How to change for the better planning. steps to help you change yourself for the better

Each person acts as he sees fit. We have our own inner beliefs, which we express through actions. We manifest them outwardly because we cannot do otherwise. What leads to poverty, excess weight, frustration, loss of friends is hidden deep within a person.

Remember how many promises you have made to yourself throughout your life. They said, for example, that you would not be rude, raise your voice at people, smoke, drink, or eat fatty foods after six in the evening. But already at eleven at night, you are sitting in the kitchen and eating cake, despite your promise.

Due to the fact that we have no idea how to change internally, we often begin to make mistakes and complicate the situation. We get angry at ourselves for our lack of willpower and constantly blame ourselves for mistakes and failures. Stop blaming yourself and say: “Now I am free. I have a goal to become a self-sufficient person, successful in everything I want. I deserve to be happy, and accept it as a gift.”

Many of us think that they are absolutely helpless in this life and lose interest in everything, seeing only loneliness and hopelessness around them. Such hopelessness arises from many disappointments, pain and resentment, leading to an unwillingness to live life to the fullest. Stop! Ask yourself what is the reason for this disappointment that makes you so angry. The more anger you pour into this world, the angrier you become. Think about it, you were angry, perhaps even at the moment you read the previous paragraph. You must understand how to change in better side. And we will help you.

The beginning of change

Decide for yourself that you want to take your life in a different direction. Do not doubt, every person has enough strength within himself to understand for himself how to change both externally and internally. You need to change your worldview, your train of thought, overcome stubbornness, and then change will come.

Exercises

You don’t yet know how you can change, but you already have this desire inside you. Tell yourself that you want to become better, and more than once, repeat it at every opportunity. Believe in change and it will happen. What you think is impossible to change in you needs to be changed first. By repeating the phrase: “I want to become different,” you use the Power of the Universe to help you.

Look in the mirror when you say to yourself “I want to become different”, listen to your feelings. If you feel contradictions, do not despair and do not blame yourself, because it is very difficult to change quickly. Try to figure out which thought is causing you to doubt. Dissolve it. Then, go back to the mirror and say something nice about yourself. This kind of eye contact with yourself should definitely help.

How to change a lot and start new life? Change your beliefs, your thoughts. If a negative thought persists, catch yourself on it and banish it once and for all. It is possible, we can control every thought.

Principles of working on yourself:

• Mind control.
• The desire to change yourself.
• Forgiveness of all grievances.

After deciding to start changes, you need to learn to control your mind. You can use him as you wish, he is your instrument, subject to your desire. And not vice versa. Think about it. To find harmony, control the thoughts and words you say, as they have incredible power and create all the situations in your life. But in reality, you are the master of your mind.

Leave the past in the past

I have been working as a psychologist for many years and have heard more than once from my patients that what prevents them from being happy in the present is their sad past, where they were offended, traumatized, wounded to the very heart. Now they have lost all the values ​​and meaning of life, they cannot forget events from the past, they cannot love, they cannot forgive. And if they forgot and forgave, their life would again show its charms.

Treat all events from the past as memories without emotional evaluation. Forgive everyone who has ever harmed you and you will find the answers you need. The most important thing is love. Only real love can change us radically. Love for others, love for the world. But without forgiveness, it does not come.

Exercise to deal with grievances

While in silence, imagine in front of you a small stage in a dimly lit theater, on which the person who offended you is standing. It doesn't matter whether he's alive or not, you need to overcome your hatred. Mentally imagine that good things are happening to him, he is really happy. Remember his image like this. Then get on stage yourself. You smile too, because there is enough goodness in the world for everyone. This simple exercise will dissolve your resentment if you learn to do it correctly. Work on yourself, get to know yourself as deeply as possible, and the world will change with you for the better, giving you the opportunity to find true happiness.

There is no person who would not be faced with a situation when at a certain stage of life the question arises: how to change for the better, how to change your behavior, habits, character?

You can change yourself for the better endlessly, because there will always be something that doesn’t suit you. In the process of life, many of us develop an attitude towards existence that can be characterized in two words - a feeling of helplessness.

