Funny statuses about work. Statuses about work

Keeping something a secret is a very difficult job for a woman, so they prefer to do it together with their girlfriends.

Selfishness is a great force. Only he is able to force a person to devote himself entirely to work in order to achieve pleasure, while it is not at all necessary that he has ever experienced it.

Admit it honestly: surely everyone in their life has drawn a heart at least once by breathing on cold glass?

If you don't want to leave the house in the morning, read Forbes... Didn't find any articles about yourself? Then run to work, damn it!

Best status:
By doing anything in the workplace other than work, you develop attention and peripheral vision!

Fire, water and people busy with work- this is a magnificent sight! I could look at this all my life!

Only a small part of people can afford not to go to work in the morning! If Forbes magazine doesn't write about you, then you're not one of them, so don't fucking sleep until lunch!

If you don't raise my salary, you'll force me to look for extra work! For example, I can write memoirs about our relationship with YOU!

- When will the money be available? – They promised November 31st. - Very shitty! - Well, they won’t succeed before. – Yes, it’s not a matter of earlier or later. November has 30 days!

Work, work, go to Fedot, from Fedot to Yakov, from Yakov to everyone. Salary, salary come from Kondrat, come from Yakov, come from everyone...

Going to work means money.

Don't @beat my brains out! It won’t work - I’m wearing a helmet!!!

The working day is divided into “before lunch” and “before leaving”.

I know what falling in love is: a dream without nightmares, tender kisses, a magical mood around the clock, abandoned work, forgotten affairs, light ahead of the tunnel and exercise in the morning...

The longest end is at the working day.

Why work if you have no time to rest?

If you quit, what will you live on? If you work, then when will you live?

The street is the path from the home computer to the work one.

If the boss comes up with a brilliant idea, then someone will spend the whole day doing crap.

Even an engineer can't work without a plan!

I love work. Work captivates me. I can sit for hours and watch how they work.

The socks have the hardest job... They really are on their feet all day!

It used to be like this…morning, sun, joy, you, evening, dreams, night, stars, dreams….now only…morning, fog, work, coffee, sadness….night, dreams…and no dreams….

Everything that is not made is done in China =)

The more expensive the purchases, the cheaper the fate! (“Men’s work”)

In the store: Do you have black paint? - Eat. – What color??

Work is work, go to Fedot: washing for Irka, ironing for Masha, cooking for Vovka, and I get a trip to the sea!

Lunch break in our office is crucial moment day. No one works before lunch, and after lunch everyone rests.

Wallpaper must be glued without bubbles - Article 1 of the Constitution of Moldova...

On a working day, nothing brightens up the dial like the number 18.

waiting for Monday is harder for me than Monday itself

I’ll get rid of my work colleagues, quickly, not expensively…. Do not offer humane methods!

Heaven is that place on earth where there are no alarm clocks, Mondays and bosses.

Work...don't be afraid...I won't touch you!

Don't interfere! Work break!

The main thing is not work... The main thing is participation.

If work means health, then let the sick work.

We all work according to the Robinson Crusoe method - we are waiting for Friday!

For a horseshoe to bring happiness, you have to work hard like a horse.

I do not join any organizations that make me a member

it's time to go on vacation...yesterday I dreamed that salaries were given in pieces of paper for 512 rubles

Yesterday I was looking for justice - today I’m looking for a job.

We know our worth well. It is always higher than our salary!

“It doesn’t annoy you when you wash dishes and the spoon gets caught in the stream... now it’s clear why they wear an apron..=))”

I came home from work, I see there is dust all around... Give me, I think... and I’ll lie down.

Let the iron saw work, my mother did not give birth to me to work.

They pay a lot of money at work, but working on it, I don’t mind the first, but without the second, I have more fun!

Do you want to avoid oversleeping for work in the morning? Eat watermelon before bed.

I love work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at her for hours.

Work is not money...it never ends!!!

The bosses do not reduce salaries - they remind you that money does not buy happiness!

Morning is that part of the day when you envy the unemployed...

