamomile;
5. another proven method is a cold compress, which is applied to the forehead and temples;
6. If your condition allows, you can do a little exercise. Blood will begin to circulate better and the pain will go away faster;
7. for severe pain, you can apply a cut aloe leaf to your temple. At this time, it is better to lie down for about half an hour;
8. A remedy that helps relieve discomfort is an infusion of cinnamon. One dessert spoon of this spice is stirred in four tablespoons of water. Then you need to add sugar to taste and leave for half an hour. Drink this mixture a couple of sips every hour. In addition, it can be used as a compress.

Others folk remedies are hot foot baths that soothe and help relieve fatigue and pain. Valerian tincture, as well as decoctions of mint, oregano, and clover will help improve sleep. In a beautiful way Cranberry helps relieve attacks of pain. Compotes and fruit drinks made from this healing berry improve blood circulation and bring blood pressure back to normal.

Preventive measures

Frequent walks and exercise in the fresh air are very useful.

But watching TV and computer games It's better not to get carried away.

Smoking and drinking alcohol are factors that often provoke attacks of hypertension. In addition, it is necessary to reconsider the diet, giving preference dietary dishes, and coffee can be consumed no more than 1-2 cups per day.

Useful video

Five ways to quickly get rid of headaches:

If we talk about if there is pain in the temples, what kind of pressure a person has, we can conclude that more often it is elevated. However, temporal pain is a phenomenon that can be caused by many factors, so a full examination is necessary.

How to beat HYPERTENSION at home?

To get rid of hypertension and cleanse blood vessels, you need.

• Eliminates the causes of pressure disorders
• Normalizes blood pressure within 10 minutes after administration

Help me say in Spanish: “Don’t push where it hurts.” “don’t rub salt in my wound.”

It wouldn't be entirely correct if translated literally. Even more - most likely you will be taken literally:

No aprietes donde duele. No me eches la sal a la herida.

It would probably be better to use the phrases that the Spaniards themselves use, something like:

No me hagas daño (sufrir) - Don't hurt me (Don't make me suffer).

Tus hechos duelen tanto - Your actions bring so much pain.

Tu indiferencia me está matando - Your indifference is killing me.

Por favor, no abras de nuevo mis heridas - Please do not reopen my wounds.

“I love my boyfriend very much, but I can’t get rid of the feeling that he’s always on me presses. I get very tired and cry unnoticed. Maybe there is psychological violence in our relationship? How can we understand this?

Recently, “horror films” about quiet and inconspicuous “abusers” who gradually and secretly poison the life of an unsuspecting victim are increasingly appearing on the Internet. Involuntarily there is a desire to figure out what kind of animals these are - and how to properly treat them. It's not all that simple. Starting from the concept itself and ending with the complex relationship between the abuser and the victim.

To the question asked to us on VKontakte, we asked sexologist Yuri Prokopenko, psychiatrist and narcologist Valentina Moskalenko and family psychologist Boris Novoderzhkin to answer.

Childhood trauma

“If people in adult relationships commit violence against each other - emotional, intellectual, sexual or physical (already like an apotheosis), - the reasons should always be sought in childhood, in the parental family,” says psychotherapist, psychiatrist, and narcologist Valentina Moskalenko. - Most likely, the offender had a negative experience at an early age, which is why he now broadcasts symmetrical behavior.

We often see examples of emotional abuse of a child, when parents allow themselves certain feelings, but forbid their children. For example, to be angry. A child cannot shout back at his parents. But not only destructive feelings, but also positive ones are often prohibited. Everyone is familiar with the phrase “You’re having too much fun, so you don’t have to cry later.” In this way, a certain channel of feelings is actually blocked. Or an example of intellectual violence: “You shouldn’t think like that, it’s wrong, but it’s only right the way I think, because I’m smarter.”

Sexual abuse is generally a very difficult aspect of relationships. If the fact of rape itself is obvious and understandable, then a sexual life distorted in a different way is not always a transparent trauma. There are a lot of subtle, almost indistinguishable shades. And the range of such insults is truly enormous. From the ban on going on dates (“How do I know who you got involved with?”) to complete lack of sexual development. One of my clients, for example, recalled that before every date he went on a date, his mother said that she had a headache. The guilt complex resulted in the inharmonious development of the young man in the context of gender relations.

Psychological violence always has roots and consequences

All these restrictions and traumas in childhood and adolescence subsequently affect family life adults. This also includes psychological violence. The result is dysfunctional families. That is, families that “do not work” are not harmonious and have not taken place. Psychological violence, therefore, is never isolated; it always has roots and consequences.”

Mutual provocations

“It is important to understand that violence is present in our lives always and everywhere. You would also like not to go to work, right? But I want to eat. And off you go. Through force. Experiencing that same psychological violence, says sexologist Yuri Prokopenko. - It just so happened that the whole world is built on violence (and not only the human world, take natural selection). And if we approach the problem completely unemotionally, then we can safely say that the entire puberty, the entire age of puberty and personality formation, passes under the yoke of psychological violence.
At the same time, psychological violence can even be perceived with delight. Imagine a young couple who have just gotten married. They are on their honeymoon, they are happy, but at the same time there is a process of getting used to it. What is this if not methodical violence against oneself and another person? I'm used to putting socks in a pile by my bed all week, but you try to wash every pair every day. And each of us tries to change the other person by putting pressure on him. It turns out that I change as a result of violence. And the more different two people’s positions are, the higher the level of mutual psychological violence.