It seems to us that life is full of hopelessness and desperation. It becomes especially scary when we are unable to change anything. There are many reasons to think this way - constant pain, endless disappointments, incessant grievances. But as a result, we see one thing - a categorical refusal of life, self-loathing and the inability to see our life in a positive way.

In such a situation, it is important to ask yourself the question: “What leads me to constant disappointments? How can I change myself for the better and change my attitude towards the world?

After all, it is the desire for better and self-improvement that can change a person’s character, his worldview and attitude towards life, then the world will treat him completely differently.

Internal and external changes in a person certainly lead to an improvement in life. The highest goals and dreams become accessible. When we are ready to change - we are growing!

Intrinsic motivation

What is one of the main reasons for wanting to change yourself and your usual lifestyle for the better? Often it's fear. Among the strongest motivators are the fear of losing health, family, job, loved one, status, fear of not being able to do something in life.

To start changes, you need to convince yourself and believe that there is always a way out of any situation; it is important to have a strong hope of solving the problem.

Only then does a girl in love, who wants to lose weight and not lose her loved one, start going to the pool and gym. A person who has had a heart attack immediately stops smoking. The fear of poverty and insolvency forces one to work hard.

However, a person will not change himself and his life if he is satisfied with everything and he is sure that he will live well anyway. Those who simply do not see the possibility of solving emerging problems and difficult situations will not strive for change.

People do not fight serious illnesses because they do not believe and do not hope for recovery. To start changing, you need to realize how important and precious everything is to you that can easily be lost.

The beginning of change

There are no ways to change internally quickly and easily. Nor have they come up with any magical means for instant eradication. bad habits or acquiring positive character traits.

The desire to change yourself is not enough - it is important to make some efforts to achieve success. Change begins with a clear understanding of what exactly irritates you or doesn’t suit you in yourself, what prevents you from living peacefully.

You need to find out for yourself what positive or negative qualities you possess what they give you. Then consciously choose those qualities that you absolutely must get rid of in order to change for the better.

There is no need to try to get rid of all bad qualities and habits at the same time. This is an absolutely impossible task!

It is necessary to gradually and patiently cultivate the positive qualities inherent in every person. This process is similar to how a gardener cares for and cares for flowers. Even roses freed from weeds will not bloom and smell fragrant if not properly cared for.

Positive thinking

Every day we hear endless complaints about people, life, injustice. At the same time, everyone knows about the usefulness and importance of positive thinking. It has long been known that people’s thoughts depend on their statements and influence behavior, emotions and feelings.

Priest Will Bowen observed people's behavior over a long period of time. He advised those who wanted to radically change their lives to wear a bracelet on their wrist for three weeks and try to live without complaints, gossip and irritation.

If a person forgot and started saying negative phrases, he had to put the bracelet on his other hand, and the countdown began again. The goal of the experiment is to wear the bracelet on one hand for a full three weeks.

The method used turned out to be extremely effective. The observation participants changed significantly - they learned to notice positive qualities in themselves and the world around them, live without complaints for a long time, and stopped speaking negatively about things and people.

Thus, participants who wanted to know how to change beyond recognition internally learned to control their thoughts and phrases, which led to dramatic changes in their lives. In addition, the experiment allowed everyone to learn a lot of interesting things about themselves and their thinking.

External changes

How to change externally? A question of this kind will certainly arise if you want to change yourself for the better. The general image will certainly begin to undergo dramatic changes as soon as changes appear in the internal worldview.

By learning to use positive thinking, you will stop wasting your strength and energy on useless grievances and destructive thoughts, and you will also be able to forgive offenders and ill-wishers.

As soon as you recognize your uniqueness, you will immediately love yourself and learn to show love to other people. There will be no desire to avoid problems and adversity with the help of alcohol, smoking, or overeating.

You will notice changes in appearance: straight shoulders, confident gait, sparkling eyes. The world will begin to change rapidly, and you will have new acquaintances, hobbies, and friends. You will want to change your appearance, your usual image, because you need to correspond to the new internal state.