Monday is a rest after the weekend... Tuesday is preparation for the working day..

Shouldn’t I go to work, I thought. And he didn’t go.

the director returned from vacation tanned... and now he looks even more like shit

Science news: everything is a bunch in the collider

The best excuse for being late to the boss: “I popped into church to pray for you...”

True happiness is when you fall out of a 3rd floor window onto a pile of bricks and get away with a couple of bruises and scratches. This happened to me the day before yesterday. I'm Lucky and I'm alive!!!

Don't swear at the boss

Tomorrow I’ll get up early, have lunch and finish everything...

Damn, I haven’t worked in the office for so long that I forgot how to lay out the “kerchief”.

End working week– this is an orgasm, albeit a small one!

Biology lesson 9th grade, 2010. Teacher: - This is how insects enter into sexual contact. Pupils: - OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Flight attendants are lucky! Just think: a job where men are sorted into classes!

I bet that you are now sitting in front of the computer and reading my status

Folks, my room is heated more by the computer than by the heater =))

It's awfully hard work to do nothing.

Healthy sleep not only prolongs life, but also reduces working hours.

Loneliness is when you even want to go to work.

I study and work. I combine the unpleasant with the useless.

Waiting for your call is the hardest job in the world...

Better a small DOLLAR than a big THANK YOU))

I am a serious person, the only funny thing is my salary!

It's scary to work when the boss isn't around. I can’t even go out to smoke, I’m afraid to go home!

I work, I work, I’m not afraid of work, if my right side gets tired, I’ll turn to my left!

It would be better if work were a wolf and went to the forest from here

After sex, Moldovans turn to the wall and plaster.

Propisdon - the best remedy to increase work activity!

If you put off until the day after tomorrow what you can do today, you will have two free days.

The hardest job is looking busy when you're not.

If you don’t feel like working for the third day in a row, then today is Wednesday.

Labor is so exciting... I can literally sit for hours and watch someone work!

I’m sitting in a helmet, what if something...

I worked hard today, and realized that today was Friday only when at 4 o’clock, shouting “Whoever is last is a sucker!” The director ran away.

The boss wants us to work for three people. It's good that there are five of us.

The lazier a person is, the more his work resembles a feat.

I’m sitting here, working. It’s strange - that’s why a 5-kopeck coin fits into the right nostril, but not into the left?

A teacher was walking through the forest... releasing H2S :))

Someone secured the polyethylene with pimples and the work was covered for the whole day...

Work from the heart, sit and scratch.

And he lived happily ever after... until he went to work

It seems to me that the boss looks at me and thinks: “This device can work faster.”

Leave me alone, work. I am sad…

I am considered a multi-armed shiva, but I am paid like a one-legged macaque.

If you don’t feel like working for the third day in a row, then today is Wednesday.

A well-fixed patient does not require anesthesia

You go to the accounting department - no one... You go to Odnoklassniki - oops... Accounting!!!

The 9th 8-hour working day of the 5-day working week began at 9.00 and ended at 00.45...

Crap! When I tried to work, the Internet was detected again!

girl’s opinion:_ “Almost all men lack vitamins E, B, A, T, C, A”

In the morning I want to sleep so much that I don’t want to live!!!

Time for fun, time for work. Here it comes ((

I still have willpower! I want to work, but I won’t!

Filming of the sequel to the film “Heat”, entitled: “Cold”, was postponed due to sudden and prolonged warming.

Champagne, sea, men... Oh, what am I talking about??? Work work work…

The work of a system administrator is similar to the work of a scout - successes are unnoticeable, but everyone knows about failures xD

That job is good... where there is Internet...

Ass in soap, face in mud - we work on a VAZ!!!

We know our worth well. And it is always higher than our salary!!!

How hard it is to work when there is no boss. I don’t even go smoking, I’m afraid I’ll go home!!!

Sometimes you wake up like a bird, with a winged spring on edge. And I want to live and work, but by breakfast it goes away.

I work part time, so please shout at me in a low voice!

