Conflicts are ways to resolve conflict situations. Conflict resolution styles

Ways, methods and methods of conflict resolution Everyone needs to know, because sooner or later in life they have to deal with difficult situations of disputes and contradictions. Everyone wants to get out of an acute situation with dignity, without spoiling relationships with another person or group of people. However, most often the conflict takes a more critical form and leads to a breakdown in relationships. How to learn to resolve issues of disagreement, and, if possible, avoid them altogether?

Conflict is inherently a normal state of human personality. It is precisely collisions with others that indicate that the individual is realizing his life activity. At the same time, know the repayment mechanisms conflict situations is extremely necessary, as this knowledge will help strengthen relationships in the social, professional and personal spheres. Skill resolve conflict quickly and competently– a very necessary skill that is useful for organizing a comfortable environment around yourself and in the team in which you happen to be.

Most people are not even aware of the conflicts they take part in, what events in their lives can be attributed to such acute situations, and what the reasons for the emergence of disagreements are. For a person, discord has an extremely negative effect, since all disagreements with others first of all give rise to intrapersonal conflict. Which, in turn, leads to deterioration of health, nervousness, and changes a person’s character in a negative direction. Have you noticed how a cheerful acquaintance gradually turns into a pessimist with an established loser program? The problem of such people is hidden in incorrect communication in society. If you are not happy about this prospect of metamorphosis, it is worth finding out what exist ways and means of conflict resolution.

The term conflict in psychology is defined as a clash of inappropriate and polar aspirations in relationships between people, in social groups and within oneself, which leads to emotional experiences.

Conflicts arise on the subject of converging ideas, views, and interests. The conflict is especially acute when it comes to one’s own achievements, goals, desires, ideas and motivations. The mechanism of the influence of conflict on a person: collision - emotional shock - the desire to feel important, ensure safety, privacy.

Ways to resolve conflicts

Options and ways to resolve conflicts are varied. In situations where each other's interests and opinions are affected, there are various aspects of people's behavior that have been worked out by specialists. Based on this analysis are based main ways to resolve conflict situations:

1. Competition.

This strong-willed way of resolving a controversial situation is suitable for strong individuals who are active and committed to realizing their own interests first and foremost, without relying on the interests of other individuals in the work process. Distinctive feature For such people, the ability to force others to accept his means of resolving disagreements.

This method is the most drastic of all other conflict resolution options. Suitable for those who have a powerful reserve internal forces in order to turn the tide and win others over to your side. Most often, such methods of conflict resolution are acceptable to managers. In this case, it is easiest to achieve employee compliance, positive completion of assigned tasks, and set the team up for the success and prosperity of the company. It is strong individuals who are able to lead organizations out of crisis, raise the general spirit and mood of the team to work effectively and achieve positive results.

Competition implies a strong position in the person who resorts to this type of resolution of controversial issues. However, there are often people who use this method of neutralizing the current conflict due to their own weakness. A familiar situation is when a person loses hope of resolving the situation in his favor and resorts to inciting a new contradiction with others. Thus, children often provoke their elders, getting what they deserve, and already act as a victim, complaining to their parents about the behavior of another child, whom he himself pushed to cause offense or pain to himself. There are often cases when people act as provocateurs solely because of their stupidity. This situation is most difficult and difficult to resolve in a team, especially if the culprit of the next conflict is the boss, who is difficult to resist due to subordination. Ways to resolve conflict diverse, nevertheless, having decided to resolve the confrontation in this way, you need to be confident in own strength and definitely know that the chances of stabilizing the situation in your favor are very high.

2. Evasion.

There are a variety of methods for resolving conflicts, however, it is reasonable to use this method when the gain of the opposing force becomes obvious.

"Escape" is considered a manifestation of cowardice and weakness, but not when it brings an advantage in future work and in relationships. More than once, most likely, you have encountered how managers play for time, delay in adopting a resolution, and put off resolving issues indefinitely. There are various excuses for this. Remember that there is a risk of complete fiasco, since it is quite difficult to avert the inevitable, and you should not constantly get carried away with this method of resolving conflict situations.

However, there are situations when it is wise to use avoidance to gain time. This is a manifestation of the strong and intelligent side of the personality. True, one should clearly distinguish between the desire to avoid responsibility and being in a wait-and-see position in order to resolve the conflict in one’s favor. Luck may not be on your side, then failure may be with a strong blow and emotional shock (awareness of one’s own indecision). Therefore, use this way of resolving contradictions wisely.

3. Device.

In this form, disagreements can be resolved when you recognize the dominance of your opponent. Here you have to neglect your interests in order to resolve disputes. Adaptation can be seen as a sign of weakness, or it can be seen as a reasonable position if:

By giving in to your opponent, you do not incur large losses;
Your priority is to maintain friendly relations with a colleague or team;
you do not have all the necessary resources and power to suppress disagreements;
you realize the importance of your opponent defeating you;
resistance and continuation of the struggle can significantly harm one’s own interests, future career and health;
the competitor has too powerful levers of suppression, it is necessary to adapt, look for loopholes and other ways to resolve the conflict in order to stay afloat and develop stronger than the rival in the future;
you are aware of the pitfalls behind making a decision. By giving your opponent the opportunity to implement an idea, you gain an advantage if it is confirmed that this decision on the part of your opponent was reckless.

4. Collaboration.

This method of resolving a conflict is based on the fact that both parties find advantageous positions for reconciliation and, without ignoring their own and others’ interests, enter into positive interaction. All methods of conflict resolution have their pros and cons, however, this path towards resolving disputes is the most favorable.

When both parties accept responsibility and have all the necessary resources to reduce or complete elimination of the conflict, then they are ready to continue cooperation, taking into account mutually beneficial solutions. This position is definitely for tactful and strong individuals who are able to express and voice their opinions, goals, desires, intentions and listen to the opponent in order to come to a common conclusion.

As a rule, those organizations that are far-sighted and are able to find more global areas of convergence of interests are faced with this form of conflict resolution. Correct prioritization allows you to resolve controversial issues at intermediate levels later narrow direction or temporary. This is a manifestation of a strong side.

If the decision-making is caused by weakness, then such cooperation is more likely to take the form of adaptation. However, this option is not negative if there are no sharp changes in the distribution of opposing forces in the near future.

5. Compromise.

When choosing methods of conflict resolution, one should not forget about this method of resolving disagreements, as the desire of both parties for compromise solutions. Sometimes this may be the only rational way to suppress the conflict. This method is suitable for those individuals who strive to realize common interests, but believe that their simultaneous achievement is unlikely. This situation often arises when the parties have an excellent reserve of capabilities, but have different scheme achieving results and mutually exclusive interests. In this case, the most the best option is short-term cooperation on compromise terms and obtaining benefits for both parties.

Methods for resolving conflicts

All existing on this moment Conflict resolution methods are of two types and carry two results in resolving the confrontation:

Negative methods;
positive methods.

Negative ways to resolve conflict include a mandatory struggle with the subsequent destruction of the unity of relations. By regulating problems using positive methods, both parties either come to mutual agreement or subsequently retain the ability to interact, negotiate and constructive dialogue.

In practice, both methods complement each other, since the element of struggle is equally inherent in any method of resolving disputes. In order to come to a common opinion, it is necessary to defend one’s own interests, set priorities, and put pressure on opponents to win over to one’s side. Moreover, creative competition gives birth to new ideas, gives impetus to the development of technologies, and brings into life the innovation necessary for further development. In addition, we remember the saying that “ truth is born in dispute».

Although the types of struggle are varied, they all have general signs. The goal of the fight– direction of a conflict situation towards reconciliation or victory. Nevertheless, each side considers it its duty to remain in a position superior to its opponent. Fighting is impossible without understanding the chances of victory, strategy, and the right time and place to strike.

