Improve family relationships with your husband. How to build a relationship with your husband so that you can live happily ever after

Standing in a wedding dress or a formal tailcoat, every girl or guy dreams of a wonderful family life. At this moment, none of them thinks about possible quarrels and discord after the wedding. But sooner or later they happen, and for many couples this becomes an insurmountable obstacle to creating strong family ties. You need to work on relationships and know how to improve your relationship with your husband.

Psychologists say that married couples are a single organism in which the so-called grinding in and getting used to each other takes place for some time. There is no one piece of advice that will exclusively help all couples form harmonious relationships. Everyone has their own scenario. But there are practical tips on how to improve relationships with your husband or wife, which we will talk about.

Any married couple goes through a stage when quarrels become more frequent in the family. There are simply no conflict-free families. Statistics say that out of 100 families, more than 80 couples fight constantly. But for many couples, these types of problems are short-term in nature. And for some, the conflict drags on, and in many cases, it becomes impossible to save the family without the intervention of a specialist.

Psychologists attribute this to many reasons, but the main one is a complete lack of trust, respect and devotion. This is what often leads to the fact that ordinary everyday quarrels develop into an unresolvable conflict between a man and a woman.

In addition, each of us is an individual with his own set of feelings, emotions and the ability to demonstrate them. Therefore, during a quarrel, a person behaves differently. There are three personality types based on behavior during conflict.

1. People prone to impulsiveness are unable to control their emotions and aggression. Therefore, conflict with them often develops into a scandal, hysterics, and breaking of dishes. But often, having thrown out accumulated negative emotions, impulsive people calm down after shouting.
2. Restrained individuals pose the greatest danger. Such people know how to control their actions, but after a quarrel they can think about a plan of revenge.
3. The third type is conflict-free. This is the type of people who are easily suggestible, easy to manipulate and control. They often adhere to the opinions of others and try in every possible way to avoid a quarrel that arises. If they cannot avoid it, they take on the image of a “poor lamb” and do not try to argue, and after a conflict they are usually the first to make reconciliation, having realized, perhaps, non-existent mistakes.

Before you understand how to improve family relationships, you should highlight the main reasons why misunderstandings occur:

• material problems that require solutions;
• lack of intimate balance between man and woman;
• betrayal;
• intense jealousy;
• different life values, interests, guidelines, positions in raising children;
• the struggle for the right to be called the head;
• everyday life and boredom;
• long distance marriage.
• bad habits of one of the spouses.

These are the main reasons why many couples start fighting after marriage. But the basis of all conflicts, psychologists believe, lies in misunderstanding and inability to listen to each other and make concessions.

Visualization is one of the ways to understand the problem

It is worth noting that working to reduce the number of quarrels in a married couple is the task of both partners. Not only a woman, but also a man, who is equally an accomplice in the conflicts that arise, should think about how to improve relations with a loved one.

If a problem has arisen and a married couple begins to look for ways to improve family relationships, then psychologists recommend using the visualization method. To do this, both spouses need to imagine the relationship that they consider ideal between a man and a woman. This should be a bright and clear picture, which should be as close to reality as possible.

For example, a woman wants not only a good attitude towards herself, but also kisses, hugs, conversations at dinner. And the man imagines complete understanding on the part of his wife and great support in all matters. Everyone will have their own fantasies. At the same time, it is very important to make the picture more voluminous and real. Imagine what you would like to see in your soulmate. Select those qualities that can be subjectively applied and achieved by your partner.

The visualization method not only helps you understand your desires and aspirations, but also concretize and receive positive emotions and the right direction in your actions.

Fix everything! Basic rules on how to improve relationships

Women's nature, perception and psyche are more sensitive. Every event is perceived by a woman more emotionally. This often leads to quarrels and subsequent resentment of spouses against each other.

Psychologists, understanding this nature of female nature, have developed several recommendations that help a woman understand how to improve relationships with her loved one. After a quarrel, a woman needs to do three basic techniques. They help to understand and evaluate the current situation, as well as to get out of the problem correctly.

1. Try to relax, relieve the emotional negative load and look at the situation from the outside.
2. Don't be alarmed if you realize that you are wrong in a given situation.
3. Do not remember the grievances or conflicts that existed between you before.

