The concept of modesty. What is modesty

Friday, 13 Feb 2015

Modest - moderate in all demands, humble; meek and undemanding of himself; not putting his personality first, not dreaming about himself; decent, quiet to use.
Explanatory Dictionary of the Russian Language by Vladimir Dahl

Modesty is the absence of desire for luxury; For a modest person, little is enough for comfort.
Modesty is the absence of the intention to exalt oneself; a modest person is sincerely interested in others no less, and often more than in himself.
Modesty is respect for the norms of morality and morality accepted in society.
Modesty is the willingness to recognize and respect the strengths of others.

The benefits of modesty

Modesty gives freedom - from self-confidence and vanity.
Modesty makes it possible to learn from the people around you, adopting their best qualities.
Modesty ensures independence - from excessive comfort and luxury.
Modesty provides an incentive to achieve more; a modest person believes that before people appreciate him as a person, he must achieve results in his business.

Expressions of modesty in everyday life

Hearing. A person who loves and knows how to listen to his interlocutor with sincere interest is modest.
Concessions. By yielding in ordinary everyday situations, a person shows modesty and respect for others.
Charity. A person who does charity and does not advertise it demonstrates a number of virtues; modesty is one of them.
Family education. By instilling in a child a sincere interest in the people around him and suppressing manifestations of selfishness, parents instill modesty in him.

How to achieve modesty

Modesty is largely the result of upbringing and the result of a person’s internal work on himself. Modesty is controllable by a person, and it can be cultivated in oneself, avoiding vanity in every possible way.
Relationships with family. By showing respect and reverence for elders, interest in equals and concern for juniors, a person develops modesty.
Interest in the people around you. A modest person is genuinely interested in those around him; each of them has something to learn. By being interested in people and not sticking out one’s own self, a person learns modesty.
Help those in need. By helping those who need it, and not expecting a return in the form of fame, a person shows modesty.
Forbearance towards mistakes. A modest person does not boast of education and does not point out to others their mistakes; be it ignorance of some literary quotation or the wrong choice of cutlery for eating fish.

Golden mean
Vanity, arrogance | complete lack of modesty
Modesty
Self-deprecation | modesty elevated to absolute, the other side of pride
Catchphrases about modesty

Excessive modesty is nothing more than hidden pride.
- A. Chenier -

One must beware of taking modesty to the point of humiliation.
- A. Bakikhanov -

Achieve modesty if you want to achieve wisdom. Increase modesty if you have already achieved wisdom.
- E.P. Blavatsky -

Be modest - this is the kind of pride that least irritates others.
- Jules Renard -

Venerable Macarius of Optina / Letters of Venerable Macarius of Optina. About humility, self-reproach and patience of sorrows
During his lifetime, the Venerable Optina Elder Macarius was an example of special modesty and humility. And his letters to the laity are imbued with the same spirit of acquiring true Christian virtues.
Fyodor Dostoevsky / Poor people
Dostoevsky’s novel “Poor People” is interesting not so much for its social pathos as for its vivid image of the modest official Makar Devushkin, which the author managed to reveal in all the beauty and nobility of his soul, using the form of correspondence between the hero and his beloved.

From view its relationship to others and to itself and manifested in the fact that a person does not recognize any exceptional advantages or special rights, voluntarily submits himself to the requirements of social discipline, limits his own needs in accordance with the material conditions of life of the people existing in a given society, refers to respects all people, shows respect for minor shortcomings of people, if these shortcomings affect only his own interests, and at the same time is critical of his own merits and shortcomings. S. is a form of a person’s awareness of his responsibilities to society and the people around him. A modest person does not attach much importance to his positive qualities because he considers them completely obligatory and self-evident. This is especially true for people who have truly exceptional virtues, e.g. for those who voluntarily dedicated their lives to serving humanity. “Modesty crowns all virtues”, “Modesty adorns the hero” - these sayings, which have a long history, contain the meaning that true life consists not in the desire for glory, but in free activity for humanity. The lives of the leaders of the working class K. Marx, F. Engels and V. I. Lenin were examples of the greatest modesty. “...Out of disgust for any cult of personality,” wrote K. Marx, “I... did not allow numerous appeals in which my merits were recognized to be made public...” (vol. 34, p. 241). V.I. Lenin pointed out that excessive self-confidence, intolerance towards comrades, and capriciousness are completely unacceptable for a party leader. Socialism in public and personal life is one of the requirements of communist morality.