There are a lot of thoughts in my head, but there is no will in life. Just home, work and a little pain...

Even an engineer cannot work without a plan...

when leaving work...try not to run!! =))

If I had 2 dicks, I would put both of them to work.

The best statuses about work on Statuses-Tut.ru. People have been scaring us with this word since school. If you want to live in abundance, have an apartment, a car, a bank account, fly to Rome or London on vacation, you need to find a well-paid job. And for this you need to graduate from school and college with excellent marks and get acquainted with the right people. But when you're fourteen and the world beckons with the unknown, even thoughts about future work does not arise. And then the parents begin to intimidate, saying that if you don’t study, you will become a janitor or a dishwasher, you will live in a dormitory, and spend your vacation at a dacha a hundred kilometers from the city. So it turns out that after graduating from college, young people feel the fear of the unknown in front of this nightmare “Work”! If your ancestors told you something similar in childhood, on Statuses-Tut.ru you can choose for your pages in in social networks statuses about work are cool. After all, the most important thing in life is not to lose your sense of humor! After all, any work is good if it gives you moral and material pleasure!

Quotes from famous people about work!

Everyone knows the saying that work won’t run away from the wolf! Or: work loves fools. Aren't these masterpieces? folk wisdom, making us laugh and sad at the same time? And how many psychologists and sociologists today are puzzling over the age-old question of why work is needed, how to choose a job to your liking, where to find Good work how to climb career ladder without any special moral costs. Each living person has asked himself these and many other questions at least once, and perhaps more often. If you like to rack your brains with eternal riddles about work, you can find them on Statuses-Tut.ru interesting statuses about working with meaning. And let your management think with you!

Cool new statuses about work!

Are you an avid debater, do you like to debate about any issue? Then you definitely need our wonderful selection of cool new statuses about work. Now you will always have something to talk about during your work break. You will be able to amuse your colleagues with the most cool statuses about work, and you will always be aware of the latest new quotes. The word “work” brings up a lot of conflicting emotions. A person who has found an activity that coincides with his interests can consider himself happy. Of course, most people write, search and post statuses about work when they are dissatisfied with something in their work: bosses, salary, responsibilities, relationship with colleagues, etc.

Funny sayings about work!

You can complain about life and work endlessly, but it’s better to take a step towards your dream. Remember what you wanted to become as a child, maybe it’s time to change your job and start your own business. There is no need to be afraid of failure; courage, as you know, takes cities! And while not everyone can take such a risk, everyone can put funny statuses about their work. We need to start small! This fact will definitely cheer you up and help you fulfill your responsibilities more easily.

If before work you still look at women, but after work you no longer do, then the work completely satisfies you.

When the working day comes, PANTS, COATS, BOOTS wander along the city sidewalks... And people... SLEEPING INSIDE...

The working day is in full swing, I crawled out the next morning to the Iceberg shopping center to get my clothes and, already returning back with a full package of all sorts of nonsense, I came across the boss. Well, he wasn’t coming from the bank either!!

Cool! You can pay for electricity online. For an apartment - also online. For Internet and telephone also on-line. Salaries also come online. Beauty!!! I wish I could go to work online. It would be absolutely beautiful!!!

The opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Leave me to work, I’m sad, we haven’t received any money for our work for a long time... we’ve long been forgotten about our salary and advance, or maybe somewhere out there we’ve been “slaughtered”

I'm tired and want to go to my arms, but what kind of arms do I want to go to the Maldives?

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a single day in your life.

A professional is someone who can get the job done right the highest level, even if he doesn’t want to do it now.© Alistair Cook.

Born to go shopping, but forced to go to work.

(T) Somehow I was languishing, languishing without work and overtired!

So that our salaries don’t seem so small and are enough for more, we just need to make the months shorter

Vacation is when you buy shorts and flip-flops, not wallpaper and laminate.

Women will understand me. To say about a housewife: “She sits at home, she is UNEMPLOYED” is simply blasphemous!

Work is not a wolf, a wolf can’t fuck up like that!