There are the following ways to turn the situation around:

Direct or indirect influence on an opponent;
a change in the balance of opposing forces;
informing your opponent of your intentions both properly and truthfully;
analysis of the enemy's capabilities and their forces.

Conflict resolution methods

Conflict resolution methods can overlap and be combined with different types of struggle. You can consider the main ones.

1. The desire to achieve victory in order to gain authority and space to implement one’s further actions.

The main goal is to destabilize the opponent by instilling in him topics in which he is weak. It is important to weaken the opponent’s position, limit his freedom, sacrifice one’s own benefits in order to obtain better positions and mechanisms for further suppression of the opposing side.

2. Using the opponent's resources to achieve one's own benefit.

The main goal is to persuade the enemy to take actions that will bring obvious benefits to oneself.

3. Criticism of the work process of rivals.

The purpose of this method of fighting is to reveal, make public and disable the opponent’s key control centers. Exposure, discrediting, refutation, criticism, publication of the negative side helps to gain time and prepare a platform for the realization and advancement of one’s own interests.

4. Tightening.

Aspects such as speed and timing of strikes play a fundamental role in defeating the enemy. To implement such methods of struggle, they resort to deliberately delaying the resolution of pressing issues. You can just buy time in order to find the right moment, weaken and crush the enemy.

5. “Time is on our side.”

A method for those players who are confident in their chances of winning and are waiting for the moment when they can strike. During this period, you can arrange your forces, collect the necessary resources and prepare. Most shining example This type of struggle means expressing one’s position at the very end, when there is an opportunity to weigh all the pros and cons, take advantage of the ideas already voiced, while maintaining equanimity and dignity.

6. Avoidance of responsibility.

This method of fighting has something in common with method 4, but is not used to gain a temporary opportunity to gather strength and wait the right moment to strike, but is used to completely destabilize the enemy. As a rule, in the end the decision is not made at all, due to the physical, moral and financial exhaustion of the opponent.

7. Complete avoidance of conflict.

At first glance, it may seem like a manifestation of weakness, however, it makes it possible to gather strength, better study the opponent, solve a problem or find ways to solve it and strike an unexpected blow, after which you become a winner in a conflict situation.


Positive Ways to Resolve Conflict based on constructive negotiations. As a rule, the goal of interaction with an opponent is to unanimously defeat him. However, the option to achieve one’s superiority is chosen to be softer than the methods of struggle described above. Negotiations help to determine the opponent’s position, probe weaknesses, play on one’s own advantages in a particular issue, come to mutual concessions, and make a mutually beneficial decision.

Methods of resolving conflict through negotiations are based on basic rules of behavior, which, if followed, bring positive results and success in the confrontation.

1. You should concentrate on the subject of negotiations, and not on their participants, and refrain from criticizing your opponent, as this leads to emotional tension and aggravation of the communication process.

2. As a rule, rivals focus on their positions, clearly defending them. However, one should go deeper and return to the question of what interests the opponent is pursuing. In this way, it is possible to find out the sincere intentions of the enemy and come to an open dialogue, resolving all contradictions between both sides.

3. It is advisable to analyze the benefits that both parties will receive in the event of an agreement. Finding problems and solutions that are based on the interests of both teams will help steer negotiations toward reconciliation. It is psychologically more correct to be against any common problems than to be opposed to each other.

4. Objectivity when analyzing a problem makes it possible to avoid negativity towards your opponent. One way or another, having discarded subjective characteristics, it is much easier to come to a common decision and focus on satisfying common interests without biases and claims.

Ways to resolve conflicts also depend on how they will be regulated. Sometimes the method of drawing lots or involving a third party to resolve disputes is used. This is convenient when negotiations reach a dead end and it is extremely difficult to come to a common decision.

Speaking about disputes, we cannot ignore this important indicator like emotionality. In order to successfully solve a problem on the path to mutual understanding, you should have several skills that contribute to the successful completion of conflict situations:

Have peace of mind and... This allows you to more adequately assess the situation and the current situation;
keep your emotions under control and monitor your behavior;
be able to listen to your opponent and not interrupt, monitor the feelings of the people present;
understand what people have different ways dealing with a particular situation;
try to avoid insults towards your opponent.

Sticking to these small rules, you will notice that permission interpersonal conflicts will be easy for you, with minimal loss of nerves and with the most favorable outcome.

What else is important to remember about conflict resolution

If conflicts are not completely resolved, the likelihood of their resumption is very high. However, any desire to resolve controversial issues has its fruits. First of all, this provides the basis for further development. If you are able to resolve conflict in personal relationships, then you deserve the trust of your opponent. It doesn’t matter what conflict resolution methods you use. There is confidence that you will be able to solve even the slightest troubles and problems while maintaining strong relationships.

If you feel fear when a conflict arises, it means deep down you fear that your chances of a positive resolution are minimal. Moreover, if the past experience in resolving conflicts is negative, then confidence in a favorable outcome of the dispute is reduced to zero. As a rule, in this case you will make concessions and escape, which will lead to sudden outbursts of emotions that can only aggravate the situation.

Which ways, means and methods of conflict resolution you should use depends on your character and internal qualities; the main thing is to implement yours in the process of conflict resolution and, if possible, avoid resumption of clashes.

The conflict exit strategy is the main line of behavior of the opponent during conflict resolution.

There are five main strategies(K. Thomas): competition, compromise, cooperation, care, adaptation.

Rivalry consists in imposing on the other side a solution that is beneficial for oneself. Rivalry is justified in the following cases: the proposed solution is clearly constructive; the benefit of the result for the entire group or organization, and not for an individual or microgroup; the importance of the outcome of the struggle for those who support this strategy; lack of time to reach an agreement with the opponent. Rivalry is advisable in extreme and fundamental situations, in case of lack of time and a high probability of dangerous consequences.

Compromise consists in the desire of opponents to end the conflict with partial concessions. It is characterized by the renunciation of some of the demands that were previously put forward, the willingness to recognize the claims of the other party as partially justified, and the willingness to forgive. Compromise is effective in the following cases: the opponent understands that he and the opponent have equal opportunities; the presence of mutually exclusive interests; satisfaction with the temporary solution; threats to lose everything.

Accommodation or concession, is considered forced or voluntary refusal from the struggle and surrendering their positions. The opponent is forced to accept such a strategy by various motives: awareness of his wrongness, the need to preserve good relations with an opponent, strong dependence on him; frivolity of the problem. In addition, such a way out of the conflict is caused by significant damage caused during the struggle, the threat of even more serious negative consequences, no chance of a different result, pressure from a third party.

Care from solving a problem or avoidance is an attempt to get out of the conflict with minimal losses. It differs from a similar strategy of behavior during a conflict in that the opponent switches to it after unsuccessful attempts realize your interests using active strategies. Actually, we are not talking about a solution, but about the extinction of the conflict. Walking away can be a completely constructive response to a long-term conflict. Avoidance is used in the absence of energy and time to eliminate contradictions, the desire to gain time, the presence of difficulties in determining the line of one’s behavior, and the reluctance to solve the problem at all.

Cooperation is considered the most effective strategy for dealing with conflict. It presupposes the desire of opponents to constructively discuss the problem, viewing the other side not as an adversary, but as an ally in the search for a solution. It is most effective in situations of strong interdependence between opponents; the tendency of both to ignore differences in power; the importance of the decision for both parties; impartiality of participants.

The choice of strategy for exiting a conflict depends on various factors. Usually they indicate the personal characteristics of the opponent, the level of damage caused to him and his own damage, the availability of resources, the status of the opponent, possible consequences, the severity of the problem being solved, the duration of the conflict.

The most likely is the use of a compromise, because steps towards each other, taken by at least one of the parties, make it possible to achieve asymmetrical (one side gives more, the other less) or symmetrical (the parties make approximately equal mutual concessions) agreement.