Let's look at each method in more detail.
Learning to reason logically during an emotionally negative state is quite difficult. But this is worth learning if you don’t want to look for answers in the future to the question of how to improve your relationship with your boyfriend or husband. Anyone can enlarge a non-existent problem, but not everyone can understand the meaning of the situation and take a sober look at what is happening. And it's worth learning.

The second point in practical advice on how to improve relationships with a loved one after a conflict is not to be afraid to understand that you are wrong. For many women, it is very important to prioritize what is most important in life: be right or harmony of relationships. After time, many understand their mistakes, but admitting it becomes unrealistic for them. Therefore, conflicts that arise practically out of nowhere often develop into protracted scandals and grievances. By talking about your wrongness, you do not step over your “I”, you simply show your love and respect for your partner.

The third way to help you understand how to improve your relationship with your boyfriend or husband after a conflict is to not remember old sins. There is no need to do this, especially if that quarrel was resolved positively. If you have sincerely forgiven each other, then there is no point in remembering her again. This will indicate your insincerity towards your partner.

How to overcome a protracted quarrel

If the conflict drags on, psychologists advise to understand the situation. First, the couple needs to find enough time to discuss the essence of the conflict. Choose a period so that no one disturbs you. It is better to turn off all phones during this period and focus only on solving the problem that has arisen. Start the discussion with the phrase “Our problem arose because of...”, “Tell me your view on the situation that arose...”.

You need to listen to each other’s opinions carefully, even if disagreements arise, do not interrupt, moderate your emotions. Think through options for solving the problem together and determine what each spouse is doing to ensure that the conflict situation is resolved.

Is it possible to establish understanding after losing a family or loved one?

The situation when the question arises of how to improve relations with a husband or wife arises after a divorce is not uncommon. The emotional frenzy passes, and the person understands the value of what he lost. The same can happen when two lovers meet.

Having broken off a relationship, a person may wonder how to improve relations with a guy or girl. If such thoughts arise, it may indicate feelings of love for your partner, but it may also be a false signal. Most often, if the desire for a loved one to return arises after a week, then do not rush to draw conclusions. Perhaps this is a manifestation of the habit of established norms of everyday life during the period of your relationship with your ex. This is not a reason to ask the person to return.

For example, a wife is not used to sleeping alone, a guy is used to telephone conversations with his beloved, etc. To understand whether you need a person and whether you really want him to return, you need to live at a distance for some time.

Try to get used to the new way of life. If, after a couple of months of living at a distance, you are still looking for a meeting with your ex-husband or wife, you still miss him or her, then you should make an effort and try to get the relationship back. They can be returned and improved. But in such a situation it is very important that this desire is mutual. Former spouses need to sort out their grievances, forgive and try to return the family idyll. Many couples succeed in this.

When the great classic wrote that “every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” he was absolutely right. There are a great many situations that destroy family relationships, and a woman, as the keeper of the family hearth, always acutely senses danger. The answer to the question of how to improve relations with her husband and save a marriage helps a woman take a fresh look at the problem and easily cope with it.

The collapse of the relationship: my husband and I are on the verge of divorce

What happens over time? Why does a well-established life begin to crack? Why do warmth, trust and love leave relationships? The reasons are usually considered:
- frequent quarrels and reproaches,
- financial difficulties,
- different views on raising children,
- treason
and many others who can break the “ship of your love” on the reefs of life.

It all starts very casually and not scary. They quarreled and immediately made up. Yes, there is a lack of money, but many people have it. We will raise our children somehow, we will not be the first. But the trouble is that the problems are growing. Quarrels become more and more frequent, and reconciliation takes longer and longer. Lack of money drags on and forces you to look for someone to blame for the lack of funds. And the behavior of children from uncoordinated actions of parents becomes worse and worse.

And now, very close, literally a stone's throw away, the prospect of a break in relations looms. It is always harder for a woman to make the decision to end a marriage. She is ready to do a lot to save the family, but does not know how to improve relations with her husband, especially on the verge of divorce. Until recently, a dear and beloved man suddenly becomes a cold and distant stranger who does not want to make contact.

How to improve family relationships in such a situation, how to start a conversation with your husband if he is avoiding him?