The opposite course of life changes is also possible. First, a person decides to change his appearance: get rid of extra pounds, get a new hairstyle, update his wardrobe. Then changes immediately occur in the internal content and thinking. A person feels confident because he is satisfied with his appearance.

If you have decided and realized how to change radically (internally or externally), then do not hesitate to do so, do not delay the beginning better life to “tomorrow”, to “later” or “later”. Begin to be active immediately, regardless of the time of day or day of the week. Appreciate every second, because life passes quickly and irrevocably!

Changes in character

If you want to understand how to change your character for the better, you need to do the following. Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen and make a list of two columns.

In the first column write those character traits that, in your opinion, negatively affect behavior, in the second - indicate the traits that you would like to acquire. Your family and friends can help you compile such a list. This will give you the opportunity to look at yourself from the outside, because often we do not notice or do not want to admit our own shortcomings.

Next, next to the indicated character flaws, you need to write down the proposed ways to turn them into advantages. For example, pessimism can be overcome by positive thinking and a positive attitude, laziness - by an active lifestyle and hobbies, anger - by showing goodwill, etc.

Think responsibly about how your life will change after changing your character. This will motivate you. But remember that it is not enough just to know how to change your character. It is important to put in effort and work, to show willpower, and this is not an easy task!

Sometimes change can change a person's character. appearance. This is especially true for women. For example, by changing her hairstyle or hair color, a woman notices that her attitude towards the world around her begins to gradually change.

There is also an inverse relationship. When a rethinking of values ​​occurs in the mind, a desire may arise to change externally in order to correspond to your new “I”.

Video “How to become happy”

Changing character is a very difficult task. In an effort to improve yourself and your character, control your behavior and get rid of unnecessary thoughts and actions in a timely manner!

There is a deep-seated feeling in all of us that we must act and think exactly as we act and think. It is consistent with or an expression of our beliefs. If there were no belief, then there would be no manifestation of it. There is something in us that causes us to be overweight, bad relationships, failure, poverty, frustration, etc.

How many times have you repeated to yourself: “ I will never do this again!” Despite this statement, you eat cake again, light a cigarette again, be rude to people you care about, etc., even though the day has not yet ended when you promised yourself not to do this again. And yet we do it.

And then we complicate the problem even more when we angrily tell ourselves: “ You don’t have the slightest willpower!” And this makes even more difficult the overwhelming burden of guilt that we already carry on our shoulders. Instead, tell yourself: “ I want to free myself from the hidden desire to be unworthy all the time. I deserve the best in life and I give myself permission to accept it with love.».

The attitude of many of us towards life is primarily a feeling of helplessness. We have long given up on life with its hopelessness and hopelessness. For some, this is due to countless disappointments, for others, constant pain, etc. But the result is the same for everyone - a complete rejection of life and an unwillingness to see oneself and one’s life in a completely different way. Well, if you asked yourself the question: “what exactly causes constant disappointment in my life?” What is it that you give away so generously that causes others to irritate you so much? Whatever you give, you get back. The more irritated you become, the more you create situations that irritate you. I wonder if you were annoyed now while reading the previous paragraph? If yes, then that's great! That's why you need to change! Deciding to change Now let's talk about change and our desire to change. We all want our lives to change for the better, but we ourselves don’t want to change. Let someone else change, let “they” change, and I’ll wait. In order to change anyone else, you must first change yourself. And you must change internally. We must change the way we think, the way we speak, and the things we say. Only then will real change come. I personally have always been stubborn. Even when I made the decision to change, this stubbornness got in my way. But I still knew that this was where I needed a change. The more I hold on to any statement, the clearer it is to me that it is this statement that I need to free myself from. And only when you are convinced of this from your own experience can you teach others. It seems to me that all wonderful spiritual teachers had an unusually difficult childhood, went through pain and suffering, but learned to free themselves, which they began to teach others. Many good teachers They constantly work on themselves and this becomes their main occupation in life. Exercise “I want to change” Repeat the phrase: “I want to change for the better” as often as possible. While saying this phrase to yourself, touch your throat. The throat is the center where all the energy necessary for change is concentrated. And be prepared for change when it comes into your life. Know also that if you think that somewhere you cannot change yourself, that is where you need to change. “I want to change. I want to change." The forces of the Universe will automatically help you in your intention, and you will be surprised to discover more and more positive changes in your life. Another exercise Go to the mirror and tell yourself: “I want to change.” Notice how this makes you feel. If you find yourself resisting or hesitating, ask yourself why? For God's sake, don't beat yourself up, just celebrate it. Ask yourself what statement or thought makes you feel this way? You have to dissolve it regardless. whether you know where you got it from or not. Go back to the mirror, look deeply into your eyes, touch your throat and say loudly 10 times: “I want to free myself from all resistance.” Working with a mirror helps a lot. Looking yourself in the eye and saying a positive statement about yourself is the most quick way get good results.