A study of conflict resolution between a manager and a subordinate showed that a third of these conflicts end in compromise, two-thirds in a concession (mostly from the subordinate), and only 1-2% of conflicts end in cooperation. In conflicts between a manager and a subordinate, in 60% of situations, the boss is right in making claims against the subordinate (through omission in work, dishonest performance of duties, negligence). Therefore, most managers consistently use the strategy of competition in conflict, achieving the desired behavior from their subordinates.

Back in 1942, American social psychologist M. Folet pointed out the need to resolve conflicts, rather than suppress them. Among the methods, she highlighted the victory of one of the parties, compromise and integration. Integration was understood as a new solution in which the conditions of both parties are met, and neither of them will suffer serious losses. Further this method conflict resolution is called “cooperation”.

The basis of compromise is the technology of concessions to rapprochement or bargaining. The compromise has the following disadvantages: disputes over the positions of the parties lead to a reduction in transactions; the basis for tricks is created; possible deterioration of relations, because there may be threats, pressure, termination of contacts; if there are several parties, bargaining becomes more complicated, etc.

Despite this, in real life compromise is often applied. To achieve this, an open conversation technique can be recommended, which consists of: offering to end the conflict; admit your mistakes, already made in the conflict, they probably exist and admitting them costs almost nothing for you; make concessions to the opponent, where possible, on what is not the main thing in the conflict. In any conflict, you can find a few little things in which it is not difficult to give in. You can concede on serious, but not fundamental things, express wishes regarding concessions necessary on the part of the opponent; they, as a rule, relate to the main interests in the conflict; calmly, without negative emotions, discuss mutual concessions, and, if necessary, adjust them; if we managed to reach an agreement, then somehow record that the conflict has been resolved.

It is advisable to implement the style of cooperation using the method of principled negotiations.

Separating people from the problem: distinguishing between the relationship with the opponent and the problem; put yourself in your opponent’s shoes and don’t indulge your fears; show your willingness to deal with the problem; be hard on the problem and soft on the people.

Focus on interests, not positions: Ask “why?” and “why not?”; record basic interests; look for common interests; explain the vitality and importance of your interests; Recognize your opponent's interests as part of the problem.

Offer mutually beneficial options: do not look for a single solution to the problem; separate the search for options from their evaluation; expand the range of options for solving the problem; seek mutual benefit; find out what the other side prefers.

Use objective criteria: Be open to the other side's arguments; do not give in to pressure, but only to principles, use objective criteria for each part of the problem; use multiple criteria; use fair criteria.

The combination of strategies determines the way to resolve contradictions, which is the basis of the conflict.

Methods for resolving conflicts

Research shows that it is not the very presence of conflicts, but rather failures to resolve them in non-constructive ways that lead to the destruction of relationships. A relationship without conflict may be a sign that there is no relationship as such, rather than a sign of a good relationship. Conflict resolution in a constructive way may lead to more high degree rapprochement and more HIGH quality relationships (Fig. 6.4).

Rice. 6.4. Conflict resolution model

When managing conflicts, you must:

Recognize that they always occur;

View conflicts as part of a larger “picture”;

Do not let conflicts subside, use them to advance towards your goals.

Conflict management

Structural methods

Clarification of job requirements:

Expected results of work;

Information transmission channels;

System of powers and responsibilities;

Policies, procedures and rules.

Coordination and integration mechanisms.

The hierarchy of authority organizes human interactions, decision making, and information flows;

The rule “the boss is always right”, the use of project groups, cross-functional groups, interdepartmental meetings.

Organization-wide and comprehensive goals:

Effective implementation of goals requires the joint efforts of all employees.

Reward system structure’.

- coordinated use of reward systems promotes organizational goals and supports domestic policy companies.

Avoidance - do not enter into conflict, step aside, postpone the problem.

Device- neglect of one’s own interests for the sake of satisfying the interests of another person.

Competition - defending one’s own interests or “rights” at the expense of others, striving for “victory.”

Compromise - searching for a mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties.

Cooperation - developing a solution that fully satisfies both parties; deep penetration to the heart of the matter and search alternative solution; open communication and effective interaction, good working

Strategies for behavior in conflict.

Scientists have identified six main motives with which

people interact.

1. The motive for maximizing the total gain (or the motive

2. The motive of maximizing one's own gain (or individualism).

3. The motive for maximizing relative gain

4. The motive of maximizing the gain of another (altruism).

5. The motive of minimizing the gain of another (aggression).

6. The motive for minimizing differences in winnings (equality).

If the motives for communication coincide or naturally complement each other, then the contacts of such people will be most successful. There are obviously “losing” motives from the point of view of successful communication. Here we can, of course, highlight aggression and individualism, which ignore the interests of the communication partner. In accordance with the motives, the features of the behavioral strategy can be identified.

Let's imagine interaction as a process unfolding in a coordinate system (Fig. 6.5). Along the y-axis we will place those interaction strategies that are aimed at achieving participants’ own goals. And on the x-axis are strategies focused on achieving the goals of communication partners.

Rice. 6.5. Strategies for interaction in a conflict situation (Thomas-Kilman grid)

Accordingly, on each of the scales a minimum point and a maximum point can be identified. Then, in accordance with the initial motivation of the communication participants, five main strategies of their behavior in the interaction process can be identified.

The counteraction strategy (P) corresponds to the motive of maximizing one's own gain. A person is focused only on his own interests and goals without taking into account the goals of his partners in communication. This is competition, a forceful solution to the problem.

The avoidance strategy (I) corresponds to the motive of minimizing the gain of another. The meaning of this strategy is to avoid contact, true interaction, and one’s own goals for the sake of excluding the gain of another.

The compromise strategy (K) allows you to implement the motive of minimizing differences in payoffs. The essence of this strategy is incomplete achievement of goals by partners for the sake of conditional equality.

The cooperation strategy (C) is aimed at ensuring that the participants in the interaction fully satisfy their social needs. This strategy allows you to implement one of two motives social behavior person - the motive of cooperation or the motive of competition. This strategy is the most effective in human interaction. At the same time, it is quite difficult to implement, since it requires significant psychological efforts from communication partners to create an appropriate climate, resolve emerging contradictions in the spirit of mutual understanding, and respect for the interests of the other. In many cases, teaching people cooperation skills is an independent psychological task that can be solved by methods of active socio-psychological training.

The strategy of compliance (U) is focused on the implementation of the motive of altruism. In this case, a person sacrifices his own goals for the sake of achieving the goal of his partner. He adapts to the other person and to the situation as a whole.

There are no bad ones good ways resolving a conflict situation. What is suitable in one case may not be suitable in another. What's more important is flexibility in using different strategies.

Avoidance or withdrawal

By avoiding the conflict and not taking part in the further development of events, you thereby provoke your opponent to inflate demands or retaliately leave. Thus, the problem will never be solved. But during your absence it can grow significantly. Something that could have been solved quite easily by initial stage If a disagreement arises, it will be quite difficult to resolve when the problem has grown to enormous proportions.

Although, if your disagreement is insignificant and the gain is small, if resolving this disagreement will distract you from more important matters, if it is a pity to waste your time on solving an unimportant problem, and the loss seems like such a trifle that you should not even pay attention to it, it is easier to leave and forget, that this person even exists. This method is also good if you need to “pass for time” and collect additional information.

Forms of avoidance:

- “Washing out the bones” of the offender behind his back.

Transition to “purely business relations.”

Complete renunciation of any relationship with the “offending” party.

Compliance

A person tries to maintain good relationships at any cost. Sharp corners are carefully smoothed out, contradictions are “covered over”, and one’s own interests are suppressed. It pretends that nothing happened, that everything is wonderful. Of course, sometimes it happens that conflicts are resolved only by maintaining friendly relations. This tactic is justified if you were wrong, if restoring the relationship is more important to you than the essence of the conflict, if the concession is insignificant for you, while for your opponent it is very important, or if defending your position requires a lot of time and effort. If your opponent is significantly stronger than you, this tactic will also help you.