Dictionary of ethics. - M.: Politizdat. Ed. I. Kona. 1981.

See what “MOSTY” is in other dictionaries:

modesty- Modesty... Dictionary of Russian synonyms

MODESTY- HUMILITY, modesty, plural. no, female 1. abstract noun to modest. Modesty of character. Modesty of behavior. Modesty of earnings. 2. Modest behavior, modest way of acting and thinking. “...It is not arrogance, but modesty that adorns a Bolshevik.” Stalin... ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

MODESTY- this is a way to hear from others all the good things that we think about ourselves. Lawrence Peter The best decoration for a girl is modesty and a transparent dress. Evgeniy Schwartz People who are unremarkable are, of course, right when they preach modesty. It's so easy for them... Consolidated encyclopedia of aphorisms

modesty- Cm … Synonym dictionary

modesty- Modesty suits everyone; A modest person does not appreciate his own merits (Dahl Dictionary). Modesty in communication is expressed in the absence of boasting, swagger, restraint of expressions, judgments, and rare requests, and requests... ... Culture of speech communication: Ethics. Pragmatics. Psychology

modesty- HUMILITY, artlessness, artlessness, unpretentiousness, unpretentiousness, simplicity HUMBLE, colloquial. modesty HUMBLE, simple-minded, unwise, unpretentious, unpretentious, simple, simple, unpretentious. simple HUMBLE,… … Dictionary-thesaurus of synonyms of Russian speech

modesty- HUMBLE, oh, oh; men, me, many, mnShy and me. Ozhegov's explanatory dictionary. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 … Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

modesty- Modesty decorates, but leaves you hungry... Original dictionary selection of aphorisms

Modesty- Cupid, William Bouguereau, 1875; the edge of the wing bashfully covers the genitals. Modesty is a character trait of a person, expressed in the following: moderation in all demands; not the desire for wealth and r... Wikipedia

modesty- great modesty excessive modesty exceptional modesty extraordinary modesty amazing modesty rare modesty amazing modesty ... Dictionary of Russian Idioms

Modesty- (from krom “border”, cf. edge; literally meant “limitedness”) - moderation in all desires, meekness and undemanding attitude towards oneself, lack of arrogance, lack of boastfulness. Possible manifestations are a quiet voice, restrained body movements,... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology and Pedagogy

Books

• Millionaires are decorated with modesty, Inna Vladimirovna Pavlova. Love, death and money rule the world. An attractive Muscovite, who imprudently decided to sunbathe at a prestigious resort, had to verify this from her own experience. Such a vacation for the enemy...

Modesty suits everyone; A modest person does not appreciate his own merits (Dahl Dictionary). Modesty in communication is expressed in the absence of boasting, swagger, restraint of expressions, judgments, and rare requests, and requests should be of a moderate nature. You also need to respond to pleasant or flattering words in a civilized manner and, accordingly, if you can, then in an unconventional way. So, to an enthusiastic statement about the qualities of your mind, your soul, you can respond with the words of a character from a French film: “Thank you. The compliment, although undeserved, is pleasant.” It could be simpler: “I’m afraid that it just seemed like that to you,” “I don’t know how true this is,” “What a pity that this is not true!”, “This is, of course, an exaggeration!” “It’s hard for me to believe this,” “I wish it were as you said!” Any response to praise must show humility.

If speeches are made in your honor on the occasion of a birthday, etc., then, taking the floor after all the greetings, thank everyone immediately for their kind and warm words, hint that you are hardly worthy of all the praise they have received (“ritual” moment of modesty) and be sure to say something pleasant about those gathered: that you are glad to see them all on this important day for you, that with their presence they made it unique, unforgettable, and made you happy, etc.

Do you want people to talk well about you? Don't say good things about yourself (B. Pascal).

Modesty

from chrome “border”, cf. edge; literally meant “limitedness”) - moderation in all desires, meekness and undemanding attitude towards oneself, lack of arrogance, lack of boastfulness. Possible manifestations are a quiet voice, restrained body movements, sitting on the edge of the chair. The typical reaction is positive.

Modesty in general is the fear that we will not please others, and blushing at our imperfections (H. Ellis, Studies in Sexual Psychology).

Modesty is a sign of sexual emotion, an expression of the female sexual erotic impulse (ibid.).