Advice from friends and acquaintances, various recommendations from books on the topic - how to improve relationships - for some reason do not work with your husband. Neither a change of environment nor a new style of clothing or hairstyle helps. Changing your external image is not difficult, but what to do with complete ignorance of the internal state of a man who has lived with you for many years? But you need to act very precisely, because there may not be a second chance.

Systemic vision of the problem of family relationships

Someone else's soul is darkness, as they usually say when they cannot explain certain actions of a person. But is it? How dark and unpredictable is his soul, and is it possible to improve family relationships? How to return love and find a common language with your husband is answered by Yuri Burlan’s training “System-vector psychology.” When physical attraction, which smoothes out all the rough edges of a relationship, becomes weaker over time, a woman often begins to see her husband as a complete stranger.

It turns out that your husband is sharply different from you in his way of thinking, in his desires and preferences. In the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, these innate mental characteristics of a person are called vectors. There are eight of them and they are all different. And in order to understand how to improve relations with your husband, you must first of all understand - who is he, your husband?

You want one thing, but he wants something completely different. You like this, and he likes that. And your tastes, your desires and what brings pleasure in life can also be radically different. Let's try to find ways to improve relations with your husband after any family troubles (quarrels and disputes, financial problems, infidelity of one of the spouses, scandals on the verge of divorce) and even how to remain in good relations after a divorce.

They are so different

Every woman dreams of being happy in marriage. But it turns out that family happiness is different for everyone. One woman dreams of her husband doing business or having a high position. She wants to have an expensive apartment in an elite area or house, attend high-status events, teach children in prestigious institutions and travel to European resorts. A woman with the skin vector wants to get a lot from marriage.

She is fast, always running somewhere... And her husband is completely different - thorough, unhurried. This man, of course, will try to provide for his family, but he wants to be the master of his home, and not of business. He is not interested in high positions and does not need status events. “My home is my fortress” - this is the credo of a person with an anal vector. Children's education is not prestigious, but quality. If a trip, then not abroad, but to the country. And he will invite sincere, reliable friends into his home, and not people with connections.

Do you see the difference? And everyone wants to be happy in their family, although they understand this in their own way. A woman can insist on her own way as much as she wants, push her husband to do business, make useful contacts, but she will not achieve success. She will encounter resistance, at first soft, then increasingly harsh - with abuse, scandals and insults. He will argue until he is hoarse and defend his opinion to the death, and then, offended, he will not speak to his wife for weeks. Do you think it’s easy to improve relationships after such quarrels, if you can’t even talk to your husband?

Women's happiness - if only a sweetheart were nearby

This is what the famous song says. These words resonate in the heart of a woman for whom family happiness is the highest value. Homely, economical, she takes care of the house and children, creates coziness and comfort. And she really expects her beloved husband to appreciate these efforts - to praise the delicious dinner and notice the cleanly washed floors. And then - a quiet family evening, leisurely conversations about work, children, friends.

But ironically, or rather based on the principle of complementary properties, such women most often get husbands from men who have a completely different idea of ​​family happiness. For them, it is much more important to earn money, climb to the top of the career ladder, and they are ready to work three jobs or immerse themselves in business in order to provide what they consider the most valuable thing in life.

These are men with the skin vector who cannot sit still and prefer to spend time on the move, and consider success, achieving their goal, or a successful deal to be the highest happiness. They are stingy with praise, do not like to show feelings and share information even with close people.

Therefore, attempts to seat such a man next to you on the sofa for intimate conversations are doomed to failure. A woman with an anal vector will be offended that her work was not appreciated, that she was not praised for the comfort and cleanliness she created, for caring about her husband and children. And her husband simply does not notice these efforts. He has completely different values ​​- he is a breadwinner, for whom it is important to make a career, make the necessary connections, and take a high position. To do this, he is ready to work for days, leave early and come late, not caring at all how his stay-at-home wife will react to this.

This is normal and natural behavior for each of them. But not understanding each other’s characteristics, the wife and husband behave in such a way that a conflict can arise out of the blue. The woman reproaches her husband that he pays little attention to the family, that he is busy working, that he comes late and is not interested in the problems of her and the children. Does the man sincerely not understand what she needs? He earns a lot, he has a good job, which requires time and effort. And this is precisely the main thing, and not some gatherings. There wasn't enough time to spend on it!