Forms of compliance:

You pretend that everything is fine and nothing bad is happening.

You continue to act as if nothing happened.

You accept what happens so as not to disturb the peace.

Suppress your negative emotions.

You scold yourself for your irritability.

You go to the goal in a roundabout way, for example, using your charm to achieve the goal.

Be silent, harboring plans for revenge in the depths of your soul.

Opposition

This is an open struggle for one’s own interests, a tough defense of one’s own position. The preference for this tactic is a subconscious desire to protect oneself from the pain of defeat. It certainly justifies itself if you need quick and decisive measures in a difficult situation, if the outcome is very significant for you and a lot is at stake, if you have no choice and have nothing to lose, and you are deeply indifferent to relations with the opposite side. But these tactics rarely produce long-term results. The decision is often sabotaged by the losing party. Beware the defeated!

Forms of counteraction:

The desire to prove oneself right and another person wrong.

Pout until your opponent changes his mind.

Use physical violence.

- “Don’t hear” and don’t accept refusal.

Demand unconditional concessions and acceptance of your point of view.

Call allies for support.

Require consent to maintain the relationship.

Compromise

You can try to resolve disagreements through mutual concessions. The method can be useful if you are satisfied with a temporary solution, if it is important for you to come to an agreement with minimal losses, if time is short and a decision must be made, if you want to gain at least something rather than lose everything. However, if a compromise is reached without careful consideration of other possible solutions, it may not be the best outcome of the negotiations. But it must be borne in mind that neither party will adhere to a solution that does not satisfy its needs.

Forms of compromise:

In conflict, you try to maintain comradely, friendly relations.

Look for a fair solution.

You try to divide the object of desire equally.

Avoid reminders of your championship.

You get something both for yourself and for another.

Avoid head-on collisions.

Yield a little to maintain balance.

Cooperation

This strategy is also called “win/win”. It differs from others in that the presence of a winner does not mean the presence of a loser. When using this strategy, both sides win. You find a solution that satisfies both sides. When both sides win, they will support the decision. In any case, it is much better and much more profitable in the long run to treat your opponent fairly. It’s not for nothing that there is a proverb: “Good glory lies, but bad glory runs ahead.” This is beneficial even from the economic side. Now that competition is growing, it is better to have a reputation as a decent person. Then they will want to work with you. The basic principle of this approach is based on searching for an agreement based on an analysis of the interests of the parties. This approach requires a detailed study of the situation and options for resolving it before making a final decision. For this:

1. Establish what need is behind the other party’s desire.

2. Find out where your differences cancel each other out.

3. Develop new solutions that best meet everyone's needs.

4. Do it together.

Analyze the interests of the parties. To successfully resolve a conflict, it is necessary to determine the true cause that gave rise to it. The reason that lies on the surface is often just a reason. Usually people are embarrassed to name the true reason for their dissatisfaction, assuming that this will hurt their pride or humiliate them. Often, just identifying the real cause by the parties to the conflict quickly leads to a settlement of relations. You need to work with true cause of the conflict. Having understood the true needs of the other, it is easier to come to an agreement. The disagreement may be based on different interests behind the demands being made. Let's imagine that your son loves music that you can't stand. What should I do? Disputes about whether or not to turn on the tape recorder will be resolved by themselves if you buy him good headphones!

Mutual concessions. You can successfully use a method that allows you to come to an agreement: everyone concedes to their opponent those positions that, in principle, are not important to him. That is, you give away what you don’t need, but your opponent does, and you take what you need, but is insignificant or of little significance to your opponent. In order to use this tactic, you need information about what is important to the other party. This is not always easy to figure out, since people tend to assume that what is important to them is also important to the other person.

Creative problem solving. If you are counting on constructive solution and further cooperation, do not be lazy and prepare as many different proposals as possible, the implementation of which will work for both opponents. Highlight common interests that you can realize together.

It is very important that your proposals do not humiliate your opponent, so that they give him the opportunity, even in case of concessions, to “save his face.” Discuss the possibility of mutually beneficial cooperation in the future. Rely on the common goals and interests of the parties. If you need to divide some resource, use the following tactics: one divides, the other chooses (in this case, everything will be “fair”).

Joint search for a solution. How to resolve conflicts in real life? Look for compensating aspects of disagreements and think through solutions more effectively together. By doing this you show that you perceive your opponent as a partner and not as an adversary. To successfully resolve a conflict, start by reaching agreement on minor points and fix your opponent’s attention on this.

Don't use expressions like “yes, but. ". It is much more productive not to deny a person’s position, but to gently express your disagreement with him. Phrases like:

- You're right, and at the same time.

- I understand your feelings, and at the same time.

You and I have come to agreement on the following points. Eliminate the particle “by” from your vocabulary. It only deepens the contradiction. It is much more effective to use phrases like “at the same time” or “at the same time.” For example: “I understand your feelings. And yet deep down. “Using such a simple technique, you will achieve a person’s favor much faster than by openly denying his position.

When emotions overflow, a person does not listen to any arguments. He feels like an instrument of justice. Therefore, first, he must be given the opportunity to “let off steam” and calm down. The most difficult thing at this moment is to remain calm. Try to distance yourself as much as possible from your opponent’s negative emotions and not let him “wind” you up. Much more important to solve common problem- wait for the decline of emotions and the intensity of passions. If the “moment of truth” drags on, you can resort to a little trick: ask permission to call or leave under any pretext. Perhaps in such a situation it would be advisable to postpone the conversation to another time.

It is very important to immediately cut off the history of the conflict. Returning to the roots only inflames passions and does not contribute to a successful outcome. No wonder they say: “Whoever remembers the old is out of sight.”

In any case, in a conflict you must keep active position and manage it. Take the initiative and try to talk to your opponent:

- Let's discuss, what's happening.

- You and I have something Lately doesn't stick.

- I care, that a “black cat” ran between us.

In this case, the person either begins to make excuses or honestly says what exactly he doesn’t like. In any case, this is already a dialogue, which means there is an opportunity to resolve the tense situation. You can use phrases like:

- Fine, offer alternative options conflict resolution.

- What exactly are you offering?

- We have come to an agreement, that we need to work further(these words already orient a person towards further events, towards long-term cooperation).

Let us list the stages of work.

1. Determine the needs of all parties to the conflict.

2. Think about how you can satisfy them all.

3. Recognize not only your own, but also other people's values.

4. Try to be objective, separate the problem from the individual.

5. Look for creative and non-standard solutions.

6. Don't spare the problem, spare the people.

To move to a collaboration strategy, you can use the following phrases:

- I want a fair solution for both of us.

- Let's see, like we both what we want.

we can get that,

- I came here to decide our problem.

You can get to the bottom of the disagreement by asking the following questions:

- Why does this seem like the best solution to you?

- What is the real need for this?

- What is important to you in this case?

- Let's say we solved this problem?

Questions like these help you move forward and find the most optimal solution.

Where both sides win, they are more likely to comply. decisions made, because they are acceptable to them and both parties were involved in the entire process of reaching an agreement.

Conflict resolution is hindered by:

Emotions: anger, resentment, desire for revenge.

Reluctance to listen to the other side.

Assessment of the conflict as insoluble.

Avoiding negotiations.

Research has established that approximately 80% of industrial conflicts are of a socio-psychological nature and move from industrial to interpersonal.

Due to strong emotions, consciousness narrows and an objective analysis of the situation is blocked. About 15% of working time is spent on conflicts and worries about them. If conflict is inevitable, initiate it to control the situation and perhaps enjoy the struggle. At the same time, it is important to assess the inevitability of the conflict, its goals, means, strength and support on both sides.

The most dangerous thing is not to notice the ripening conflict, which transfers it to the internal plane, heats up emotions and draws new participants into the conflict.

Conflict can be managed.