How can you change? Change your beliefs

Change your beliefs and your life will change ! Every thought we have can change! If unwanted thoughts come to you all the time, stop yourself from such thoughts and tell them: “Get out!” Instead, accept a thought that can bring you good luck. Self-improvement is based on three principles:

• Desire to change.
• Control over the mind.
• Forgiving yourself and others.

We talked about the desire to change for the better above, let's talk about control over the mind. We are all much more than our minds. You probably think that the mind is responsible for everything in your life. But such a belief is based only on the fact that you think so.

Your mind is a tool that can be used this way and that way. He is always at your service. Turn off the chatterbox in your mind for a moment and think about the meaning of the statement: “your mind is your tool.” And you decide how to use it yourself.

The thoughts you choose create all your life situations. There is incredible power in thoughts and words. And when you learn to control your thoughts and words, you will be in harmony with this power. Don't think that your mind controls you. Quite the contrary, you control your mind.

Exercise "Release"

Take a deep breath and then exhale all the air. Relax your body. Then tell yourself, “I want to be free. I am released from all tension. I am freeing myself from all my old beliefs. I feel calm. I'm at peace with myself. I am at peace with the process of life itself. I'm safe".

Repeat this exercise three times. When you feel like you are in a difficult situation, repeat these phrases to yourself. And then they will become a part of you and will be so natural that all the tension and daily struggle will gradually disappear from your life. So relax and think about something good. It's so easy.

Physical relaxation

Sometimes we need to relax physically. Negative experiences from the situations we find ourselves in and the emotions we experience often remain in our body. One form of physical release from this is the following: close all the windows in the car or house and scream as loud as you can. Hitting a pillow or bed with all your might is another harmless method.

Playing a variety of sports or going for a brisk walk will lead to the same results. I once experienced a terrible pain in my shoulder that lasted a day or two. I tried to ignore it, but it didn't go away. Then I asked myself: “What’s going on, what’s the matter? What annoys me? I couldn't find the answer, so I said to myself, “Well, let's see.”

I placed two large pillows on the bed and began hitting them as hard as I could. After the twelfth blow, I knew exactly what was annoying me. Everything was clear, and I began to hit the pillows even harder and, thus, freed myself from the feeling of irritation. When I finished, I felt much lighter, and the next day the pain completely disappeared.

Liberation from the past

Many of my patients say that they cannot be happy now because they were traumatized in the past. Because they didn't do something they should have done. Because they no longer have what they valued most in the world. Because they have been hurt and cannot love; something unpleasant happened earlier and they remember it. Because once they did something terrible and curse themselves for it. Because they can neither forgive nor forget,

Constantly remembering your past means only hurting yourself. Those who are guilty before us - they don’t care. “They” don’t even know the extent of our pain. Therefore, there is no point in concentrating your thoughts on the past. It is gone and cannot be changed. But we can change our attitude to him.

Exercise “liberation from the past”

Let us consider the past only as a memory. If you remember what you wore in the third grade, then this memory will be without any emotional evaluation. The same can be said about all events in your past.

As we free ourselves, we become able to use all our mental power in the present moment. We can change for the better. Again, watch your reaction. What will you need to do to achieve this? How willing or ready are you to let go of your past? What is your resistance level?