In ancient Greece, out of modesty, some women washed with their clothes on. In Western European painting, modesty was depicted as a young woman dressed in white and covered with a veil, without any. jewelry other than your hair; her eyes are fixed on the ground, and her clothes cover her entirely. Wed. bashfulness, shyness.

In psychology, modesty is understood as a moral quality, which shows the attitude of an individual towards himself and others. She is not characterized by arrogance or boasting, and with others she behaves the same way with everyone, even if there is a reason for pride. The basis of this quality is positive, but there are negative examples of modesty.

What is modesty

Let's look at the concept of modesty in more detail. The term “modest” has existed in our language since the 17th century. It means humble, moderate, meek and undemanding. This is someone who does not put his own personality above others.

Modesty due to cowardice or lack of self-confidence is a problem for the individual himself. An overly modest or inappropriately modest girl may remain alone forever. But on the other hand, the lack of this quality, selfishness and showing oneself to the detriment of others creates considerable problems.

Modesty and Shyness

A person acquires most of the qualities that are inherent in a person in infancy, and some before birth. Scientists' analyzes say that in the womb we are able to hear not only the conversations of mom and dad, but also capture the mother's thoughts. If a child feels that he is desired, then in the future he will grow up confident in his own abilities. If during pregnancy the mother does not love the child, then he has every chance of growing up as a person without and.

It is worth noting that modesty and shyness are different concepts.

Manifestation of lack of faith in one’s own abilities, fear of not being liked. This quality interferes at first in childhood, but if the child is not helped, then in adulthood he will be afraid to set goals and achieve them.

Modesty is an indicator of the upbringing of a confident person. A person knows his strengths very well, but does not flaunt them. Therefore, it is believed that modesty is an adornment.

So, after all, is modesty an adornment for a person or a burden for him? The uniqueness of each individual is undeniable. Based on this, it turns out that life principles, character, and set of habits are unique in everyone.

We are similar to each other, but we are different, like snowflakes and fingerprints. For one person something is good, but for another it is the opposite. Based on this, it is difficult to say for sure whether it is better to remain modest or, on the contrary, to do everything for show.

Probably everyone will remember a situation in life when the arrogant behavior of another person humiliated their dignity or offended them, causing outrage. This behavior causes negative emotions. Similar feelings arise when we see unbridled behavior, etc.

Now imagine a girl who, embarrassed, lowers her gaze. Or a man who gives way, offers his hand. Good manners, modesty and respect are almost synonymous concepts. You can remain a modest person, but confident. And it is these individuals who are able to achieve what they want.

Modesty in Religion

All religious movements call on people to be simple, humble, and to make do with little. The desire for pleasure, in any of its manifestations, has never been welcomed by religions. On the contrary, it is generally accepted that giving up such pleasures will cleanse the body and soul and bring them closer to spiritual benefits.

The opposite of modesty in the religious understanding is pride. This is a sin because it does not allow the individual to show forgiveness, compassion, and humility. Even Christ himself washed the feet of his own disciples. There is a hidden importance in this action that is not immediately noticeable. Hidden here is not just the meaning of renouncing superiority, but also the sacrament of purifying the soul.

Pros of modesty

Let's consider the pros and cons of such a quality as modesty. Let's start with the positive side.

Usually, modesty is inherent in girls because this quality is characteristic of them; it is a decisive factor in creating character. Modest girls have always been an example of femininity. This quality was considered an indicator of manners, politeness, and education. From childhood, girls were taught rules, etiquette, and good manners in schools. Initially, they were instilled with modesty.

Nowadays, modesty does not have such a high value, but it has not gone unnoticed. It is easier to communicate with such people; they are not rude or offend people. At the same time, we are always ready to help and support. These people do not exalt themselves above others; they maintain some distance. Such a person is unlikely to be able to ask you for anything, but he will gladly fulfill your requests, even to his own detriment.

Modest individuals rarely become the center of intrigue or gossip; rumors do not circulate about them. If you do not like to be in the center of the company, you are an altruist, then modesty is your quality.

Disadvantages of modesty

But not everyone is sure that modesty should be considered a positive personality trait. Some consider this particular trait to be the reason for unluckiness, because modesty is the main disadvantage of a modern person.