It can be quite difficult for a leader to manage conflict. Just as there are no identical conflicts, there is no single method for resolving them. However, the main steps can be identified.

Providing the necessary information to conflicting parties, eliminating false or distorted information, eliminating rumors, gossip, etc.

Organization effective communication between conflicting parties and their supporters.

Working with informal leaders and microgroups, strengthening the psychological climate in the team.

Solving personnel issues using “carrot and stick” methods, rewards and punishments, changing the conditions of interpersonal interaction. It is possible to use administrative methods, such as transfer to another job site, dismissal, etc.

In an interpersonal conflict, first listen to your opponent. Let him talk, talk about everything that worries him, irritates him, that he doesn’t like. Try to listen carefully to the person, distancing yourself from your negative emotions. Do not interrupt your interlocutor, let him speak out. Only then will you be able to understand what he really cares about, what the true cause of the conflict is, how he perceives himself and you, and what exactly he really wants. Only then will he be able to hear you. When a wave of emotions overwhelms you, words are useless - they, unfortunately, will not be heard. At this moment, a person remains deaf to any arguments of reason. It's better to wait for the emotions to subside. After this, we can talk about the true cause of the conflict. It often happens that a person is irritated by one thing, but he talks about something completely different. Sometimes an insignificant reason gives rise to such a hurricane of emotions that literally demolishes everything around. Why does ego happen? Yes, because the true cause of the conflict remained in the shadows. People conflict only when interests that are emotionally significant to them are affected. This could be self-esteem, money, unjustified expectations, jealousy, a feeling of being betrayed, offended, or insulted. These are all rather subjective sensations. Sometimes people prefer not to name the true cause of the conflict. And it is precisely its identification that leads to a quick settlement of relations. True, sometimes a person himself may not understand what is behind his unexpectedly strong outburst of anger. The unpleasant is repressed and is not realized.

To summarize, it should be noted that any conflict is just an episode, a small part of our life. And one should not exaggerate its importance.

Characteristics of conflict outcomes

The outcomes of the conflict (forms of resolution) are very diverse. There are two ways to put a conflict to rest: through removing the incident and through resolving the conflict situation.

Filming an incident is an attempt to somehow muffle the conflict. It can either be transferred to the stage of awareness (without conflict actions), or to the stage of an unconscious conflict situation. This can be done in several ways.

1. Ensure that one of the parties wins. In this case, the conflict is completely resolved, of course, if the losing side accepts its defeat, which is extremely rare in practice. The victory of one side is always a temporary state that persists until the next serious incident.

2. Removing conflict through lies. This can transfer the conflict into an unconscious form and thus gives the parties a delay in resolving their problems.

More radical opportunities for conflict resolution involve ways to resolve the conflict situation itself. This can be achieved using:

1. Complete physical or functional breeding of its participants. Thus, the very basis for conflict disappears. However, conflictual relations between former opponents can persist for a very long time due to the fact that they were never resolved. In addition, such a path can rarely be implemented in real practice.

2. Internal restructuring of the image of the situation. The point of this technique is to change internal system values ​​and interests of interaction participants. This can ensure that the object of the conflict becomes less important for them, or the relationship with the opponent becomes more important. This is quite complex work and requires help from a specialist psychologist, but this path can lead to constructive permission marital or family conflicts.

3. Conflict resolution through confrontation to cooperation. Its content is close to the previous one, but, as a rule, concerns business conflicts. It does not affect the deep relationships of people, but relates to their social or material interests.

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Topic 3.1 Social conflict. Ways to resolve conflict situations

Conflict. Ways to resolve conflict situations. Multiple Choice Questionnaire.

Such changes have a significant impact on behavior and professional performance

Mental state is an independent manifestation of the human psyche, always accompanied by external signs, having a transient, dynamic nature, most often expressed in emotions, coloring all mental activity of a person and associated with cognitive activity, with the volitional sphere and the personality as a whole.

  • feelings;
  • mood (euphoria, anxiety, frustration, etc.);
  • attention (concentration, absent-mindedness);
  • will (decisiveness, confusion, composure);
  • thinking (doubts);
  • imagination (dreams), etc.

Maladaptive mental states

The criterion for identifying maladaptive mental states is a decrease or loss of a person’s control over his condition, which in terms of the intensity of the experience or duration exceeds the person’s regulatory capabilities.

Prevention of adverse mental conditions

First mechanism associated with the inclusion of volitional regulation;

Second mechanism includes cognitive reappraisal according to the principle “Not really necessary”;

Third mechanism includes indirect cognitive control (involves the involvement of additional organizational, group, and personal resources).

Types of conflict

Social conflict– the most destructive way to resolve significant contradictions that arise in the process social interaction, which consists in the opposition of the subjects of the conflict and is accompanied by expressed negative emotions and feelings.

Conflict affects:

  • mental states and, as a consequence, the physical health of participants;
  • relationships between opponents;
  • quality individual activities;
  • socio-psychological climate of the group;
  • quality of joint activities.
  • Constructive
  • Destructive

Destructive consequences of conflict:

  • difficulties or impossibility of joint activities of the parties to the conflict;
  • strengthening of personal hostility of the conflict participants, up to the formation of the image of the “enemy”;
  • opposition between the parties to the conflict towards each other, which damages professional activity;
  • manifestation of unproductive competition in relation to other persons;
  • reduction of interpersonal communications up to their complete disappearance;
  • a decrease in the general background of mood and the effectiveness of individual activities among the participants in the conflict.

Constructive consequences of conflict:

  • in searching and developing mutually acceptable solutions;
  • in removing the hostility of the conflict participants towards each other;
  • in emotional release;
  • in psychological renewal of relationships;
  • in the emergence of a deeper and more adequate mutual understanding between people.
  • Objective level
  • Subjective level
  • Objective level
  • the subject of the conflict, that is, what causes the conflict;
  • main participants in the conflict;
  • secondary participants in the conflict, that is, those who explicitly or implicitly support the main participants in the conflict;
  • physical and social environment directly affecting the conflict;
  • factors of the physical and macrosocial environment that indirectly influence the conflict.
  • image of the conflict situation of each party;
  • the needs of the parties;
  • concerns of the parties;
  • positions of the parties;
  • current mental state participants in the conflict;
  • dynamic components of the individual psychological characteristics of the participants.

22. Ways to resolve conflicts

22. Ways to resolve conflicts

The model of human behavior in a conflict situation from the point of view of its compliance with psychological standards is based on the ideas E. Melibrudy, W. Siegert And L. Lange. Constructive conflict resolution depends on the following factors:

2) openness and effectiveness of communication, readiness for a comprehensive discussion of problems;

3) creating an atmosphere of mutual trust and cooperation.

by C. W. Thomas And R.H. Kilmann the most acceptable strategies for behavior in conflict situations. There are five styles of behavior in conflict: adaptation, compromise, cooperation, ignoring, rivalry (competition).

Style of rivalry, competition can be used by a person who has a strong will, sufficient authority, power, who is not very interested in cooperation with the other party and who strives primarily to satisfy his own interests.

Collaboration style can be used if, while defending your own interests, you are forced to take into account the needs and desires of the other party. The purpose of its application is to develop a long-term mutually beneficial solution. This style requires the ability to explain your desires, listen to each other, and restrain your emotions. The absence of one of these factors makes this style ineffective.

Compromise style. Its essence lies in the fact that the parties seek to resolve differences through mutual concessions. This style is the most effective, both parties want the same thing, but know that it is impossible to achieve at the same time.

Evasion style is usually implemented when the problem at hand is not so important, the conflict participant does not defend his rights, does not cooperate with anyone to develop a solution and does not want to waste time and effort on solving it. This style is recommended in cases where one of the parties has more power or feels that he is in the wrong, or believes that there are no serious reasons for continuing contact. This style is not an escape from a problem or an evasion of responsibility. Withdrawal or delay may be an appropriate response to a conflict situation.