The more different two people’s positions are, the higher the level of mutual psychological violence

Moreover: most often, both participants in the process mutually provoke each other to violence. As a rule, provocative behavior is characteristic of infantile or hysterical individuals. With their provocations they want to attract attention to themselves, like small children with disobedience. But indulging in provocations is, in a sense, also aggression. Well, for example:

“I had to hit her with a frying pan because she kept me awake with her conversations at three in the morning. - And you? Why did you keep talking? - I didn’t think that he wanted to sleep, he was interjecting remarks. - That is, he still reacted. And who provoked whom in the end?”
“In most cases, psychological violence is not at all one-sided “trolling” and “gnobism,” confirms family psychologist Boris Novoderzhkin. - This is a mutual provocation based on the manipulation of guilt. He left her, she calls him: “Come, I can’t live without you!” - and he arrives. The next time he refuses to come, she begins to threaten him with cutting her wrists. And he comes again, and so on until one day she actually cuts her wrists, and he does not have time to arrive.

Psychological violence is almost always tied to feelings of guilt

But who is the rapist in this situation? In fact, both are rapists. As soon as you agree to the blackmailer’s terms, you provoke with your reaction increased blackmail. In the end, they both turn out to be rapists. Psychological violence in general is an extremely paradoxical thing, and almost always tied to a feeling of guilt. Another example. A person feels guilty for not being able to stand up for himself, and gets worked up until his auto-aggression breaks out, and not always adequately to the situation. When he realizes this, he will again begin to feel guilty, and so on in a circle. Therefore, when you see that they are putting pressure on you, it is better to just step aside.”

Repeating patterns

“In an established couple, psychological violence, as a rule, manifests itself in an old conflict,” continues Yuriy Prokopenko. - That is, the same topic is repeated over and over again. In this case, the reason can be anything: from politics to the question of whether to break an egg with a blunt or sharp end. It could be the same socks (let's say I defended my right to keep them under my pillow all week, but you still secretly steal them for regular washing: that's the pressure building). All this results in family disharmony when people cannot find mutual language. This situation is perceived by both sides as violence.”

Violation of personal boundaries

“Violence is something that goes beyond the range of my acceptability,” Prokopenko claims. - Everyone has their own views on life. Someone has a great attitude towards his dad and mom, who beat him with a belt until he was 16 years old. But even then he did not pay attention to what they did to him, and now he does not pay attention to what he himself does to other people. The other withdraws into himself or gives a sharp response if he only assumes that his freedom may be limited. As a rule, these are the same hysterics. Thus, each person must decide for himself whether the limits of his acceptability have been violated. And if these violations occur regularly, despite your objections (“What do you want? Of course, I will behave like this again if you don’t understand the first time”), this can be seen as signs of serious psychological violence.”

Acute or chronic stress

“You can often hear the term “toxic relationship” these days. And although it is not used in psychological practice, it is still very convex and voluminous, says Yuriy Prokopenko. - With its help it is easy to draw analogies with poisoning. The point is that a person always knows when he has been poisoned. He feels bad. He has a headache, stomach, and liver pain. He can easily diagnose his condition. Of course, in psychology everything is more complicated, but still, poor emotional well-being is the surest sign that violence is being committed against a person.

When I feel under the gun, when I feel unpleasant that I am being forced to do something, to give up something, when I am instilled with unusual behavior, views on life, morality, when all this goes against my nature, I begin to feel completely obvious ailments. I feel myself in a state of acute or chronic stress. My condition could even reach the point of neurosis, clinical depression, even suicide.”

Personality damage

“We all understand that physical violence can be assessed - even its degrees (beatings, moderate and severe injuries, etc.). All this is material, visible and clearly stated in the Criminal Code. Obviously, with psychological violence there are no such criteria and cannot be. A person must assess for himself whether he is being subjected to psychological violence. To do this, he must ask himself a series of questions. How comfortable is he in the relationship? How accomplished does he feel? To what extent does he feel that he is realizing or not realizing himself in them? Perhaps we shouldn’t exaggerate the scale of the disaster? And most importantly: does he believe that his personality was damaged as a result of certain relationships and psychological pressure?

Let's say: before I looked at girls lightly and lovingly, but now I know that they are all bitches, I want to harm them, and this change occurred during and as a result of three years of marriage. If the personality is damaged, violence occurs. Another thing is that not every person can give himself such an assessment without the help of a specialist. And in most cases, people simply don’t think about it.”
There are two ways to deal with psychological violence: either change the situation itself, or change the assessment of the situation. Either change the relationship, or change the victim’s attitude towards violence. And here we need serious and long work with a couple, with complexes of both the victim and the rapist. And this is a completely different story.

Thank you for reading to the end!

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Photo: Alexey Vitvitsky
In cramped conditions, but not in offence.