If the boss forgot your name, it means he doesn’t hold a grudge against you.

The New Year doesn’t make me happy at all, I’m just looking forward to all these phrases, like you photographed us last year, but there are still no photos.

Doing bullshit in the workplace develops peripheral vision, hearing, reaction and alertness in general.

So Sunday comes to me and says: there is no time to explain - tomorrow is Monday.

Do we hold labor in high esteem? There's a question mark here! Zeal has not been valued in the country for a long time. Whoever earned a lot more than the boss is the first candidate for dismissal...

You need to get out of vacation, just like from a binge, gradually.

Comrade! Keep your nerves in check! When you come to work, don’t freak out! If you fulfilled the plan, send everyone to the village. If you didn’t fulfill it, screw them.

I'm hiding under a yellow basin. you can't see me, no??

There was a safety briefing at work. It turns out that sitting at a computer can cause you to get a burn or a blow. electric shock, head injury, poisoning and even drowning! I won't go to work anymore.

The boss returned from vacation tanned. And now he looks even more like shit!

Not caring is our profession!

If you do everything right, then everyone around you will doubt that you are doing anything at all.

Such an adult, but has not yet decided what profession he will be unemployed in.

Passat in crisis

Our boss says that he feels like a reindeer herder... But I would rather call him the main reindeer...

We plow and plow, we don’t have the right to allow ourselves a smoke break and come to our senses... or maybe a little thought will allow each of us to kill the horse within us.

Mmm, I want it, such a long-awaited... vacation!

Yesterday they wanted to lay me off. But hearing me scream... “Hurray! Finally! Show me this loser who will do my job!”, the boss for some reason changed his mind.

I miss my old job. - where did you work before? - Nowhere.

I came to work. She looked in the mirror, combed her hair, and winked. That's it, the fun is over. For the rest, there was no need to come.

Take the example of Lenin: Krupskaya said that he was going to his mistress, he said to his mistress that Krupskaya demanded to be at home. And he goes to the library and works. work, work...

The Paris-Dakar distance is bullshit! The Advance-Salary distance is a test!

Anyone who doesn't work has a successful marriage.

I have a clinic for expectant mothers near my work. So pregnant women constantly walk past the windows, maybe it’s strange, but over the past two months almost the entire staff has laughed. and why do you think???)))

You are of course a good guy, but there is no such position in the company!!!

If before work you look at women, but after work you don’t, then the work completely satisfies you...

I want to sleep in the morning, eat during the day, rest in the evening... Damn, I don’t have time to work...

If you don’t do a damn thing, then nothing will happen... I sit and don’t do a damn thing... Why do I need all sorts of trouble?

Eternity is the time from the beginning of the working day to its end. A moment is 28 calendar days of vacation.

At work: before lunch you want to eat, after lunch you want to sleep. And all the time I feel like it’s time to go home!

If you are considered a young, promising employee, then you are doing more work for a small salary!

If you work hard 8 hours a day, you can become a boss and work 12 hours a day.

A friend who has achieved power is a lost friend

I work, I work, I’m not afraid of work, if my right side gets tired, I’ll turn to my left!

You need to come to work either on time or every day.

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When will the circus open and all the clowns will be in their places, and not on leadership positions?! Otherwise I just laugh at work!

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If you want to work, go... and work! The money will not come on its own!

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I'm sitting here, working. It’s strange - that’s why a 5-kopeck coin fits into the right nostril, but not into the left?

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We have sleeping pills at work, they even add them to coffee, I checked.

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I'm sitting here, working. It’s strange why a 5-kopeck coin fits into the right nostril, but not into the left?...

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A person is never as close to perfection as when filling out a job application.

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Work is killing me as a person. But I get cash for it!

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Work like a dog, the faster you run, the faster it will catch up!

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(T) To do it “as expected” does not mean to put it to work!

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What I love about my job is that you can always drink tea there)))

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When the boss gets sick, a healthy atmosphere reigns in the team.

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Every boss, deep down in his soul, is afraid that his subordinates will be able to work without him...