How to avoid a family shipwreck

Just two options for the development of events out of many possible ones, two families - and a whole sea of ​​problems, any of which can lead to the breakdown of relationships. Not understanding her husband, the woman tries to impose her view of life, her values ​​on him, and often “re-educate” him. But this is impossible. Each person is born with his own set of mental characteristics, values ​​and desires, which he unconsciously strives to realize.

The training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan gives an amazing skill to determine the inner essence of any person at first sight. With this knowledge, a woman will understand her man, his desires and the motives of all his actions. She will probably know that if you constantly rush and tug a man with an anal vector, the result will be a stubborn and offended arguer and a sloth, tormenting her with reproaches and accusations.

The wife of a skinned man will understand that he cannot be forced to sit at home. If you prevent him from realizing his ambitions and achieving success in society, then the woman may face anger, jealousy or betrayal. Understanding this, the wife will build her relationship with her husband in the best way for both. There will be no offense or irritation, and communication between them will reach the highest level, bringing happiness and mutual understanding to the family.

For a woman who wants to improve her relationship with her husband, there is only one way - to gain knowledge that will help her save her family and find a way out of the crisis. Getting to know a person again with whom you have lived for so many years is incredibly interesting and exciting. Thousands of results from women who already know how to improve relationships with their husbands confirm that even the most difficult family troubles can turn into a new honeymoon that will last a lifetime.

“...I realized that I had been fighting with him all my life, demanding, condemning, arguing, not accepting and considered it love. I thought that I loved him very much, but it turned out that numerous fears and complexes simply did not allow me to truly get to know him. But while the belief in separation prevails, it is impossible to do otherwise. Now, in my own husband, I suddenly found the love of my life, which I could not even dream of...”

“...No, he’s not a weakling, he’s just much weaker in soul than me, and I easily suppressed him. He helped me all this year when I was working - cooking, cleaning, fussing with my daughter, worried about me and always called me, what would I want so tasty today. He deserved to be loved, and I was very worried that I couldn’t give him this completely, I didn’t understand what to do with myself!

And then at the training it struck me like lightning: Yuri told me that a woman’s structure is such that love arises in her in response to a request from a man, in response to his care, but it was I who gave this request for him! It was I who gave protection and care! It was I who brought the mammoth into the house! And where does this love come from in this case! And it became clear what to do! come on, darling, slow down! Start getting weak! Some kind of relief came, I always considered all these female jokes humiliating, the very fact of being lower than a man, and the very fact of being a woman, what can I say!

I go and roar, I think how good he is to me, how long he put up with me! I came home, hugged him - he was so dear! She told me how the day went, she advised me on what to do in the situation - he just perked up somehow! He pressed me close to him, and I felt so good and calm as I had never felt before! And now I’m roaring, writing and tears are flowing..."

Any married couple at some stage of their life together experiences difficulties with mutual understanding, which often leads to conflicts and quarrels. If there is love, respect and devotion in the relationship, in fact, such problems are temporary, and the spouses are able to overcome them. To do this, you need to realize that family happiness and harmony are much more important than personal ambitions and stronger than everyday adversities.

Many women do not know how to improve family relationships with their husbands, so often marital conflicts remain unresolved and sometimes lead to divorce. In this article we will look at how to improve relationships with your spouse in various life situations in order to preserve your feelings.

How to improve your relationship with your husband after a quarrel

As a rule, a woman is by nature more sensitive and emotional, so she takes any event to heart, drawing conclusions that are often far from reality. Therefore, it is difficult for her to decide how to improve relations with her husband after a quarrel: in the conflict, she can see almost irreparable mistakes and insults. In reality, everything may be completely different, so in this case it makes sense to pay attention to some recommendations:

• Try to soberly assess the situation and look at the situation from the outside;
• Don't be afraid to be wrong;
• Don't see forgiveness as failure;
• Refuse the temptation to remember past grievances.