Forgiveness

Our next step with you is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the answer to all questions and problems. I know from own experience that when we have problems in life, no matter what nature, it means that we need to forgive someone.

Love- the only answer to any of our problems, and the road to such a state is through forgiveness. Forgiveness dissolves resentment. There are several ways.

Exercise “dissolving resentment”

Sit somewhere quiet, relax. Imagine that you are in a darkened theater and there is a small stage in front of you. Put on stage the person you need to forgive (the person you hate most in the world). This person may be alive or dead, and your hatred may be both past and present.

When you see this person clearly, imagine that something good is happening to him, something that means something good to him great importance. Picture him smiling and happy. Hold this image in your mind for a few minutes, and then let it disappear.

Then, when the person you want to forgive leaves the stage, put yourself there. Imagine that only good things happen to you. Imagine yourself happy and smiling. And know that there is enough goodness in the universe for all of us.

This exercise dissolves the dark clouds of accumulated resentment. Some people will find this exercise very difficult. Every time you do it, you can draw in your imagination different people. Do this exercise once a day for a month and see how much easier your life becomes.

Mental Visualization Exercise

Here's another very good exercise. Imagine yourself as a small child (5-6 years old). Look deep into this child's eyes. Try to see the deep longing and understand that this longing is for love for you. Reach out and hug this one small child, press it to your chest. Tell him how much you love him. Tell him that you admire his intelligence, and if he makes mistakes, then it’s okay, everyone makes them.

Promise him that you will always come to his aid if necessary. Now let the child become very small, the size of a pea. Place it in your heart. Let him settle there. When you look down, you will see his little face and you will be able to give him all your love, which is so important to him.

Now imagine your mother when she was 4-5 years old, scared and hungry for love. Extend your hands to her and tell her how much you love her. Tell her that she can count on you no matter what. When she calms down and feels safe, place her in your heart.

Now imagine your father as a little boy of 3-4 years old, he is also very afraid of something and cries loudly, inconsolably. You will see tears rolling down his face. You now know how to calm small children. Hold him to your chest and feel his trembling body. Calm him down. Let him feel your love. Tell him that you will always be there for him.

When his tears dry, may he also become very tiny. Place it in your heart with you and your mother. Love them all, for there is nothing more sacred than love for little children. There is enough love in your heart to heal our entire planet. But let's heal ourselves first. Feel the warmth spreading throughout your body. Softness and tenderness. Let this precious feeling begin to change your life.

My schedule

My day usually goes like this: When I wake up in the morning, before I open my eyes, I express gratitude for everything I have. After my shower, I meditate and pray for about half an hour. Then morning exercises (15 minutes). Sometimes I do gymnastics along with the 6 o'clock morning program on TV.

My breakfast consists of fruit and herbal tea. I again thank Mother Earth for sending me food. Before lunch, I go to the mirror and do exercises: I either say them or sing them. These are statements like:

• Louise, you are beautiful and I love you.
• This is the most beautiful day of my life.
• Everything you need to know will come to you.
• Everything is fine.

For lunch I usually eat a big salad. Once again, I bless my food and give thanks. Sometime during the day I listen to a tape of affirmations. For dinner I eat steamed vegetables and porridge. Sometimes chicken or fish. Simple food is best for my body. In the evening I read or study. When I go to bed, I mentally remember the past day and bless it. I say I will sleep great and wake up in the morning to a great day. Sounds strange, doesn't it?

Well, how do you start your day? What do you say or think in the morning when you wake up? I remember the time when, waking up in the morning, I thought: “Oh my God, I have to wake up again. Another day". And I got exactly the day I imagined. One trouble after another. Now, before I open my eyes, I give thanks for good dream and for everything good in my life.

About work

Some of us, dissatisfied with our chosen career, constantly think:

• I can't stand my job.
• I hate my job.
• I don't make enough money.
• I'm not appreciated at work.
• I just don't know what to do.

These are negative thoughts that bring you a lot of harm. How do you expect to find Good work, if you think like that all the time? This is called approaching the problem from the wrong end. If you currently have a job that you hate for some reason, you need to do the following.