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Real summer will come when you earn it!…

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Every day I say that I hate my job, but unfortunately I understand that I still won’t quit it.

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Don't say you're working. Show what you've earned.

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(T) A truly thrifty person even puts off work for a rainy day.

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According to the president, the country lacks qualified workers. According to the workers, the country needs a qualified president.

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Work... When it’s not there, you want it to be there. When it is there, you want it not to be there.

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Nothing brightens up the dial like the number 6 at the end of the working day...

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A career in a woman’s life takes place if there is no place for a man!

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If in the morning you want to go from home to work, and in the evening you want to go home from work, then you have neither a normal home nor a normal job.

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The coolest job in the world is relaxation! It seems like I would have worked all my life!!!

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What a life! As soon as you sit down to work, someone will definitely wake you up!

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It’s a pity that work isn’t a wolf... I would have let her go into the forest for a couple of weeks...

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Good conversation shortens the workday!

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Alas, I don’t have time to live at all, I only have time to work(((

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Job - best medicine from all troubles.

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The smaller the position, the more noticeable your absence from the workplace.

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Judging by the last salary, one gets the feeling that our bosses will drink from the hoof!!!

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Someone else’s work is somehow always easy...

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Crap! This work, work, work... There is no time to spend money!

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No matter how you work, there will always be an asshole who works less and gets more.

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With such a salary, work becomes just a hobby...

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Chief, remember! White (not tanned) color indicates employees who still want to go on vacation!

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It's easy to be a boss - you give a crazy order, and the horror of its consequences forces your subordinates to do everything right.

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Previously, we worked tirelessly, now without lifting our ass!

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The smart ones are those who earn money with their intelligence, and the wise ones are those for whom these smart people work.

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The big consumers of oxygen are the bosses. When they are gone, you can breathe easily!

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Our whole life is a struggle: before lunch with hunger, after lunch with sleep!

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(T) Laziness can also be useful - as a protection against overwork.

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Today the boss is not at work, I don’t even go out to smoke - I’m afraid to go home...))))

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It's amazing how important your job is when you need to take time off from it, and how unimportant it is when you ask for a raise)))

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Who is looking for a job: schedule 2/5, salary 75,000-100,000, vacation 62 days... Call!!! Let's look together!!)))

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Go to work like a seal - you'll wake the fuck up! And from work, like a deer, you’ll catch up with the dick!

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Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a single day in your life. (Confucius)

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Nowadays, people go wild at home, go wild in the service, and again feel like people - in nature.

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And who else wakes up in the morning and thinks... Well, today I’ll definitely come home from work and go straight to bed!

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And somewhere there is the sea, beaches, macho... The sunset is intoxicatingly beautiful!
Everything is simpler here - summer, dacha, shovels, rakes, vodka and beer!!!

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If you work all the time and never rest, you can become the richest man in the cemetery...

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Never do anything right the first time, otherwise no one will appreciate how difficult it was later.

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On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do or think anything, but on a full stomach, he cannot.

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Go to work or sleep? Sleep or go to work? I'll go to work and sleep!!!

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Study, study and study again - because you still won’t find a job!

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The best job is a highly paid hobby.

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If the boss comes up with a brilliant idea, that means someone will be doing crap all day

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Symptoms of office sickness - before lunch you struggle with hunger, after lunch you struggle with sleep, and all the time you feel like you are not being paid extra.

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The hardest thing for women to get a job! Everyone needs 18-year-old girls with 30 years of experience, two degrees and grown children!

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I worked hard today, and realized that today was Friday only when the director ran away at 4 o’clock, shouting “Who’s last?”

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If you quit, what will you live on? If you work, then when will you live?

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Work has three advantages: Friday, salary and vacation.

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I don’t regret, I don’t call, I don’t cry, I just don’t have time. I work, I walk...:)))

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From the lips of an accountant: “Why do you understand everything! No orgasm compares to what you experience when the balance comes together!”

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Only in Russia can a person study for free, get treatment for free and work for free.

Statuses about work and about work