Not everyone succeeds in maintaining the logic of judgment when you are overwhelmed with negative emotions. But in order to understand how to improve relations with your husband after a quarrel, this is simply necessary. Anyone can inflate a situation to the size of a catastrophe, but seeing its true meaning, which in most cases is not worth mutual reproaches and nerves, is a great art. Therefore, you should calm down and just think about how serious everything that happened is.

The second answer to the question of how to improve relations with a spouse after a quarrel is a woman’s ability to recognize and accept her guilt in the conflict. An objective assessment of any situation is usually the best way out. And, as many psychologists advise, you just need to choose what is more important to you: being right or being happy. If a relationship with a person is expensive, then personal ambitions themselves will fade into the background.

In order to know how to improve family relationships with your husband, you need to not perceive forgiveness as a defeat in some battle. After all, spouses are not enemies on the battlefield: they are allies. And if your husband is wrong, and you are ready to forgive him, this should not be perceived as weakness or an admission of guilt. Such a step speaks of great love, which is higher than a momentary impulse to destroy the relationship.

Also, in order to know how to improve relations with your spouse after a quarrel, you should consciously forbid yourself to return to past grievances. After all, they, as a rule, have nothing to do with the current situation.

How to improve your relationship with your husband after he cheated

A man’s betrayal is very often perceived by him as a completely normal act, to which nature itself pushes him. Naturally, this is a poor excuse for a loving woman who demands fidelity and respect. If the husband thinks that an affair on the side is an inevitable reality that the wife will have to put up with, then thinking about how to improve relations with her husband after his betrayal is almost pointless.

But there are situations when such an act should be forgiven for the sake of preserving the family and in order to restore the previous good relationship. Perhaps the man really regrets what he did and still loves his wife. Is it worth destroying a marriage for the sake of a temporary hobby or, moreover, pleasure for one night?..

To understand how to improve your relationship with your spouse after he cheated, we offer the following tips:

• Talk to your husband openly and directly;
• Invite him to feel like he is in your shoes;
• Try to convey your emotions and experiences to him so that he understands how you feel;
• Try to evaluate his position and point of view on this issue.

If after such a conversation it becomes clear that the man repents and is ready to improve, you need to forgive him (of course, this is not easy). But in the case when he does not feel guilty and demands that his wife understand this behavior, the wife will have to choose between divorce and family life with her husband’s constant infidelities.

How to improve your relationship with your ex-husband after divorce

Often, ex-spouses come to the conclusion that they rushed to end the relationship. This usually happens when some time passes after the divorce and both assess the situation more soberly and without unnecessary emotions. Often the question of how to improve relations with a former spouse after a divorce is addressed by women who realize that family life is more important than proving that they are right.

It should be noted that a random impulse to return the relationship, which occurs on the third day after the breakup or a week later, may turn out to be a false signal. It may be a natural human reaction to the lack of established standards of life. In a word, this is a habit: a woman is used to waking up and falling asleep with her husband, preparing food for him, washing and ironing his clothes, watching TV with him, etc. And when she discovers that all this does not exist, she begins to think about how to improve the relationship with my ex-husband after a divorce.

However, to actually realize that living together with a spouse is what a woman wants, some time must pass. Therefore, do not be influenced by first reactions and try to get used to your new life.

If after a few months you still regret the divorce, then it makes sense to look for a way to rebuild the relationship. To do this, it is worth understanding how mutual such aspirations are. If your spouse is also ready to return everything, you should join forces and try to start all over again together.

In addition, it is necessary to deal with the reason for the divorce once and for all. If you need forgiveness of grievances, you should be prepared for it: hidden mutual grievances, if not immediately, then after a while, will make themselves felt. And the married couple may again find themselves on the verge of breaking up their relationship.

The best answer to the question of how to improve your relationship with your husband is to have the most frank conversation with him. After all, a family is a union where there should be no secrets or omissions.

There are situations when a crisis occurs in family life, and the husband and wife cannot find a common language. We have prepared some tips that will help you get out of a difficult situation and tell you how to improve family relationships and learn to prevent conflicts in family life.

Causes of family conflicts and their solutions

Any quarrel hides reasons that are much deeper than what you are fighting about. Did your husband take out the trash? Was your wife 5 minutes late? The guy didn't compliment the new dress? Is it because of a trash bag or a slight delay that you yell at each other? Not at all. And several million more people did not praise the new dress. But you needed to hear something pleasant from your partner. Let's try to figure out what lies behind family conflicts and quarrels in this article.