But in reality, what does the world know about humble individuals? Nothing. None of the famous people can be called modest or insecure. Based on this, it is concluded that modesty is not required to achieve heights and prosperity. But this is not the entire list of disadvantages. Modesty becomes the cause of failures on the personal front.

According to statistics, most men prefer modest girls, but in practice everything is different. Modesty interests a representative of the stronger sex only in the initial stages, when it acts as a mystery. But if it does not go away with the development of the relationship, then the man loses interest and switches to more relaxed representatives of the fairer sex.

It turns out that due to excessive modesty, a girl can lose her chance and be left alone. This quality is a hindrance not only on the personal front, but in building a career. Moving up when you do all the work for yourself and your colleagues and do not try to get a salary increase becomes impossible.

Humble individuals never desire leadership. What they have is enough for them; they do not try to improve their lives. It is worth saying that there are enough arguments against modesty to force you to reconsider your own attitude towards this trait. Modesty takes on negative traits if:

is on display. This approach is often used by insecure people. The one who demonstrates his own shyness and modesty achieves praise. Such actions are called false modesty;
natural modesty is called a positive quality, if it did not become the cause of complexes. Often excessive modesty and lack of self-confidence become a real problem. They do not allow the personality to develop.

The reason for excessive modesty, as psychologists are sure, can be the following factors:

genetic. Researchers claim that there is a gene for shyness. From the moment of birth, it is noticeable in individuals with an unstable nervous system;
upbringing. The wrong approach to education and lack of communication skills become constraining for a person, they force him to become overly shy;
childhood trauma. Due to the shock that a person experienced at an early age, many qualities can suffer, so modesty is not an exception.

How to get rid of modesty

There are several options for answering the question of how to get rid of modesty. One of them involves character building, training and special classes. Another is to seek support from a specialist. For self-training of character, the following recommendations are suitable:

If you want to do or say something, do it, even if the words or actions turn out to be stupid.
Communicate with others more often. You should not refuse a possible meeting with classmates, classmates, colleagues or friends. Remember, in childhood, modesty does not interfere with communication.
Stop tormenting yourself with reproaches for failing at something. On the contrary, celebrate what you did well. Think about how to fix what doesn't work.
Use the “casual acquaintance” training. To do this, come to a place where there are a lot of people and try to meet and communicate with complete strangers.

If the above methods do not help, then you need to seek professional psychological help. The expert will conduct all the required diagnostic tests, and if necessary, develop an action plan and tell you how to overcome modesty.

But it is necessary to fight this personal quality only when it becomes excessive. With moderate modesty, be proud of this feeling, remember that it is a person’s adornment.

The accelerated pace of life and tightening rules of survival force people to adapt to the modern world. Some qualities that were previously considered a stable advantage for a person have now begun to act as a hindrance. These include such a character trait as modesty. It cannot be called a definitely negative or positive quality.

What is meant by modesty?

Modesty is a collective concept that includes several interpretations, depending on the situation. Directories define it as the ability to restrain oneself and one’s needs within certain limits, always remaining calm. Modesty means moderation in all areas of human activity.

In a collective interpretation, modesty includes:

• moderation;
• lack of craving for excess;
• complete renunciation of the desire to show oneself, to control someone, to flaunt one’s skills and abilities;
• full compliance with the framework of decency that is prescribed by certain moral principles;
• calmness, decency in communication with other people;
• humility, obedience;
• shyness.

Timidity is often referred to as shyness, but this is not entirely true. The first is the result of upbringing, the imposition of strong attitudes and clear rules, and the second manifests itself unintentionally, as an innate feature of the personality structure.

Modesty is an acquired habit, or rather a set of reflexes that determine the behavioral line in a given situation. This trait is a component of an adaptive behavior model that allows one to integrate into any society without attracting unnecessary attention.

In many sets of etiquette rules, exposing yourself in any way is considered bad form. But today this quality is unlikely to be too useful if used to its fullest. A modest person may not boast about his virtues not only because he is noble or does not consider his achievements to be something unique, but because he waits for others to present him correctly.

Shyness is not always beneficial

Modesty is neither a character trait nor a part of temperament. This is a deliberate underestimation of one’s abilities, hiding them from everyone’s attention, obedience to please certain people. The goals of such a behavioral response can be very different.

How does a timid personality manifest itself?

A modest person and his “positivity” is a stereotype imposed for centuries by those who were in high ranks, the church and other authorities. It is worth paying attention to the purpose for which timidity was promoted and continues to be done. The superiors need to keep the masses of people in fear and obedience. This is a psychological move that, over many years, sets boundaries in the subconscious that are then difficult to cross.