Fixture style means that the participant in the conflict acts together with the other party, but does not try to defend his own interests in order to smooth out or restore a normal working atmosphere.

No one conflict resolution style can be singled out as the best. It is necessary to learn how to effectively use each of them and consciously make one or another choice, taking into account specific circumstances.

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Research shows that it is not the very presence of conflicts, but rather failures to resolve them in non-constructive ways that lead to the destruction of relationships. A relationship without conflict may be a sign that there is no relationship as such, rather than a sign of a good relationship. Resolving conflict in a constructive way can lead to greater closeness and HIGHER quality relationships (Figure 6.4).

Rice. 6.4.

When managing conflicts, you must:

  • - recognize that they always occur;
  • - consider conflicts as part of a larger “picture”;
  • - do not let conflicts subside, use them to advance towards the intended goals.

Conflict management

Structural methods

Clarification of job requirements:

  • - expected results of work;
  • - information transmission channels;
  • - system of powers and responsibilities;
  • - policies, procedures and rules.

Coordination and integration mechanisms.

  • - the hierarchy of authority streamlines the interactions of people, decision-making and information flows;
  • - the rule “the boss is always right”, the use of project groups, cross-functional groups, interdepartmental meetings.

Organization-wide and comprehensive goals:

Effective implementation of goals requires the joint efforts of all employees.

The structure of the reward system."

- The coordinated use of the reward system promotes the implementation of organizational goals and supports the internal policies of the company.

Interpersonal methods.

  • Avoidance - do not enter into conflict, step aside, postpone the problem.
  • Device- neglect of one’s own interests for the sake of satisfying the interests of another person.
  • Competition - defending one's own interests or "rights" at the expense of others, striving for "victory."
  • Compromise - searching for a mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties.
  • Cooperation - developing a solution that fully satisfies both parties; deep penetration into the essence of the issue and search for an alternative solution; open communication and effective interaction, good working

Strategies for behavior in conflict.

Scientists have identified six main motives with which

people interact.

  • 1. The motive for maximizing the total gain (or the motive
  • 2. The motive of maximizing one's own gain (or individualism).
  • 3. The motive for maximizing relative gain
  • 4. The motive of maximizing the gain of another (altruism).
  • 5. The motive of minimizing the gain of another (aggression).
  • 6. The motive for minimizing differences in winnings (equality).

If the motives for communication coincide or naturally complement each other, then the contacts of such people will be most successful. There are obviously “losing” motives from the point of view of successful communication. Here we can, of course, highlight aggression and individualism, which ignore the interests of the communication partner. In accordance with the motives, the features of the behavioral strategy can be identified.

Let's imagine interaction as a process unfolding in a coordinate system (Fig. 6.5). Along the y-axis we will place those interaction strategies that are aimed at achieving participants’ own goals. And on the x-axis are strategies focused on achieving the goals of communication partners.

Rice. 6.5.

Accordingly, on each of the scales a minimum point and a maximum point can be identified. Then, in accordance with the initial motivation of the communication participants, five main strategies of their behavior in the interaction process can be identified.

  • The counteraction strategy (P) corresponds to the motive of maximizing one's own gain. A person is focused only on his own interests and goals without taking into account the goals of his partners in communication. This is competition, a forceful solution to the problem.
  • The avoidance strategy (I) corresponds to the motive of minimizing the gain of another. The meaning of this strategy is to avoid contact, true interaction, and one’s own goals for the sake of excluding the gain of another.
  • The compromise strategy (K) allows you to implement the motive of minimizing differences in payoffs. The essence of this strategy is incomplete achievement of goals by partners for the sake of conditional equality.
  • The cooperation strategy (C) is aimed at ensuring that the participants in the interaction fully satisfy their social needs. This strategy allows you to implement one of two motives of human social behavior - the motive of cooperation or the motive of competition. This strategy is the most effective in human interaction. At the same time, it is quite difficult to implement, since it requires significant psychological efforts from communication partners to create an appropriate climate, resolve emerging contradictions in the spirit of mutual understanding, and respect for the interests of the other. In many cases, teaching people cooperation skills is an independent psychological task that can be solved by methods of active socio-psychological training.
  • The strategy of compliance (U) is focused on the implementation of the motive of altruism. In this case, a person sacrifices his own goals for the sake of achieving the goal of his partner. He adapts to the other person and to the situation as a whole.

There are no bad or good ways to resolve a conflict situation. What is suitable in one case may not be suitable in another. What's more important is flexibility in using different strategies.

Avoidance or withdrawal

By avoiding the conflict and not taking part in the further development of events, you thereby provoke your opponent to inflate demands or retaliately leave. Thus, the problem will never be solved. But during your absence it can grow significantly. What could be resolved quite easily at the initial stage of a disagreement will be quite difficult to resolve when the problem has grown to enormous proportions.

Although, if your disagreement is insignificant and the gain is small, if resolving this disagreement will distract you from more important matters, if it is a pity to waste your time on solving an unimportant problem, and the loss seems like such a trifle that you should not even pay attention to it, it is easier to leave and forget, that this person even exists. This method is also good if you need to “stretch out time” and collect additional information.

Forms of avoidance:

  • - Silence.
  • - Demonstrative care.
  • - Hidden anger.
  • - Depression.
  • - Ignoring the opponent.
  • - “Washing out the bones” of the offender behind his back.
  • - Transition to “purely business relations.”
  • - Indifferent attitude.
  • - Complete renunciation of any relationship with the “offending” party.

Compliance

A person tries to maintain good relationships at any cost. Sharp corners are carefully smoothed out, contradictions are “covered over”, and one’s own interests are suppressed. It pretends that nothing happened, that everything is wonderful. Of course, sometimes it happens that conflicts are resolved only by maintaining friendly relations. This tactic is justified if you were wrong, if restoring the relationship is more important to you than the essence of the conflict, if the concession is insignificant for you, while for your opponent it is very important, or if defending your position requires a lot of time and effort. If your opponent is significantly stronger than you, this tactic will also help you.

Forms of compliance:

  • - You pretend that everything is fine and nothing bad is happening.
  • - You continue to act as if nothing happened.
  • - You accept what happens so as not to disturb the peace.
  • - Suppress your negative emotions.
  • - You scold yourself for your irritability.
  • - Go to the goal in a roundabout way, for example, using your charm to achieve the goal.
  • - Be silent, harboring plans for revenge in the depths of your soul.

Opposition

This is an open struggle for one’s own interests, a tough defense of one’s own position. The preference for this tactic is a subconscious desire to protect oneself from the pain of defeat. It certainly justifies itself if you need quick and decisive measures in a difficult situation, if the outcome is very significant for you and a lot is at stake, if you have no choice and have nothing to lose, and you are deeply indifferent to relations with the opposite side. But these tactics rarely produce long-term results. The decision is often sabotaged by the losing party. Beware the defeated!

Forms of counteraction:

  • - The desire to prove oneself right and another person wrong.
  • - Pout until your opponent changes his mind.
  • - Shout out to the offender.
  • - Use physical violence.
  • - “Don’t hear” and don’t accept refusal.
  • - Demand unconditional concessions and acceptance of your point of view.
  • - Outwit your opponents.
  • - Call allies for support.
  • - Require consent to maintain relationships.

Compromise

You can try to resolve disagreements through mutual concessions. The method can be useful if you are satisfied with a temporary solution, if it is important for you to come to an agreement with minimal losses, if time is short and a decision must be made, if you want to gain at least something rather than lose everything. However, if a compromise is reached without careful consideration of other possible solutions, it may not be the best outcome of the negotiations. But it must be borne in mind that neither party will adhere to a solution that does not satisfy its needs.

Forms of compromise:

  • - In a conflict, you try to maintain comradely, friendly relations.
  • - Look for a fair solution.
  • - You try to divide the object of desire equally.
  • - Avoid reminders of your championship.
  • - You get something both for yourself and for another.
  • - Avoid head-on collisions.
  • - Yield a little to maintain balance.