Rule #1: Don't be afraid to take responsibility

The real disaster in a relationship is when partners shift responsibility onto each other. In the heat of quarrels, a man and a woman express mutual accusations, without finding the right solution. It is important to learn to resolve conflicts in family life together, sharing equal responsibility for them. This will help make peace even after a strong quarrel.

Everyone is responsible for their own mistakes or words, and it turns out that in the heat of the moment, it was you who could not control your behavior. It is difficult to admit your guilt or mistake, but such behavior demonstrates the wisdom of a woman. If you behave with restraint, do not throw accusations and insults, then your husband will soon adopt this behavior.

Naturally, taking responsibility does not mean shouldering all the problems. No, you need to learn to understand the scale of the problem and how each partner can participate in solving it.

Rule No. 2: do not harbor grudges and do not leave conflict situations in the family unattended

- this is not a way to solve the problem, and after a heated scandal you should not forget about its cause. Quarrels arise due to a specific reason, and by dealing with it, you will get rid of the cause of the conflict and avoid its repetition in the future.

For example, if conflicts in family life occur due to a spouse’s bad habit, then choose an effective way to deal with this problem. Discuss everything with your partner, dividing the roles: what is the cause of the conflict, how can you solve it, what will be the actions of each partner when you start solving the problem?

Avoid playing on your partner’s feelings by getting offended over trifles.

If you understand that you have specific complaints, then do not be afraid to express them. And games of silence and manipulation of feelings do not add love to partners. When you want to point out your partner's mistakes, act gently and calmly.

But even if you have the habit of often being offended, then learn to forgive and still take at least part of the responsibility for the quarrel upon yourself. This skill can change your attitude towards quarrels, you will stop taking words so seriously and once again you will not provoke a conflict based on your grievances.

Rule #3: If you are wrong, admit your guilt.

The problem with modern relationships is the inability to “give up.” It is important for a man when his woman admits her guilt. How else can you improve family relationships if you don’t know how to admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness? After the conflict is over, be sure to talk about how you were rude in the heat of the moment and how you regret it. Of course, at first the offended man will receive the apology coldly, but a little later his heart will melt sincerity.

Rule No. 4: know how to accept criticism addressed to you, remember the virtues of your man

The ability to accept criticism is important for both women and men. Imagine that you came to an appointment with a cosmetologist, and he told you: “The skin is sagging, your breasts need to be tightened and cellulite removed!” Would it occur to you to be offended and immediately start criticizing the cosmetologist himself?

It’s the same with your other half: learn to listen and accept truthful criticism, which concerns character, behavior, and even appearance. Of course, in the heat of a quarrel, criticism may be exaggerated, but after the conflict is over, be sure to discuss everything that was said with your partner.

Adequate criticism expressed at a peaceful negotiating table is not a way to humiliate you or start another family quarrel. This is a factor that will help change you for the better, and you will learn about your partner’s attitude towards you and your shortcomings.

Along with the disadvantages, there are also positive aspects that couples forget about. Over the years of marriage, a man’s positive actions become the norm, and shortcomings come to the fore. To see the good and not the bad, try not to compare your partner to other men. Always remember why you fell in love with your husband or boyfriend, while at the same time trying to gently correct those shortcomings that you cannot come to terms with.

Rule No. 5: sex is not the engine of relationships

Sex, of course, is important, but it does not bind partners as tightly as mutual understanding, emotional connection, and fidelity. You should not give vent to your desires by choosing sex with several different partners. Consumer attitude towards it today is a problem of modern relations.

Physical love is one of the forms of manifestation of feelings, but the more you indulge your desires, the more insatiable you become. You can experiment, bringing something new into your intimate life, but do not become dependent. By the way, manipulation of sex is not the norm.

The phrase “you didn’t take out the trash - you’re sleeping on the couch today” will become the reason for another quarrel in the family later due to a hidden conflict.