If we take an example from the times of serfdom, the servants had to be well-trained and obedient, but the owners were by no means modest people. Not a single poet, writer, musician, singer, artist, politician could achieve a position in society and recognition of his talent, being a timid person.

A modest person is essentially a hypocrite. He is not able to say what he thinks, because he is accustomed to say only the necessary things, pronounce memorized phrases, and be more interested in the person of the interlocutor than in himself. Many modest people even follow the rules, knowing full well that they will be accepted in a certain society and presented in the right light.

Shyness leads to personality degradation. The individual is not able to develop normally spiritually, sexually, or learn. A modest individual will not be able to occupy a leading position, because according to all rules of decency he should not be subject to such sinful thoughts. There is also no need for a modest person to get an education - it is impossible to show off one’s talents.

In terms of communication with the opposite sex, a modest person also adheres to certain attitudes. If at first this excites the mind of the other half, then over time nothing changes, the spouse remains a cold statue. But everyone has their own needs for love and affection.

No progress is expected in the work either. While the humble guy helps his neighbor, the more adroit employee is already moving up the career ladder. By denying himself simple everyday trifles, following imposed attitudes, without developing, a timid person dooms his children to this. He is building a zombie society that does not try to stand out, but blindly follows the ruler into the pit, meekly submitting to his will, because it is right.

Shy people have a harder time moving up the career ladder

When does timidity form?

They talk about modesty differently if it developed from shyness. In this state of affairs, a person develops a fear of people. By the age of 2, many children become shy, hide behind their mother’s skirt, and lower their gaze at the sight of an unfamiliar person. It looks cute, but without proper correction, this behavior, and most importantly the reaction that provokes it, becomes the norm and significantly reduces the quality of life of an adult.

For such a person, talking with an unfamiliar person causes fear. She is afraid of saying or doing something wrong. The main cause of anxiety is the fear of being ridiculed by other people. This character trait is called false modesty. Due to constant fear, a person is in nervous tension, which leads to various mental disorders and physiological abnormalities.

Where to look for the origins of modesty

Modesty, downtroddenness, shyness, fear originate from childhood. Children are like a blank sheet of paper. They don’t know how to show their emotions correctly and don’t know how to manage them. Behavioral reactions to stimuli from the outside world are shaped by parents. By forcing a child to conform to the canons of society, we often forget that he is an individual. Just remember how in hospitals mothers are told that they must have 10 teeth per year, the child must know a certain number of words and no less, etc. And most importantly, the word “should” is everywhere.

Remember that the baby does not owe anything to anyone. It is those around you who must set an example of correct behavior. Each child is a bright, positive individual who does not think in stereotypes. By being excessively rude, indulging whims, and violently forcing people to do things that don’t work out, we kill the personality in children, fitting them into a general framework from which falsely modest individuals can never escape.

A humble person is comfortable with others. There are no problems with him, he doesn’t ask unnecessary questions, he is delicate and courteous, he always presents his help on a silver platter. But timid people are unhappy; they do not have the opportunity to move, improve and grow spiritually. Without being in harmony with oneself, a person gradually collapses as a person.

Modesty can lead to a negative emotional state

How to eliminate modesty

The character quality of modesty must be eradicated. You cannot live to please other people. It is a natural state for a person to be adequately selfish and do everything for himself and to improve his future. When communicating with people, an adequate person understands perfectly well that by providing, for example, his financial assistance, he will then receive something in return (not to be confused with selfless help in emergency situations). This may apply to tangible and intangible assets. A modest person refuses any manifestation of himself. He only gives, but receives nothing in return.

1. The first thing a modest person needs to do is think about his desires and aspirations. Learn to express your point of view and refuse people. Always helping everyone, you often end up losing, justifying it with your modesty.
2. Do what interests you. Your well-being will never become stable if you do not begin to realize yourself. A person strives with all his nature for a meaningful life, so he searches for himself, but a modest person has no need for this - he will be useful anywhere, he doesn’t care. Sign up for an acting class for beginners or a poetry club.
3. Express yourself with creative ideas. Share your achievements on social networks. Exchange experiences with other users. Gradually reach a new level, trying to promote works to exhibitions of emerging artists. This will give you confidence.