Cooperation

This strategy is also called "win/win". It differs from others in that the presence of a winner does not mean the presence of a loser. When using this strategy, both sides win. You find a solution that satisfies both sides. When both sides win, they will support the decision. In any case, it is much better and much more profitable in the long run to treat your opponent fairly. It’s not for nothing that there is a proverb: “Good glory lies, but bad glory runs ahead.” This is beneficial even from the economic side. Now that competition is growing, it is better to have a reputation as a decent person. Then they will want to work with you. The basic principle of this approach is based on searching for an agreement based on an analysis of the interests of the parties. This approach requires a detailed study of the situation and options for resolving it before making a final decision. For this:

  • 1. Establish what need is behind the other party’s desire.
  • 2. Find out where your differences cancel each other out.
  • 3. Develop new solutions that best meet everyone's needs.
  • 4. Do it together.

Analyze the interests of the parties. To successfully resolve a conflict, it is necessary to determine the true cause that gave rise to it. The reason that lies on the surface is often just a reason. Usually people are embarrassed to name the true reason for their dissatisfaction, assuming that this will hurt their pride or humiliate them. Often, just identifying the real cause by the parties to the conflict quickly leads to a settlement of relations. You need to work with true cause of the conflict. Having understood the true needs of the other, it is easier to come to an agreement. The disagreement may be based on different interests behind the demands being made. Let's imagine that your son loves music that you can't stand. What should I do? Disputes about whether or not to turn on the tape recorder will be resolved by themselves if you buy him good headphones!

Mutual concessions. You can successfully use a method that allows you to come to an agreement: everyone concedes to their opponent those positions that, in principle, are not important to him. That is, you give away what you don’t need, but your opponent does, and you take what you need, but is insignificant or of little significance to your opponent. In order to use this tactic, you need information about what is important to the other party. This is not always easy to figure out, since people tend to assume that what is important to them is also important to the other person.

Creative problem solving. If you are counting on a constructive solution and further cooperation, do not be lazy and prepare as many different proposals as possible, the implementation of which will work for both opponents. Highlight common interests that you can realize together.

It is very important that your proposals do not humiliate your opponent, so that they give him the opportunity, even in case of concessions, to “save his face.” Discuss the possibility of mutually beneficial cooperation in the future. Rely on the common goals and interests of the parties. If you need to divide some resource, use the following tactics: one divides, the other chooses (in this case, everything will be “fair”).

Joint search for a solution. How to resolve conflicts in real life? Look for compensating aspects of disagreements and think through solutions more effectively together. By doing this you show that you perceive your opponent as a partner and not as an adversary. To successfully resolve a conflict, start by reaching agreement on minor points and fix your opponent’s attention on this.

Don't use expressions like "yes, but...". It is much more productive not to deny a person’s position, but to gently express your disagreement with him. Phrases like:

  • - You're right, and at the same time...
  • - I understand your feelings, and at the same time...
  • - You and I have come to an agreement on the following points... Eliminate the particle “by” from your vocabulary. It only deepens the contradiction. It is much more effective to use phrases like “at the same time” or “at the same time.” For example: “I understand your feelings. And yet, deep down...” Using such a simple technique, you will achieve a person’s favor much faster than by openly denying his position.

When emotions overflow, a person does not listen to any arguments. He feels like an instrument of justice. Therefore, first, he must be given the opportunity to “let off steam” and calm down. The most difficult thing at this moment is to remain calm. Try to distance yourself as much as possible from your opponent’s negative emotions and not let him “wind” you up. It is much more important to solve a common problem - to wait for the decline of emotions and the intensity of passions. If the “moment of truth” drags on, you can resort to a little trick: ask permission to call or leave under any pretext. Perhaps in such a situation it would be advisable to postpone the conversation to another time.

It is very important to immediately cut off the history of the conflict. Returning to the roots only inflames passions and does not contribute to a successful outcome. No wonder they say: “Whoever remembers the old is out of sight.”

In any case, in a conflict, you must take an active position and manage it. Take the initiative and try to talk to your opponent:

  • - Let's discuss, what's happening.
  • - Something hasn't been going well for you and me lately.
  • - I care, that a “black cat” ran between us.

In this case, the person either begins to make excuses or honestly says what exactly he doesn’t like. In any case, this is already a dialogue, which means there is an opportunity to resolve the tense situation. You can use phrases like:

  • - Fine, offer alternative solutions to the conflict.
  • - What exactly are you offering?
  • - We have come to an agreement, that we need to work further(these words already orient a person towards further events, towards long-term cooperation).

Let us list the stages of work.

  • 1. Determine the needs of all parties to the conflict.
  • 2. Think about how you can satisfy them all.
  • 3. Recognize not only your own, but also other people's values.
  • 4. Try to be objective, separate the problem from the individual.
  • 5. Look for creative and non-standard solutions.
  • 6. Don't spare the problem, spare the people.

To move to a collaboration strategy, you can use the following phrases:

  • - I want a fair solution for both of us.
  • - Let's see, like we both what we want.

we can get that,

- I came here to decide our problem.

You can get to the bottom of the disagreement by asking the following questions:

  • - Why does this seem like the best solution to you?
  • - What is the real need for this?
  • - What is important to you in this case?
  • - Let's say we solved this problem?

Questions like these help you move forward and find the most optimal solution.

Where both parties benefit, they are more likely to implement the decisions made because they are acceptable to them and both parties were involved in the entire process of reaching an agreement.

Conflict resolution is hindered by:

  • - Emotions: anger, resentment, desire for revenge.
  • - Reluctance to listen to the other side.
  • - Assessment of the conflict as insoluble.
  • - Avoiding negotiations.

Research has established that approximately 80% of industrial conflicts are of a socio-psychological nature and move from industrial to interpersonal.

Due to strong emotions, consciousness narrows and an objective analysis of the situation is blocked. About 15% of working time is spent on conflicts and worries about them. If conflict is inevitable, initiate it to control the situation and perhaps enjoy the struggle. At the same time, it is important to assess the inevitability of the conflict, its goals, means, strength and support on both sides.

The most dangerous thing is not to notice the ripening conflict, which transfers it to the internal plane, heats up emotions and draws new participants into the conflict.

Conflict can be managed.

It can be quite difficult for a leader to manage conflict. Just as there are no identical conflicts, there is no single method for resolving them. However, the main steps can be identified.

  • - Providing the necessary information to conflicting parties, eliminating false or distorted information, eliminating rumors, gossip, etc.
  • - Organizing effective communication between conflicting parties and their supporters.
  • - Working with informal leaders and microgroups, strengthening the psychological climate in the team.
  • - Resolving personnel issues using “carrot and stick” methods, rewards and punishments, changing the conditions of interpersonal interaction. It is possible to use administrative methods, such as transfer to another job site, dismissal, etc.

In an interpersonal conflict, first listen to your opponent. Let him talk, talk about everything that worries him, irritates him, that he doesn’t like. Try to listen carefully to the person, distancing yourself from your negative emotions. Do not interrupt your interlocutor, let him speak out. Only then will you be able to understand what he really cares about, what the true cause of the conflict is, how he perceives himself and you, and what exactly he really wants. Only then will he be able to hear you. When a wave of emotions overwhelms you, words are useless - they, unfortunately, will not be heard. At this moment, a person remains deaf to any arguments of reason. It's better to wait for the emotions to subside. After this, we can talk about the true cause of the conflict. It often happens that a person is irritated by one thing, but he talks about something completely different. Sometimes an insignificant reason gives rise to such a hurricane of emotions that literally demolishes everything around. Why does ego happen? Yes, because the true cause of the conflict remained in the shadows. People conflict only when interests that are emotionally significant to them are affected. This could be self-esteem, money, unjustified expectations, jealousy, a feeling of being betrayed, offended, or insulted. These are all rather subjective sensations. Sometimes people prefer not to name the true cause of the conflict. And it is precisely its identification that leads to a quick settlement of relations. True, sometimes a person himself may not understand what is behind his unexpectedly strong outburst of anger. The unpleasant is repressed and is not realized.