Start by blessing your present work, because it is a necessary milestone on your path. You are now where your life beliefs have led you. So, start blessing everything about your work: the building you work in, the elevator, the rooms, the furniture and equipment, the people you interact with there.

If you want to leave this job, then constantly tell yourself that you are releasing this job with love and giving it to a person who will be absolutely happy in it. And know that in reality, many people aspire to the position you occupy at work.

“I am open and ready to accept work that would use my capabilities and talents. This new job will allow me to realize all my creative abilities and will satisfy me.” If someone at work bothers you, bless that person every time you think about them.

Although we do not choose this, it is important to know that each of us has a little of Hitler and a little of Jesus Christ... If such a person is critical, imagine him as a person who praises everyone: if he is cruel, tell yourself that he is gentle and fair. If you see only the good in people, then they will show you their wonderful qualities, regardless of how they behave with others.

© Louise Hay. Heal your life. The power is within us. - M., 1996

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We all want to change something in our lives, but, as always, we find 150 reasons why we cannot do it.

Especially for you website prepared 12 tasks that you must complete every month. The countdown is on!

Every year we make plans, promise to change our lives for the better, but there are always reasons why we cannot achieve these goals. Our main problem is that we plan incorrectly.

Teacher and blogger Manya Borzenko has found a way with which you can achieve everything you want. So let's get started.

1. We determine what is important in our lives.
2. We determine what is important and works by itself.
3. We support the work in non-dying mode.
4. We determine how to start the sagging.
5. Forward!

At first glance, everything seems easy and simple, the main thing is to follow all these rules.

Many habits prevent us from living happily. It is, of course, difficult to get rid of them, but it is possible. And here are some tips:

1. The habit of devoting around the clock to work.
   Don't fill your day with endless tasks. Always take time to rest, reflect and recharge. And don't kid yourself - you're not so busy that you can't relax for a few minutes.
2. The habit of remembering your past.
   You are no longer the same as you were a year, month, or even a week ago.​ You are always growing and changing. That is life.
3. The habit of being liked by everyone.
   ​We don't have to love everyone we meet, and everyone around us doesn't have to love us.

You need to work on yourself every day. At first it will be difficult to break the habit of all your habits, but over time you will only get better.

The beginning of spring is the most best time to take care of your body. Summer is ahead, which means you need to lose those extra pounds. First, try doing the plank exercise. This is the most effective method to strengthen the abdomen and shoulder girdle.

1. Get on your hands and knees. Straighten your legs and place your toes on the floor.
2. Tighten your abdominal muscles and take turns lifting your legs off the floor, lifting them up a few centimeters.
3. Perform the exercise for a minute. Keep your back straight without arching your lower back.

10 minutes a day - and your body can change beyond recognition in a month. This is just one of the exercises you need to do every day

Now, thanks to the Internet, we can gain knowledge for free and without leaving home. You can learn programming, play the guitar or piano, or become a chess champion. All in your hands. You just have to want it, and you will always find time.

We often experience difficulties communicating with parents, management or friends. It's time to fix it!

How to talk to management
To correctly present the information we plan to communicate and choose the right time to talk to the boss, we need to put ourselves in his shoes. It is better to ask the manager how it would be more convenient for him to discuss the request: in person or by phone. e-mail. As for email, you should not copy the phrases of your interlocutor: this is a passive-aggressive way of communication.

How to talk to your significant other
It is worth paying attention to what we are told. If on a date everything the interlocutor talks about is saturated with negativity, this is a reason to think: isn’t he afraid of the relationship he entered into with us?

Summer has come, and it's time to throw out all the unnecessary junk that we have lying around. Our home is an extension of ourselves, our reflection. If you want changes, first of all take care of your home. When the house is kept clean and tidy, the mind comes into order and things get better.

It's time to change the scenery and go to conquer mountain heights or sandy beaches. You shouldn't save money on vacation. The most valuable things in our life are emotions and impressions. In another country you will meet new people, new cultures, customs, and discover something new. Isn't this wonderful?