Rule No. 6: partners have different interests

Marriage, love, relationships are not a reason to forget that a man and a woman can have different interests. You may not understand each other’s hobbies, but you also can’t limit your other half. Show that you care by giving your loved one the opportunity to do and believe in what they want. Naturally, if we are not talking about alcohol, drugs or infidelity.

The psychology of relationships with a husband often begins from the moment when the relationship is already broken. There is no time and no need to think about it before: after all, everything is fine, we live soul to soul.

By the way, an interesting combination of words - now say “soul to soul” in your thoughts again. It turns out that there is some kind of penetration into each other. I wonder what it feels like? Maybe they are what they call love? They strive to achieve something similar during sex - fusion... But spiritual unity is achieved not by physical intimacy, but by completely different means:

• common interests and
• sufficient communication.

When all of the above is complete, the sympathy between a man and a woman will rapidly improve, without the effort of worrying about appearance and excess weight.

How to improve your relationship with your husband?

When a breakdown or rupture occurs in the relationship between a husband and wife, many consider silence a gentle way to correct the situation, and then pretend that nothing bad happened. There is an expression: “Rose-colored glasses are broken with the glass facing inward.” Who do you think will get hurt? Of course, you. The unexpressed bitter aftertaste of a quarrel will lead to similar suffering, and soon the wife will be irritated not only by her husband’s words, but also by his appearance, his gaze, movements, and habitual actions. But such a development can be avoided. How? The surest way is to discuss the quarrel that happened. But not immediately, but after 2-3 days. Tell him that you want to talk about what happened, and try to listen to him calmly, without objections:

• ask what, in his opinion, was the cause of the quarrel?
• What is left unsaid?
• What words does he regret? Are there any feelings of guilt or resentment?
• how to resolve an unpleasant situation?
• and what can be done to prevent it from happening again?

But that's only half the story. The psychology of relationships is a mutual process. After your spouse, it will be your turn to answer the same questions. Ask to listen to you calmly without nerves. After all, the goal of what is planned is to make peace, and not to aggravate it with an emotional breakdown and mutual insults. Please, don’t be fussy, be honest, first of all, with yourself. If you feel that you are not ready to express some of your own thoughts, answer, for example, “I’ll think about it,” but don’t lie.

As the conversation progresses, something unusual will happen: after a temporary aggravation of negative emotions (tears, dissatisfaction and increased tone), you will not notice how bored you will become of discussing a family incident. This means that the negative is exhausted through communication. Perhaps you will want to make coffee, cook something delicious together, sit down on the couch together and watch TV. Did you notice? A bilateral discussion brought back sympathy, although the conversation was far from about love... Communication works wonders!

The psychology of relationships with a husband is a fragile thing.

Perhaps you are afraid to have such a conversation, for fear of destroying at least the union that remains, or because you yourself are not ready for a frank conversation. In this case, you can write it yourself:

• what led to the quarrel? And briefly describe the situation.
• what did you decide after the scandal? Did the decision you made help improve your relationship with your husband?
• What irritates your spouse? Answer everything without hesitation, from small things to important things?
• How long has he been unpleasant to you? When did the first quarrel happen?
• family for you – what is it? Who do you consider yourself in it and who is your partner?
• your personal attitudes about family life. For example, “All men are...”, “a husband should...”, continue on your own. Maybe it's time to change them to positive ones?
• Figure it out, do you value peace in the house or imposing your own position? Do you have love or a battlefield? Isn't it time to lay down your arms and try to accept a person as he is?

Re-read the answers and think about them.

Touching is a good way to improve relationships with your husband. Touch him more often: hug him, stroke him, lean against him. It doesn't have to be accompanied by words. Take his hand, look into his eyes and extend this moment... Communicate more in everyday life: do not mechanically pass bread to each other at dinner, the TV remote control or gloves. Do it not formally, but consciously, invest attention and love in your words and actions. Don’t live “automatically” and improve the quality of your love game.

Now close your eyes and remember your first date. Take your mind back to that moment - how do you feel? What are you thinking about? What emotions are you experiencing? Was it day or evening then? How are you and your loved one dressed? What were they talking about? Immerse yourself in these pleasant feelings and mood. And remember them more often. After all, love is a flower that needs to be watered every day, otherwise it will fade. (c) Natalya Solntseva