Which insult is more offensive - “Moskal”, “cheburek” or “beast”?

Unidentified people planted pigs' heads at the monument to Akhmat Kadyrov in South Butovo; the police have already opened a case under the article "inciting ethnic hatred." This was a deliberate attack against Muslims, but often you can insult a person simply out of ignorance.

“Every nation and every religion has its own sore spot that should not be stepped on,” I am sure Alexander Brod, director of the Moscow Bureau for Human Rights. - For Muslims and Jewish believers, a pig is an unclean animal, so the prank in South Butovo is a clear mockery of Islam. By the way, I know of many cases when pigs’ heads were also planted in Jewish cemeteries and synagogues. Orthodox believers react very sharply to such attacks and, expressing their indignation at what happened, are capable of sharp retaliatory actions. For example, in Israel the Sabbath is strictly observed, and the car of a person who drove into an Orthodox area at this time may simply be stoned for daring to drive on such a day. But when it comes to communication between people on Moscow streets, no shouts or gestures, or offensive actions should be a reason for a fight. All conflicts must be resolved in court. In addition, it is necessary to talk about the “sore spots” of the main faiths and nationalities already in school course history of religions. A few years ago, the Public Chamber of the Russian Federation distributed a memo “How to take into account the religious factor” among police officers, so that they would at least roughly understand what Orthodoxy, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism are and, out of ignorance, would not add fuel to the fire when sorting out conflicts. By the way, it is precisely our general disbelief in the honest and conscientious work of law enforcement officers and in the fact that by demanding something you can achieve results, which leads to the fact that, even while abroad, we, having received an insult on a national or religious basis, are more likely to We’ll get into a fight rather than ask for help from the authorities.”

By the way, many Russians, flying with Western airlines, paid attention to multi-confessional dinners. But the menu only includes kosher dishes or those that are usually served during Muslim holidays. Fasting Orthodox Christians have nothing to look for there. Why such attention to others? According to representatives of one of the leading European airlines, passengers achieved this with numerous complaints, in which we do not believe. Same Lenten menu happens in expensive restaurants in the capital and in... the State Duma canteen. Due to the lack of such dishes, other establishments can be sued or the “Book of Complaints and Suggestions” filled with relevant requests. What's the point?!

Meanwhile, some are inflating any actions into a scandal. For example, recently footballer Roberto Carlos (captain of the Russian club Anzhi) left a match when a banana was thrown at his feet. Usually such gifts are “thrown” at African Americans, but here it went to a Brazilian. Fans of the football player wrote in their Internet blogs that it is stupid to react to fools with bananas, because otherwise...

you will have to be insulted continuously. The club's fans went hysterical, forgetting about the 2002 incident involving the same Carlos. Then, according to Jose Chilavert (the goalkeeper of the Paraguayan national team), Carlos called him a stupid, dirty Indian, for which he received a spit in the face.

What should we be offended by? After the “Orange Revolution” in Ukraine, T-shirts with inscriptions like “Muscovites do not swear. They talk in it.” “The word “Moskal” is in Ukrainian, Polish, and Belarusian languages ​​and has an ironic or disparaging connotation,” explains Vladimir Elistratov, professor at Moscow State University. Lomonosov. “But to be demonstrably offended by this is stupid, and not in our traditions.” Every nation has a division into friends and foes. For example, the gypsies call everyone else "gadjo", the Chinese call any European "gadjo". best case scenario big-nosed, and wanting to insult, they say “laowai” (translated as “bearded old man from the outskirts”). The Europeans answer them - “narrow-eyed”. IN Soviet times All inhabitants of the southern territories were labeled as “animals”, “chocks”, even “Indians”. Uzbeks are remade into “chebureks”, Caucasians are called “children of the mountains”. Muslims, in the heat of a quarrel, call Russians, as well as representatives of many other nationalities, pigs. And any word can receive the status of a terrible abuse that incites ethnic hatred. If no one tries to warm their hands on this, the word is easily washed away from its negative connotation. By the way, in Russian cities for centuries they not only called foreigners names, without understanding what nationality they were, but also each other: Muscovites were ridiculed for being akanye, residents of Ryazan for being okaniye. And so on ad infinitum."

Perhaps peaceful coexistence in multinational Moscow is possible without knowledge of the basics of different religions and customs? Is it enough to simply treat people who are different from you with respect? “All calls that Russians need to be more sensitive to other peoples so as not to incite ethnic hatred are demagoguery,” I am sure historian Alexey Baykov. - Because many conflicts only look like national ones, but in fact they are social. The division is not along the line between Russian and Chechen, but along the line of Russian socially unprotected strata against the Caucasian golden youth, who, at best, engage in petty hooliganism in Moscow, officially being listed as students of leading universities. Children from good Caucasian families, coming to the capital, are not interested in idly wandering around the city center and bullying the locals. Their goal is to learn, find a highly paid legal work. After the killers of Yegor Sviridov were sent home, not only nationalists and football fans came to Manezhka. Among the protesters were residents of other regions of Russia who want to live according to the same rules for everyone.” Maybe true tolerance is when everyone is ready to answer before the law for their actions, and not hide behind customs and faith?