To summarize, it should be noted that any conflict is just an episode, a small part of our life. And one should not exaggerate its importance.

Characteristics of conflict outcomes

The outcomes of the conflict (forms of resolution) are very diverse. There are two ways to put a conflict to rest: through removing the incident and through resolving the conflict situation.

Filming an incident is an attempt to somehow muffle the conflict. It can either be transferred to the stage of awareness (without conflict actions), or to the stage of an unconscious conflict situation. This can be done in several ways.

  • 1. Ensure that one of the parties wins. In this case, the conflict is completely resolved, of course, if the losing side accepts its defeat, which is extremely rare in practice. The victory of one side is always a temporary state that persists until the next serious incident.
  • 2. Removing conflict through lies. This can transfer the conflict into an unconscious form and thus gives the parties a delay in resolving their problems.

More radical opportunities for conflict resolution involve ways to resolve the conflict situation itself. This can be achieved using:

  • 1. Complete physical or functional breeding of its participants. Thus, the very basis for conflict disappears. However, conflictual relations between former opponents can persist for a very long time due to the fact that they were never resolved. In addition, such a path can rarely be implemented in real practice.
  • 2. Internal restructuring of the image of the situation. The meaning of this technique is to change the internal system of values ​​and interests of the participants in the interaction. This can ensure that the object of the conflict becomes less important for them, or the relationship with the opponent becomes more important. This is quite complex work and requires help from a psychologist, but this path can lead to a constructive resolution of marital or family conflicts.
  • 3. Conflict resolution through confrontation to cooperation. Its content is close to the previous one, but, as a rule, concerns business conflicts. It does not affect the deep relationships of people, but relates to their social or material interests.

Concept of conflict

Conflict is a clash different interests; a natural process that should not be feared. With the right attitude, conflicts can teach us how to interact optimally with the world, get to know ourselves and people better, and reveal a diversity of points of view. Resolving interpersonal conflict brings relationships to a higher quality level, expands the capabilities of the group as a whole, and unites it.

is a clash of personalities with different goals, characters, views, etc.

The prerequisite for the emergence of a conflict is conflict situation. It appears when the interests of the parties do not coincide, the pursuit of opposing goals, the use of different means to achieve them, etc. A conflict situation is a condition of conflict. For a situation to turn into a conflict, a push is needed.

Ways to resolve interpersonal conflict

  1. Evasion- reluctance to participate in conflict resolution and protect one’s own interests, desire to get out of a conflict situation.
  2. Device- an attempt to soften a conflict situation and maintain relationships by yielding to enemy pressure. The adaptation is applicable to conflict situations in the relationship between a boss and a subordinate.
  3. Compulsion- this is conflict management through pressure, the use of power or force, in order to force people to accept their point of view.
  4. Confrontation focused on achieving its own goals without taking into account the interests of the other party. There is no scope for coercion. This method of conflict resolution does not resolve anything.
  5. Compromise- This is the resolution of the conflict through mutual concessions.
  6. Cooperation involves a joint search for a solution that meets the interests of all parties.

The best way to resolve conflict is cooperation.

Any group, family or couple represents system, united by one field.
All parties to the conflict are equally necessary for the system.

Conflict management

You can try to avoid a sudden conflict. If it cannot be avoided, it must be met calmly and strive to be resolved to the satisfaction of all conflicting parties.
Towards resolution conflict situation we need to prepare. Define your goal. What would you like? If you resolve a conflict through negotiations, choose a time and place that is convenient for both parties.

To properly manage an interpersonal conflict, it is important not only to remember your position and understand the position of the other side, but also to be aware of the state of the field as a whole.

Calmly state your interests and ask your opponent if he wants to work on resolving the conflict. If he doesn’t want to, then how does he see the solution to the problem. Offer different variants. If they are not accepted, work through the conflict yourself.

If the enemy is ready to resolve the conflict, understand your state: what you are feeling now and whose side you are taking at this moment - yours or your enemy partner.

Seek understanding, not victory. Calmly discuss the reasons that caused the conflict. Figure out what led to the conflict: the actions of the other side or your misunderstanding of the situation. Assume the best, don't blame until you find out what the other person meant. Ask the right and tactful questions.

Defend your position, but do not put pressure on your partner. Don't ask him to change. Pressure limits the capabilities of both parties and does not contribute to resolving the conflict.

Watch what you say:

  • Use words that “lift” a person rather than “bring him down.”
  • Ask yourself if what you are saying now is true, are you exaggerating?
  • Do not use the words “always” and “never”.
  • Be truthful and do it with kindness.
  • Sometimes it is better to remain silent.

Attack the problem, not the person.

  • Talk about specific things, don't generalize.
  • Solve the main issues, don't get caught up in the little things.
  • Don't talk about him, talk about yourself. Instead of “you’re lying,” say: “I have different information.”
  • Relax and don't be afraid of anything. Remember the spirit of the field, if you do not interfere with it, the conflict will be resolved in the best way.

Be aware of your feelings and express them. Be sincere with yourself and your partner. Share your feelings correctly. This will help your partner understand you better. Allow your partner to freely express their emotions. Understand your feelings: determine which emotions you can express and which you suppress. Why? Communicating your experiences is one way to defend your position.

Manage your emotions Don't suppress them, but don't let them control you either. As you express them, be aware of the space around you. After expressing an emotion, calmly let it go. Don't cling to your fear, resentment or pain. If, after fully and sincerely expressing your emotions, you feel uncomfortable, it is okay to back off. Concession does not mean defeat, but provides an opportunity to continue the dialogue.
A flexible and creative attitude to the situation is one of the conditions for conflict management.

Learn to feel the state of the other, the general “atmosphere” of the conflict. Remember that you are in general field, where each participant plays his role in the overall process.
Be open to opportunities that may arise during the conflict resolution process.

When you realize your emotions have subsided or you have lost interest in the conflict, admit it. Step out of your role and literally change your position.– move to another place, look from the outside at the conflict, at yourself and your partner.
What new things have you learned about yourself and the current situation? Perhaps new relationship options will open up for you.

If you now want to help your partner, return to the conflict and take his position. Do it sincerely, ask how you can help him. Watch him, try to feel what he is experiencing now. Help him express his feelings.

Accepting the position of our opponent helps us understand which sides of ourselves we are currently in conflict with. A conflict situation arises because there is something in ourselves that agrees with our opponent. The field organizes conflict so that we understand ourselves better. And until we understand this, we will find ourselves in similar conflicts or remain in the same conflict situation for a long time.

If you were able to sincerely work through all the aspects of resolving the conflict, it will subside or move to a new level where other problems and new feelings will appear. Work through this level too.

If the conflict subsides, get out of it. Forgive yourself and your opponent. Forgiveness liberates, restores relationships, eliminates negative emotions. Find words that correctly reflect the situation without humiliating you or your partner.
If a person says, “no,” it’s not yours problem. You do what is right for you.

If joint efforts do not resolve the conflict, try to solve the problem yourself. To do this, imagine the parties to the conflict as internal parts of your “I” and work through it.

To become a master of conflict management, you need to develop sensitivity. This makes it possible to feel the intentions of the partner (enemy), allowing for a more constructive dialogue. To develop sensitivity, learn to live in the present moment - “here and now.” In the present, a person is balanced and open to new things, able to respond flexibly to a changing situation.

Conflict management is available to those who know how to manage themselves. This can only be learned through personal experience, in the process of internal growth.

To prepare for resolving interpersonal conflict You can use the help of a friend. Describe to him the current situation as objectively as possible. Ask him to play the role of your opponent. Use what you read above.